AN: Hello all! Long time no see. I am back here simply to re-post my stories, since they seem to be in several places for download. I figure it might as well be where I can see them and one place for you to enjoy them. If they get booted by Fan Fiction they may end up at The Coffee Shop. We shall see. Thinking of re-editing them but don't have time at the moment. The posting of the stories will not be quick. Thanks.
For Spanish readers this story is still on FranBells profile where she was in the process of translating.
Edited by MarchHare5
Gentle Won't Do-Chapter One
Tanya was so beautiful. I felt lucky the day I met her; I was 24, and though I'd had plenty of relationships and was definitely a relationship type of guy, my dating always lacked a little something. An appetite.
Or maybe a better way to put it was that my appetite was always a little too strong for those I got involved with. I liked heat in the bedroom or anywhere for that matter. I liked to be in control, and it was hard for me to have what people might call a „normal‟ physical or emotional relationship without it.
Since I was 14 I'd been having sex. Some girls liked it and some didn't but usually the relationships would never last. The women I dated would become frightened or just plain freaked out and run. As hard as I tried to be more like everyone else, it just didn't work for me.
By the time Tanya Denali had come into my life, I decided it was time to try really hard to tone down that appetite and be the man who might one day be more for her. A husband even?
It's true, that I wanted all those things. I wanted to eventually settle down and have a wife and kids. Not now but someday and at the rate I was failing with the opposite sex I was becoming afraid I'd never fit in well enough to have all that. Deep down I was a romantic at heart, a romantic with a side of hot sauce but still I knew how to be thoughtful and sweet.
So when I met her, I pretended for the first time in my life that I was happy with „normal‟. I romanced her; I took her on dates and always went the extra mile for her. Roses, candy, movies with holding hands, long rides in the country, picnics, you name it, if I saw it in the movies and it seemed romantic, I tried it.
I even made us hold off on having sex or making love, whatever you like to call it, until I felt it we'd waited long enough that there was no way I could not be ready. If you will.
We'd been dating 4 months which for me was quite a record with no sex and any of my ex-girlfriends will tell you straight up that is the honest to God truth. I masturbated like the end of the world was coming but that was simply a necessity.
On our 4 month anniversary of dating, I took her out to a nice dinner, we saw a film and then I took her back to my place. I cared so much for Tanya that I had no doubt everything would be okay. She was into me just as much as I was into her.
We stumbled into my apartment half toasted and quickly went to the couch for a making out session. I wanted this to be the night we moved our relationship into a more physical side but I knew I wouldn't push if she wasn't ready. She held my hand firmly while I kissed her neck.
Moaning softly as she always did, I was immediately feeling ready for action. I found her lips and sealed her mouth with my hot wet kisses and let my tongue ever so gently touch hers. She giggled.
"Oh, please Edward." She moaned and I smiled as my lips traveled down her bare arm. I bit her firmly and then immediately regretted the action. I looked up at her face as she looked down at me annoyed. She ran her fingers over her arm where I‟d left small teeth marks.
"Edward that hurt."
"I'm sorry baby." I told her kissing the spot. "I just really want to make love to you." I told her as my throat went dry.
She pouted a minute but then nodded that she wanted it to. So we got up and went to my bedroom. She said she wanted me to be sweet and gentle. To really make love to her and I promised I would. Try anyway.
I kissed her gently, told her I needed her and began removing my clothes. I took hers off slowly kissing along her skin, trying to be gentle yet sensual. I caressed her and slowly my fingers wandered to her warm wet folds between her legs. She moaned and squirmed, my mind was running wild with what I really wanted to do but I kept pulling myself back.
Soon she started to pant and beg me to join her but I looked down and realized I wasn't even remotely ready. My erection nonexistent. She was so close to coming and though everything I was doing excited me in my head, my body as always wanted more. It begged for it.
"Do you, do you have a vibrator?" I asked her not wanting to disappoint her or bring attention to my lack of excitement but she just stared at me like I‟d come from another planet.
"Edward, I don't use stuff like that, I want you." She sat up and noticed my situation right away. She was still out of breath and I was completely embarrassed. She tried to lean forward to touch my deflated cock but I gently pushed her back.
"I'm sorry Tanya." She looked heart broken and wouldn't even let me finish her off.
"What did I do wrong?" She asked me nearly in tears. "Am I not pretty enough?"
"Oh, God honey no, it isn't that." I tried to touch her but she pulled back. She obviously couldn't believe that she couldn't even get me in the mood.
We sat silently unmoving for some minutes when I decided it was futile not to just be myself. I'd just ask her and if she didn't like it fine. "Tanya, how do you…..feel about…you know. Bondage." I said the last word like I was peeling a bandage off a particularly painful wound. I didn't really want her to hear it because I knew like most women she would imagine the worst and call me a pervert.
I wasn't completely off. She quickly got up pulled on her panties and tears started running down her face. "I wanted to marry you!" She squealed and I just sat there unmoved by it all because I knew very well I never should of mentioned it. The last thing I heard was her sniffling as she closed my front door.
So herein lays my problem. I need rough sex, I needed to be controlling, and I needed all this to feel even remotely happy mentally. Not to mention sexually. I mean not that I couldn't get it up at all if I wasn't doing those things but I definitely had to have a certain connection with the girl to even be able to do that and I still craved to be in control.
I had been like this as far back as I could remember. Even when I was young and just jacking off in my room, my fantasies contained ropes, whips, chains, gags, and total submission by my fantasy girl. It would be some years before I realized that I wasn't just crazy, that this was a need for a lot of people.
My mistake had been believing I'd find a girl who would like that somewhere in my neighborhood or at work. I mean I didn't have a playroom or anything. I wasn't really ready to go that far, I just wanted someone who didn't mind being rough and give into my desires. Someone who'd be willing to experiment with me but most of all I wanted a women I could love who could also love these things about me.
That's when my best friend Jasper Hale gave me the number to a very exclusive escort service in downtown Chicago called On the Down-Low.
It actually posed as a bar and night club. However, the upper 3 floors contained ladies who specialized in different kinds of sex and no joke this place couldn't have been found on a map. I had lived here all my life and had even been to this bar before but had never realized what went on upstairs.
It had apparently been operating since the early 1900s. Was owned by the same family throughout all this time and it prided itself on having clean, healthy gorgeous women at a cost. The utmost privacy was expected and you couldn't even just recommend it to a friend unless you were a trusted customer. Apparently Jasper was and we were best friends.
The fact that I never knew he used this service tells you a lot. The night he handed me a piece of paper with the owners phone number after spending all night telling him how miserable I was, I laughed at him. We were in fact drinking in that bar that night while I drowned my sorrows, he just stared at me and smirked.
"What's this?" I figured he'd just given me another girl's phone number.
"The owner isn't here tonight but I think you might want to try this, Edward." He said all cryptically and I wanted to just hit him over the head with my beer.
"Try what?" I asked willing myself to be patient with my good buddy.
He motioned with his eyes to the ceiling and then scooted closer. "There are escorts upstairs."
My eyes went wide and he put his fingers to his lips to shush me should I get loud as I probably would of. "Escorts?" I mouthed and then felt kind of angry he'd think I'd need something like a paid date.
"These ladies are special." He winked and took a swig of his beer. "Just give it a try, call Earl and let him know I referred you and whatever you do don't talk to anyone about this. It's you know, ON THE DOWN LOW."
I scoffed at his offer but being that he was my friend I decided a few days later that it could be worth a try and if it proved not to work, I would just move on. I knew one thing I was tired of being alone and feeling like an outcast.
I called Earl the owner on Thursday morning before work like I was told because that is when he takes new appointments. He faxed me a 12 page questionnaire which basically detailed that I'd had all my shots, I'd been tested for diseases, and I had no criminal background and never had any domestic violence disputes. I had to detail the kind of woman I was interested in, what my reasons were for seeking this type of establishment. If I preferred a certain kind of sex, which of course. Yes, I did.
Upon marking yes on that I still felt a bit funny putting myself in a certain category only. Sure I probably wouldn't come away from this a healed man or realize that my problems were now going to disappear. I still wanted to learn to have "normal" sex as well. Or at least be able to function no matter what the girl wanted or expected from me.
Deep down I was doing this because I was lonely and I had needs that had been unfulfilled for too long now. I figured maybe getting it out of my system might help me to become more level headed about my approach to sex. After filling out all my likes, dislikes, needs, and then signing a legal confidentiality agreement I faxed it back to Earl and by that afternoon was given a number. My number I was told would be my name the entire time I used their establishment.
Mine was 1911. I was told if I chose to use another name in the room with the lady, it would be between the two of us but it shouldn't be my real name. Within 24 hours I'd be informed if a lady was available. I chose to be with one woman, one who while contracted with me would be with no other clients until we voided our agreement but that meant I must see her and pay the fees at least once a week. I may like to get freaky but I was still a one woman man.
Friday night after work I waited nervously for the call I had been waiting for. After the agency chose the right girl for me, she'd be calling me for a pre meet chat, to make sure we both still wanted to proceed. I was nervous but I was also excited. I needed someone physically yes but I was also interested to see what kind of girl it would be. I adored women and having a companion was the thing I missed most about being with them.
I hadn't been with one in just a month but it was enough to make me insane.
When my phone finally rang, I picked it up and took a slow deep breath. "Edward Cullen speaking."
"Number please, sir."
"One Nine One One." I spoke with a shaky voice.
"One moment sir." I could hear the phone line make noises and little beeps and whistles. Finally I heard a sweet sultry voice speak.
"Hello, Nineteen Eleven how are you this evening?" My hands started to sweat.
"I'm well, thank you for asking." I could hear her gentle breath over the phone and I relaxed back into my couch thinking I could just sit here and talk all night. She at least sounded wonderful.
"Do you want to meet tonight?" She asked hesitantly and I knew from reading the contract this wasn't protocol. Most of what happened between us would be up to the two of us, as long as we agreed. She could make me wait up to a week if she wanted to though, spending most of our time talking on the phone, just so she'd feel more comfortable when we came face to face.
I had to keep reminding myself this wasn't going to lead to phone sex or anything like that, this was considered a very high class establishment.
I hadn't really expected to meet her tonight but I wasn't shy about getting this train moving. "Yes, I would." I finally told her. She let out a slow breath and then spoke again.
"Okay, come to the back of the building at 9:30 and I will bring you up Nineteen Eleven, okay?"
"Okay." I said and then swallowed hard. Shit she sounded sexy.
"Oh and I'll be holding 2 red roses." She added before we hung up. The gig was to pretend like I was just meeting my girlfriend and going up to her apartment. It was to always look like any normal setting; she wouldn't even be allowed to call me by my number at the door.
I lay my head back and felt my heart beat hard against my chest. I couldn't wait for this.
I needed this.