A/N: Hello fellow humans. So I had another idea that I am really excited about. Sorry if I have spelling mistakes and what not, I just am way to excited not to post this. So I hope you guys enjoy! There will be lemons in later chapters, I'll always remind you before you begin. Also, there is some swearing and dirty humor, so keep that in mind if you don't like it. Other than that, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, but I do own a stuffed dragon named Frodo
Chapter 1: The Challenge.
Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc glanced around the unbearably tiny office with whom he shared with five other officers, all consumed with an overwhelming amount of paperwork. He glanced down at this desk where the white sheets had now begun to topple over from being such a high stack and he suddenly regretted not calling in sick to work that very morning.
Man, he hated paperwork.
Letting out a loud, very noticeable yawn, Havoc stretched his arms out above his head in a dramatic fashion, hoping to catch the attention of one of his fellow co-workers. The usual hilarity and energy that filled the room was lacking quite a bit from his fellow workers, making today a day Havoc knew he was going to dread. He hated when the team began to drown underneath the pressure of handing things in on time. It was no fun.
Boredom never amused Havoc and right now, he was just about to hit his limit. He glanced around again, hoping somebody had looked up from their work to glare at him or bicker with him, but no such luck. All eyes remained focused on the task at hand, something he knew he should probably be doing as well.
He spun around in his chair, to look at the three men seated behind him. There was Breda, Falman and Fuery, the three laziest bunch of boneheads he knew, working ferociously to complete whatever tasks Mustang had thrown at them. He glanced towards his left where the bold and beautiful (although he'd never say that to her) Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was sitting, in her usual position with her usual emotionless face. She worked too hard, thought Havoc, as always. His eyes peeled off his Lieutenant to the man in charge, Colonel Mustang. He could tell the Colonel was having just as hard a time trying to stay awake then Havoc was trying to do remove the grim mood that had been set in the room.
He watched the Colonel's, as his eyes slowly begin to shut, and Havoc made a bit with himself that Mustang wouldn't last another five minutes. He needed to find that man some fun. He knew (firsthand) that Mustang didn't need any help in the women department. But the women were usually only good for one night stands, one the fun was gone, it never came back. What Roy needed was a girlfriend., a steady girlfriend who knew how to keep the Colonel's spirits up.
"OW!" A muffled cry from Mustang rang out. His eyes had finally given in and his whole body had fallen asleep, causing his head to bang against his hard wooden desk in an attempt to pass out.
"That's what you get, Sir." Lieutenant Hawkeye's reply came, not even glancing up at the Colonel. Havoc covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stuff his laughter back into his mouth. The Colonel hated being laughed at, but he couldn't help it. A bright red mark began to form on the center of Mustang's head and Havoc hooted with laughter, earning a glare from Mustang.
Breda, Falman and Fuery looked up at Havoc, curiosity ringing over all of their faces at why he was laughing. Havoc merely pointed to the now growing bruise on Roy's face. As if planned, all three of them burst into laughter joining Havoc. Hawkeye rolled her large brown eyes, annoyed that her commanding officer was falling asleep on the job…again.
Mustang glared at them, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "If you four don't shut up-"
He was interrupted by a large sharp snorting sound, an obvious trigger from laughing; causing all five heads, including Hawkeye, to look over at Breda, who was now covering his mouth with his hand.
"What! I snort when I laugh sometimes! Big deal…" He cried.
"Man, that's wasn't a fucking snort. I felt like you were calling your ancestors. Holy shit."
"It wasn't that bad, dick." Breda retorted, reaching over his desk to where Havoc sat and slapped him neatly upside the head.
"No it was worse man. Please don't ever do that again, you seriously frightened me."
"I'm gonna frighten my fist right up your-"
Hawkeye cleared her throat, a clear warning for them both to shut up before she whipped out her pistol and started shooting.
"Come on, Lieutenant. Aren't you at all sick of all this paperwork?"
She rolled her eyes again, a habit that she had grown quite accustomed to, not giving him an answer. She instead, picked up her pen and began to continue what she was doing. Sighing at his hopeless Lieutenant, Havoc rolled his chair over to where Breda, Falman and Fuery sat. He had their attention now, as Hawkeye returned to her duties and Mustang try too sooth the growing bump.
"Guess what?" He asked his three friends and they all looked up at him expectantly.
"I've got a date tonight."
"Fucking finally," Said Breda, clapping him on the shoulder. "Who with?"
"You know the secretary, who works on the third floor?" Havoc replied.
"Oh the one with the massive boobs?" Breda questioned, holding out his hands in front of his chest to mimic the girl's breasts. Havoc nodded his head and grinned like a kid on Christmas.
"She's beautiful." Said Fuery, who looked dreamily into the distance.
"Hey back off. I get enough stealing from Mr. Butterfingers over there," Havoc sighed, pointing at the Colonel who was still rubbing his forehead.
"I can't help it, Jean, that my charms are irresistible to the women of this fine nation. I obviously know more about pleasing women than you do."
That retort received a snort from Hawkeye.
All five men turned their heads to look at her. She couldn't help herself. She usually kept quiet when the boys started to bicker about women, finding it completely degrading. But sometimes, the Colonel's ego filled up the room a little too much and she couldn't help react to him thinking he knew how to please women. He couldn't even keep a steady girlfriend.
"Something funny, Lieutenant?"
"Not at all, sir." Her eyes dropping back down to the work on her desk, refusing to meet the eyes of her subordinates.
"There must be something funny; you did just laugh at me."
Havoc took this opportunity to chime in. "Even the Lieutenant knows that you suck when it comes to women."
Hawkeye spun around to look at Havoc. "What the hell do you mean 'even' the Lieutenant?" Her eyes glared into his and Havoc began to cower back.
Oops, now I've pissed her off, he thought.
"Come on, Lieutenant, leave the poor man alone. I think we all know what he meant." Falman interrupted, trying to make the situation better for Havoc. Unfortunately, he failed miserably.
"NO I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HE MEANT!" She yelled, causing Falman to jump behind Breda's muscular body. "ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, HAVOC."
"Well…I mean…because you're so…"
"So what?" She inquired.
The veins in her forehead had grown explicably larger and her eyes bulged with anger as she looked upon the four idiots she called her subordinates.
"Oh come on Lieutenant," The Colonel's voice rang out from his where he was sitting, teasing her. "You know what he means. You're one of the guys."
"One. Of. The. Guys." She said through clenched teeth, now turning her glare onto her commanding officers. She could feel her eye about to twitch while glaring at him.
"You don't like fun." He said with a smirk, egging her on. He found it entertaining to get her riled up, unlike the rest of the boys who found her terrifying when she was angry.
"I will have you know, sir, that I am a fully fledged adult woman who enjoys fun just as much as the next person. "
"I'm sure you don't mean the kind of fun we were thinking, Lieutenant."
"I was assuming that you mean fun as in a sexually infused relationship, sir."
Roy raised an eyebrow as he looked down at his yellow haired hawk. "Did you just admit that you are a sexually active adult female?"
"I am not a nun, sir."
The room went silent for a few minutes at the new realization that Hawkeye was not just a workaholic but rather...a girl.
"Well, hubba hubba," whispered Havoc, his mind wandering to places he never thought it could go.
"If you don't wipe that look off your face and get your disgusting mind out of the gutter, I will not hesitate to come over here and shoot you in the-"
"PLEASE DON'T SHOOT MY MAN PARTS."
"I was going to say foot but that would work too." She smirked at him, reaching a hand into her holster as a threat.
"And so what, you think you can get more guys then I can get girls?" asked a now intrigued Roy and Riza tore her glare from Havoc to turn back to Mustang.
"That is not what I said, sir. I merely laughed at the thought of a man like you knowing how to treat a woman. Although I am acquired to the needs of men."
"Is that a challenge, Lieutenant?"
Riza's eyes grew wide. She knew what would happen if she took on a challenge from Roy. The boys did it all the time and they always ended messy. They would be about stupid things like who could eat the most hot dogs or who could hold their hand over a flame. She had never partaken in those stupid contests, knowing Roy won 90 percent of them and the punishments were always cruel. Not to mention it was just plain childish.
He smirked, knowing full well what he was doing. "Come on, Lieutenant. It would be fuuuuuun."
She shook her head, not willing to give into anything he was willing to offer.
"I'll make it worth your while." Roy pouted and Riza's ears perked up. She hated when he pouted.
"What the deal?" She muttered, knowing she was walking into a trap. The boys sitting to her right cheered at her giving into Mustang's game.
"Hey, I didn't say I was going to do it!" She stated. "I just want to know what's required."
That shut the cheering squad up.
"How about this," A small voice announced. Fuery had finally spoken up. "20 dates. 1 date per day for both of you. Men for the Lieutenant and women for you, sir. Whoever goes home with the most out of the 20 wins the bet."
Riza didn't like this. "What are we required to do with them once we get them back to our homes, Major?"
He shrugged. "That will be up to you to decide. Kick them out, make them tea, sleep with them. It doesn't matter. But it only counts if you get them to go home with you."
A nervous pit of dread caused Riza to take a deep sigh. She knew there was no way out of this and judging from the Colonel's smirk, he thought he had this in the bag.
"What are the stakes?" Asked Falman.
Roy looked at Hawkeye. What was something she would really want…
"I promise that if you win, for an entire month, I will stop lacking at my job. I will pick up the slack, finish the paper work and kick some serious work ass."
Having the Colonel actually do his job without her telling him to. That sounded like a nice vacation, not to mention it made her job a hell of a lot easier.
He gave her a grin that shot straight through her body and he nodded. She shook off whatever the feeling was that was squeezing her heart and grimly agreed.
"And if I win, Lieutenant?"
Crap. She forgot it went two ways.
"I, for an entire month, will lay off your back at work. You can do whatever you want. No annoying Lieutenant to snap you into work mode. It's all you."
"I do believe a break from you will be a lovely thing." Roy muttered.
Well that was a low blow. She couldn't help feel a little hurt by that one. Did he really not like having her around?
"You have to shake on it now!" Cried Havoc, who was more excited than Roy and Riza combined. He always loved a good bet and with Hawkeye entering in, this was sure to be an interesting one.
The Colonel climbed around his desk and walked towards the Lieutenant, she reached out her hand and he took it. Looking into her eyes with a stare that made her weak in the knees, they shook hands.
"May the best man –"
"May the best man or woman…win."
A/N – Whew, ok. It's three in the morning here and I'm just about ready to pass out, but I really hope you guys like the first chapter. I'm really happy about this story and it will be filled with Royai romance and humor, I promise. I would love a review because they make me enjoy life a little bit more.
Thank you for checking this out and I shall update as soon as I can!