How long must I wait
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: M(because I know my sick, sick mind and the boys will be men eventually)
A/N: I am shamelessly doing this for a cookie from Newbie-0.0Q, I had this idea of writing a small multi chaptered Jagan story through the years starting with them in toddler age and she beat me to the punch! We talked and reached an understanding I was offered a cookie if I didn't drop the project so here's chapter one! I think I have an obsession with Jagan and marriage…ignore it please. Well the first one is crack and my failed attempt in fluff, and it's obviously canon so Logan will be named Hortanse in this chapter, tell me otherwise and I will cry and call you doodie-heads! This is M just to be safe nothing smutty planed yet!
"They're too noisy again…" Hortanse Mitchell mumbled between angry breaths and flipped another page from his book, only he had lost all interest in it now. It had too few words which he knew most of them already, and too many pictures, and it was another fairy tale he was sick and tired of reading those, he wanted to read something more serious like the bigger elementary kids but alas he could only find fairy tales in the bookshelves of his classroom which he found it to be most tragic and cruel. His main problem although was that even though it was recess time and he was sitting in his favourite spot in the entire school yard right underneath the shade of the biggest orange tree and the sun was shining brightly in the blue cloudless sky, his fellow classmates were being too loud once more and he hated that as much as he hated the reason why they were being loud in the first place.
They were playing "pretend," a game which Hortanse actually loved and would tag right along because it meant he could be Batman, best superhero in the world and anyone who said differently was a big doodie-head because Hortanse said so and that included Kendall and his stupid little Spider-man.
But this time it wasn't just the boys, oh no, this time the girls were playing too, and they weren't playing superheroes, no they were playing something else, something so dreadful and horrid Hortanse couldn't bare look at them let alone play with them, they were re-enacting a marriage ceremony. And if that wasn't bad and disgusting enough there was even something worse, far, far worse, from all the boys, and they were more than ten which meant they were many Hortanse had concluded, one of his three best friends was picked to be the groom.
And it wasn't Kendall he was the minister because he gave nice speeches and rallied everyone up when they were playing soccer, and it wasn't Carlos he was the ring bearer even though there were no rings because they had to find a way to make him stand still and be quiet for five damn minutes, no, it was James, it just had to be James! And when Hortanse heard the boys and the girls distributing the roles amongst themselves and it was decided that Paula Disham would be the bride and James Diamond would be the groom, because they would make the prettiest couple from them all, Hortanse announced that he was not going to play and stomped out as fast as his tiny feet could carry him because he wanted to read instead, which was a big fat lie but even Hortanse didn't know why he said it.
It was his way of revenge, leaving James without a best man, in secret hope that the wedding would be cancelled, but the wedding was going on according to the icky girls' plans' and they were being too loud and Hortanse was reading another fairy tale and the world was just mean and he wished he was back home crying in his mommy's arms. Instead he was grounded right underneath the orange tree having to bare the torture of hearing the exchange of the vows mumbling snarky comments to himself.
"Do you Jamie Diamond take this girl to be your awful, wait no, lawful windowed wife?" Kendall asked all serious standing on a yellow stool because the groom was taller than him and the guests in the back couldn't make him out clearly.
"Awful and comes with a set of her own curtains! What a catch…"Hortanse whispered to himself rolling his eyes face distorted with a felling called jealousy that nobody had properly explained to him because he wasn't a jealous child usually, head hidden behind his book.
"I do..." A pale pasty James mumbled and then gulped but Hortanse only confirmed his low voiced answer by the giggle of the bridesmaids, he wished he had a rail gun and ripped them all to shreds from left to right.
"Traitor…Judas…Joker!" He growled with his tiny little throat, feeling a sudden pang in his heart that he just couldn't understand from where it was coming from.
"And do you Paula take this boy to be your lawful widowed husband?" Kendall pointed a finger at her, she started bouncing like she won the lottery and then she screamed her answer beaming.
"I do! I do! I do!"
"And after the wedding the funeral will follow! Hooray…widow! Get your act together Ken..." Hortanse grumbled not really caring if anyone heard him but none did.
"Good! If anyone here has anything to say to these two and stop the wedding like in my mom's favourite soap opera, speak now or forever hold your silence, well, not forever-forever just until we get back to class and Mrs. Caratelly asks a question..." Kendall clarified to the crowd of children. Carlos slowly raised a hand, and while all the girls glared at him in terror and utter hatred, James himself looked at him like he was his knight in shining armour.
"I need to go to the potty…" Carlos mumbled crossing his legs together, most laughed but Kendall nodded his head up and down all serious.
"I need to go too! Let's wrap this up, by the power and my vest with the logo of the best hockey team in the world the Wi1d, given to me by my mom last Christmas I now pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations! You may kiss your bride." Kendall clapped his hands loudly and every child held his breath in silent anticipation, James though gave Kendall an angry stare pouting.
"Oh, yeah and Mazal Tov too!" Kendall said apologetically at him, James gave a sigh of relief and stomped the little empty plastic water bottle with a loud bang.
Hortanse shot his head up from his book, as he saw the flustered Paula giddily bending over and turning a cheek towards James he started making calculations if he could throw the "Little Mermaid" at her in time and with enough force to crack her head open in two like a watermelon.
"Where's an Acme safe when you need one?" Then he remembered he did not have a phone and they wouldn't be able to deliver it in time and it never really worked for Willie E. Coyote so he ran out of options. He blinked fervently his big brown eyes as he saw James white as a sheet, eyes full of fear purse his lips and give his new bride the quickest of pecks, Hortanse's little glass heart broke to pieces for reasons unknown. He felt tears wailing up, his tummy hurt, he wanted to run and hide in his favourite hide-and-seek spot even if James always mysteriously could find him, he wanted to scream and shout and throw a tantrum like he did at the TV screen when they aired commercials between his favourite cartoons. But the bell stopped him cold before he took any action and he stood up, head down, wiping his moisty eyes slouching back to class like somebody just told him Santa had died, ignoring the cheers of his classmates and the saddest guiltiest look that James gave him from behind his turned back.
Hours later the four friends were on their way home trailing down the sidewalk. Carlos led the way, well, he didn't as much as lead as he bounced around describing all the delicious food his mother would have on the dinner table, Kendall had his undivided attention because Kendall was a great listener, but the newlywed and Hortanse were both silent refusing to even look at each other.
"Was I supposed to walk her home or was she supposed to come live with me…." James sighed confused with what married life would entail.
"Ummm no, I think she needs to tell her parents first and you need to tell yours." Kendall tried to give a clarifying advice but it only made James loose his entire colour.
"My mom is not going to like this when she gets home! She gets angry when I ask her things especially expensive ones! She'll want a Barbie! I have a Ken but I don't have a Barbie!" James was so distraught he didn't even care to hide his darkest secret.
"You should have thought of that before you married her then!" Hortanse snapped thinking he loved James's big scary mom even though he hadn't met the woman…yet.
"Do I need to get a job?" James asked again choking and sweating and looking back and forth to his friends.
"Jobs aren't so bad! My pappy get's to help people with his gun! And when I grow up so will I!" Carlos tried to encourage but it didn't help the panicked James at all.
"What if…what if…WHAT IF I HAVE TO ORDER A BABY FROM A STORK?!" James cried fisting chubby fingers in his perfect combed hair. It made Carlos freeze and Kendall and Hortanse give each other tired side glances, because they had the "talk" a long time ago at least from their point of view, a year for Kendall because he had a baby sister two for Hortanse because he was the most curious child, but neither had the time, strength or patience to give it to James now, especially not with Carlos present, he still thought babies dropped to earth in spaceships.
"I knew this was a mistake!" And then James turned and fell crying in Hortanse's shoulder, the sudden weight almost made them fall so Hortanse wrapped his arms around the larger boy trying to hold them both up. He patted him in back and as he felt James's large teardrops turning his blue striped shirt wet he started to feel even worse that when he saw him kiss her cheek because he hated it the most when Jamie was sad it made his chest hurt and his heart twist with even more sadness. Sadness like when his granny died or when Christmas snow melted or when he was sick and couldn't eat any ice cream, he searched his mind trying to find a way to comfort his friend.
"It was just a game you know…" He tried reason but knew that James wasn't a big fun of that; James took his games almost as seriously as Kendall did.
"My mommy plays games with something called the stock but she says she plays for keeps! Girls play for keeps! I don't want her to keep me!" Hortanse gave a sigh, he threw a desperate look to both Kendall and Carlos, a look asking for help, but Kendall was lost in his own guilt, he was the leader, at least that's what the other boys called him, he should have beat the girls and their silly little girly plan away with a hockey stick. Carlos though had a sudden stroke of genius.
"A divorce! Tomorrow we could play divorce!" But even though Kendall gave Carlos the most approving of smiles, James didn't stop crying holding on to Hortanse as hard as he could, Hortanse made a silent vow never to smother his teddy bear again feeling asphyxiated.
"She won't go for that…" James said, already having laid down his weapons, but that indescribable feeling inside of Hortanse made his heart pump and rage. He bit his lips and gently made James face him taking his head between his tiny palms.
"Do you want to stay married to her Jamie?"
"Uh-uh…" James shook his head violently.
"Do you trust me Jamie?" His sobbing friend nodded filling him with confidence.
"Then I'll get you out of this I swear on my Harry Potter books. All of them, even my back up copies." The solemn promise finally calmed James down and the small band of toddlers started to form a plan.
The next day Hortanse wore his church clothes because they were black and made him look deadly serious, but because he had to dress up all by himself locked in the bathroom he couldn't tug the shirt under his pants or fix his tie leaving it to hang loosely on his scrawny neck, so he didn't look as serious as he wanted to look. His mother tried to make him change to something casual the moment he came down, but he stalled her long enough running around the kitchen table and hiding under every piece of furniture he could find until the school bus arrived. When he heard the horn he broke into a sprint almost leaving his back pack behind dire evidence hidden within; she came after him of course but then settled on yelling that he was grounded not wanting to be late for her job, his father didn't even badge from his seat he pretended that he was reading the paper and used it to hide his face, giggling sarcastically with the escapades of his son.
The moment Hortanse entered the bus his eyes searched for Carlos, Kendall was brought to school by his mom and they picked James up on the way. Carlos had grabbed a seat in the middle of the bus just across the enemy who was showing of a ring made of plastic to her friends swearing that it was an heirloom that James gave her as a wedding present.
The two friends spoke in silent communication and Hortanse walked up to the small group of girls stomping his feet for effect and humming the Batman theme song to give himself courage. When he reached his destination and hovered menacingly above them Carlos stood up crossing his arms trying to imitate his pappy's scolding stare. The girls ignored them both quite coldly; the gesture woke the green eyed beast inside of Hortanse and reminded him why he hated girls in the first place.
He cleared his throat loudly to get their attention, that didn't work either they kept on rambling about the shade of pink she would paint the walls of hers and James's house, then Hortanse snapped a finger Carlos put his bike helmet on and took out the tucked away stolen metallic ladle he had liberated from the kitchen wear, he started banging it on his helmet and it produced clanks loud enough to irritate the girls making them plug their ears with their fingers and finally turn and face them. Hortanse smiled slyly and gave a gesture to Carlos to stop.
"What do you want nerdy nerd?" One of the girls said, Paula's best friend at least for this week, girls were fickle with their friendships Hortanse couldn't imagine his life without Carlos, Kendall and James, especially James, that was the reason the girls could stare daggers as much as they wanted to, he was unmovable.
"I am here on behalf of my client Jamie Davy Diamond to inform Mrs. Disham that he would like to file for… "He licked his lips menacingly and wished they had included a camera in their plan then he dropped the bomb.
"A DIVORCE!" He bellowed with enough force that all the other children heard him and turned to look their way staring dumbfounded and then one second later they broke into whisper and fervent discussion about the sudden turn of events
Paula looked up to Hortanse in horror with her small jaw gaped trying to catch her patted breath one of her friends, the tallest stood up to tower the boys and went to her friends defence.
"On what grounds?" She asked infuriated.
"The schools!" Hortanse retorted with a raised index finger, and she was at a loss trying to make sense.
"If you do not comply with my client's request, we will proceed to a higher authority. We will inform Mrs. Caratelly and ask her to settle this."
"She's a grown up, she has no right in our business."
"She's our teacher and we will tell her you made my client cry!" Hortanse shot back.
"When did Jamie cry?" Paula asked with a worried tone.
"Yesterday, I have a wet shirt to prove in my backpack, and if you don't let him go he'll cry again." Hortanse's shirt of course was kept wet by himself and his bathroom sink, but no need to tell her that. Paula fell in deep thought but her tall friend was relentless.
"No! We all agreed to this. Don't back down Paula. James has to take responsibility, he promised!" Hortanse squinted his brown eyes and grinded his teeth, he glared at the towering girl, he considered starting a fight pulling every strand of curly hair off her head. He had Carlos for back up and he was just as good as ten boys or one daddy, but that would make Paula mad and she would never give her consent of letting James go.
"Quiet in the peanut gallery! Sit down Mitchell!" The bus driver yelled back at them, Hortense sat in the opposite bench from the girls Carlos by his side encouraging him to press.
"Paula this was just a game it'll end eventually anyways." Hortense made his case.
"But I want to play house first…" She moaned not wanting to let go of her dreams about having the prettiest boy in the world share a table with her stuffed bunny while she asked if it be one sugar or two.
"But Paula James…"
"Drop it nerd!" Her friends cut him in mid sentence calling him names and encouraging her that she was pretty as a doll and she and James were magnificent together like Jenifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Carlos was a man of action, seeing Hortanse at a loss of words and bullied by the mean girls was all it took to push him over the edge.
"Shut your traps or I swear…" He made a threatening fist but the girls couldn't care less.
"We're not afraid of you Garcia my brother…" One other girl from the further back shot up and screamed.
"Your brother is in my brother's hockey team Sarah! You really want to go there?" Carlos stopped her cold if she wanted to bring in the big guns he knew he could count on the Garcia family code of honour.
"Mitchell didn't even play with us yesterday! Why does he have to butt in now?" Patty The Tall bellowed making Hortanses's head spin and his heart to skip beats. Yeah, why did this seem so important to him now, why was he so angry and sad yesterday, why did he want to rescue James from Paula's clutches? She wasn't that bad for a girl and James did deserve some punishment for his willingness to participate. This was only a game after all he knew that, but the idea of James belonging to someone else…not that he belonged to him….and what did that mean "belong to someone" anyways. He couldn't find any answer that felt right so he said the first excuse he could think of.
"Jamie's my friend! He's my best friend!" That was the first time in his life he said it as a lie, yes, James Diamond was Hortanse Mitchell's friend, but to Hortanse he was something else too, something more, much, much more, he settled for the word "special" but something akin to fear and shame made him lock the word in his heart and he refrained himself from using it.
"Yeah! Boys have to stick together! You just want to keep them married so you can fondle over James during recess!" That wasn't Hortanse and it wasn't Carlos either it was another boy from the back of the bus, apparently things had escalated to another war between the sexes.
The bus driver put two fingers in his mouth giving a piercing whistle to make the kids settle down but it didn't work, shouting turned to screaming, and soon the children started throwing stuff around trying to poke each other's eyes out. Carlos used his body as a shield to protect Hortanse who was so frustrated he went back to his original plan of attack. He took out the "The Little Mermaid" from his backpack and threw it with all his strength over Paula's seat, only the target had changed; Patty was the recipient not James's bride.
When they arrived at the school yard and the bus driver thanked God for His infinite mercy, the children or the little demons in human form which was a more accurate description came down with bruises and cuts and tangled hair. Kendall and James were anxiously waiting at the school entrance and at the sight of them Kendall gave a nervous smile, he could see the detention coming down on the entire class like a divine hammer of punishment, while James's mouth dropped, little hazel eyes trying to find his two best friends among the crowd. Carlos was unscathed for the most part, surrounded by the boys like a war hero chanting songs in his name, Hortanse had a torn lip and a bruised eye and his church clothes would need to go to the dry cleaner's because a juicy box had been squirted on him, he knew he was going to spend a month in his room like a prisoner on a life sentence and maybe receive a thorough spanking but he could care less. When his eyes met James's he smiled a victorious smile and walked up to him Paula of all people by his side.
"Here, you can have your grandmother's ring back." She gave him the fake ring and James made a face.
"I didn't give you that…" James coaxed out.
"Don't tell the other girls, I told them it belonged to your granny." She gave him a quick peck which Hortanse did not approve and then turned to leave.
"You have good friends Jamie." She winked back at Hortanse and then hopped up the entrance steps two at a time.
"Didn't we say no fighting?" Kendall said sarcastically but Hortanse ignored him.
"Negotiations were murder and you have to buy her ice cream for the rest of the week but you are a free boy Mr. Diamond…" James face was lighted up in seconds with a smile that made Hortanse blush, he once more fell in Hortanse's arms thanking him over and over again with a choked voice. Patty passed by them glaring daggers.
"Sissy boys…" She spat venom, and she was about to leave but James gave her a quick trip, she fell face down and when she turned back with red vengeful eyes her entire body froze when she received James's menacing glare.
"Look, here horsy girl, mess with me or mine again and it's your panties on the flag pole! Get it?"
"Whatever Diamond…." She got up pretending to have shrugged the threat off but she still checked if James was coming after her every five seconds.
"Mine…."Hortanse turned and locked his gaze in James's, he still refused to let go of the safety of the other boys embrace, James smiled and gently pushed him back.
"Yeah we're friends right?"
"He called you his best friend on the bus!" Carlos giggled behind them.
"We're not going to start numbering each other guys. Let's go to class we have a lecture and detention coming from Mrs. Caratelly let's not give her further excuse to skin our hides!" With that Kendall dashed up to the school Carlos right behind him, but as Hortanse was about to follow James grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Best friend?" James asked with an arrogant smirk that made the other boys' skin blush to even deeper shades of red.
"And your lawyer, don't you forget…" Hortanse mumbled, James nodded and took his shaking hand in his own, opened the fingers gently and deposited the little fake piece of jewellery.
"Here you go something for your trouble; it's my grandmother's ring apparently." Hortanse took it, stared at it, then at James who was all smiles, and then with an angry pout threw it back on his face.
"I'M NOT A GIRL YOU POOPY HEAD!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, pushed James down making him fall and ran to the classroom face flustered red with rage.
"…but you're still the prettiest kid in class and I'd rather marry you…" James said in whisper and then let a frustrated sigh out confused with his own buried feelings. He got up, dusted himself off and trailed to class whistling nonchalantly, it wasn't like he was in any hurry, they were still young, and James wasn't going to jump into even more marital troubles head first ever again.