Chapter One: Awkward Books, Marriage and Louis Bloody Weasley
It's during moments like these when I begin to wonder if I was dropped as a baby.
Or why stuff like this always happens around Mr Potter Saviour-of-the-Bloody-Wizarding-World.
Take the Flourish and Blotts incident for example. I can hardly bare thinking about it. That's how much it affected my way of life.
You see Mr Potter looks strikingly similar to his son, (and my best friend) from behind. That's why I ran up to him and not James when I found The Book.
'Jamesy poo,' I sang as I ran up to an unsuspecting Mr Potter. 'I found the perfect book for you.'
I held 'A Guide on What to do When you Realise You Like Other Wizards Wands' in front of my face and pretended to hide behind the book while who I believed to be James turned round. There was a sort of choking sound.
'I know it may come as a shock to you, finding out that I've discovered your-' I trailed of as I peeked out from behind the book.
'Samantha?' Mr Potter said, his eyes flickering over the title of the book.
'Ah,' I said. Face palm. 'Awkward.'
James came ambling up. 'Hey Sam,' he said. 'I would have picked up a 'Standard Book of Spells Grade Six' for you but that would involve undue effort on my part.'
Then he saw The Book.
The conversation that ensued was extremely awkward. It involved James assuring his Dad he was straight, and his Dad assuring James that he wouldn't mind if he had a thing for guys.
Anyway that was what was flashing through my head as I held a frying pan with a pancake in it. A pancake that was very much on fire.
'Fuck,' I cried. 'Do something James.'
James and I had decided to wake up early on our last day of the summer holidays to make the whole of the Potter family breakfast in an attempt to prove we're not useless.
And now the pancake was on fire.
'Deny it oxygen,' James all but screamed.
In the corner of my eye I saw Albus' trunk ready to go to Hogwarts. James saw it to. He nodded once and pulled open the lid and I flung the pancake inside almost missing. He slammed the lid shut and we waited a couple of seconds before lifting the it up again.
'It's out,' James confirmed.
'His jeans,' I moaned. 'They've been singed.'
James pulled out the burned but not flaming pancake and the jeans.
'What would Teddy Lupin do?' I said quoting the one liner that Freddy had made famous.
'Bin?' He asked.
'It isn't like he hasn't got other jeans,' I said. 'He's Albus Potter. He has more jeans than me.'
'True,' James said as he walked over to the bin. 'And he's so sure he's not gay
A second after he's thrown them away and I've washed the pan Mr Potter walked in ready for work.
We both sat at the table looking innocent.
'Duty calls eh Dad?' James asked.
'You have no idea,' Mr Potter yawned as he took a handful of floo powder. 'Rudolphus Lestrange has been sighted in wales.'
'Again?' James said. 'Wasn't he sighted in Morocco two days ago?'
'Yes he-' Mr Potter stopped and sniffed. 'Can I smell burning?'
I jolted in my seat. James tensed.
'Rudolphus is a really good name for a gerbil,' I say matter of factly.
James catches on. 'Or a hamster. What do you think Dad?'
Mr Potter raised an eyebrow suspiciously. 'Whatever you two've done, I don't want to know. Just don't let your mother find out James.'
'Who says we've done anything?' James asked.
Mr Potter looked at him in disbelief. 'Assuming you haven't done anything is like assuming Freddy hasn't set something on fire in the past week. Stupid.' Then he disappeared in a swirl of green flames.
James weighed that up in his head. 'True,' he nodded.
'Dad gone?' Albus Potter asked as he sauntered into the room looking as gorgeous as ever. Not that I like him. He's in the year below me. Jeez.
As a general rule we leave the fifth year boys to Roxanne. Ahem, Scorpius Malfoy.
I quickly surveyed Al's appearence. Red skinny jeans band T-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots.
You have no idea how much I want this boys fashion sense.
Most people's gaydar would be going of like year old mushrooms if they saw Albus right now, but I know better. Albus is as straight as a ruler.
Just ask Alice Longbottom. Albus has a rather unhealthy obsession with her.
'Yep,' James said. 'Just a second ago.'
'So,' Albus grabbed a bowl and spoon. 'Who's coming tonight?'
Translation - Is Alice coming to the 'annual last day of the summer holiday at the Burrow dinner' tonight?
'Err, basically everyone we know,' James said not reading between the lines.
'Including Alice,' I added.
'Oh, good,' Albus said. He stared of into the distance dreamily. 'I can ask why she hasn't replied to my letters, all thirty two of them.'
James snorted into his toast.
'You know, I was worried something had happened to her. Why else wouldn't she reply?' Albus said in a worried voice obviously not hearing James' snort.
'Well bro,' James said putting his feet up on the table. 'Maybe she's trying to get a message across.'
'You know Al,' I said. 'Maybe it's time to just accept the fact that she isn't interested.'
Albus looked scandalised. 'Of course she is, she knows we're getting married. I've got it all planned out.'
A door slammed somewhere at the front of the house and a couple of seconds later Mrs Potter walked in. She was the sports editor for the Daily Prophet. The Chudey Cannons V.S the Tornados match that started at two o'clock yesterday had gone on for twelve hours meaning Mrs Potter had been in the office until this morning in order to get the article into today's newspaper.
'James! Feet of the table,' she said as she put her bag on the table. 'And what's this about marriage.'
'Al thinks he's going to marry Alice,' I replied.
Mrs Potter rolled her eyes. 'Yeah? And James is going to marry Draco Malfoy.'
James aimed a shocked look at his mother and I laughed. There was no doubt that Ginny was a cool Mum.
'Scorps Dad?' Al said. 'But-'
'Mum means there is absolutly no chance. Nil. Nada,' James said. 'Merlin Al-'
He was drowned out by Lily Potter who skipped into the room humming.
'Why are you so happy?' Al frumped.
'And good morning to you too gay boy. What's got your knickers in a twist?' Lily grinned.
'Lily,' Mrs Potter warned.
'Yeah Lily,' I said. 'What would Lysander and Antonio say?'
'Or Louis,' James added.
'No,' I hit him on the shoulder. 'Louis bi, he doesn't count.'
'Speaking of Louis,' Lily said. 'Dom said he got a howler from his last snog buddy a few days ago.'
James sighed. 'Why do they do that? What else do they expect from him but well... you know.' He trailed off with a glance at his mother.
Good decision Jamie. No Aunt wants to hear about how their nephew is a man-whore.
Saying that, I'm pretty sure that the adults all know what Louis like. I mean the healer did say that having Veela genes in a male usually fucked up their hormones after they found out Louis was going to be a boy.
Apparently the healer phrased it a little differently though.
'Well,' Mrs Potter said. 'I'm going to go if you're discussing the love life of my nephew. Be ready by six to get to the Burrow... and James, do something with your hair. What will your gran say?'
'Why James, you look positively dashing?' James said.
I kicked him under the table.
'Well I'm sorry James,' Albus said as he pulled a brush through James hair five minutes before we were meant to leave. 'But we can't all have good hair like mine or beautiful red hair like Lily's. There has to be the family dunce. That's you.'
He is right. I note. Al has that sexy, flicky hair that is a magnet for girls and Lily has beautiful wavy red hair.
'How many times Al,' Lilly trilled. 'It's not red, it's strawberry blond.'
Strawberry blond then. Anyway, James hair is in a constant state of extreme messiness. Not that it looks bad on him. All the Potters are good looking. Lily in a girly way, Albus in a down right gorgeous way, and James in a healthy, glowy, boyish sort of way.
Al chucked the brush down. 'I give up,' he declared.
'Oh whatever,' James said and smirked in the mirror. 'I make messy hair look good.'
The four of us trooped into the kitchen where Ginny was trying to flatten Harry's hair. Al choose this moment to do a really excellent hair flick.
James and his Dad exchanged a look.
'James,' Mrs Potter said. 'When we get there give your grandma these.' She handed him some flowers. 'They're her favourite. Sam go with him, you both need to apologise about the hole in the ceiling you caused at Christmas.'
'But mum,' James whined. 'It was Freddie's idea. We had no idea it would end like that.'
'Really?' Mrs Potter said disbelievingly. 'This is Freddie were talking about.'
'In our defence Mrs Potter,' I said. 'Freddy told us it was a timed stink bomb, not a time bomb. We were thoroughly misinformed.'
'Why would you be setting of a stink bomb anyway,' Albus said. 'Everyone knows that the stuff they put in that is hell to get out of clothes.'
'That's not the point all,' James snapped.
'Ok Sam,' Mrs Potter ushered me into the fireplace before any sort of argument could start. 'You first.'
'The Burrow,' I yelled as I threw down some floo powder.
I'm pulled through a maze of confusion and I was utterly disorientated until I saw a light and fell towards it. A very male pair of hands caught me and rapped themselves around my waist. I blinked getting soot out my eyes and when I looked up I completely lost my trail of thought. The world around me froze as I looked at him.
Louis Weasley. Just his name is enough to send most girls into a giggling mess... and some boys come to think of it. It would be in no way a stretch for me to say that Louis Weasley is the most sensuously stunning guy I have ever met. In fact I'm more than likely to never meet anyone more beautiful than him.
Most people think Albus is good looking. In fact Al could have any girl, apart from the one he actually wants he's that gorgeous... but Louis? Louis Weasley is on a whole new level.
As I looked up at him, his blond hair had fallen across his ice blue eyes. His skin was completely free from spots or blemished and donned a tan that never seemed to fade. I was suddenly all to aware of the fact that he was holding me tightly in his arms. I could actually feel his abs through his shirt.
Ok so I'm not one of those girls who go stupid at the sound or his name, but this was way too much for me.
He was fixing me with a look. His eyes were looking straight into mine. I could feel my cheeks heating up. Actually I could feel my whole body heating up. Butterflies were playing havoc with my stomach.
I'm ashamed to say it but at that very moment my knees gave out.
And he caught me. Again.
'Oops,' he breathed in a soft whisper.
He's flirting with me. The word 'oops' doesn't really mean much but it was the way he said it. It got me so worked up. Louis has a way of doing things that made you feel like you are the only human being in the world and like his whole persona is directed towards you. I remember sometime last year, during charms he had winked at the whole class and I had felt my heart skip a beat. He hadn't been winking at me personally but it had felt like it. And I know every other girl had felt exactly the same way.
And some of the boys too. Louis was bisexual and very comfortably with his sexuality. I don't think he actually ever properly came out, he didn't need to. He was always so open about it. In fact if I look back I can't even remember a time when Louis identified as anything other than bisexual. Even in first year when I could speak to him without having trouble breathing I knew he liked boys as well as girls.
That's the problem with Louis; he has no friends who aren't his family, lesbians, or completely ruler straight guys. Not because he doesn't want to but because he literally can't because everyone even remotely attractive to the male gender becomes stupid around him exactly like I am now.
Because he's so... desirable he made a point of working his way through all the girls at Hogwarts, who were in his age range (him being sixteen), and all the boys who weren't entirely straight. Louis seemed to know everyone's sexuality even before they did. Sometimes he would be found snogging a boy who seemed the straightest of the lot.
Right at the present however my heart was about to rip out my chest. I'm sorry to say that had Louis said the words right then I would have done dirty right there with him.
'Don't worry,' Louis breathed. He pulled me closer and his hair brushed my cheek as he leant towards my ear. 'I've got you.'
'Gah,' I stuttered.
'Hmm,' Louis smirked looking into my eyes. He leant in closer and closer. He was going to kiss me. I suddenly knew what a heart attack felt like.
'Sam?' James' voice shattered the atmosphere. Louis moved his head away from mine and I sucked in air suddenly realising that I hadn't been breathing.
'James,' I said between breaths. 'Hey.'
'You okay there,' Louis asked steadying me still talking in that low voice that seemed to have so many undertones.
I nodded still not able to function properly around him. He winked at me and turned to leave after saying hi to James and mentioning something about the whole in the ceiling.
I sunk down onto the kitchen floor. James stared at me and then burst out laughing.
'Shut up,' I said weakly.
'What's wrong Sam,' Mrs Potter asked as she stepped out the fire.
James paused between peals of laughter. 'A ten second encounter with Louis Weasley was too much for her.'
'God,' I said my heart rate was still nowhere near normal. I stuck out my hand and James hauled me up. 'Now I know what sex feels like.'
'Well,' Mrs Potter said smiling warmly obviously amused. 'When you've calmed down, we'll be in the garden. The Potter family trooped out leaving me with James.
He grinned. 'You looked like you were having an-'
I thumped him before he said what he was thinking.
When James and I walked into the garden we realised we had walked into a bit of a scene.
'How many times Potter?' An angry looking girl (namely Alice Longbottom) yelled. 'I am not interested.'
The rest of the Wotter-Scamander-Longbottom-Honorary Family Members clan (I fitted into the honorary family member section) were watching the fight with interest, including the adults.
'But sweetheart,' Al said. 'We're meant to be together, its fate.'
You have to feel sorry for the boy don't you?
'For Merlin's sake potter,' Alice yelled. 'Piss of.'
'Language,' Alice's mother yelled from across the garden.
'Now this is interesting isn't it,' Roxanne Weasley appeared next to us with her best friend Alex. Alex was a sweet girl and another honorary family member, but she was overweight.
'It is,' I grinned. 'What happened?'
Roxanne laughed. 'Al asked her what colour napkins she wanted for the wedding.'
'Ah,' I said. 'I'm guessing she didn't take that to well?'
'Nah not really,' Alex grinned. 'On a different note, I heard you had a run in with Mr Louis Weasley.'
I felt James supressing a laugh next to me.
'Yeah,' I muttered.
'Don't be embarrassed,' Alex said. 'I'd have reacted in exactly the same way. Of course he would never look at me like that...given how I am,' she finished sadly.
I felt a tad bad when she said that. Alex hated the way she looked. I didn't know what to say but James saved me.
'Aw, don't be like that Alex,' James said. 'One day, someone will sweep you of your feet.'
See that's James. He always knows what to say.
'Anyway,' Roxanne nodded over to a corner of the garden where her twin Freddie was involved in a lip lock with a girl in a rather short skirt. 'Best go save him from Gwen. I've told him so many times to just dump the slag, but it's all 'oh I don't want to hurt her feelings'. Err, newsflash, she doesn't have feelings. Seriously.'
She bounded over to Fred with Alex in toe before literally ripping Freddy of Gwen and frog marching him to the burgers with Alex. Freddy looked relieved and Gwen looked furious. She looked around to make sure no one had seen the sceptical and glared at James who was glaring right back at her. I knew why, since Gwen came into the picture about a month before the end of last term Freddie had started to be much more reserved and much less prone to setting things on fire.
And Freddie without fire is just no Freddie at all.
Freddie is one of the sweetest, funniest guys I've ever met. He deserves so much better.
'She needs to go,' I muttered.
'Obviously,' James said. 'And it's up to us to rescue him.'
We turned to each other and shook hands.
'What are you two shaking on?' Grandma Weasley said coming out of nowhere. 'If it's another time bomb-'
'Gran,' James said and pulled her into a cobra tight hug which I joined in with. 'How are you?'
Grandma Weasley pulled away but she was smiling slightly. 'Hugs aren't going to get you anywhere. 'What are you planning?'
'Ah just the downfall of Gwen,' James said.
Grandma Weasley's Expression instantly changed. 'You know what. I'm not going to stop you. I never did like that girl.'
'Grandma,' I said. 'No one likes that little bi- I mean girl.'
'Well,' she said. 'I'm just going to go and get a peach brandy and pretend I heard none of this.'
And what do you know? She did just that.
I looked back to Al and Alice's argument to see Alice chucking pieces of parchment at Al.
'And you can have your stupid letters too,' she was screaming.
Al however seemed unfazed by her reaction. He turned to Scorpius Malfoy his best friend (and Roxanne's younger boyfriend) and said rather loudly, 'She totally wants me.'
How did this happen I thought. The world must be against me. I was calmly minding my own business when Vic and Lysander decided to sit next to me and discuss Vic and Teddy's marriage. I had nothing to do with it. Really.
'So have you decided? Sleeved, strappy or strapless?' Lysander pressed Vic.
'Oh strapless of course.' Vic said. 'But I'm not sure which white to pick. I mean, there are so many.'
'I know!' Lysander gushed. 'I mean what's a girl meant to do? Pick them all?'
Err Sander? However much you may wish, you aren't a girl.
I sensed James glaring at me from across the table. What? Ok so, this is my fault. I mentioned Al and Alice's argument which lead on to Al planning their wedding, which lead onto Vic's wedding to Teddy Lupin.
Ah Teddy Lupin. My first ever crush. Damn you Victoire.
Actually not really. Vic's lovely and I got over Teddy ages ago. Totally.
Antonio Zabini, Lysander's boyfriend is also glaring at me. He's not as girly as Lysander and really couldn't care less about the wedding.
Then he smirked at me.
Ok. Not good.
'So sweetheart,' he said to Lysander. 'I heard Sam here has a thing with Louis.'
I groaned as Sander stopped mid flow and looked at me. Good way to change the subject, but at the price of embarrassing me.
'Really?' He said. 'You know he's just going to break your heart honey.'
'Yeah Sander,' I waved him of. I looked down the table to Louis who was laughing with Roxanne and a blushing Alex. 'I know.'
'Good.' Sander said. 'Because. He. Is. An. Arse.'
With every word he stabbed his potatoes until one flew of the edge of his plate.
'Shh honey,' Antonio lent forward and kissed his neck. 'It's ok.'
Yeah. Louis was not only Lysander's first kiss but also the one who had outed him as gay in the process. The kiss had been in the middle if the busy Griffindor common room. Sander couldn't help but kiss back, I mean, it was Louis Weasley. Who wouldn't? Anyway, long story short Louis broke Lysander's heart, but Antonio fixed it.
'Yeah I know,' Lysander said and turned his head to give Antonio a chaste kiss.
I swear every female at the table sighed. They are such a cute couple. Lysanders a cute blonde boy and Antonio is a taller, tanned, handsome guy. Together they give of an air of innocence, whether they are actually that innocent, I don't know.
'Ugh,' James covered his eyes. 'No PDA.'
I kicked him under the table. 'You are such a two year old.'
At the other end of the table Lily was doing her best to flirt with Teddy Lupin who was completely oblivious. But then again Teddy was oblivious to most things and he was certainly oblivious to the fact that most of the teenage girls on this table had had a crush on him at one point or another.
Teddy may have been unaware of it but he had caused quite a few fights amonge the Weasley and Potter girls. It was almost a fact of life that if you had one of those sir names, at one point in time you would fall for Teddy, including me and Alex. It was only natural. I think the only ones to escape this was Dom who only ever had eyes for her boyfriend Rory and Roxanne who never understood it.
I smiled remembering a conversation between me, Alex and her in first year.
'But I don't get it,' Roxanne whined. 'He's Teddy Lupin. Teddy Lupin!'
'If you don't get it, don't try, but I'm going to marry him when I'm older,' I retorted. 'So is Alex.'
'You can't both marry him,' Roxanne said.
'He's Teddy Lupin. He'll figure something out,' Alex replied and I nodded in agreement.
Roxanne gaped at us and was about to say something when there was a crash from the far side of the library.
It turned out that it was Teddy and he had fallen of a ladder while trying to reach a book on the top shelf.