"That's IT Sammy! I've HAD it!" Darren exploded. "God knows I love you. I wouldn't have stayed this long if not for how much I love you and the kids, but I can't do this anymore."
"What are you saying Darren?"
"I'm saying I want out. Being turned into a jackass every other week, the neighbourhood thinking we are from mars, your cousin, your aunt and by god your MOTHER! I'm done. You can keep the house. I'm transferring to the new office in London. I'm even changing my name. Goodbye Sam.
19 years later
Mr Darren Dursley finds himself married to the most dull housewife with two new children who have been taught to despise anything abnormal. Darren has schooled them well. Marjorie has taken an interest in bulldogs and Vernon has gotten an internship in a respectable company that makes drills.
Vernon has also started dating a young woman, Petunia Evans.
One day Darren receives a letter from a particularly unwelcome source.
I've held up my end of the bargain. No contact, new identity, job transfer and a thorough background check of your new wife. You held up yours by leaving my daughter. This will be the last time you here from your witch of an ex-mother-in-law. Do enjoy your plain and utterly boring family.
PS - It might interest you to know your son is dating the sister of a witch
Darren was found dead of a heart attack by his son who concluded from the letter that his father was killed by those Vernon would come to know as freaks