MASS EFFECTS 3: What the ending shoulve been
(DISCLAIMER: I don't own nothin')
It had been many and many missions and battles and sequels since the beginning of Mass Effect had started, but it was almost at the end now. Shepard was a Paragon or Renegade and also a man or woman who had become a spectre to talk people into shooting themselves and scan planets for minerals back in Mass Effect 1, which was aaaaaages ago, like back in 2005 or something. It had been a long and hard faught but now the whole galaxy of crazy freaks had joined together into a fighting team of hope and also fighting to take on the evil communi- reapers who wanted to kill all of the things for reasons that still don't make sense even with the DLC.
All of the fight right up to the end of the game had happened but it was at the very last one where story starts, the one where the communists had stolen the citadel and everyone went to London. Shepard was sitting on the space watching all of the other spaceships fill London with millions and billions of soldiers for some reason when gots a great idea.
"NO!" Shouted Shepard as he/she dumped his/her hand on the desk in the space office "WE CANNOT ALL GO TO LONDON, IT IS FULL OF BRITISH ACCENTS AND BIG HAT PEOPLE THAT DONT EVEN MOVE IF YOU TALK TO THEM, WE MUST GO TO A DIFFERENT PLACE!"
"But Shepard, we need to get to the thingy that will let us go to citadel and pick our favourite colour" went someone, but only if Shepard had chosen to wear green socks in that space morning. "SHUTUP PERSON, WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!" And Shepard gestured angry with their other hand because its first one hurt still from deskbang.
"Do you have any ideas on what place to go to, angrypants?" said that one retardedly muscle guy and Sheppard was all "SHEPARDPUNCH!" and knocked him off of the space.
(Authors note: I think Sheppard is RENEGADE in this story)
"Actually I do have idea" Shepard went "We go here!" And he pointed to a thing that is surprise for now.
"But that would be a suicide mission! Like the one in Mass Effect 2, but with more actual suicide!" Went Liara, who also annoys me.
"But if not to suicide, we just might win the space" Went Shepard with a big smile on her face.
Back in space all of the crazy aliens had allied into a big spaceship fight for justice, but were all really surprised when the unkillable alienrobots turned out to not be killable because of all of their shields and lasers and mind control powers and bigness.
"We are fucked." said the aliens.
Harbinger was happilied away chopping spaceships in half with the megalaser when the Normand landed right on his noggin there.
"What you doin' Shep, you silly" Went Harbinger when he saw the thing that was happening that I just said.
"We boarding this spaceship in the name of space" Said Sheppy
"No, can not do" Harbinger
"Tell him what going on Garrus, I don't talk to robits" Said Sheppard and went inside, Eddy went really sad too but nobody cares.
"We are controlling this ship for justice and the American way" SSaaid Carrus. "We thought the big laser beam you got there might be really good on the other robits." He fished.
"That is not going to work, stupid non-robots" Harby laughed.
"I found the steering wheel!" Shouts Shepard and everyone went "YAY!" except for Eddy who was still cried robot tears.
After struggling with the clutch for a little minute (Shepard normally drives automatic spaceship) Shepard learned how to destroy all of the reapers with HUGE LASER. Harbigger tried to use his Jedi mind powers but Shepard punched his robot insides until he promised to stop.
"Sheepard, we got the crute- croop- cr... uh? Thing to the citud- sitted- place, what do now?" said the man
"No point jerkface (Renegade option) we already killed every reaper, including the Harbinger who we somehow made shoot himself" Shep expositioned. Everyone yayed.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Said stupid ghost kid. "Yooooooooou have to pick yoooooooour (thats how ghosts should talk, Bioware) favooooorite coloooooooour." Shepard was a massive shock and almost accidentally told the ghost what his favourite colour was.
"Go away ghost, everyone on the internet thinks you are gay." Shepard respondled but the ghost was not detergent.
"IT'S NO USE SHOOPARD, IT IS TOO POWERFUL GHOST!" Shouted Carruts.
Ghost shot them with his DESERT E- Ghost laughed at their fear and wooshed closer, in a moment he would know all of their favourite colours was. But his laughdeding stopped when his head was shot off and flew away into the space.
"Has just been revocked..." said Marauder Shields, who stood with his gun that had shot.
"Marauder Shields! Hero of the people, you have saved my day the friend!" Said Shepard and everyone went in and hugged him for he was truly the greatest man. And after this everyone went back to there home and had kickass party and nobody got stranded on earth and had to eat eachother because the mass really did not exploded.
THE HAPPY END
(Authots note: I might add some DLC to this ending if people don't understand.)