Walt Walt Chaptie twelvy but not really its actually chapter fucking shit
a/n cars is not that bad of a movie guys ok
the theme song for this chapter is I LUV IT BY YOUNG JEEZY
they found bigfoot. the bigfootl ooked a lil like choobacca from star warz but not really cuz this is breanking bad not fucking star wars"
"JESSE! We found bigfoot. DON'T YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCIENTIFICK SIGNIFFIKANCES OF THIS DISKOVERY?" wolater said. he was happy but scared because hoo shi they found da bigfut but oh shit they gotta hide him
"mr white what should we name him" jesse said with a gleam in his eye and a tingle in his balls
"let's call him lil' meth"
"Whatever you get to name him I dont care I probably wouldnt come up with a good name"
"jesse." walt said.
"Mr white i couldnt"
"yes you can. I believe in you you little shit"
"Well fuck." walt said as his wrinkly forehead wrunked. "we gotta hide this fucker in the secret meth lab.
they brought him to walt's house.
"walt who is that?" skyler said. she was still in her stripper outfit which made walt mad
"I mean the bigfoot looking thing"
"fuck off bitch" jesse said. walt still dint know that jessie had the sex with the skylare in her sky lair. and got som jizz in her sky hair.
skyler treid to be all sexy for jesse but he wasnt drunk so he aint doing that.
then there was a knock at the door. it was hank. walt could see him outside laughing at some fucking joke he made to gomie on the phoney.
"SHIT." walt said as he farted in fear. he stripped down to his undies. "it helps me think" he explained.
"hide him in the closet BITCH" jesse said and hid him. bubt there wasnt enough room for jesse to hide neither.
hank kicked the door in with an angry face. "you're fucking in shit now walter."
walt started crying hard.
"hahah you dumbass I'm just shitting on you with jokes. its the same joke I told gomeh." hank said. "what's going on walt family. I'm here to visit. and ask if you've seen anything strange."
"strange like what" jesse said.
hank looked at him funny. like if you were in the room youd be feeling uncomfatable. like new york stlye.
"well if it fucking isnt jesse PUNKman." hank said. "wat you doin here sun."
"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" jesse didnt know what to say. walt didn't also and he farted again. it was a loud wun that made a tiny little fart at the end. It sounded so nasty and hank started laughing so hard that he cried and fell down.
after he stopped lauffin and laffin he got up.
"anyways shit so I quit the stripping job, I got promoted to the DEAE's paranormal division. not paranorman like that movie but paranormal."
"ahhh shit" walt said. "I mean ahhh shit congrumpyoulayshun!"
"fuckin hell walt amirite?" hank said. "anyways I got a call that a bigfoot is rumpin around the BBQ city. our city. that means I have to catch him and any sumabitches who are HIDING HIM."
"ahh fuck." jesse said. "you got us."
"jesse" walt said Mean
"uhh of fuck." jesse said. "I gotta go."
"me too." later. Hank said and left.
jesse stayed because hank left.
"walt are you keeping that bigfoot here?" skyler bitched. walt and jussy shot her with airsoft guns (tiz) until she left.
"alright we gotta hide him."
"mr white what are we gona do with him sell him?" jesse siad.
"fuck. he has mystical energy in him. if we do this right we could make the biggest scientifik disckuvery of all time."
"we could turn everything into meth. or at least lots of things. then sell it."
"Ok let's do it."
they took bigfoot out to their desert lab so they could do more research.
a kid rode out on a dirtbike. it was droo sharp. he waved like a lil kid.
Then T.O.D. showed up and killed him.
"hey T.O.D." walt said.
"wanna help us use bigfoot for skiens?" jesse said.
"sure" T.O.D. said. he took out a big shell fone and called hin unkle jak.
unkle jak showed up. but he looked really scared.
"guys something bad happened." unkle jak said and died.
"fuck" walt said.
"ahh fuck" jesse said.
Hank was there. he killed unkle jak
"hey walt. can we talk"
T.O.D. took off in a jetpak.
"about what...Hank?" he said in that walt way where hez like HAHHYNK
"I figured something out." hank said. he sees bigfoot and throws bigfoot trap joose at him. bigfoot was paralised!
"mr white. MISTER WIYT" jesse said criing and criing. not laffing. not anymore
"I figured out whose hisenberg"
"fuck." walt said.
"whos the one guy who cant not be seen when heisenberg is?"
hank started crying because he so sad.
"fuck walt I think I'm hisenberg." hank said and pulled out his gun at his head.
"hank." walt said because he was such a dumbass.
hank shotted himself. walt ran over.
"well he's not dead. not yet. we can fix him"
"Becuz hes family and shit jesse! FUCK. we're gonna have to sacrifice the BIG lil meth tho
"aiigh I was pretty tired of him anyways." jessse said. They killed lil' meth and used his body parts that were close to human and put them in hank. they also put some secret robot parts inside of him/.
"whoa what happened" hank said as he got up.
"you got hurt."
"it was you walty. you was heisenberg."
"MR WHITE." Jesse said. "Which computer parts did you put in him?!"
"NO." walt said. he put the ones with a word doc that said who was heisenberg!"
"I'll kill you walty." hank said. he punbed jesse in the nads and tied his dick to a helocopter rail thing on the bottom. he pushed a button on the dea machine.
then something really scarey appeared.
"I was saving this for heisenberg. now I can use it." hank said with a mean scary look on his face.
a big scary thing showed up/ it was a giant gus, tuco, and mike and the cuzins and uncle tio combined. fused with box cutters.
uncle tio was dinging all meanly and shit and it was really scaring jesse.
"all of heisy's enemiesz/' hank said hehehe.
"fuck." walt said, and quickly put together a helicopter like in lego commersails.
walt flew away, as hank flew in his celihopter and pulled jesse by his dick. and also the gusucomikezin monster chased after them. T.O.D. tried to stop him with his jet pack but he died and got ground up in the box cutter sawblade motuh. hank landed his heli on the giant head of the monstar and fused the chopper into it. jesse was now trapped with hank who wa chasing after walt in his chpper.
things werent looking good
actually they were really fucking bad for walt