Warning: this chapter contains some non-explicit heterosexual Regina/Graham sex, but trust me and don't let that deter you.

A/N: Inspired by Metric's "Lost Kitten"

"Fine, you're on," Regina shook Graham's hand to seal the deal, "This is your most ridiculous idea yet."

"I'm well aware, Madam Mayor," He grinned and added, "Bet starts now."

Graham walked out Regina's door, ran a hand through his hair, and pulled out his phone to dial Emma straight away.

The idea took root during some active pillow talk between Regina and Graham. Regina never seemed to be able to get Emma off of her mind. It was supremely annoying for Graham, especially now, as he popped up from between the sheets panting in wasted effort. He studied Regina's distracted and tense face; she looked like she was about to scream at him. He had already told her ten times to stop thinking about her undying hate for Emma; it was doing neither of them any good.

Unfortunately for Graham, Regina demanded that she cum before he even thought about his pleasure, and now they were going on an hour and nothing-no release for anyone. Regina turned her gaze away from his with an annoyed sigh, while she forcefully pushed his head back down beneath the covers. He went dutifully back to work, trying every trick and flick he knew that usually did the job well enough.

"Can you believe she took a chainsaw to my tree? You should have arrested her again. Where does she get off, hmm?" Regina continued to lament out loud from above.

This was it. Graham burst back up, "Where does she get off? Really? I'm trying to get you off, and that is not going to happen if you keep thinking about her!"

"I can't stop!" Regina was completely stressed, "I can't get her out of my head. Trust me: it's as terrible for me as it is for you."

"Obviously, this isn't working. Maybe I should go," Graham untangled himself from Regina and started to gather his clothes.

"No, wait! Don't go… I really need this! Please…I'll stop thinking about her," Regina promised in fear as Graham slowly crawled back into bed.

Knowing her personality, he couldn't really fault Regina for her obsession with Henry's new found birth mother. In fact, he thought Emma was beautiful and hot and had his own fair share of trouble keeping her off of his mind as it was. That's when the realization occurred to him:

"Maybe instead of trying not to think about her, you should try to think about her just a little differently," Graham suggested, afraid Regina might not take kindly to his idea.

"Like what?" She asked curious.

"She's pretty, don't you think?" Graham didn't notice much, but the way Regina had stared at Emma's body from the moment they met wasn't lost on him.

Regina rolled it over in her mind. She couldn't disagree, but she still didn't see the relevance, "yes, but she's—"

"-damned hot in that white tank top, I bet she was a sight to see when she had that chainsaw," Graham dared to bring up that subject again.

"And those jeans…you should have seen the way she was looking at me with this look of determination, it was—oh!" Regina cut off, as Graham slipped back down, smiling as he got in position. This was actually working.

"-But you know the best thing? Mmm, she answered her d-door in nothing but that tank top and a pair of skimpy pink… hot pink panties…it was just—she—God, I wanted to—oh, that's good!" Regina struggled to speak as she recalled that morning; her hips rolling as Graham silently congratulated himself for finally diagnosing Regina's problem and getting her engine started full throttle.

Graham's palms sweated a bit as he dialed Emma to ask her out: "Hey, Emma..it's Graham…how would you like to join me at Granny's for some drinks and darts? Great…I'll see you in a bit."

The bet was simple: first one to get Emma into bed won. The prize: well, sex with Emma. Graham felt it necessary to state to Regina that using drugs, such as roofies, or excessive amounts of alcohol wasn't allowed. It had to be consensual and based on their wit and charm alone. Graham was pretty certain he had it in the bag. That was until his phone rang a moment later.

"Emma?...oh, really?...Some other time then," Graham hung up, and rubbed his beard in wonder. Emma had just canceled their date because Regina suddenly needed her for a 'Henry emergency.'

It was on.

Halfway starts with happiness for me
Halfway house, lost kitten in the street
Hit me where it hurts, I'm coming home to lose
Kitten on the catwalk, high-heeled shoes