This masterpiece was written by a semi-intelligent person having a very unintelligent day. You WILL be offended.
Prepare your anus cause y'all is about to be mindfucked.
I don't write disclaimers cause I'm cool like that, but I don't own shit.
READ THE WARNING SO YOU DON'T MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF: Shitty grammar, abuse of caps lock, racism, sex, language, gingers, and a shitload of other offensive stuff.
Enjoy my bitches.
It was a regular day in Ching Chong ling long, The land of the sexy Asian men who were gay. It was also Saturday, which meant it was the official B1A4 orgy day. As such, everyone was busy getting their itty bitty erections ready for the par-tay. Kiku Honda was, as usual, sitting in his room doing SOMETHING homosexual, when suddenly a man who looked like he SHOULD have a vaginal opening came sexily swaggering in.
"KIKU ARU! I WANT TO GO TO JAPAN TOWN, BUY AN EXTRA SMALL SUSHI ROLL, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR SWEET ANUS HOLE!"
"OH YAO!" Kiku cried, ripping off his lacy pink thong and revealing an extra, extra, extra, exxxxxtra small penis, in fact, it wasn't even a penis, it was a CLITORIS! But there was no vagina there!
"Kiku!" Yao gasped. "Are you...a FEMALE?" Yao would have hated it if he was, because Yao only liked dick. He just wanted to suck it all night rong... But anyways. Kiku looked offended. "Of course not! I'm simply Asian!" Yao did a facepalm. "DUUUH! What the desu konichiwa was I thinking?" Kiku shrugged. "I don't know! Now pull down your pantaloons and show me that size triple 0 penis of yours!" indeed, he ripped of he's pants and...
His ERECTION was AVERAGE sized!
"KYAAAAAAA!" Kiku screamed, sounding very Japanese indeed. "YAO! Your penis...it's NOT an extra small sushi roll! It's a MEDIUM sushi roll! What happened to our Asian pride? To your FEMENINE ATTRABUTES?!"
Yao was quite embarrassed of his not small penis. So he ran to the girls bathroom and cried all night long, mascara running down his face. And by all night long I mean about 42 seconds, but due to his despair and his dick size it sure felt like all night. But then Kiku came dashing in a d yelling, "IT'S OKAY, YAO! MY TINY PINK BUTTHOLE CAN HANDRE IIT! I JUST WANT YOUR STICKY RICE INSIDE MY CHERRY BLOSSOM DANGO!"
Yao could only imagine the lovely, squeaky noises his lover would make. Forget foreplay, they were just about to get it on when suddenly...
"YOU BATCH HOLE! I WON'T DRINK IT!"
Just like that, a beautiful man (what was with all the men in the ladies room?) tumbled in. He looked about 15, was about 5'7, and probably weight like, fucking EIGHTY POUNDS. he was SUPA DUPA good looking, and also really gay. He had choppy, somewhat emo hair, which perfectly framed his pale, lightly freckled face, and his eyes were huge and dark, like a black womans nipples. BTW his hair was RED. Naturally. That bitch has no soul. Either way, he was an instant turn on to the two gaysians fucking in the sink.
The ginger bolted into the big stall in the corner, the one where no one can see your feet. Right after him, ANOTHER flaming homo ran in! This man wasn't so hot, but he was fab. He was short, a tad bit chubby, and also Arabian. He was was wearing a nurses outfit and was fuckin sexy in his own way.
"Is that a habeeb?" Yao whispered to Kiku. Indeed, the man was a total habeeb.
"OH HONAY!" Habeeb cried, a thick middle eastern accent coating his wonderfully gay voice. "YOU NEVER FINISHED YOU LAST ALMOND! NOW YOU GOTTA DRINK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF ENSURE PLUS!"
"NOOOOOO!" the ginger, who's name btw is KENNY, screamed. "IT'LL MAKE ME FATTERRRRRR!" he was so mad, be began kicking the toilet, punching the walls, and screaming. "IT'S VANILLA FLAVORED! IT HAS 340 CALORIES AND IT TASTES LIKE SPEERRRRRMMM!"
The flaming habeeb shook his head and tutted. "Hon hon! You gotta have your NUTRITION! You gotta eat honay! And you aren't allowed in the bathroom yet! It's only been," habeeb checked his my little pony watch, "59.5 minutes!" the sexy, bony ginger kicked the wall. " I don't WANNA wait an hour! I just have to piss. I swear! And I'm not drinking your fucking ENSURE PLUS! I'm too fat and sexy for that shit!"
Oh yeah, by this time Yao and kiku were over it and we're banging like rabbits in the first stall, with the door open. Sure enough, Japan's noises were that of an Asian porn star. So like, "uuh, uh, UH, UH, UWAAAA! Kyu Kyu Kyu... KYAAAAAA!" and china was just derpin all the way! "KIKUUUUUUU!" he screamed. And he released his sticky rice all over the place! Some of it even landed in Kenny's glass of ensure.
"omgay! There's sperm in this!" Kenny cried, disgusted. The habeeb nurse's eyes widened. "Yay!" he squealed, drinking down the whole thing. "mmmmm, Asian sperm...it tastes like KUNG PAO CHICKEN!" Kenny then made a total derp face, grossed out. But he still looked sexy. totally.
"Wellll, kids!" Habeeb squealed, bobbing his head from side to side like a flamer. We have to back now, because Kenny has to get another needle in his ass for the horny lab people. Oh, and his phlebotomist is FILIPINO, but don't tell anyone! Tee hee!" he cried, shoving Kenny in a wheelchair and longing off gayly into the sunset.
With that, Yao and Kiku shrugged, re clothed themselves, and skipped off hand in hand to join B1A4 in their weekly orgy party.
If ANYONE understood the Ensure plus, the bathroom stall, the hour, or blood draws…You're my mothafuckin homeboy.