*Disclaimer: I do not own A Series Of Unfortunate Events. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this. I also do not own Marine Land. (Thank Goodness. That song pisses me off.)*
"Klaus!" said Violet.
Klaus looked up from the book he was reading, "Yes Violet?"
His sister beamed at him, "We just got an invitation to the annual VFD picnic! Isn't that wonderful!"
"Kufalo." agreed Sunny.
"Well what are we waiting for," said Violet, "Let's go!"
She grabbed her siblings arms and dragged them out the door, where a city transit bus just pulled up.
"Why is she so excited?" Klaus asked Sunny, "It's just a picnic."
"Gabagi." replied Sunny, which meant something along the lines of, "Because she gets to see QUIGLEY."
The two of them broke out into a fit of giggles as Violet pulled them onto the bus. Suddenly, a pair of sweaty hands clasped themselves around Klaus' ankle.
"Don't go!" wailed a childish voice.
Klaus looked behind him and saw no other than Count Olaf, who seemed to have banged something extremely hard on his head.
"Klaus, come on!" said Violet as she yanked on Klaus' arm.
"Don't go!" wailed Olaf as he pulled on Klaus' ankle.
Klaus winced as his sister and the villian played Tug-A-War with his arm and ankle, and was quite thankful when Violet spotted Quigley at the back of the bus.
"Quigley!" she squealed, letting go of Klaus in the process.
Klaus tumbled out of the bus wincing as he hit the pavement. The doors on the bus closed and the transit bus rumbled down the road towards a hill in the distance, where Klaus assumed must be the location of the VFD picnic.
Olaf beamed at Klaus. "Guess we'll have to walk then FRIEND." he said in his babyish voice, stretching the word 'friend'.
Klaus face palmed himself.
"Come along then you annoying little twerp."
After only a minute of walking, Klaus had just about enough of this new, harmless, painfully annoying version of Olaf.
"Klaus!" Olaf whined.
Klaus groaned. "What now, Olaf."
"I want a cookie!"
"But..." he began, "Ugg, fine."
Klaus reached into his pocket to pull out an oatmeal cookie he had been saving for later, when his hand brushed against something, well, papery.
He pulled out the paper and skimmed over the words. As he read, a slow smile spread across his face as he recognized the coded writing of his former guardian.
"This is Aunt Josephine's note! I can't believe it survived this long!"
When he reached the bottom of the note, however, he noticed a few messy words scribbled in the bottom left corner that were not there before.
They read: Hey Aunt Jo,
Go jump out a window!
"Who the hell wrote this!" roared Klaus.
Olaf quickly slapped his hands over his ears.
"You shouldn't be swearing in front of little children you know." he pouted.
Klaus glared at Olaf.
"Did you write this?!" he asked menacingly.
"So what if I did," Olaf replied, "Your friend Isadora isn't the only one who can write couplets."
"You call THAT a couplet!" Klaus yelled.
"It rhymes doesn't it?" huffed Olaf.
Klaus began walking again, muttering to himself in frustration. Olaf skipped behind him, randomly wandering off to chase a butterfly or to tie his shoe for the millionth time.
"Klaus!" whined Olaf again.
Klaus winced and decided to try ignoring him.
"KLAUS!" whined Olaf.
Okay, this isn't working.
"WHAT?!" yelled Klaus.
"You never gave me a cookie." pouted Olaf.
Klaus pulled out the cookie and gave it to Olaf. Olaf eyed it suspiciously.
"What kind is it?"
Klaus looked at him questioningly. "Oatmeal, why?"
Suddenly, Olaf screamed and chucked the cookie as far as he could throw it, which wasn't very far.
"What did you do that for!?" asked Klaus.
Olaf looked at him in fear. "I can't eat anything starting with the letter O because my name starts with O and if I eat anything starting with the same letter as my name it's like I'm eating myself!"
Klaus stared at him blankly.
"You are one strange person."
Finally, Klaus and Olaf reached the hill where the VFD picnic was taking place. Violet and Sunny ran over to Klaus with a plate of peppermints.
"Hey Klaus!" they said, "Wanna peppermint?"
Klaus jumped back in fear.
"What are you doing with those? All three of us are allergic to those!"
"Correction," Voilet and Sunny said, each popping one into their mouth, "You're allergic to them."
Klaus scowled and looked away in annoyance, then he noticed that Olaf wasn't there.
"Oh crap! Where did he go now!"
Suddenly, Olaf came riding towards them on a dolphin. It jumped into the air as Olaf opened his mouth and sang: "Everyone loves Marine Land!"
Klaus sank to the ground in futile position and began to weep softly as the rest of the picnickers stared in awe at the fireworks that were erupting out of a birthday hat on the dolphin's head.