(Insert general disclaimer here)
The gun on the television goes off as the show Big Shot begins. Spike yawned and stretched from the long yellow sofa in which he used to take a short snooze.
" Hi amigos! All you bounty hunters out there in the galaxy! How y'all doin?" Punch, the host of the show began with much gusto.
"Welcome to Big Shot," his co-host, Judy exclaimed with just as much excitement.
"We have a great show for you today! Who says there aren't enough Bounties to go around? This show we feature ten of the latest finds!"
"Ten?!" Judy exclaimed. "That is the number we had last time!"
"Right you are! They are mainly from the Earth again. What is going on there?"
Spike sighed. "Nothing out of the ordinary." He placed his hands behind his head and continued to watch.
Jet walked into the room, a broken Bonsai in his hand. "Nothing good comes from the Earth anymore."
Faye entered the room behind Jet, bathrobe on and a towel over her hair. "Aren't any one of you wondering why there is a spike in the Bounties on Earth?" Faye questioned the men.
"Not really," Spike muttered as Jet again replied, "Nothing good comes from the Earth anymore. Jet walked away to save or dispose of the tiny tree and Spike sank deeper into the couch and continued to watch Big Shot. Faye sat down in an adjacent chair.
"It's unusual to have so many so soon," Faye speculated. "I'm not complaining, but something's gotta be up."
"Like Jet said, nothing good comes from the Earth anymore. Maybe it just gets worse." Faye and Spike watched to see who they would take on. It seemed like the list started from small frys and gradually increased to the bigger catches. On the sixth head, Faye feigned a small amount of interest.
"I suppose I can take on Dwight Fisk. Thirty-million can do me some good," Faye mused aloud.
"Yeah and fix the damages your ship did to mine when you "barely side-swiped" me the other day," Spike retorted.
"Hey, I had a few extra rounds and you were too close; you know the rules, ladies first," Faye smirked, an eyebrow arched while running a nail file across the nail of her middle file.
"Let's make things interesting," Spike started. "I can bring in the next head announced before you could bring in Dwight. Winner gets all of the earnings, plus my ship gets repaired tomorrow."
"When I win, I want a paint, wax, the whole she-bang done by hand by you!" Faye bargained back.
"Deal," Spike replied, ready to take the challenge. They shook on it.
"Next up," Punch rang out with an exhale. Apparently, the extended list was not something he was used to. He was running out of gusto. "We have the infamous Grudo Sildo worth a whopping forty-million!"
"That seventy-million will sure look good in my good-as-new ship," Spike smirked.
"He sure doesn't look harmful," Judy rang out with a frown. The picture sat on the screen in agreement with her. The man sat on the screen with the line-up wall behind him and he appeared to be looking to up and to the left.
"Hey Edward—" The duo chimed out. Faye waited until they finished identifying Spike's bounty to get a good word from their "computer expert," before she set off to win the bet. Apparently, Spike had the same idea.
"Everyone needs Ed," Edward chimed, doing a handstand and peering at the dynamic duo between her elbows.
"I need you to—"
"I need you to—" Faye and Spike once again started to say, but stopped when they were simultaneously requesting the hacker again.
"Hey, I'm trying to—"
"Hey, I'm trying to—" They glared at each other.
"Go on first," Spike gave in. "I'll still be waiting for you in the end."
"Ladies first," Faye reminded the lanky man and went over and squatted next to Edward and requested the information she wanted.
Nearing his destination on Earth, Spike glanced over to the side of his ship that had the damage. He should have bargained to see her fix it, the old-fashioned way too. Thoughts of revenge started to creep into his head, but then his ship would receive more damage. Faye was in no hurry to get the dings out of her's, but he cared about his ship a little more.
"Oh Earth," Spike sighed as he walked into the city. He'd caught bounties here before, but the city looked different; more rundown. The inhabitants scowls were more and more pinched, there seemed to be much more glass on the ground, its fellow shards sitting in windows floors and floors above and bullets littered the ground like ants. As he stepped, Spike wished the critters on the ground were ants. He just wanted to get the bounty and go.
There was speculation, as Edward had found, that the man was into the drug business and this was where he did his business. How she found this information was amazing and also none of his business; her methods weren't questioned, but quite often exploited by the lot. Where would they be without her?
Just as the sun hid itself behind the tall apartments and buildings, there he was. There he was? It couldn't be that easy, could it? Spike readied his gun, but kept it hidden as he walked over to Grundo, who was leaning against the side of a rundown apartment building, a cigarette between two fingers and a look of deep thought spread across his features. He was only of medium height and had a little girth about him. With long, curly, blonde hair, he appeared to belong to a University, playing hacky-sack in the courtyard, instead of dealing drugs. Why this amounted to forty-million was beyond anyone's guess at the moment.
Spike decided to play it cool. He walked up to Grundo, who only glanced at him and took a puff of his cigarette, only to hack up a lung in the process. Grundo, in turn, dropped the cigarette and stepped on it.
"Are you the one they call Grundo?" Spike questioned casually.
"It's G-rundo! You must have been recommended by Tobias. Tell me the name and the amount owed," Grundo stated, as if he practiced the line a few times.
"Excuse me," Spike questioned, not liking the confusion he was starting to have. Maybe Edward had the wrong information, even though Big Shot said something about drugs. He should've listened to the whole story instead of on the bet.
"Does Tobias do anything right?!" Sildo growled to himself. When you don't get your money, you come see me. The money is always paid," Grundo said, in turn, clearing up some confusion. He was the hitman when payment wasn't received. Something just wasn't right about this man though.
"I don't want to put a hit on anyone," Spike replied.
"What do you want then?!" Grundo growled, "I'm very busy." He was not very convincing. His attempt at smoking a cigarette failed miserably.
"You do know there's a bounty on your head," Spike stated, wondering if he had the wrong Grundo Sildo.
"You're one of those, aren't you?!" Grundo screeched, but then jumped back and pulled out his gun. "You see those windows?" he questioned, gestering with his shoulder. "My work! I can get a hit without even being in the room!"
"For a while there, I was wondering if I had the wrong man, but not anymore!" Spike shouted and followed it with a cresent-kick, knocking the pistol out of Grundo's hands.
"Let's finish this," Spike growled, putting his gun away and giving the poor bounty a hook to the temple. Grundo stumbled back and delivered a front kicked, which was dodged. Grundo regained his balance and dodged a roundhouse kick and delivered an uppercut that was taken in the solar-plexes, but did little damage. Seeing an opening, Spike gave a knee-kick right to the gut of his victum and he lurched. What came next was surprising; Grundo gave a one-two punch, but it was intentionally weak. Then, he left himself open as a did a weak front kick, only to be blocked and a front kick of Spike's own met Grundo and he hit the apartment wall and slumped.
"You are not going to give up like that?! A little effort please!" Spike coaxed, standing at the ready in case the man was bluffing and had backup waiting.
"You have defeated me. The only thing left is to turn me in," he managed to say between winces.
"How is there a forty-million bounty on your head?" Spike wondered in disbelief.
"You see those windo—" Grundo began.
"Yeah yeah! I see the windows! It's hard to believe you did any of that?!"
After a moment, Sildo replied, "I thought so too, but after you nail the first person, what a rush! Then you want to complete every mission they put you on successfully!" Grundo told, with a sinister glory about it.
"That isn't you," Spike summed up.
"It is when it makes the cash! Ain't no rest for the wicked, my friend," Grundo grinned. Spike was reminded of an old Earth song. He'd be whistling it later, he just knew it.
"That is about to end here," he replied casually, taking out his gun again.
"You don't think I dread where I'm going; three hots and a cot, my friend." The things this guy was saying were unbelievable.
"Don't tell me you were doing these things just to land yourself in jail?!"
"I suppose I could just…turn myself in?" Grundo asked, almost making Spike fall over in shock. Was this really happening?
"I don't think so," Spike finished, lifting his leg high into the air and everything went dark for Grundo Sildo.
Faye finished her second cigarette as Spike exited, forty-million richer. He took one look at her and continued walking. Her smirk figuratively peeling the old paint off of her ship. Faye dropped what was left of the cigarette, stepped on it with the toe of her boot and followed suit.
"You were right before about Earth; something is going on. My bounty wanted to go to prision. Something about three hots and a cot."
"It's getting hard to live out here. People get desperate."
"But wanting to go to prison?"
"You don't pay for anything there."
"What about getting a job. At least, become the bounty hunter not the bountied."
"Nothing good comes from Earth anymore," Faye responded, then realized she was quoting Jet from previously that day.
"Now you're getting it," Spike smirked and started whistling an old song from Earth.