The Panty Incident

I hummed a song that was stuck in my head for some odd reason; it was a bit annoying since I didn't even like it. The first time I heard it was through Shizu-chan, who fell asleep on the sofa leaving the television open, waiting for me to finish my work. The stupid song was playing on the screen; I had the urge to turn it off but got distracted at the announcement of how popular it was at the bottom of the screen, in the end I listened to all of it and got it stuck in my head, I blame Shizu-chan. It was still morning and Shizu-chan had left already for work leaving me in our new apartment. I had nothing to do so I ended up cleaning a bit around the bedroom, wiping every corner no matter how it appeared clean and spotless, making a circular pattern with the cloth and remembering that stupid song.

Ugh, that's it. I'm going to make him listen to it once he comes home. Stupid Shizu-chan, leaving the television turned on. I complained as my wiping got rougher, I was cleaning the floor at the corner of the bedroom drawer. Thanks to my anger I bump my hand on the edge of the drawer, pulling it back quickly and hissing at the pain, stopping myself from cursing. Geez... first the song and now my hand is starting to turn red. I slowly tried to stand up, stopping when I noticed something pink behind the drawer. It must have fallen there when I bumped on the drawer, moving it a bit. I reach for the pink object and tried to pull it out. It was stuck, I grunt and grabbed the edge of the drawer, pulling it to unstick the object. To my surprise, I see a paper bag, a violet one, the pink object was sticking out of the bag. I pull the drawer more and the paper bag falls to the floor, spilling its contents. My eyes widen at the sight.

"Coming! Coming!" I hear my friend rush, his footsteps quickly getting louder as he came nearer to opening the door. He opens it and I rush in, ignoring his greeting. "Eh? Izaya? Something wrong? Oh, is that a present?" He asked, eyeing the violet paper bag that I had, making me grip its string handles. "Oh wait... Izaya is that your luggage outside?" He finally notices I motion my hand to order him to bring them in, he complies, idiotic worried expression stuck in his face. "Are... are you going somewhere?" He asked as we walked to the living room.

"No..." I say as a whisper I see Celty entering the living room where I stood in front of the coffee table. I started shaking, involuntarily, I couldn't stop it. I bit my lips suppressing the sound I didn't want to get out as much as possible. Pathetically failing, lightly throwing the paper bag to fall on the coffee table, showing off what was inside I bring my hands to cover my face and whimper "Shizu-chan's cheating on meeeee." After the revelation I let my body fall to the sofa behind me and brought my knees up to cover myself more as I let out my tears.

I hear Shinra panic, signaling Celty something I didn't bother to know. I hear footsteps leaving, he probably ordered Celty to grab some tissues or something. Geez, why won't these stupid tears just stop already? "Izaya, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this" he tried; I push back my hand revealing my pathetic crying face to him. For some reason he snorted, smiling and blushed a bit, adding to my anger, was he thinking that I was acting childish now? I snap and stood up quickly pointing at the objects on the table.

"What misunderstanding? I found these hidden! He was hiding them and I'm not stupid enough to think he wears them! He definitely has someone else!" I yelled, making Shinra raise his hands in defense. I grabbed one of the objects, specifically the frilliest and revealing one and stretch it out for him to properly see. "These are panties, Shinra! Neither of us needs them! He's a freaking perverted cheater stupid lousy monster that has no brain! I knew it wouldn't work from the start! Geez, that big idiot!" I cry dropping the panty on the floor and kneeling to rest my head on Shinra's knees who flinches and rubs my back. "Of course he'd prefer a woman..." I muttered enough for him to hear my voice. "...he was originally straight. It's amazing he was even able to do it with me. He must have thought, Ah, a woman is a lot better than this skinny idiot, softer and cuter and has more curves and... *hic* he said he loved me..." I cry.

"Now, now..." he comforted, now unsure of what to say anymore. "Stupid Shizuo, stupid me for thinking we could even last a year, stupid me for believing in a brute like him" Stupid stupid stupid... I was a complete fool... it hurts, it really hurts... to think after all we've through was for nothing what if... my cry gets louder as the thought crossed my mind. "What if he really did love me but started to dislike me because I sucked at bed!" Shinra releases a snort and I bit his thigh, hard. "Owww!" He screams, did he think I was joking? Come to think of it, all I do is lay down the bed and moan and flinch and stuff, he must have gotten tired of doing everything by himself... but, no... That's still not enough a reason to cheat... right? Or are girls really better, he must be doing it with that Vorona. To think I gave my precious virginity to a cheater like him, I'll freaking castrate him with my own knife. My tears stop as my grief turned to anger; I swore Shinra could see the sinister aura coming out from me.

"Well, for now! Until I find a new place, I'll be staying here… I'm sure he wouldn't bother to look for me anyway~ seeing as how tired he is of me~! Who needs him? She can have him! I don't care" I yell angrily, gritting my teeth as I stared at the scandalous objects at the coffee table. "No… He'll definitely look for you…" Shinra added. "Are you taking his side?" my eyes darken cause of the urge to kill as I held my knife, pointing it at Shinra, its sharp tip glinting at the doctor. "I… Celty?" he calls as I approached him.

Our heads turn when we heard a loud thud. Sound of shoes hitting the floor and fast footsteps getting louder. My tear stained face became paler when my eyes saw the bleached blond hair appearing from the entrance of the living room. Immediately thinking I might break down in front of the cheater, I try to rush to the veranda and try to escape. My movement halts, my hand mere centimeters away from the veranda's door, he caught me.

"Shinra, sorry… I'm borrowing the bedroom." I heard the brute ask ignoring my curses and protest for carrying me like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. I kicked his front and punched his back as much as I can; cursing the fact I dropped my blade on the floor when he lifted me up. Tears started to form in my eyes again, thinking… is this the part he confess and break up with me? Well, let him try! I'll do it first! And since he's at fault I'll make him my slave… which means I have to face him… ugh, *hic* tears start to fall through my checks again. Damn this brute for making it hard to hate him now… after loving him so much… damn it…

I stop my tantrum, no, it's not like I forgive him… it appeared like a waste of energy. Yes, he's waste of energy, worthless idiot. He gently placed me on the end of the bed in a sitting position, stupid gentle arms, stupid face. He kneels in front of me and faces me, stupid disgusting handsome face. "Izaya… let me explain first." He starts; I turn my head to the left with a huff, squinting my eyes to stop the tears. "I'm not cheating on you…"

"Lies" I bite back.

He sighs, was he acting exhausted? He doesn't have any right to be! I open my mouth to yell at him, not even letting one word out he interrupts.

"The panties… were for you"

I gawk, tears finally stopped. There was an awkward silence in the room, my eyes were wide and my mouth remained open while he was staring at me, slightly blushing. This… judging by his previous actions… and Erika-cha's influence… after the time he saw the cosplay… and toys.

"You… YOU…" I clenched my hands, gripping the bed sheet I stand up quickly, making him fall on his stupid ass since he was kneeling too near me. "STUPID PERVERT!" I yell, covering him with the bed sheet and throwing the pillows at him. When I lost ammo, I started kicking him; he was now wrapped in the bed sheet due to rolling around trying to grab my feet. I hear him chuckling and the redness of my cheeks increased if they still can. I continue to kick him till I ran out of breath. Panting I added "I was seriously worried for nothing! I thought you were sleeping with someone else! That I wasn't good enough! That you were tired of me or never really loved me! You stupid brute! PUNISHMENT~!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, getting mad cause of such a stupid reason, I couldn't let him see my face now. Before he was able to get out of the bed sheet, I race outside the bedroom and ignored Celty and Shinra, rushing outside, hearing the footsteps behind me. Stupid Shizu-chan.

Author: Just a little oneshot~ hope you all liked~! Reviews are loved and makes me grin... evilly aha
Oneshot mentioned in The Dullahan's Groom, please feel free to read it or not read it though I preferred if you'd read it aha