Disclaimer: Okay, I guess complaining about writing this thing isn't gonna help, but it makes me feel good. Well, the Teen Titans belong to there respective owners. But I still feel that I should be in control. Unless something were to "accidentally" happen to one of the owners, I guess I would step up. Look out RobxRae fans, there's a new sheriff in town, and her name is BBXRAESUPPORTER. Last name: TERRAHATER.
A/N: Okay, I know, it's only been three days and I have four of these things already. I'm a writer, IT'S WHAT I DO! But I don't get paid for it which is JANK! But hey, maybe the owners of Teen Titans will hire me and I can be the writer for their show. Oh, and the person that bosses others around and is constantly asking for doughnuts. Who would win, me or David Slack. Hmm, only one way to find out, and I haven't found that way so we'll play it by ear. Without further ado, I present to you (Ooh, that rhymed, it's about time.) Beast Boy's Rant 2.
I never knew bitching and complaining could be so fun. I should have done this way back in season 2. Then I could tell you all about Terra's dirty, little secrets. But no, I don't hear about until like, I don't know, SEASON 6! But there is no season 6 because they canceled me, like, the fuck. I don't mean to sound repetitive but, I'm too badass for that. You don't cancel badass people off of TV. Cancel those reality TV shows about how Luke isn't in love with Jessica anymore. People watch TV to escape reality, not be reminded about how bad their life really is because they don't have a house the size of Rhode Island. MAKE THE GOOD DAMN CHOICES!
Besides, TV is about what the fans want. If you make a shit-ass show about some blue-eyed biscuit shit, no one is gonna watch it. And if no one watches it, then you'll be forced to cancel the biscuit and all those pre-made stuffed biscuit toys will just have to rot on the shelves at your local 'Wal-mart' (Don't own walmart either. I really shouldn't have to say that!) Poor biscuit man.
And biscuits, what's up with those. I mean, aren't they supposed to be fluffy and soft with little flakes falling off as you take them out of the hot oven and sniff that beautiful carb-filled smell. But lately, those bitches at the factory have been fucking around with my Sunday morning ritual. NOBODY FUCKS AROUND WITH MY SUNDAY MORNING RITUAL! If the brand name is gonna give me these flat, no yeast filled donkey turds, then I'll just buy the off-brand. Save myself some money. And speaking of money, I swear someone like jacked some of ones. How can I buy a $2.38 pack of biscuits is all I have are FIVES! Then I'll get an uneven amount of change which forces me to count the coins. That's kind of a challenge.
I think it was Raven. She would do that just so she could see me struggle to count five nickels. You know, Raven and I were chatting the other night, and like, it was for different than usual. She was all not Ravenny. You know what; I just tell you what she said rather than explain it.
*Nightly Convos With Raven*
Raven: Umm, what the fuck? You spelled hey worng.
Me: Well you spelled worng rwong.
Raven: Yeah, but you didn't.
Me: Shut up. Aren't you supposed to be like meditating?
Raven: Well, I get tired of meditating sometimes you know. Sometime I just want to open my eyes to the new internet world or these new coffee propagandas.
Me: Umm, Raven. I know Cy's on meds, and probably is on crack too, but what's your excuse?
Raven: Excuse for what. Being a normal teenage girl?
Me: Umm, you're not a normal teenage girl.
Raven: What are you implying? Is it because my dad was the incarnation of evil, because my room is dark, because I don't laugh at your jokes?
Me: Umm…Uhh… Yes, yes, and sure?
Raven: Are you fucking kidding?
Me: Uhh, yes?
Raven: Okay. Don't fuck around with me child.
Me: *Eye twitch* Should I be nervous. I mean, last night, the night before that, the night before that, the ni-
Raven: Dude, we talk every night. We live in the same damn house.
Me: Dude, did you just say dude? You don't say dude, you can't say dude.
Me: I'm gonna go before it gets creepier than this.
Raven: NO, STAY. You know you want to.
Me: What is your deal? Do you have a fever.
Raven: Oh no, my kitty ate my boot. Gtg darling, gotta get my boot back from my imaginary kitty.
I'm_Not_Emo19 has logged off
*Nightly Convos With Raven Ended*
If that wasn't bad enough, the next day I confronted her about it and she denied it ALL. She denied the propaganda thing, the normal girl thing, the laughing thing, and the kitty shit. I really think she's been buying somethings off of Cy. I can really imagine that stuff goin' down.
Raven: *Low whisper* You got the stuff?
Cy: *Low whisper* Yeah, you got the avocadoes?
Raven: Naw dipshit. Just give me the stuff and let me go.
Cy: Let me check those avocadoes, make sure they're still firm. *Takes avocadoes and inspects them*
Raven: Would you hurry up, Beast Boy thinks I'm in the bathroom.
Cy: Fine, but next time, don't get them when they're so ripe!
Raven: I don't even want to know.
*Role Play Ended*
That's why she was gone for so long! Or maybe she really was using the bathroom. Wait, why am I talking about Raven using the bathroom? Anyway, like I said before, she has been acting really strange lately. And it's bugging me. How do I know that she hasn't been watching me sleep? Like she phases through my door, kinda like when I turn into a fly and go into her room. Oh shit, why did I say that. I only do it when like she acts strange or talks to books. Okay fine, you got me. But it's not like an every night thing. It's a Saturday night thing. That's why I can't spend five fucking hours at Kroger (Don't own them. How many disclaimers are there?) counting all my change because it's uneven. And no, I don't watch like change her clothes, that's weird. I mean, she where's a fucking leotard. I see all I need to see in a days worth thank you very much.
She's just really peaceful when she sleeps. Like an angel in blue. OKAY, DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT! I SWEAR IF YOU DO, I WILL EAT YOU! I'M NOT JOKING!
But while on the topic of angels, when she had just defeated Trigon, she literally looked like an angel. With her white cloak and everything. But then she has the fucking nerve to hug ROBIN ( THE NOT BAD ASS ONE!) Like, THE HELL? I COULD HAVE SAVED YOU FROM A MOLTEN LAVA PIT, BUT THE SCRIPT SAYS OTHERWISE! Damn it. So I had to freak out and then give a hug. I had to GIVE her a hug. BULLSHIT. And then when we got back to the tower, I gave her some of my tofu bacon. I SPECIFCALLY made enough tofu bacon for ME AND ME ONLY! But no, I was nice enough to give her some. I know she doesn't like tofu but, it's the thought. At least she didn't throw it on the ground.
Wait, most of this rant has been about Raven. Why is that? Okay, I'm gonna go read her rant and see how much she talked about me. AND IF YOU TELL HER OUR LITTLE SECRET, I WILL EAT YOU! AND I'M SERIOUS, I'VE GOT THE BBQ SAUCE ALL READY!