a/n: this is my first breanking bad fanfic, read and review fuckas! BLAST OFF IM DA BLASTA
Walter was at los porlos homonous eating a big greasy and creasy cheezburger. it was really good.
"mmmm this is really good. and fuckin greasy!" walter said with deliciousness.
walter looked at his watch. jesse was late!
"where is my paretner jesse pinkmann? he is late!" walter screamed. people started to look at him.
"yo mr white. sorry im late." jesse said. he sat down with walter. jesse was walter's partner and firend. he was super cool! the people cheered because jesse made it on time!
"hello jesse, why are you late?" walter said. he was mad!
"i dunno... bitch! please fuck with me bitch, pretty pretty please with a pound of booger sugar dipped in marmalade and meth!" jessie said.
"ok." walter said.
"hey is that a greasy cheeseburger? I want me some of that shit!" jessie said.
"yes jessie it is indeed a greasy cheese boiga. you see the chemical composition of this motherfucker is flambloozled by the gampflorbitar of the tolerance." water explained with his vast knowledge of science and shit.
"wow mr whirte that shit be mad interesting yo." jesse said with a big smile on his face. he was grinning really big and looked around at everyone because he was so happy and he wanted to show everyone how happy he was.
"indeedy it is jesse." mr walter hart write said.
"so can i have one? please pay for me, i left all my money back at my fuckin house!" jesse said.
"jesse no jesse ok jesse? god you're such an annoying little fucker" wlater said. he stoop up and pushed jesse.
"yo you wanna scrap bitch? im fuckin down to scrap bitch!" jesse said. he took mr white the fuck down and put him in an asslock.
"ahhh jesse please stop you're hurting my ass! owwie!" walter said.
"hahaha ok ya chumpfuck ass!" jesse said. he let mr white go.
"jesse! i have to tell you something in secret. i forgot to yell at this to you!" walter said.
"ok" jesse said.
"meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." water white said.
"ok why the motherfucking bathroom?" jesse said.
"because i gotta go!" walter said.
"hahahaha your so funny mr. white." jesse said. he laughed a lot at walter white's funny joke.
"yeah yeah yeah thank you jesse." walter white said.
walter white and jesse met in a bathroom stall.
"yo mr white bitch what the fuck did you need to tell me? you know what i'm saying?" jesse said.
"jesse! i have discovered something important, interesting and fucking amazing." walter said.
"yo what is that bitch?" jesse said.
"i found a secret temple where the most powerful meth in the world is made. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FUCKING MEANS JESSE? WE CAN GET THIS FUCKING SHIT AND SELL THE METH TO ANYONE AND THEY CANNOT FUCKING RESIST!" walter said at the top of his lungs.
"wow thats super fucking cool mr white, neato!" jesse said.
"i know right?" mr white said.
"where is this shit bitch?" jesse said.
"it's in a secret temple in the mexico." walter white said.
"let's go find it!" jesse said.
"yes ok." walter said.
Jesse and walter got in the RV or the meth-mobile as they fuckin called it sometimes and drove down to mexico. jesse was driving and he drove on the wrong side of the road.
"yesse! you retard! you're driving on the side of the road that's wrong!" walter white said. he was pretty fucking mad.
"oops my bad bitch." jesse said. but it was too late, a cop was following them and chasing them. it was... walter white's brother hank schrader white!
"oh no jesse. it is my fucking brother in law who is a DEEA agent!" walter said.
"AH WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE NOW BITCH" jesse said. he drove on the wrong side of the road to avoid the cop that was walter's brother.
jesse hit a bunch of fucking cars then pulled over.
"jessie, i got a fucking plan. just stay there! ok jessie?" walter said.
"ok bitch." jesse said. hank stepped out of the car.
"hey hey hey now, i know it's you who have bene making that blue fucking meth. come out with your hands up you nut fuckers!" hank said. someone opened the rv door, it was... walter white!
"walter? what the fuck are you doing in there?" hank said.
"i'm making meth! and you know what hank? i'm gonna be richer than you ever could be in your fucking dreams because i found a seceret and you know what it's gonna make me fucking rich bitch!" walter said. he put meth in his mouth and spatted it at hank like a soggy wet chewing gum.
"run! i mean! drive jesse drive! drive you bitch drive! drive away! awaaay! fucking far awaaaaaay! waaay!" walter said.
jesse stood up on the fucking gas pedal and drove off.
"ah!" agend hank schrader said as he fell on the desert ground. the meth was making him do weird things! he started to spin around on his bald head until he threw up blue vomit. then he stopped.
"oh damn man, my brother in law is making that meth stuff! wow that is so weird. i guess i gotta arrest him before it's too late!" hank said. he looked up at the sky and screamed. he ripped his shirt off and started beating the ground. he didn't want to arrest his brother walter white but he had to because he was a fucking police offer and it was his job to do the law!
"ah! I'M COMING FOR YOU WALTER WHITE! JUSTICE WILL BE FUCKING SERVED NOW BITCH!" hank said. he got back in his car and drove around in circles then went after walter and jesse!
"DRIVE FUCKING FASTER JESSY!" walter said.
"I'M FUCKING TRYING BITCH." jesse said.
"wait i got an idea!" water said.
"what might that fuckin be bitch?" jese said.
"drive off into the deser then my brother agent hank schroder won't find us!" walter said.
"ooh that's a good idea." jesse said. he drove off into the dessert away from teh highway.
"that was a good idea mr whitey. now where be that fucking temple?" jess said. walter looked hard at the map.
"it is... RIGHT FUCKING THERE! AHHHHH!" walter said. they crashed into the temple and rolled over 20 times. the R-VEE was destroyed!
"wow that was cool." jessie said.
"jessie you retarded idiot, what were you thinking?" walter said.
"i dunno, oh well let's go in the temple and find that meth you know what im saying?" jesse said.