Disclaimer: DEBS property of Angela Robinson and Sony Pictures. Just a little fun romp and an attempt at action sequences.

One More For the Road
by Athena (aka Larceny at All Things DEBS)

"You asked me what I wanted for Christmas. This is it."

"Lucy, please don't do this." Amy followed her to the closet. She grabbed her girlfriend's arms and turned her around. "I thought we made a deal when you said goodbye to your old life?"

"Just one more, honey, pleeeeaaase?" Lucy gave her best puppy dog face and clasped her hands in supplication. "Then after this, no more, I promise."

"I can't let you go through with this." Amy crossed her arms. "You can do or have something else, but not this."

"Oh, come onnn. It'll be my last ticket to my old life. Consider it closure and stuff. One more for the road and then sayonara."

"What if you get caught, huh? What then?" Blonde brows furrowed.

"I won't get caught. I never get caught. Even if, hypothetically, I did, I'm too sneaky and fast, they'd never even know they had me." Lucy wrapped her arms around Amy's waist and gave her the most disarming, dazzling smile in her charm arsenal, the one she knew that Amy could never resist, no matter what. (She was quite shocked that not all of her smiles actually worked on her. All of them seemed to work flawlessly on women she'd ever seduced in the past.) She purred and cooed as she inched closer to the blonde, "I won't be gone too long. I'll be back even before you know it."

Amy knew that when Lucy made her mind up about something, there was no backing down. As stubborn as her girlfriend was, the goody-two-shoes in her couldn't help but try to persuade the 'reforming ex-thief' to change her mind.

If you can't beat 'em...

She felt herself melting against Lucy. It was so unfair how this woman could just get away with highway robbery, if she wanted, simply by standing there and being so adorable. She wouldn't be surprised if she had ever walked into a highly-secured museum in broad daylight and sweet-talked an innocent curator to just hand over a national treasure, then walked out whistling, merry as could be, and left said curator with his/her head spinning, blinded by a Diamond smile so few had ever seen. A smile which now graced her lover's face. A smile especially reserved just for her.

Her frown smoothed and her eyelids turned hooded. Her mouth curled and her lips pouted in that way that made Lucy want to grab her and kiss her madly every time, which was exactly what Lucy was about to do the minute her arms slid around the little devil's neck. But before Lucy could do just that, Amy leaned back and said in a low voice, "So if I let you do this, I get anything I want for Christmas, too, right?"

"You betcha." Lucy waggled her brows and pressed herself closer.

"Mmm." Amy leaned in to her ear and murmured, "I do like it when you're all dressed up in your sleek... snug... black ensemble. Rowwwrrrrr."

Lucy grinned as Amy's lips finally claimed her own, and moaned into her mouth. "You like that, huh?"

"Uh-huuuh." Amy nibbled down her neck. "Mmm, you smell so gooood."

"Just for you, baby." Lucy brought her face up and kissed her some more, a kiss that burned and blazed as she backed Amy towards their bed. Lucy lay her down and crawled on top of her. "Is this what you wanted for Christmas, hmm?"

Amy chuckled. "Of course, it goes without saying, but I want something really exciting to go along with it."

"Oh?" Lucy started to unbutton Amy's top with her teeth. "Like what?"

"I was thinking... that, uh..." Thinking at that very moment was getting a little too difficult, what with Lucy's lips and tongue doing the things they were doing. Naughty. Wicked. Unspeakable things. "Ohhh, I like it when you do that."


"Yeahhhhhhh." Amy hissed. "And when you do thaaaaat. Mmmmnnnnnnn."

"Mmph. What else do you like, sexy?"

"That I get to come—"

"Now that goes without saying."

"—along with you on your mission."

"What?!" Lucy stopped whatever she was doing and crawled up to face Amy. "I never said anything about... You said I could go on my—"

"You begged and I didn't say yes."


"You go on one condition." Amy pushed herself up on her elbows. "I get to pick your mission—"

Lucy's jaw dropped. "What?"

"—and I get to come with you."

"But-but honey!"

"Don't 'honey' me! That's my bottom line. Take it or leave it."

"Fine." Lucy pouted. It didn't last very long, though. "But only if I get to finish this job that you started."


A few nights later...

Lucy crouched in the darkness. She felt good to be back in black, reliving the highs of her good old cat burgling days, or nights, as it were. She never really cared for the bank robberies and other questionable dealings her family was involved in. She had people for that. Her passion was for single-handed diamond heists-the more intricate, the more dangerous, the more chances of getting caught, the better. The thrills of victory paid off higher in the end that way. At least that was what the younger Lucy thought. As she got older she realized that such things were too time consuming and even reckless, and getting caught should be kept to a minimum. So she learned to be quite the strategist, with Scud as her right hand man guiding her through private communications in the cloak of night. In this case she had Amy as her guide, literally. She wondered briefly whether she should be flattered or annoyed by Amy's over-protectiveness. She was amazed Amy even agreed to let her go on this mission. Then again, the blonde bombshell did plan the whole thing. Still, there was always room for improvisation, and she'd milk that for all it was worth as long as it didn't jeopardize the mission.

Her earpiece crackled into life.

"Tell me again why you feel the need to make such a dramatic entrance?" Amy inquired as she waited in the custom surveillance van parked several blocks away.

"Because it's more fun this way, dear." Lucy shook her head. That's what I get for dating a goody-two-shoes. Can't appreciate the finer points of sneakery.

"Did you do this with all your jobs? Skulk about on rooftops?"

"I don't skulk. I slither. It's sexier."

"Oh, reallllly?"

Her skin tingled at Amy's throaty chuckle. Thoughts of her girlfriend doing naughty things in the van by herself flashed in her mind.

"Woman, stop distracting me!" Sensing raised eyebrows at the other end of the line, Lucy added, "Sorry. Pretty please? With me on top?"

"I'll hold you to that."

"You bet your sexy ass. Over and out."

Lucy calculated the distance between where she was and the edge of the next rooftop. She backed up then made a running start. She leaped in mid-air, somersaulted, and landed with a roll. She repeated this from one rooftop to the next. She ran and jumped up to a wall and vaulted over the next platform, and crawled up or slid down columns. Between two narrow walls of adjacent buildings, she ran up against one, leaped to the other wall, and jumped back and forth till she reached the top. She missed doing stunts like these where she felt like a cross between a high-class acrobat and a ninja. Her gymnastics and martial arts training couldn't be wasted now, could they?

"Are you there yet?"

"Ack!" Lucy held on tight to a ledge. "I almost fell!"

"Whatever. Hurry up already!"

"I'm serious! I could have plummeted to my death here. Don't contact me till I report till the next checkpoint."

"Why can't you just do a Batman and propel yourself up with some high-tech gadjet? I know you packed something, admit it."

"Yeah, well, I gotta have my jollies the old-fashioned way, too, you know. Over and out."

Lucy prowled with glee when she finally reached the target building on the corner of 5th Avenue and 38th Street in New York City. She sidled effortlessly along a narrow ledge, took out her grappling gun and aimed upward. She fired the gun and—certain it landed securely up above—pushed a button and held on tight as she was launched past numerous floors. Landing smoothly with a roll, she surveyed the area and listened intently for any signs of life.

"Checkpoint 3 is clear," Lucy murmured.

"Copy that," replied Amy, who barely repressed a yawn.

"Heyyy, pay attention."

"I'm bored. How much longer is this gonna take?"

Lucy rolled her eyes and sighed. "I never should have let you talk me into having you tag along. I told you I'd be fine on my own, or with Scud as usual."

"Do you want your prize or not?"

"Fine. Over and out."

She pushed another button. The grappling hook folded and retreated, then she stored the handy device away. She treaded carefully against the wall, rounded a corner, and sneaked a peak. Seeing that it was safe, she ran towards a ladder and hoisted herself up a few feet to catch the first rung, then proceeded to climb up and over the wall. She crouched by the door handle at the building entrance and checked for alarms and booby traps before working on the door lock. It gave under her expert touch. She opened the door slowly just wide enough to insert a smallcamera tube.

"Alright, Peeper is in. Do you detect anyone inside?"

"No, but there are two cameras: one to the left of the door and another to the right. I'll tell you when to go."

Lucy put away the gadgets and poised for Amy's greenlight.

"Get ready... and... now..." Lucy rolled away from the first camera. "... Now." Lucy sidestepped the second camera.

The two continued to coordinate their efforts so that Lucy evaded more cameras, as well as the guards on duty that night. Eventually Lucy reached her final target destination. She hacked into a computer and retrieved the data she needed.

"Amy, you could have at least picked a place with more obstacles than this. Heavily guarded with laser lights and everything. Not even a Mission Impossible hanging down from the ceiling thing? And why couldn't I shoot tranquilizer darts at the guards anyway? This is too freakin' easy!"

"Hey, it's not like I stage elaborate heists on a regular basis, Miss Bad Ass Ex-Master Criminal."

"Why couldn't I have helped plan it? Or Scud for that matter?"

"Quit your whining and get on with it so we can get out of here and move on to Phase 2."

"Alright, alright! I'm on my way back, sheesh," Lucy said, then mumbled, "Such a slave driver..."


The following evening, in a remote town outside of Manhattan, Lucy crept inside a two-story building in the dim light. She made sure not to run into any obstructions that would trigger any alarm systems, which wasn't too difficult with tiny Christmas lights paving the way. Go figure.

"Where's Santa?" a tiny voice asked from behind her.

Lucy nearly tripped and crashed into a Christmas tree. Fortunately she stopped herself just in time and spun around to face a little girl with huge hazel eyes and long, curly, dark brown hair. She might have been five years old. Maybe six.

"Jesus!" Lucy muttered, eyes wide, her hand to her chest. "Um... he's on his way. What are you doing up late, little girl?"

"I'm waiting for Santa." The girl blinked at her in earnest. "Are you his helper?"

Lucy's eyes rolled to the side, her mouth agape, before looking back at her and answering, "Sure. Yeah."

Her earpiece crackled to the sound of snickering. "She sounds so cute! So much for being sneaky."

"Oh, shut up, Amy," she muttered.

The little girl tugged on her shirt. "How come you're wearing black?"

"Excuse me?"

"Santa's helpers wear green and red, you know."

"Oh. Right... Those are still in the washer, see."

The little girl squinted up at her. "You're tall for a helper. And skinny."

"Thanks. I think..."

"I thought helpers are short and plump?"

"I'm a temp."

"What's a temp?"

"Temporary helper. Anyway, these are for you." Lucy handed her several boxes wrapped in a bow.

"Girl Scout cookies! You don't look like a girl scout."

"Er, no, but I'm also making a delivery for them."

"Oh. Gee, thanks!"

"You're welcome, but you can't open them till tomorrow. Well, little miss, it's time for me to go." Lucy turned, but added at the last minute, "Santa's coming, so you better get back to bed before he gets here."

"Okay!" The girl put the cookie boxes under the tree, then shuffled back upstairs.


"Thank God that's over." Lucy blew her bangs away from her face as she slid into the van. She scowled at her girlfriend, who held a hand over her mouth, trying to control her giggles. "I can't believe you made me do this!"

Amy burst into laughter at the appalled look on Lucy's face. "I'm sorry, but that was just too funny!"

"Gee," said Lucy, "I'm glad one of us is enjoying this."

"'I wont get caught, I never get caught!'" Amy said with a nasal voice.

"I was expecting to do a heist, not 'borrow' the addresses of cookie order customers to make special deliveries." Lucy glared at her.

"Hey, you're the one who owes the Girl Scouts of America. Why did you steal from them in the first place?"

Lucy's lips pressed into a thin line. "Because those little monsters cheated us on our cookie orders."

"They're little girls, Luce!"

"Still! They did it for years. We would not get our cookies, or if we did, they were late, or not the original number of boxes we asked for. There was always something."

"So you decided to rob them?!"

Lucy shrugged. "The payback wasn't my idea. One of my henchmen thought it was funny at the time. I just wanted my damn mint cookies! I guess it got out of hand and I completely forgot all about it."

Amy snorted. "That's an understatement." She looked over her shoulder. "Well, we still have several more houses to go before we call it a night."

"But Amyyyyy!" Lucy pouted.

"If you're a good girl, you get an extra, extra special present from me this Christmas eve." Amy smiled and toyed with the zipper of Lucy's winter coat, and fingered the skin between the opening of her shirt.

"Oh yeah?" Lucy's lips twitched upward. She grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her close. "Do I get a preview?"

"Uh-uh. First you need to finish the job," Amy replied even as she straddled Lucy, a wicked glint in her eye.

"How about I start a different mission and finish that, hmm?" Lucy drew her in and nibbled on her neck.

"Are you saying you're pretty much done with your last heist?"

Lucy leaned back and gaped at her. "You're calling that a heist? Pssh! That's the last time I'm letting you call the shots and choose my missions."

"This is the last time and the last mission!"

"You're so hot when you're angry." Lucy planted a lingering kiss on her lover's luscious lips. "So how about we call it a draw and forget about delivering these stupid Girl Scout cookies?"

"There's still a ton of them. You bought way too much, remember?"

"So? I'll have my boys take them to orphanages and homeless shelters tomorrow. There, are you happy?"

"Mmm, I like the way your mind works." Amy played with dark locks. "So that's it? You're sure you're done? No more heists and stuff?"

"Honestly it's the thrill of the chase that I missed most. Thank you for letting me have it one more time, even if my legendary last heist happened in the Girl Scouts of America Headquarters." Lucy rolled her eyes. Amy stuck her tongue out at her. "But I have to say I really enjoyed having you cover me."

"You don't need to pull a heist for me to cover you, baby." Amy leered at her.

Lucy purred, "You're right about that."

"So you slither, huh?" Amy scooted closer and wrapped her arms around Lucy's neck, her lips hovering just a few millimeters away.

"Mmm-hmm. Want a demonstration?" Lucy grinned from ear to ear, angling her head toward her lover's. "There's still some room in the back, right?"

"I thought you'd never ask."


First posted on Dec. 2007 at All Things DEBS forum yuku . com

Inspired partly by the music montage where Scud returns Lucy's loot electronically. One of the accounts was for the Girl Scouts of America. Now here's some of the wall jumping and free running stunts I had in mind for Lucy.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!