Buddy Bizarre Chapter 1/?
Summary: While Dean and Sam are in Jensen and Jared's place, Dean and Sam's counterparts end up in theirs. The other half of "The French Mistake" episode. Canon!verse + characters from Meta!verse. Head canon ideas kind of exploded on Tumblr, and this is the end result. Title is a Blazing Saddles reference.
Spoilers: None really, but it takes place at the same time as 6.15. Also, I assume you should be familiar with the SpN Meta!verse of French Mistake
Warnings: First fanfic. Not the first thing I've written but still requires a warning, yes? I also have no clue how to use this site, but I'm learning.
Chapter 1: Now You're Doing the French Mistake
The glass shatters under the weight of a violently thrown Sam and Dean. That part, at least, was to be expected. The part that wasn't expected happened immediately after they crash through the glass. As soon as the brothers finish passing through the frame of the now destroyed window, they vanish.
Virgil turns to face Balthazar and snarls, "What did you do?"
Balthazar smirks and casually brushes off one of his shoulders, "I simply sent them somewhere where neither you, nor Raphael can get them." After deciding his clothes were a lost cause, he glances up at Virgil, and his smirk widens into a large grin. Clearly proud of his actions and the situation that has come of it he continues, "As is the key to the weapons vault."
The weapons' master had been quickly approaching Balthazar, but upon hearing the last remark, he falls just short and immediately stops. A few moments of silence passed with their eyes trained on one another, and neither made an attempt to move. The only sound is the downpour of rain and occasional burst of thunder as lightning rips across the sky outside. Sighing, the rebel angel finally breaks off the staring contest and carefully adjusts his shirt make sure his earlier wound is concealed and then crosses his arms. All while attempting not to wince at the sudden bolt of pain from his left side due to the sudden movement.
Confident that Virgil is still unaware of Balthazar's injury, he happily takes a moment to break the already uncomfortable silence. "I see the wheels in your head turning, but you're not much without your orders. Are you?"
Glaring at his cocky brother, Virgil straightens up and growls, "This isn't over."
As soon as the words are said, he disappears with the sound of fluttering wings just barely heard over the storm. Presumably to ask Raphael for their next plan of action. Whatever the case may be, Balthazar is just glad to be rid of him.
"I hate it when they say that."
Now that all of the problems are out of the way, Balthazar takes a moment to look around the room and survey the damages. Bobby Singer's living room is in disarray between the fighting and the wind from the current storm blowing in through the window. Well, what's left of it. Papers are strewn about and books from the desk and several shelves have now found their way to the floor. Half of the room is already completely wet from the rain, and most of which shouldn't be including previously mentioned books and papers. The left overs of whatever spell Balthazar had used to send off the hunters to only God knows where, not that anyone could ask Him though, has somehow spilled onto Singer's couch.
"Well, that went better than I thought it would."
His amusement, however, turns to confusion when he hears someone groaning. Someones groaning. Balthazar is fairly certain who these someones are, but that doesn't stop him from peering out over the remains of the older and far grumpier hunter's living room window. Sure enough, the pained sounds are coming from the now very wet and covered in glass Winchester brothers.
Another sound of fluttering wings is heard behind Balthazar as problem one and problem two start to stir to consciousness. Balthazar sighs again and drops his head slightly before he turns to find he is in the close proximity of one very perturbed Castiel. Just as Castiel opens his mouth to say something to Balthazar, something that the blond imagines can't be good, the older Winchester yells out.
"What the hell?"
The two angels turn to face the hunters who are completely soaked and furious at the fact. Sam's anger seems to fade as he looks up and around, while Dean continues to be annoyed at his state of attire.
"It didn't say anything about being wet. I hate being wet! And what is this? Real glass? You guys will be lucky if I don't sue-" Dean trails off as he finally glances up. He notices the winged rebels for the first time, who are still inside the house and just simply staring at them.
Sam steps over the window frame into the house followed by Dean, both baffled by the surroundings almost like they have never seen the place before. The younger Winchester's eyes are more focused on trying to avoid stepping on anything, which is proving more difficult as Bobby's belongings are blown around the room. Regardless, he says to no one in particular, "Umm. What's going on?"
Thunder and lightning erupt from the storm outside, something that causes both Sam and Dean to jump. Castiel tilts his head as he curiously studies the two. Then as quickly as the expression came, it's gone. Now the darker haired angel steps closer and his expression carries an intensity that causes both humans to shift nervously under Castiel's scrutiny.
Sam clears his throat and smiles in an attempt to mask his rapidly growing nervousness, "Wow, Misha. You've gotten really g-"
"You are not Sam and Dean Winchester."
Sam or 'Sam' is taken aback as Castiel spins to face the other angel with a glare. Balthazar simply scoffs, "What? This was your idea. How was I supposed to know what was going to happen?"
'Sam' turns and shoots 'Dean' a questioning look, while pointing a thumb in the heavenly beings' direction. 'Dean' shrugs in a mix of confusion and annoyance. The taller human steps closer to the other and whispers, "What's going on?"
The older brother seems angry at the fact the younger one is even attempting to talk to him, but answers regardless. "I don't know."
"Where's the cameras?"
"I don't know."
"And the rest of the crew?"
"I don't know!"
The two are rapidly becoming irritated at the situation and each other. Their voices gradually getting louder until the two supposed Winchesters are yelling at one another. "You really don't know anything, do you?"
'Dean' sneers at 'Sam' while jabbing a finger into his brother's chest, "Now listen here you-"
"ENOUGH." Thunder and lightning appears once again as Castiel's voice booms, hints of what seems to be the angel's true voice coming through to the surface. It's not as strong to break anything, but still shakes the house down to its very foundation. The two 'hunters' stare at Castiel in what he considers to be somewhere between awe and complete terror. He's also fairly certain he even heard one of them whimper.
Definitely not the Winchesters.
Balthazar, who has been enjoying the scene transpire, up to this point grins at Castiel, "Look at you, Cassie. Do they always get you this worked up?"
Castiel rolls his eyes, a bad habit he has picked up over time, and faces away from the humans and his increasingly bothersome brother. He knows better than to answer Balthazar's question because answering will only make matters worse, namely incite more of his friend's teasing. Right now, Castiel's main concern is to figure out where the plan went wrong. It's possible the spell didn't properly work or one of the ingredients was incorrect, but that couldn't be the right. Balthazar and Castiel spent days planning this. Everything was perfect. He knew it was. So where did the plan go wrong?
As Castiel faces away from the group thinking about the current issue the shock is finally dissipating and 'Sam' steps forward, albeit hesitantly. "Hey. Misha?"
Castiel spins around to face the group once again, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side, "I don't understand that reference. You keep calling me a misha. What is a misha?"
'Dean' bursts into laughter. "Oh!" Trying to stifle the laughing to be able to talk, "Oh, I get it! Ok. You guys really got me. This is for last week, isn't it?"
'Sam' joins in the laughter, "Come on man, that was just a joke." He attempts to give Castiel a friendly push on the shoulder, and doesn't fail to notice that the short angel doesn't even budge at the gesture. Balthazar raises an eyebrow as Castiel continues to stare down the two humans.
Castiel then grips the two impostors' shoulders, "We don't have time for this."
Fake Sam and fake Dean, as Castiel has currently decided to refer to them, jerk at the contact and their laughter is suddenly replaced with fear, nausea, and a strange lightheadedness all at once. The last thing they hear is what sounds like large wings fluttering all around them. And then everything is dark.
A/N: Continue? Y/N? Thoughts? Questions?
Thanks for reading!