Okay, let's give Klaus a little break. Now let's pick on Lemony Snicket! Mwahahaha!
Disclaimer: I do not own ASOUE.
Olaf wandered away from a gagging Klaus over to the one and only Lemony Snicket. And when I say "only" I really mean "only". Seriously, who else would name their kid Lemony? Did his parents WANT him to get beat up?
Lemony looked down at Olaf and smiled.
"Hello again Olaf!" he said, "My, you really need a haircut, and I bet your teeth aren't much better."
Olaf's hands flew to his head.
Never!" he screamed, "I will never cut my hair! I want to be Rapunzel!"
Lemony looked him strangely.
"You are much different than I wrote you in my book." he said.
Olaf beamed. "I in book?"
"Yeah" said Lemony.
Olaf whipped his stringy hair. "I is fatabulus!" he shrieked.
Lemony backed away slowly.
"Can I see book?" asked Olaf.
"Uh, sure." said Lemony, throwing him the book.
Olaf crawled over to the book and read the cover. He looked at the cover and attempted to read Lemony's name.
"You are Lemonhead." said Olaf.
"No, my name is Lemon-"
"Nade" finished Olaf.
"NO!" screamed Lemony in frustration, "My name is LEMONY SNICKET!"
"Oh..." said Olaf, "I knew that."
Lemony faced palmed himself.
Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain on his left ankle.
"OW!" yelled Lemony.
He looked down to see Olaf biting his ankle. Lemony yanked his ankle away from Olaf's sharp teeth.
"What did you do that for?!" said Lemony while massaging his ankle.
Olaf looked at him as if it was obvious.
"Well, your name is Lemony, so I figured that you must taste like lemons."
Lemony ran away screaming and Olaf followed him. At the same time, Violet was running towards Lemony with his typewriter in her hands.
"Mr. Snicket! I fixed your typewriter for you!" she said cheerily.
"Oh, thank you very much Violet" he said, not knowing that Olaf had followed him.
"MR. SNICKET!" squealed Olaf.
Lemony jumped, screaming like a little girl, and hid behind Violet.
"What do you want?" he asked nervously.
Olaf held out the book.
"I finished." he said.
Lemony stared at him. "How could you have finished that book already?"
"Simple," said Olaf, "It says "The End" right on the cover, and "The End" means that the story is finished."
"Let me see that." said Violet. She flipped through the book, then stopped at a page near the end.
"What the hell!" yelled Violet angrily, "I was almost named Lemony?!"
She turned to Lemony Snicket and held the book up to his face.
"Is this true?!" she asked menacingly.
"Yes." squeaked Lemony.
With a roar louder than Fiona's, Violet lifted the typewriter and brought it crashing down on Lemony's head.
Olaf, with his short attention span, wandered back towards the picnic table where Sunny was just about to serve dinner.