Kurt had had enough. He dreaded waking up every morning to face the locker shoves, the slurs, the abuse.
Kurt walked downstairs, hollered a goodbye to his dad and Carole. He didn't have breakfast with them anymore, let alone dinner. The last time they all had a meal times together as a newly extended family, his family kept asking him the same questions, how's school? You've lost a lot of weight…Why don't you talk anymore? Why are your grades slipping?
He wished he could confide in his dad, tell him all his problems, and make them all go away. Burt his dad is still recovering from a heart attack, Kurt couldn't ever put that much stress on his dad.
So Kurt dealt with it alone. He found himself walking into school on a Friday morning. Thank GOD it was Friday. It meant that he could get away from the torment for two whole days. Sometimes he'd be lucky, and only get 3 or 4 abusive phone calls a weekend, some telling him to burn in hell, others telling him to get off the earth.
He walked to his locker and was met with a slushee to the face. Great, and it wasn't even first period. Kurt couldn't even care less. He just let the sticky substance drip down his body to his pants. He was freezing; he was starting to feel numb. But then he'd been feeling numb for a while.
Kurt opened his locker, to find folded up pieces of paper in his locker. There must have been about 8. Some of them read the same thing:
Get out of here fag
Go die in a hole
Stay the fuck away from my locker queer
Burn in hell
Go have a sex change lady
Quit getting your germs on my desk faggot
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU
Kurt had to re read that last note. 'I AM GOING TO KILL YOU'. Kurt had never had it put so blunt like that. He remembered Karofsky in the locker room, would the note have been written by him?
Kurt dumped the notes in the very back of his locker with the rest of the collection, grabbed his books and made his way to first period.
Kurt was talking to Finn about their parent's wedding coming up, Finn wanted to do something to make him look like a stud, and Kurt was giving him a few suggestions. When Finn left, Kurt, who was clutching a cake topper for their wedding cake, turned to his locker when he felt heavy breathing on his neck. He turned around and saw Karofsky standing right behind him.
"Have you told anybody? About how you…kissed me?" Karofsky said, looking around.
"You kissed me, and-"
Kurt was interrupted by Karofsky punching him in the face. He heard people around him gasp in shock, but no one tried to stop Karofsky. He then grabbed Kurt by the neck and trapped him between the lockers.
"You get my note earlier? I meant it…You tell anyone about what happened, . ." Karofsky whispered into Kurt's ear, leaving goose bumps on the back of his neck.
Karofsky released Kurt, not before he shoved Kurt into the locker again, making him collapse onto the floor. The hallway parted for Karofsky, as they feared the same fate Kurt had just been through.
Kurt was breathing heavily after his ordeal. He looked up and saw everyone in the corridor looking at him, with pitying eyes.
"What are you all staring at!" Kurt yelled at the crowd. They continued to stare.
"You know, none of this would even happen if you all stuck up for yourselves you cowards! Have courage!" Kurt screamed through tears.
He ran past the crowd, towards the exit, and towards his car. When he got inside his car, he locked the door, and collapsed forward onto the steering wheel and just sobbed.
He eventually looked up into his mirror, and saw that a bruise was forming on his porcelain cheek; his eyes were tear stained, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
He had had enough.
He started the car, and decided to head home, he didn't want to go back into that school. Ever.
He reached his house 10 minutes later and was relieved to see that no other cars were outside. His dad and Carole were at work, and Finn must not have heard about his breakdown in the corridor today, so must not have come looking for him.
Kurt opened the front door and locked it behind him. He wasn't going to let anyone get in his way. In case Finn did come to the house to look for him, he had forgotten his house keys, so he wouldn't get in anyway.
Kurt trudged up the stairs towards the bathroom. He reached up to the cupboard above the sink where all the medicines were kept. Kurt eventually found what he was looking for, his sleeping pills he takes every night to try and get a decent night's sleep that wasn't plagued by nightmares.
He took the bottle of pills into his room, where he threw them onto the bed. He took out a pen and some paper from the printer, he wrote out a small message. He went into his memories box, and took out two pictures, one of him, his father and mother, and one of his mother in the swings with Burt pushing behind her, it looked like it was taken when they were in high school.
He shut his door and drew the curtains. He sat on his bed, and took the pills one by one. When he got to the 7th pill, he could feel them taking effect, but he kept taking them until the bottle was empty. Kurt then got into bed and lay on his side, so his back was facing the door. He clutched the pictures in his hand, he looked at them once more before fading off into the best sleep he's had in ages.
It was 6:00 pm when Burt came home from work and saw his beautiful wife in the kitchen cooking dinner. He decided to sneak up behind her and plant a kiss on her neck, she gasped out loud out of shock, then playfully slapped her husband to be on the arm.
"Where are the boys?" Burt asked.
"Well Finn's in his room playing video games, and Kurt is asleep in his bed. I peeped in a while ago; you don't think he's sick do you?" Carole asked concerned.
"I'll go up and see if he's alright," Burt said, looking towards the stairs. He pecked his fiancée on the cheeks, before going up the stairs to his son's room.
Burt opened the door quietly, and saw his son lying in bed with his back to him. Burt sat on the bed, with Kurt's back still facing him.
"Hey bud, you not feeling well?" Burt asked gently. He got no response out of Kurt.
"Kurt?" Burt started to shake Kurt awake. "Kurt, answer me." Burt was getting forceful now. He turned Kurt over so he was lying on his back when he gasped at what he saw lying next to his son.
He saw the two pictures, one of him and Elizabeth in high school on the swings in their old back garden, and another picture was the last picture taken of the Hummel family. Burt also saw the empty bottle of sleeping pills.
"KURT!" Burt shouted, he was starting to shake now, this couldn't be happening.
Carole must have heard the yelling, because she was standing behind him asking what was wrong. She must have seen the pill bottle, because she gasped and ran out of the room, downstairs and grabbed the phone to call 9-1-1.
"Kurt, please don't leave me," Burt cried, he picked Kurt up so he was sitting on his lap like he used to do when Kurt was a small kid. Kurt's limp body was so light underneath him. His head lolled on Burt's chest. Burt continued to cradle him until the paramedics came and took his son from his hold.
They tried to revive him many times, until they stopped.
"He's so cold, he must have been dead for hours," one paramedic said.
Burt just shook his head as the paramedics put Kurt's body in a body bag, and wheeled him downstairs, and out of the house, forever.
Burt continued to sob on the floor of Kurt's room; he clutched the two pictures that were the last things Kurt had held. Carole was hugging a shocked Finn, he wasn't crying, he just stared into space in front of him.
It was in that moment that Burt realised that he would never see his son again, never hear his laugh, never hear him cry, never hear him sing.
He felt a pain in his chest, it wasn't another heart attack, it was his heart breaking. He had lost Elizabeth, and now he had lost Kurt, his last connection to his late wife. And it killed him.
Burt didn't leave Kurt's room all weekend, he cuddled with the soft toys that Kurt kept hidden under his bed when he had his friends over, he would walk around the room and look at all the photo's, where Kurt was happy. Burt hadn't seen his kid smile in ages.
It was the Sunday Evening when Burt came across the note written by his son. He didn't understand the letter at all, but he still brought the small piece of paper to his chest and cried into it.
Carole offered to ring the school to notify them of Kurt's death. He couldn't be more thankful for her at that moment.
Principal Figgins held a special assembly to tell the students of the news. Those who didn't know Kurt and weren't crying had looks of shame on their faces.
When Figgins told staff members that morning before he told the students, Mr Schue asked if he could tell the Glee Club separately. Everyone was so shocked by the news, not a dry eye was in sight.
The next day, Santana and Puck volunteered to clear out Kurt's locker and give the contents to his father. There wasn't much in there, apart from musical posters, pictures of friends and family, a collage reading 'Courage' and above it a framed picture of a boy wearing a blazer who they had never seen before.
They were almost done, until Santana came across quite a large box shoved right at the back of his locker. As they were the only ones in the hallway, Santana took the box out of the locker, and placed it on the floor. Her and Puck sat around the box and Puck decided to open it.
They read all the hurtful anonymous slurs that had been written to Kurt and shoved into his locker, there were hundreds. Puck had to console a crying Santana, before putting the contents back into the box.
"We need to show this to Mr Hummel Santana, he needs closure," Puck said.
"Okay," Santana said tearfully.
When they reached the Hummel residence, it felt really strange not hearing show tunes blasting through the speakers upstairs, or Kurt singing while baking in the kitchen. The house felt empty.
Carole and Burt were seated on the sofa, looking at the box Puck had in his hand. Mr Hummel looked like he hadn't slept for weeks, let alone a few days.
"We were clearing out Kurt's locker, when we came across this," Puck said nervously, he wasn't sure how they were going to react, but he knew it wouldn't end well.
They both read the letters together, until Burt ran out of the room towards the downstairs toilet, and emptied the contents in his stomach. Carole was sobbing into her hands. Sanatana and Puck felt awkward just standing there, so went to sit either side of Carole and offer her their support.
They heard Burt go up the stairs, no one questioned him. They all knew where he was going.
He wasn't expecting for Burt to come back downstairs with another letter in his hands. He kept this letter hidden from everyone else.
"It all makes sense now," was all Burt said, before giving the note to Carole, who put it in the middle so Santana and Puck could both read it. They all had an intake of breathe at what the note said.
This is my first fanfiction to do with suicide.
Suicide is a horrible thing for anybody to go through.
I just want to say if anyone is considering suicide for any reason, please PLEASE reconsider, and talk to someone. I'm always available for a talk if you need to!
I am saying all this because I lost two friends all in one day due to suicide, and it almost tore me apart, especially since I knew them from a young age.
So please, if you are thinking about suicide, rethink your options, and talk to somebody. It may be hard, but you will get through it in the end. I promise you.
Lots of love, Aisling (CrissColferCrowe)