Title: My Brother's Boyfriend.
Author: SYNdicate 930.
Summary: AU. Being in love with your childhood best friend, who also just happens to be your brother's boyfriend, is just asking for trouble. Especially if he's a clueless bastard. Spamano.

Note: This is a total rip off one of my DRRR! fics with big changes on my other account I've pretty much abandoned orz. Since Building Blocks and Condom Boxes is a super derpy fic, I thought I'd post something sadder to even out my profile lol. And because google says it's real different in a lot of countries, in Canada (or at least in my province), elementary is kindergarten-grade 5, middle school is 6-8, and high school is 9-12.

This is supposed to be an angsty fic (which is a genre I'm not used to since I've pretty much been dicking around with Building Blocks), so please tell me what you think?

Chapter 1 – Strange Feelings.

Growing up, Lovino Vargas and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo were best friends who met at the ages of four and five on the playground at school. Though they both had different sides as to how it all went down, the main idea of the story was that Antonio jumped in to defend Lovino after seeing the latter get beat up by some of the older students during recess. While Lovino argued that he was more than capable of handling the situation himself, Antonio countered with how utterly helpless the fight was on the other's side, considering how tiny the Italian was as a kindergarten student. After getting a little beating himself from the fourth graders a few years old than Antonio, the two boys found themselves in an almost inseparable friendship that bloomed over the years.

They went to elementary school, and spent every recess together on the playground. A lot of the time, they would play with some of Antonio's friends in his grade, too, and, whether or not he would have liked to admit it, Lovino created close ties to them as well, but never anything as meaningful as the one he shared with the cheerful Spanish boy who sported a missing tooth after the incident. It was hard to admit, but Lovino had an awful time making friends.

Unlike Antonio, who everybody loved and adored throughout elementary, middle school, and high school, Lovino repelled more people than he attracted, friendship-wise and romantically. But he never minded. All he had ever needed was Antonio, and he was fine. Sometimes Lovino would worry about being too reliant on someone as popular as Antonio, but would always be reassured that he was depended on just as much. The relationship was reciprocal, and Lovino was childhood friends who grew up living just down the street from one another, they spent a large amount of time together. It was almost as if they were joined at the hip when they weren't in class.

Because Lovino's father had left his mother, who died giving birth to his brother the year following his birth, coincidentally falling on the same day Lovino was conceived on, he lived with his grandmother, Aryanna. The hardworking elderly woman only made enough money to take care of Lovino, which forced his younger brother to live with his grandfather after he was born. The two grew up knowing each other, but had never met until they were in their teens.

Just a couple houses down, Antonio lived with his adopted parents, a beautiful young Hungarian woman with a smile and demeanor as warm as her big heart and her husband, an Austrian man with a breath taking knack for music. Antonio's birth parents had arrived to Canada from Spain, too poor to take care of him, and put him up for adoption the moment he born. Sometimes Antonio would ask his adopted parents about his real parents, but never got much out of them.

Their home lives were one of the things the boys had in common; they grew up never meeting or really knowing about the people who brought them into the world. But, in their own little ways, it never bothered them much. Antonio was too happy to even have people that cared about him, and Lovino never understood the sadness in losing someone he hadn't even known in the first place. When Lovino thought about his mother as he looked through the old album's his grandmother stored away in the upstairs closet, he always imagined her to be as wonderfully sweet and loving as she was beautiful. He wondered if he would have turned out differently if she was around to take care of him.

Every day after school, the Ying-Yang pair would walk home from school together, sometimes with Antonio's friends, Gilbert and Francis, and hang out for a bit at the Spanish boy's house until it was time to go home. Gilbert and Francis lived a couple minutes away, so they would usually hitch rides from their parents, who would pick them up when it got too dark outside, while Antonio always walked Lovino down the street, hands clasped together firmly in childish innocence.

Lovino would always insist on being able to make the two minute long trip down the sidewalk himself, but to no avail each time. He also insisted on being able to hold his own hand, but Antonio insisted. From the day they first met, to high school, Antonio never missed a chance to walk Lovino home hand in hand. The Italian boy guessed it was a result of having been beat up that one recess. It must have triggered something in the other boy the same way something seemed to click in Lovino whenever that British boy in Antonio's grade bothered him as a child. But, being the overly happy person he was, Antonio took the blonde boy's torment with a smile. It was hard for Lovino to wrap his head around. The bastard was always smiling through everything.

Later on in middle school, Lovino found himself jealous over Antonio's sudden bodily changes. He remembered being around the same height, until he showed up to school half a foot taller, standing up to his shoulder instead of his hairline.

Also, he recalled an incident happening on the night before Christmas in the sixth grade. Because they didn't have much family to spend the holidays with, Antonio and his parents would come over to spend it with Lovino and his grandmother. So one night, before they were to come over, Antonio called Lovino up to ask if he wanted to try some of the cookies he made with his mother. The deep baritone on the other line was frightening to Lovino, who hadn't realized the sudden drop that occurred in his friend's voice, and hung up immediately.

This left him not only shorter, but sounding like a girl in comparison to his tall and manly (or at least as manly as a thirteen year old could get) friend. It didn't help that Antonio was always more athletic than Lovino either. But the boy made up for his lack of physical ability with incredible academic scores, which often lead him tutoring Antonio in every other subject that wasn't Gym. Even when Antonio had left Lovino behind in middle school to start high school, the latter still found himself tutoring the boy.

Sometime during their middle school years, Antonio found himself noticing girls more and more than he used to. He would talk about girls he found cute to Lovino in increasing frequency as months passed at the time. Though the age gap between the two boys was a mere year and couple of weeks, Lovino had yet to take an interest in the female population, but listened like the good friend he was anyway.

It felt a little strange, though. Antonio, along with the other boys at their school, began noticing all these girls, while Lovino still hadn't. It made him wonder if there was something wrong with him. He hadn't even had his first crush yet while Antonio went through that awkward dating in middle school phase. There was this one girl in particular that Lovino remembered Antonio growing found of.

Her name was Laura. She was a pretty girl of Belgian descent in Antonio's grade with short blonde hair with a slight wave, large green eyes, and mirthful personality. Antonio thought they were a match made in heaven, seeing as how their similar personalities seemed to click quickly and effortlessly. Laura was Antonio's first ever date. After the date went down, Lovino remembered how tired he was at school the next day after having spent the entire night on the phone with Antonio, who went on and on and on about how wonderful it was. As he listened on the other line, nearly falling asleep as it hit half an hour past 3:00 AM, he wondered what it felt like; to be so attracted and wrapped up in a person like that. He imagined it must have felt rather nice.

The two dated for quite some time after their first meeting, and became boyfriend and girlfriend, though it did not last long just like most middle school relationships. Even though she was a very sweet girl, with a kind nature and good intentions, she ended up breaking things off with Antonio one day after school. When he asked why, she said it was because she began to feel nelgected on account of his constant putting Lovino in front of her.

He sulked for a bit, but was fine when all was said and done. Secretly, Lovino was glad to hear about the two splitting up. Lovino had practically grown nocturnal with all their late night talks on the phone about the girl, and was glad to see his sleeping pattern return to normal. Not only that, but it wasn't until after Antonio told him about the break up that he realized how jealous he was of their relationship.

Whether it was because he was so used to being the one Antonio relied on and went to most, or the fact that he too began wanting to start dating, he wasn't sure. But he was rather relieved to see he was picked over her. And that's how the rest of Antonio's relationships had ended. They'd get fed up with Antonio's clinginess when it came to Lovino, and become angry every single time he chose the Italian over them. But this never seemed to stop girls from trying to be the one Antonio favored over Lovino.

There was this one time when Antonio left Lovino to attend high school while the latter was still stuck in middle school, that the former met another girl who made the boy choose between spending time with her on their one month anniversary or ditch her to attend Lovino's birthday, that just so happened to both fall on the same Saturday. Lovino didn't know what she was expecting because Antonio had made quite the reputation for himself as the guy who had and would always put his best friend first. It was no surprise that she dumped him because of Antonio's choice, really.

That year spent without Antonio at school with him was pretty lonely for the Italian boy, though would never admit it. Antonio knew deep down, though. Luckily for Lovino, he made friends with a polite Japanese boy and tough looking German boy just a year younger than him. They became good friends, but they were nowhere near as close to him as Antonio. Their friendship quickly came to an end after Lovino entered the same high school as the Spanish boy.

For all the times Lovino had ever been there for Antonio and his constant happiness and quick sulking over relationships he had jumped in and out of without much thinking, Antonio found himself as Lovino's shoulder to cry on the weeks following the death of his grandmother.

Aryanna had died of natural causes at the age of 78 years old. Lovino wasn't sure what exactly it was considering her numerous conditions that never seemed to stop her from living each day as if it were her last, but the doctors had come to the conclusion that she had had a stroke while Lovino was away at school, and gave the boy their deepest apologies.

Being only fifteen without any real family around, he found himself helpless with no one to turn to but Antonio. He was still considered too young to obtain a job in his city, so working for money to give his beloved grandmother a funeral was out of the question, and this upset the boy incredulously. Somehow news had reached his grandfather, who lived in a neighboring city just a couple hours away. One day he showed up and took care of everything. Lovino noted it was then that he first met anyone on his father's side. Along with him was his younger brother, Feliciano Vargas.

The two boys bore striking resemblances to one another, even right down to the strange curls in their hair. Their grandfather had a little trouble telling them apart despite having raised Feliciano himself, but Antonio always found himself able to differentiate the two. After all, the differences were in the colors of their eyes and slight darkness in Lovino's hair. Not to mention the never ending frown Lovino wore that countered Feliciano's blinding smile and preppy personality.

During this period of mourning, Lovino stayed with Antonio and his parents. He had been offered to stay and live with his grandfather and brother, but refused immediately. He was devastated over the death of the only motherly figure in his life, whom he cared for sincerely and deeply, and the thought of leaving Antonio as well was too much at the time. When said boy asked why hadn't moved in with his grandfather, Lovino had lied his way out of it. He didn't want to make himself appear more dependent on Antonio than he was of him. Though couldn't remember he said, it was enough to satisfy Antonio's curiosity.

Following the small funeral a week or two after, Lovino's grandfather approached him with surprising news. The man said he would be moving into his grandmother's house with Feliciano in order to take care of both of them without having to take him away, seeing as how opposed he was at the prospect of leaving. His grandfather figured it was because of all the memories of him and his grandmother it held, while in reality, it was mostly a result of not wanting to lose anyone else important to him as well.

A lot happened during this time, but it all seemed to flash before Lovino's eyes in a quick blur as he found himself walking down the stairs of his house into the kitchen for some breakfast a couple of months after the death of his grandmother, and sudden arrival of his grandfather and brother. The house the three lived in was a little old, but in great shape; a little small, but incredibly cozy and comfortable, containing hundreds and hundreds of fond memories of Lovino's childhood.

On the dark wooden siding beside the door of his bedroom were little ticks and marks he and his grandmother made as he grew up, recording his height twice a year up until the day she left. Every time he looked at it, his heart would clench in unexplainable pain. There were moments where he would look at them and mope around, and other times late into the night where he would cry himself unconscious. He loved her the way he knew he would have loved his mother.

Looking around at the lower half of the house, Lovino was always glad to see that his grandfather hadn't change anything since moving in. The TV and couch were in the exact same places, the shelves and books were left untouched, the piano still resting beside the stairs and overall familiarity intact. When the two moved in, the only things they brought with them were their clothes and a handful of belongings. When Lovino asked why they hadn't brought more stuff with them, his grandfather answered with, "This house is a representation of Aryanna, and I don't want to take her away from you."

It was cheesy sounding, but kind of sweet in that mushy way that made Lovino happy.

Though the living room was a little small compared to the pictures of the house Feliciano and his grandfather lived in, the impressive kitchen and quaint upstairs made up for it. A soft yawn ripped past his lips, but he didn't bother to cover it as he walked past his brother. The younger boy was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal watching some Saturday morning cartoons on one of the various kiddie channels.

Feliciano was only a year younger than him, but seemed to be much more successful despite his blatant stupidity. Feliciano seemed to have had inherited all the things his grandfather favored; the fact that he resembled him more than Lovino did and his apparent artist talent. Lovino didn't really understand why the old man was so proud of Feliciano. Sure, he could pick up a brush and make amazing paintings. Woopdy-fucking-doo. Lovino wanted to see Feliciano try to solve algebraic problems without a calculator or recite all the bones in the axial skeleton by heart in order from top to bottom.

"Good morning, fratello!" Greeted Feliciano as his cartoon paused to play some equally mindless advertisements. Lovino was in his line of sight, whipping up a quick breakfast, when the boy turned around to look into the kitchen behind him. "Did you sleep well?"

Truthfully, the night had been awful. With a small frown, Lovino answered, irritated, with gritted teeth, "No, I didn't. You and your stupid screaming down the hall kept waking me up. The fuck did I tell you about watching those stupid scary movies at night?"

"I couldn't help it! That little girl looked so cute, how was I supposed to know she would end up killing the entire family!?" His brother replied in horror.

"Whatever. So where's the old man at?" Lovino asked as he returned to the living room with a bowl of his own cereal. He made a motion with his hand to signal Feliciano to make room on the couch for him. He moved to the other end, eyes never leaving the television screen, as Lovino hopped onto the broken in sofa.

Glancing at the clock, it was about 10:00 AM, and the old geezer was supposed to go drop Feliciano off at his stupid art class downtown. Apparently he had been taking classes since he was old enough to pick up a brush, which seemed to explain his incredible paintings, some of which they decided to hang around the house. Slurping down the milky remains of his bowl, Feliciano tilted his head thoughtfully. "I think he might be asleep still. I'll go wake him up in a bit."

"Okay, good. Make sure you tell time I'm going out." Instructed Lovino as he scarfed down his cereal. If he ate any faster, Feliciano was sure he would've choked.

"Going out with Antonio again?" Lovino nodded. "I wonder what he's like. I've seen him around when he comes over, but I've never gotten the chance to talk to him. What's he like?"

Because of all the time they'd spent together, he only knew Antonio as Antonio. Finding words to describe the teen proved to be difficult as he mulled the thought over silently, chewing slowly on his frosted flakes. It was only a few seconds later that he gave up with a small shrug. Quickly finishing his breakfast as he ignored his brother's annoyingly airheaded nature, Lovino brushed his teeth in the bathroom upstairs, and left as Feliciano went to wake up their sleeping grandfather wondering why it was so hard to put into words someone he'd known better than the back of his own hand.

-—

October was coming to an end as Halloween drew nearer and nearer. Walking down the street, Lovino noted the festive decorations that hung about the house across the street and the ones on his side of the downhill road. Halloween seemed to be a big deal in the area as a result of the large amount of families that had moved into the neighborhood in recent years. Lovino's house even wore a few spooky decorations like yellow 'keep out' tape and fake tombstones on the small front lawn.

Colorful leaves crunched under Romano's beat up converse as he strolled down the empty pavement, hands in his pockets and head in the clouds as he thought to himself. He'd been thinking it over for quite a while, and it was only until he had tried to put Antonio into words that Lovino realized maybe his friendly feelings were a littler friendlier than they were when he was four. Since Antonio's second girlfriend or so, Lovino had caught himself seeing the other boy in a different light that felt much different than the light little Lovino saw little Antonio in, and uncomfortably close to the way current Antonio saw his girlfriends. Err… Ex-girlfriends.

He wasn't sure how exactly it'd started, but he was sure that the jealously that flared around in his stomach like untamed fire when Antonio would be so damn romantic and affectionate to girls instead of to him was one of the first warning signs. Then again, his changing feelings could have started much earlier. After all, Lovino had never experienced what 'crushing on' someone felt like, so for all he knew, he could have been in love with the bastard for all these years and not know.

Lovino sighed heavily to himself. Though he excelled in his studies at school and other academic endeavors, his brains seemed to deflate the moment they entered the territory otherwise known as 'feelings.' Lovino liked to call that certain area 'the land of no return', seeing as all the TV he had ever watched taught him that emotions only got in the way of everything else. It was probably because of his lack of real emotions like the ones on TV that made him so smart. His theory made sense since Antonio was always so involved with his emotions, that he did poorly in comparison to Lovino, who only ever worried about his studies and said teen.

"Man, this shit doesn't make sense…" Lovino grumbled under his breath as a soft autumn breeze picked up.

Maybe he'd watch some sappy Italian dramas later or something. It was through some stupid teen drama that truly provoked his questioning his feelings for Antonio, anyway. The main character's storyline, which told the tale of a young girl who eventually fell in love with her childhood best friend without realizing, was horrifically similar to Lovino's history with Antonio, so he couldn't help but connect similarities and compare differences. So, when the girl began to question her feelings, so did Lovino.

Following the stone pathway that cut through Antonio's lawn, he looked over to the jack-o-lanterns that sat mischievously on the cement front steps of his house. There were two sitting across from each other; one with a flower stuck to its side and the other with a leaf sticking out of the top of it curling upwards. It reminded him of Antonio's parents, Elizabeta, who usually wore flower-like accessories in her hair, and Roderich, whose hair possessed a strange cowlick similar to Lovino's long curl.

Lovino gave the doorbell a quick ring and waited patiently. In a matter of seconds, he could hear Antonio talking on the other side of the door as he bid his parents goodbye. Through the large blurred window, Lovino saw Antonio standing on the other end as he pulled on his shoes.

"Good morning, Lovi!" Shouted Antonio mirthfully as he came flying at said boy the moment the door opened. With his hands in his pockets as Antonio's long arms came to wrap around him, he struggled to free himself of the Spaniard's tight hold. "Awh, don't be like that, Lovi!"

"L-Let go, dumb bastard, or I'll leave!" With a small pout, Antonio complied. Lovino swore he felt himself about to pout as well at the loss of contact, but stopped himself before it was too late. It didn't make much sense to him. This wasn't the first time he'd been wanting Antonio to hug and touch him more.

"Oh, my heart! It hurts! Lovi doesn't want to spend time with me! I might as well go up into my room and never come out again!" Cried Antonio dramatically. He made a move to go back inside, but Lovino caught his wrist and made him stay. Lovino hadn't realized how much force he had put into such a small action, for Antonio found himself stumbling forwards into the Italian.

Stepping back, Antonio shot the shorter boy a toothy grin. "So you do want me to stay!"

Lovino stopped to stare for a second as he let go of his wrist. Come to think of it, not only had he wanted more physical contact, he'd been craving more time with Antonio and finding him to be much more charming as days passed now, too. And it was over the littlest things! Just the other day, Antonio had fallen asleep in English and had somehow found a way to make snoring silently against the desk attractive. Even the way he jumped out of his seat as the teacher caught and yelled at him for sleeping in class was attractive.

It was strange, to say the least.

As he looked over Antonio's flawless tan complexion, bright smile, boyish features, and messy hair that seemed to fall over his forehead and cup his face perfectly despite the word 'bedridden' written all over those dark locks, Lovino had to wonder if Antonio was always that attractive, or if he was just starting to realize it for the first time.