Derek grinds his teeth the entire ride home. He hated Hotch. He hated Hotch more than he hated Buford. He gets home and sees Spencer and Jack making dinner together. He walks into the kitchen with a smile. "Whatever that is, it smells delicious," Derek tells them. The soup they were making looked like a science experiment gone wrong.
"It's a recipe passed down from my mother," Spencer tells him. He wraps his arms around Spencer in a tight hug. "I'm really happy to see you," he tells him. Spencer frowns. "Did something happen today?"
Derek nods and leans his head on Spencer's shoulder. "I was made permanent head of the BAU. However, Hotch made bail and he's now taking my old position," he tells him. Jack gasps. "Daddy is out? WHat if he comes back to hurt Spencer again?" Spencer grabs the boy. "He won't. Your daddy knows better," Spencer tries to soothe.
Derek pets the boy. "I talked to him. He's going to stay away from you two for a whle. He has to go to a special doctor that will make him less angry. When he's done, then he can talk to you." Spencer is surprised. He'd promised to go, but he didn't think he would. "Is it mandatory?" He questions. Derek shakes his head. "He wants to be able to see you. He wants to know what is wrong with him, because he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you."
Spencer bites his lip. "I miss him," he admits. Derek sighs. "So do I, pretty boy."
Hotch sits in his house and combats the voice in his head that tells him to drink. According to his anger management program he was not allowed to drink. He misses his lover and his son. He would love nothing more than to make dinner for his family, watch a movie together, tuck his son in and make love to his lover before falling asleep with the younger man in his arms.
He pulls out his phone and calls Spencer. After the third ring he answers. "Reid," he answers in a business tone, though he'd been fired. "Spencer, it's Aaron," Hotch tells him. "If you don't want ot talk, you can hang up.I just miss you..." Hotch tells him. "I... I'm still here," Spencer says. "How have you been? And how's Jack?" He can hear Spencer biting his lip.
"We're alright. Jack has been a little closed-up, but it's nothing I didn't expect after what he went through." Aaron feels the guilt run deep. "I am so sorry Spencer. I can't believe I did those things to you. I started anger management, just like I said," he tells Spencer.
"I heard. They fired me," Spencer responds. "I heard. I uhm... Do you mind keeping Jack? At least until after I finish my therapy?" Aaron asks. "He's my son too. Of course I don't mind having him. I hope you don't expect me to just give him back. I will fight you to every courtroom that lets us in!" Spencer shouts. Aaron winces.
"No, no. I won't. I want to be able to see him Spencer... But after what you went through, and I know you did it to stay with him, I could never take him from you. I just want to be able to see him. And I don't want you to feel like he's a burden."
Spencer has an intense wish to touch the man he used to sleep with every night. "Maybe... If you finish anger management... You can see him. Us. You can see us," he says. "Spencer, I would love to see you. But, could you ever forgive me enough to love me again?" He asks. He feels near tears. "I never stopped loving you, Aaron. I just know better.I don't want to be abused. If I hadn't tried to leave- If I hadn't gotten help, you would have ended up killing me. Whether you meant to or not."
"I'm changing. I promise I am. When I finish, is there a chance?' Aaron pleads. Spencer wipes his eyes. Derek has noticed his face and wraps his arms around him before taking the phone. Spencer is crying into his shirt. "Tell him... Tell him I will just have to see.I have to know he's changed,"Spencer whimpers. "Did you get that?" Derek asks with a level voice. "Yes... I'm sorry," He tells Derek. He hangs the phone up and holds the sobbing man.
He tries to maintain a professional demeanor. Hotch is at his door first thing in the morning. "I just wanted to make sure that this isn't going to be too hard for you. If you don't think you'll be able to have me on the team, whether it's simply because you hate me or otherwise, just let me know. I have no problem switching teams. You don't deserve to be stuck with me."
Derek sighs. "I am upset with you on an unprofessional level. Professionally- I know you can do your job better than anyone else. I want you here for the good of the people that need us. But if you abuse my kindness, or if you go after my best friend again I won't be so nice."
Derek had wanted to tell him to just go. They didn't need him- but he could tell Hotch was trying. This had been a humbling experience for the older man. He wasn't a blinker, so to have him be the one to apologize first, when it wasn't professionally needed meant that he letting go of that ego and dominance and trying to be human. Derek guessed that was about all they could ask for at this point.