AN: If you like this one, you can thank my brother, T0rukMakt0, for the idea. We were thinking about the difference between the old Star Wars (my favorite) and the new Star Wars (his favorite). Though we can't agree on everything, we can agree on one thing. Storm Troopers are bad shots. Horrible, horrid sharpshooters. (Note I didn't say the clones were. They seem to do fine under Anakin :D ). Thus, here is this cracktastic fic, written for fun!
Darth Vader could not believe his luck. There, sitting on the desk in front of him was a handwritten message from the rebel scum's leaders, in particular one Mon Mothma. She was willing to risk one of her most celebrated troops, the young Skywalker who had just destroyed the Death Star, if he was willing to prove once and for all that Storm Troopers could actually hit a target. If they won, Vader was to leave them alone for a year. If- and really, thought Vader, it was a matter of when- he won, he would get to keep Skywalker and one additional rebel of his choice. It was a sure bet!
At the appointed time, Vader assembled his best troops and watched, with as smug an expression as a mask can provide, as the blonde jedi-to-be and his perpetual hangers on, the escaped princess and Ham whats-his-name boarded his favorite Star Destroyer. Behind them trailed a rather disgruntled Wookie, who obviously thought this was a stupid idea. Vader agreed. Stupid for them.
"Uhm, guys, remind me why I'm the one testing this out?" Luke glanced at Han and Leia, wondering if all the rumor's he'd heard about the rebel's being wise were actually big fat recruitment lies. Han shrugged and gave him a sarcastic smile.
"You wanted to sign up with these people, not me buddy. They volunteered you for the mission, I just agreed to bring you here." He winced, as Leia smacked him in the back of the head. "What your worshipfulness? I was only telling the truth." Leia glared at him.
"This could save the rebellion for a year Han, don't scare Luke. He'll be fine." Leia smiled reassuringly at the former farmboy. "You'll be okay Luke."
Luke wondered what Ben would think of this little stunt as he stood against a wall and waited for the hail of storm trooper shots. Luke had a feeling that probably the elderly jedi would have said that it was uncivilized. Civilized or not, five troopers took aim, steadied themselves and…
Whizz, Zing, Blam,
"ARGH!" Darth Vader screamed in fury and agony as three of the five bullets somehow bounced off of the walls and hit him in the legs. Luke, miraculously, was untouched, though there were two smoking holes on either side of his head. He sighed in relief and decided that he'd had enough of this stupidity.
"That's it. Come on guys, let's go before he decides to-"
"do that." Luke sighed in annoyance as more ineffectual shots rained down on them. Thankfully they had left the Falcon running and were able to make a hasty escape. Luke turned to Han, Leia, and Chewie, and delivered his final opinion on "Operation Trooper Fail".
"Never again guys, okay?"
All three nodded in agreement.
Somewhere, far away, Darth Vader groaned in agony and embarrassment as Emperor Palpatine replayed the security tapes and laughed himself silly.
AN: Flames will be used to feed the Falcon's malfunctioning Hyper drive!