EDIT: Fixed some dialogue.

Chapter 101: Deus Ex Simia

Alternate title…Chapter 101: Kill Bills.

(…don't worry. That's a joke. I'm not actually killing him off so soon. Probably. Maybe.)

(Speaking of which, if the actual title isn't quite an accurate translation, I know, but the most accurate one sounded considerably less cool...)

Stop advertising in the reviews, please. It actually makes me want to read the story being advertised less, because it's like an annoying ad's just popped up on my computer. Please don't do it any more.

Hold on…did I not screw up the timeline after all?

Could it be that Bills didn't come early, but it's just that since Pan was born earlier in this timeline things seem skewed?

I'm not sure…

Final thing: Note that Old Kai is dead here. That's because in BTtL, they wished to revive everyone killed in Babidi and Buu's rampages; in canon, they simply revived everyone who'd died during that time, regardless of the cause (in both cases, except the evil ones). Hence, Old Kai was resurrected in canon, but not here.


"RAAAAAH!"

That, and a series of noises comparable to thunderclaps on steroids, or some other suitably hyperbolic simile, were all that could be heard for quite a while as Gohan continued to hammer on Bills' defences.

He attacked again, and Bills jumped away, landing beside the saiyan. "Ahh…huh…" The God of Destruction wheezed. "You…have done well. You've almost become as strong again as you were when you were in your God form. But!" Gohan spun, wordlessly throwing an uppercut, but Bills caught his forearm, skidding back slightly from the Super Saiyan's seemingly-inexhaustible strength. Bills slowly began to force Gohan's arm back, continuing; "Even at your best, you never made me use more than 70 percent of my power." He threw Gohan back, lowering his hand. "And you're on borrowed time now. Soon, even 70% will be overkill for dealing with you."

"Hhh…uh…grrhh…" Gohan took in a heaving breath, fixing Bills with a glare. "You asking me…to give up?"

Bills nodded slowly. "I am. Be reasonable. After all that I have said, do you have any reason to believe that you can still win?"

"No…heh, not really." Gohan laughed softly, wincing at the pain that it sent shooting through his abdomen. "Hell, you've pretty much got me beat if that was only 70%. So yeah…I want to give up. I really do."

"You…" Bills frowned. "You're really…?" What happened to that determination?

"Of course I'm not!" Gohan snapped. "Lemme finish." He rapped his knuckles on the side of his head, trying to clear his blurring vision. "Y'see…I want to stop fighting now. I've never been a big fan of it, to be honest. I'm hurting pretty bad…you're tired too, but not nearly as much as me…and all in all I think you're right. I really want to just give up now." He held up a finger. "But—I can't!"

"You what?" Bills scratched his head, expression blank. "What kind of logic is that?"

"See…there's all these people around here…they're all watching, and hoping with everything they've got that I'll beat you." Even as he said this, his friends and family were timidly approaching, frightened of the power on display, but curious at the pause in the battle. "Even more than I don't want to fight…I don't want to let them down. Videl…Goten…Mom, Dad…in this world or the next," he finished, the hum of his Super Saiyan aura growing to a crescendo, "I'm not gonna see them cry."

"Noble." Bills darted in, ducking under an unco-ordinated swipe and landing two successive jabs to Gohan's face, knocking him back again. "But all the good intentions in the world won't change the fact that you're outclassed, and hopelessly so."

"Gohan—!" Videl's teeth clenched at the sight of her partner being struck again, barely holding herself back despite the odds. "D-Don't be so focused on winning you forget about surviving, okay?!" she called out with sudden force. "You're not gonna let Pan grow up without you, are you? Stop letting him hit you!"

Bills lunged again, but swung through nothing but air, feeling a grip on his shoulder. "Survive?" Gohan mumbled. "Don't think I can manage that anymore—I'll be happy...if Pan gets to grow up at all, at this point..." He threw Bills up and over his head, the Hakaishin flying backwards through a Capsule Corp building and into the road behind. Cars swerved and honked at the sudden arrival, frantic to get out of the way—Bills, naturally, ignored them, staring up at the ruined building until Gohan appeared hovering above the wreckage. Bills launched himself back up at Gohan, who retreated into the centre of the compound to receive Bills' charge. He swayed out of the way, forming an energy sword and slicing at his opponent. Bills bared his teeth with a bestial growl, raising an arm and focusing his own ki into a circular shield, letting Gohan's attack clash against it, throwing off sparks of deadly energy.

He formed such a strong defence…so quickly! Gohan dissipated his sword, kicking off Bills' shield and backflipping away, then launching a two-handed kiai back down at his enemy. Bills had already dropped his own construct and immediately returned fire with a kiai of his own. The two shockwaves of force collided, blasting both fighters away instantly. They flipped to their feet, drawing back ki-charged fists and charging, passing each other with a final superluminal flash, accompanied by an explosive wave of power that threatened to shake the city apart.

The two fighters stood opposite each other for a second, arms extended. Bills winced as a deep cut opened on his upper arm, standing up straighter. "You fought well, Saiyan God," he murmured, as Gohan collapsed behind him, golden aura vanishing.

"Gohan!" Goku yelled.

Chi-Chi froze. "No…"

"And now, as promised," Bills said without the slightest pause, "I'll destroy Earth."

Everyone shrank back, fearful of the glowing hand Bills raised. "D-Damn you…!" Tien growled.


Damn it…why won't my body move?

I'm not done yet!

Even if it kills me…I will be a hero like them…!

Doesn't mean…not feeling fear—it means overcoming it! It doesn't mean you never fall…

It means you stand back up!


Bills' eyes narrowed, his slowly-coalescing energy ball growing brighter—and then it was gone, and there was a terrible fiery heat on his back—

Gohan, the power of the Super Saiyan God burning around him, had grappled the god from behind, locking both arms around Bills'. "I won't let you take this world from me!" His energy began to climb in intensity, and it was clear to the shocked onlookers that he was preparing for a suicide attack.

"You—!" Bills choked. "How did you regain your god form?!" When he got no reply, he tried a different tack. "You'd really sacrifice your life to stop me destroying this world?"

"Like I said…it's not something I want to do, but…no matter how much my body's hurting, or my mind is screaming that it wants to survive…if, because of how I feel, I let down seven billion people…that'd just be selfish of me."

He's serious! Bills realised, panicking.

"This is the end, Bills—" Gohan began, but then, faster than even the gods could follow, Whis was there, arm blurred in movement like a striking snake, seemingly barely brushing by Gohan's neck; and then, God power fading again, Gohan fell, releasing Bills and landing sprawled at the duo's feet.

"D-Damn…!" Gohan spat, struggling to sit up. "The other one…!"

"I am sorry," Whis said, bowing, "but I could not let you kill both yourself and Lord Bills—it would be a great shame to lose either of you. Have no fear, however—Bills will not be destroying the Earth."

"Right," Bills agreed. "Watch." He charged up energy in his hand again, firing a ki blast directly at the ground—but the crater it created was barely a metre across. "Even fighting at only 70%…I used up all my stamina against you," Bills admitted to Gohan.

"Indeed, you've destroyed a very small Earth," Whis giggled. "But that's not what I meant." He grinned at Bills. "It's been a while now since you had the intention of destroying this planet."

"Hmph…" Bills turned away, arms folded, tail twitching. "D-Don't get the wrong idea…I'm not going to start acting friendly all of a sudden, all right?"

"Still…" Gohan said as his family rushed over, helping him to his feet, "Whis…that attack—hell, you might be almost as strong as Bills…"

"Actually," Bills murmured, clearly still embarrassed, "Whis is not just my assistant. He is also my martial arts teacher…"

"Oh!" Goku looked from one to the other. "So the real strongest in the universe is…"

"And this universe, of which I am the Hakaishin, is only one of twelve," Bills continued. "In other universes there may be still stronger fighters…"

Goku's eyes were shining. "Oh, wow…wonder if I'll ever get to see 'em someday…"

"Who knows." Whis answered lightly. "We should be going, however. Lord Bills has fought his Super Saiyan God, and your world is safe…I'm sorry for ruining your party."

Bulma, now quite unsteady on her feet after having taken to downing a glass for her nerves every time it looked like Gohan was losing, waved a finger in the pair of otherworldly visitors' general direction, slurring, "Yeah, yoou g't outt'here 'lready! 'Smy birthday…y'know?"

"…right," Eighteen sighed, gently sitting her friend down and turning back to Whis. "She does have a point. It's going to take a while to fix all this…you'd better go before she sobers up, actually, or she'll have you two doing all the repair work yourselves…"

"…right." With a cheery wave from Whis and a begrudging nod from Bills, they took off and vanished into the sky in a matter of moments (though it was discovered later that before leaving they'd made off with the entire party's supply of sushi, not to mention most of the wasabi).

There was a moment of relaxing, a collective exhalation of long-held breath, but it was only a moment—immediately afterwards, the pair of Kaioshins appeared in their midst with Kibitoshin's Instant Movement. Old Kai leapt straight at Gohan, shaking him violently by the shoulders.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Planet?!" He shrieked, before breaking away and hopping about, clutching at his head. "You ungrateful people…is this the thanks I get for all the help I've given you?!"

"Er…" Gohan nervously pointed to the halo above Old Kai's head. "Don't you only have 24 hours in the living world? I mean…are you going to use it up yelling at me?"

"Gah!" The guardian exclaimed, running back to his younger counterpart. "Let's get out of here! Back to Otherworld, post haste!"

Kibitoshin sighed, mumbling before teleporting away, "and no congratulations to him for fighting off an actual god, no, that'd be a little too much…"


As things finally began to settle down, Dende, who'd been taking a stroll and conversing with Bulma's parents and had subsequently missed almost the entire battle, was drawn into a rather awkward discussion.

"…and I'm telling you," he said defensively, backing away a step, "if it could be healed, it would've just now!"

"Well why couldn't it?" Goten demanded, pointing at Vegeta Jr. "Ever since we defused we've each been deaf in one ear!"

"I don't know!" Dende protested. "If I had to guess…I'd say that it's because my healing magic 'restores' you to your natural, uninjured state. When you defused, you transformed from one person into two completely different people—that must've been, well, set as your default state."

"Huh?" Vegeta's brow wrinkled. "You mean if we get hurt as Gogeta it's permanent? That sucks."

"Not entirely," Dende said timidly. "From what I understand, you can still heal naturally, given enough time, so any bruises or cuts will fade eventually, like normal. But Bills's hands must've been moving at a significant fraction of the speed of light when he hit you—he created a vacuum inside your ears and caused a lot of damage, permanent damage even for someone as strong as you." He shrugged. "You're kind of lucky, actually, that you're not both completely deaf after defusing—a lot of how fusion works is still a complete mystery."

"Hmm…" Vegeta paced anxiously. "What about a senzu bean? We could try a couple of those…"

"Nah," Goten replied, shaking his head. "My brother was studying those once, and I remember what he said—they speed up your body's natural healing. So that's why they can't regrow limbs and stuff like Dende can…"

"Egh, whatever!" Vegeta flung up his arms in defeat. "Damn it, this sucks!"

"Yeah, you said."

"If I see that Bills guy again…"

Other than the collective wrath of everyone with a long enough memory to trace the origins of the whole debacle descending on Break for ticking off the God of Destruction, and Zarbon and Roshi shortly joining Bulma in the artificially-induced state of mind where walking steadily and forming coherent sentences are a distant memory, nothing much else needs to be said about the remnants of the party. The battle of the gods had been the main event, and things felt sort of concluded after it was over. And since no more needs to be said about it, no more shall be said about it.


Hakaishin temple…

Bills lay back on the grass, exhausted. "That was fun…you know, those guys might one day become really fearsome opponents…"

"Hmm…" Whis agreed, staring off absent-mindedly into the distance. I briefly thought about asking that boy to become the next Hakaishin after Bills…but then, I don't think he's suited for it—to be honest, I can't imagine any of that group accepting an offer like that.

Bills yawned. "Mmm, I'm tired…how long should I rest for this time, I wonder?"

"Whatever suits you," Whis mumbled. Bills gave a curious glance upwards—his attendant was usually very particular about what the optimum amount of sleep was for his charge, but today he seemed distracted by something. Bills, however, didn't particularly care; Whis acted strange sometimes, he'd return to his normal bubbly self soon. Surely.


It is fortunate indeed that the nature of narrative storytelling allows us to go into detail with only the most interesting parts of someone's life, and conversely employ the time-honoured timeskip when nothing much happens for a considerable length of time, or at least nothing worth mentioning.

And this was indeed the case for an entire eight years. The only aliens that showed up on Earth during this time were lost and asking for directions (and speaking of alien visitors, Vegeta Jr. finally started calling home, but showed no sign of wanting to leave Earth, since nobody back home would've been able to give him a good fight—such is often the way with saiyans). Nobody tried to take over or destroy the world, or the universe for that matter. Bills slept, years ticking by like minutes for him. The Supreme Kai's education from his ancestor got underway, and he began to grow into his role as guardian of the universe for the first time.

The new generation was maturing on Earth, too. Goku in particular was enamoured of the idea that the kids should train hard in preparation for the day when their parents wouldn't be around to protect the world anymore, and this idea (which had already borne fruit in the half-saiyan children) took hold in both Pan and Marron (the latter almost lived a normal, peaceful life, but Eighteen seemed determined to prove the strength and potential an un-augmented human could attain, with enough effort).

Further Budokai Tenkaichi ('Strongest Under the Heavens') world martial arts tournaments were held; the 26th was won by Gogeta, after a number of stalling actions and what could be called 'hijinks' in order to give him enough time to fuse again before each match. After a close-fought match, however, he was defeated by Goku in the final of the 27th tournament.

A copy of Groundbreaking Science could be found in almost every home, though the dedication and effort required was too much for many; ki use occupied the same social space as going to the gym, weightlifting, martial arts and so on had always held—it made you much more physically capable, but many people get by on their mental capability alone in this modern age, and so only those looking to get in shape or expecting a fight would bother (putting serious effort into working out without adding some ki-training to the mix, as rather a pointless exercise, became almost unheard of, though). Of course, there was some difference—more people put the effort in now because, c'mon, laser beams.

The existence of aliens and magic was already common knowledge, but the specific issues of the saiyans and the Dragon Balls remained secrets; the time still did not seem to be right, and perhaps it never would be. The Dragon Balls finally went unused for a good while, though, much to Old Kai's relief—he'd always been hesitant about overusing them, or indeed using them at all.

The world tournaments, however, were undoubtedly the highlights, and not just because they provided an excuse for grand reunions. The 28th, for instance, would be remembered for a long while. By the competitors, certainly, and the international audience besides (the tournament attracted considerably more media attention in this age of superpowered martial arts), but it would be absolutely unforgettable for one particular competitor, a singular boy named Uub.


And that about wraps up Battle of the Gods. This chapter also begins a brief intermission between Battle of the Gods and Even Further Beyond that I'm terming the Postgame Saga. It'll cover this tournament and probably one other thing, set a little while after; another of those sort of passing-the-torch moments.

(Insert lame joke about some university class or something because 101, hohoho.)

My guidelines for writing god-level fights were, well, you know about the speed thing because I made it explicitly clear last chapter, but in terms of strength, I went by Dr. Slump 'rules'. So yeah, with all the cutting up planets and throwing people into moons and stuff, I just went by 'they're now as strong as Dr. Slump characters I guess'. Heresy, I know. Obviously Arale is the strongest in the universe.

Q: I have a question. What do you think going Super Saiyan did while he was using the absorbed God power? Did it boost his power or do something else entirely?

A: It boosted it closer to the level that he'd been at in Super Saiyan God.

Q: Nice chapter , i liked that you made gohan the god , i believe that raditz , goku and gohan have the ptential to be gods in the future with the proper trainig , so i suggest you that you should expand more of the story of the gods, for example you could describe all the rest of the gods and their teacher like Wills , their duties and they live in some place like soul society where you enter by a special path. You could make wills to kidnapp the kids , to make gohan , radidz and goku follow them in their god society and train(though they wouldn't need any motivation) and just like in bleach they end up saving soul society and achieve the ssj god status, (because i think there is more to it than the combined powers of 5 purehearted sjns).Just a crazy suggestion i had...

A: You know, that's a pretty cool suggestion. I do, however, have my own plans for what's going to happen next (Even Further Beyond), but it will involve the other Gods of Destruction.

Q: "I was under the impression that divine ki couldn't be measured in normal terms, and couldn't be beaten by any amount of normal ki..."

No. Remember, Bills is a god of destruction, the Kaioshin are gods of creation. So they should have godly ki. Which explains why nobody could really tell how strong Kaioshin was, and it took Piccolo to be right in front of him, and focus all his senses on him to see how strong he was. Yet Kaioshin and even Kibitoshin are completely outmatched by a SSJ2. Also, Majin Buu did not have godly ki and could still beat the Kaioshins. Absorption of the Kaioshin should give him godly ki as well, and yet, non-godly ki having folks could beat him.

Godly ki maybe a little superior to non-godly ki, but it can be surpassed even more than a little by those without it. It's just that Bills has an ungodly, or should I say godly (heh) amount of it.

A: I had a PM debate with this person, I think the Kaioshin don't have divine ki and are on a lower level of divinity to Bills, they think that as Bills' creation equivalent the Kaioshin do have divine ki. No conclusion reached, because that's how 90% of debates go; people don't like changing their points of view. Me included, of course, that's not me being condescending or anything…

Q: i have come to the conclusion that the dragon fist has to do with summoning the first ever dragon or something, he'll still be a demigod as revealed...oh, and will ssj god ever be used in the future? what about gohan's memory of the god ki? will that make a difference for him and the rest of the cast in the future? or will it turn out to be just a supremely vivid dream? XD
but seriously though, the idea of faster than light fighting and the drawbacks such as the inability to see properly was quite genius :D

A: (shrugs) Uh…not entirely wrong…not entirely right…and yes…and important…and yes…and no…and thanks.

[chapter 91 review]

Q: Hey a friend of mine wanted me to read the part about the sun, since he was confused. Now I wanted to say my bit here. You use the word supernova, yet i don't think you don't know what is means. Lets use everyone's favorite website wikipedia. The author of the page states that
"A supernova (abbreviated SN, plural SNe after "supernovae") is a stellar explosion that is more energetic than a nova. It is pronounced /ˌsuːpəˈnoʊvə/ with the plural supernovae /ˌsuːpəˈnoʊviː/ or supernovas. Supernovae are extremely luminous and cause a burst of radiation that often briefly outshines an entire galaxy, before fading from view over several weeks or months. During this interval a supernova can radiate as much energy as the Sun is expected to emit over its entire life span.[1] The explosion expels much or all of a star's material[2] at a velocity of up to 30,000 km/s (10% of the speed of light), driving a shock wave[3] into the surrounding interstellar medium. This shock wave sweeps up an expanding shell of gas and dust called a supernova remnant." (Wikipedia). The quote sun unquote Goku creates as you in the story that YOU wrote would not create a supernova. The "sun" that he created would be close to a white dwarf, which some are created after novas or supernovas. Next thing we should discuss that a supernova could create a black hole. And lets say he "can create a supernova" a supernova would drain all of his energy. Nothing would be left energy wise. Goku would be DEAD due to all of his energy being gone. I understand its fanfic about a anime. At least add some science to make it more believable for the people who understand how space and stars work. May I suggest watching COSMOS hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It is a really nice show to learn about space and the universe.

A: Er…well, that was thorough. I probably have to cede to your superior knowledge, even if your tone is a little condescending…a couple of questions, though:

Why's it have to be a white dwarf or something? Couldn't it just be the energy of a normal star compressed?

Why would it take all of Goku's energy? How do we know exactly how much energy he has? He can fly laps around the world and demolish planets with the flick of a finger.

Q: Damn, I honestly had really high hopes for this story, but it looks like it went down the drain for me. Another story that's fa boyish over Gohan and make him the strongest warrior on the planet, when he weaker then both Vegeta and Goku.

Another fanboy of Gohan who makes a good story, but a bit annoying as hell to me. I'm out, but good luck though

A: Okay, this is not applying specifically to you (and nor does it apply to most people, or even the people who do it most of the time, I'm sure I'm blowing all this way out of proportion so feel free to ignore this whole bit), but…

(deep inhalation)

…eghhhhhh. Whenever Raditz becomes the strongest, people moan at me to give other characters their turn. Whenever Goku becomes the strongest, people moan at me that it's Raditz's story and not to let him get overshadowed. Now Gohan's the strongest and (again, not just you, Ryujin Zangetsu 17, if this is your opinion that's fine) people are telling me it's too Gohan-fanboyish.

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME

(exhale)

Okay. Okay.

I'm okay. I'm fine. I…I just…I don't…next question, please.

Q: And as you command it, so the tropes shall be updated, my captain.

A: Thanks!

Q: So merry 100th review [100th chapter review, perhaps? I mean…there are a lot more than 100 reviews…], Spacey. How does it feel to be a part of the master race? Also something about your fic being 100% ten thousand awesome, but-
*abrupt scuffling*
Get out of here, Demado! No OCs or fanfic advertisement allowed in reviews. Anyways, great job on everything so far, CaptainSpace; nice job describing how superluminal motion might look and feel from both an internal and external point of view; and here's to another hundred chapters of BTtL.

A: Another hundred chapters…uh…sure…aheh…heh…heh…

(Well, who knows how long EFB will turn out to be. I mean, look at the Countdown Saga…)

Gah, I'm out of time! Uh…everybody who reviewed after this…thanks very much for your input, I have read your reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, your criticisms are noted, and I have to go now bye.