I do not own Adventure Time or Red vs. Blue characters. I only own this story.
Sarge: Hello, I'm Sarge form the hit internet show, Red vs. Blue.
Church: And I'm Church, also known as Epsilon, from the same show, and today we want to talk about Cartoon Network hit show, Adventure Time.
Sarge: And luckily for us, we have Finn the Human and Ice King with us today. How do you guys feel about being on our PSA?
Finn: Great, I can't wait to see what adventures I can go on at Blood Gulch.
Ice King: I want to see your princesses so that I can take one home and marry her.
Church: O we don't have princesses, but you can sure have Tex. She is one hard ass bitch to handle; she tried to kill us so many times.
Ice King: I can us my love mittens to love her.
Finn: Have you guys fought any monsters here?
Sarge: No. But we fight each other, hurt Grif, be able to work together, hurt Grif, fought AIs, hurt Grif, fought Freelancers, hurt Grif, went on quests, hurt Grif, fought the Meta, hurt Grif, fought Tex, hurt Grif, fought Meta and Wash, hurt Grif, on a quest with Wash and Caroline and did I mention that we hurt Grif.
Finn: Yes you did, a lot.
Church: So how is your life?
Finn: Been going out with Flame Princess for a couple of months. Fought monsters, and saved princess.
Church: You have a girlfriend; worst mistake in my life was dating Tex 'Bang. Church's body falls to the ground.' Great, now I have to talk in my AI form.
Ice King: I just had been stealing princess, nothing much.
Sarge: Hey Finn, can I borrow your sword?
Finn: Sure, why not? It is made out of Demon Blood. 'Gives the sword to Sarge.'
Sarge: Hey Grif, I have something to give you for being a great soldier.
Grif: I can't come over Sarge.
Sarge: And why not? 'Camera changes to Grif and LSP.'
Grif: Because I'm with LSP for our next interview. Plus I feel too lazy to walk and Lopez won't let me drive the motorcycle. He thinks I will destroy it. Hello LSP, how do you feel about being her?
LSP: Oh my Glob! Why are you in my biz, and where are some freaking pancakes for my dump truck!
Grif: Bitch, you better not put a fucking hand on my pancakes. My sis made them for me.
LSP: What did you just call me? For your information I AM a princess and you need to treat me with Respect!
Grif: No I do not have to! Here you are just like everyone else. Being loyalty will not give you the right to PUSH ME AROUND LIKE A FUCKING SALVE!
Sarge: Grif, you better let our guest treat you the way they want. Don't make come down there and kick your lazy ass!
Grif: Great, even Sarge wants this bitch to push me around. How is it being on a show?
LSP: It is so boring being on a show that is not about me. I think Adventure Time with Finn and Jake should have been known as Lumpy Space Princess and her amazing lumps. My show so would have had more fans.
Grif: We should probably go on to our next guest before any thing else happens to me.
LSP: No, this PSA of yours is going to be boring without me staring in 'camera changes to Tex and Flame Princess,'
Tex: Hey I'm Tex, and I am with Flame Princess. I had been told that you and Finn have been dating for a couple of months. How is your relationship going?
FP: We are doing great! We are about to take it to tier 5. I had been told that you used to date Church.
Tex: You do not know how hard it is dating that dick head. When ever he, his team or the red team get into trouble, he needs me to get them out of their mess.
FP: Wow, you too. Finn is a great boyfriend, but when ever he gets near the ocean he just stands there until someone moves him. He can save princess, but he also needs to be saved to.
Tex: Don't even get me to talk about his best friend Caboose. I try talking to him, and he would start saying things that don't even make sense.
FP: Jake is also like that. The first time I met Finn, was actually Jake's stomach and Jake then broke my heart and I chased after him. But he was also the one who got me to met Finn and I felled in love with him.
Tex: At least you love him. The Director programs me to like Alpha, and then Epsilon brought me back so that he could still love me. Damn, my love life is a fucking mess.
FP: Don't say that. I'm sure that you guys will learn to love each other again and won't find hatred in each other. I was about to hate Finn and maybe joined the Lich. But I truly love him.
Tex: You don't get it do you? We can't have kids, we won't grow old together, I won't be able to poison his food and I won't live longer then him. We are program to live forever.
FP: Like Jake said, "Love like yours will always find a way." 'Camera changes to Donut and Doc with the Lich.
Donut: Hi I'm donut.
O'Malley: And I'm O'Malley and we are with the Lich.
Donut: O'Malley, I thought I told you that Doc needs to help me with this interview. Lich has you visit here been wonderful as you thought it would be like?
Lich: No, I have to see all these faces and I can't control any of them because that AI won't let me.
Doc: Yeah, O'Malley always has been like that. He wants everyone to obey him and help him conquer the galaxy.
Lich: He also wants to take over the galaxy. I think an alliance with him might help me destroy Ooo.
Donut: Seems like that you and O'Malley can have play dates, slumber parties and can paint fingernails, put on makeup and all those fun party games.
Lich: What is wrong with your friend?
Doc: He has been like that ever since he out on that pink armor.
Donut: It is not pink, it is lightest red.
Lich: Is everyone here acts like this?
Doc: No, just him. He can't help being him. When might be able to get his armor off and it may stop.
Lich: That will take to long. O'Malley want do you think about Donut?
O'Malley: I feel like he should be the first one to die and start our conquest on taking over the world. Wait, I have a better plan, you should control his kind.
Lich: Okay, I have been waiting to do this for a long time. Lich controls Donut's mind
O'Malley: So, how is it? Lich just stares into space with a worried face. Hey big guy, how do you feel.
Doc: O this is just great. Look what you did to him.
O'Malley: Shut Up bitch. If I can control him, I may be able to do things without you for once.
Doc: I thought I told you no more cussing and to be nicer.
O'Malley: You know I will never listen to you!
Spoiler Alerts with Junior and Gunther.
Gunther: Wank, wank, wank.
Gunther: Wank, wank, wank, wank.
Jr: Blarg, Blargy, honk honk, blargy honk.
Gunther: Wank wank, wank, wank.
Jr: O Blargy Blarg, honk Blarg.
Gunther: Wank wank wank.
Jr: Blargy, Blargy, honk Blarg.
And that has been Spoiler Alerts with Junior and Gunther.
'Camera goes to Caboose and Jake'
Caboose: Hi I'm Jake and this is Caboose the dog.
Jake: I'm actually Jake the dog and your Caboose
Caboose: But my lines said that I was Jake.
Jake: No, you were just reading my parts.
Caboose: Really? I was talkin to best friend Princess Bubblegum about what lines are mine.
Jake: No, you weren't talking to PB, you were talking to Church.
Caboose: Who is Church? I never met a Church in my life or went inside one. Hey what time is it?
Jake: You aren't Finn, your Caboose. Why can't you get your lines right?
Caboose: Have you met my girlfriend Lady rainicorn? We have been dating for a very long time.
Jake: Caboose that is my girlfriend. Your girlfriend is Shelia.
Caboose: The only girls I know are Lady and that mean old Miss Crabby pants.
Jake: So you can remember Tex, but not anyone else.
Caboose: Who is Tex? I am talking about Finn's girlfriend Marceline. He told me that Glob created them out of his old girlfriend and himself.
Jake: No Caboose, Tex and Church are made for the Director's love life.
Caboose: No, it was Glob. If you would be kind, I would like to go find the Lich and give a big hug, Tucker.
Jake: For the last time. My name is Jake! 'Camera goes to Simmons and Princess Bubblegum.'
Simmons: Hello, I'm Simmons and with me is Princess Bubblegum, the smartest person in Ooo.
PB: Thanks you Simmons. It has been an honor to be with you on this PSA.
Simmons: I would like to talk to you about on how hard it is doing our jobs.
PB: I can agree on you there. Being a princess and ruling my kingdom I got to miss out on dating Finn. Man, sometimes I wonder how it is nothing being a princess.
Simmons: Being second in command means I can't get to do all the cool stuff Sarge can do. I once tried to run for leadership at his own funeral.
PB: Wow, you really want to be in charge. I don't think being a Queen of a kingdom would get easier for me.
Simmons: Especially when people call you QB. Hey QB, throw the football to me.
PB: Uh, what are you trying to do?
Simmons: I was trying to make a joke. Damn, another joke failed.
PB: How have you been working with Rooster Teeth?
Simmons: It has been great. In season 8 I got to jump onto a moving warthog or puma to some people, while it was moving. I also get to us the rocket launcher in 2 seasons.
PB: How is it being in 10 seasons of a show?
Simmons: You get to see people you love to work with and other people that you can't stand, mostly the blues. How is it being on a hit cartoon show?
PB: It is a fun thing to do with friends. The only thing I don't like about it is when I get capture by the Ice King or by the Lich.
Simmons: Man, I know how you feel. I was a prisoner with Doc by Meta and Wash. Things didn't turn out great, but know I have to work with him for some reasons.
PB: Me too, I don't like working with Marceline. Where is Marceline, anyways? 'Cameras go to Tucker hitting on Marceline'
Tucker: Hey I'm Tucker and with me is the sexy vampire queen Marceline.
Marci: You know I will never turn you into a vampire.
Tucker: Come on. We can have all sorts of fun with you. Like make our own special vampires babies. Bow-chicka-Bow-wow.
Marci: What is up with bow chicka bow wow?
Tucker Oh, I do it when I hear a sexual joke.
Marci: Look, if we do date, I will never go to tier 14 and 15 with you.
Tucker: Bow chicka bow wow.
Marci: That is so annoying. Why can't you stop doing that?
Tucker: Because that is how I show that I like a girl. And if you want to hear things that are annoying, you should try talking to Caboose. He will threaten to cut off your head and send it to Church as a gift.
Marci: Ok. But nice sword, can I use that for a second.
Tucker: Why not? Gives her the sword.
Marci: This stupid thing is broken. Why won't it work?
Tucker: That happens to everyone, except me. I got it before an alien got it.
Marci: You met aliens?
Tucker: Yes I have. Also they made me pregnant and I had Junior as an alien son.
Marci: You had a son that was an alien?
Tucker: Yes, it was great when he came out. The only babysitter I hire is Doc. And one more thing, are you a vampire that sparkles in the sunlight?
Marci: No I am not. I will die if I get into the sun.
Tucker: Good, I would have killed you. 'Cameras go to Lopez and Lady Rainicorn.'
Lopez: Hola soy López y esta es Lady Rainicorn. Qué imbécil decide emparejar las dos personas que no pueden entender cada uno de otro idioma.
LR: Eu sou Lady Rainicorn do Tempo de Aventura e eu estou com um robô muito sexy.
Lopez: Grande, el único momento en que me puede entender es cuando digo algo estúpido. Estas perras no entienden que no puedo entender coreano. Debo dejar de hacer mis clones de sí mismo.
LR: eu deveria romper com Jake e sair com Lopez. Pelo menos ele não será tarde para passar mais tempo comigo.
Lopez: Todos ellos son idiotas, no pueden entender que yo no les ayudará. No puedo esperar para Sarge a morir y me cargo el equipo rojo.
LR: Nós provavelmente deve começar a sair para voltar ao Ooo. Precisamos começar a filmar novos episódios.
Lopez: Yo cometer suicidio perras. Adiós y un largo etc. Nunca se oirá de mí otra vez. A menos que esas perras de espalda en el Rooster Teeth todavía me necesita.
I couldn't get Lady Rainicorn to talk in Korean with my translator so I used Portuguess.