Title: Will Not Bow
Author: Nightshade sydneylover150
Rating: 16 for mentions of a rape.
Disclaimer: Poor, struggling counselor who couldn't afford an hour of Alan Rickman's or Severus Snape's time. How could I own? JK Rowlings and (I believe) Warner Brothers own the rights to Harry Potter and all these wonderful characters.
Summary: Sometimes the abused becomes the abuser. Sometimes they don't.
A/N: Okay, a warning people. This is NOT gen. NOR is this my typical Severus/Harry Father/Son story. I was at a training earlier this week for childhood sexual abuse (Before you ask, yes, I'm a counselor.) and we had to watch a video that sparked this. It made me think of a case study I had read as a student and a story I heard a survivor tell. This story is based on those events.
This story mentions dark things, but does NOT describe them in detail. In particularly it mentions an almost adult child being used as a tool for rape. These issues are brushed over in a similar fashion to how JK glosses over Harry's abuse, but I am allowing the affects of this crime to be seen. In other words, it is mentioned, sometimes blatantly stated, but NOT described.
If you cannot handle this, please push the back button now. I will NOT be forced to read to comments and flames about how horrible a person I am for a story that I have heard from two different sources and I have warned you about prior to you reading.
This issue exists people. You can push it under the rug, hide behind a façade of bliss, but it exists.
1 and 4 girls and 1 and 6 boys are sexually abused. You are likely to know someone who has been sexually abused, raped, or even physically and emotionally abused or neglected.
There are many faces to abuse. This story reflects one of them. You have been warned.
Now if there are no more issues, on with the story.
SS vs. HP/HP vs. SS/SS vs. HP
Severus had always wondered when Potter was going to track him down. He had always hoped that it wouldn't be anytime soon if not ever, however Severus never seemed to have any of the same 'bloody luck' that Potter seemed to be blessed or cursed with in this life.
"Severus!" Potter cried aloud spotting the old spy as he moved across the street to enter the oldest church in Coatbridge, Scotland, Saint Mary's.*** Severus knew even if he managed to get through the red door leading to the church proper that Potter would follow him.****
Even so, Severus was going to try. At least he would feel safer than he would out here on Hozier Street.*** At least in the Catholic Church there were protections against unwanted magic.
"Severus!" The brat cried again. Honestly, one would think the boy would realize that he was ignoring him. Severus made it through the red door under the glass and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the church's own 'magic' settle over him. He had been granted sanctuary and he was safe from Potter making any attempts to apparate him out of the church back to Hogwarts, the headmaster, and the world for which he had sacrificed so much of his life. It was in his father's and, oddly enough, his mother's faith did Severus learn the lesson of penance, reconciliation, and self-forgiveness.
As predicted, Potter came through the door minutes later. Severus had to hide a smile when he felt the church's 'magic' strip Potter temporarily of his own.
'So the boy had wanted to take me away. For what purpose… either way it is neither here nor there. That part of my life is over. I refuse to bow down to those who deem I should be grateful for what they have "done" for me.'
"Severus, why did you run? Do you not want to come back home? I can restore your memory if you have lost it. I know you love Hogwarts." Potter said almost in a rush.
'I see his eloquence has not risen above that of Year Sixth.'*,**
"As arrogant as ever Mr. Potter. What is it, may I ask, that makes you believe that I have had my memory distorted." Severus replied silkily.
"Well you are running away Severus…."
"Did it not even cross you infinitesimally small brain that perhaps I had no interest in speaking with you , let alone returning to Hogwarts."
Potter looked affronted. 'The boy is still delusional I see.'
"Why wouldn't you want to come back to Hogwarts? It's your home! Plus Hogwarts still considers you to be its Headmaster." The-Brat-Who-Killed-The-Dark-Lord proclaimed. "Plus, it is time for us to resume our relationship."
"Be that as it may, Mr. Potter. I have no interest in teaching, Hogwarts, or you." Severus paused for a moment. "I specifically have no interest in having or returning to whatever farce you are declaring to be a relationship."
"We had sex! We made love! You enjoyed it!"Harry shouted. "If that was not a relationship, I don't know what a romantic relationship could be."
Severus had never been happier than that moment that he had arrived for mass an hour early so he could pray. He knew he would have gotten thrown out of the church if anyone had heard the boy's shouting.
"Perhaps you should start by looking in a dictionary and re-examining your memories. I was forced by my employer and the Order to submit to you. I was drugged not only with a muggle 'date rape' drug, but also the wizarding equivalent. Of course it appeared like I was compliant." Severus smirked and then looked deep into the boy's eyes, so much like his beloved Lily's in how they were tainted with that Gryffindor nativity. "So essentially Mr. Potter, you are a rapist and I am your victim."
Then Potter did a very surprising thing. He laughed. Severus raised his eye brow. Obviously the boy had gone psychotic after the war. Perhaps even before if he truly believed the words of the Old Crackpot. Then again, Severus had heard that the boy had been abused as a child. Perhaps he had been groomed to become this?*VIII
"You almost had me there Severus. Really, I never would have believed that you had a sense of humor until we bonded."
"We did not bond, Mr. Potter. Neither did we make love, have mutual sex, or even a tryst." Severus stated plainly as if he was talking to one of the Sunday school brats he had met when he had been visiting a church across the pond. In fact, Severus wondered if the escape artist were not smarter than the waste of space in front of him.
"I never gave you permission to use my given name Mr. Potter. Nor did I ever want to. Professor Dumbledore forced me to allow it. Unfortunately for you, his order and him, he no longer has power over me nor am I influenced by his drugs."
"You enjoyed it Severus! I ensured that you came each time. You were aroused, so don't you dare tell me you did not like our love making."
"No Potter, I did not. It is not uncommon for rape victims to become aroused during the abuse. It is all about stimulation, Mr. Potter. What you did was nothing more than common rape. I am sorry you were forced to become a sexual predator, but I will not indulge your impulses nor Dumbledore's any longer."
Potter just rolled his eyes. "Severus, stop this now. It is time for you to come back home. We need to start preparing to have our children. I have indulged your fantasy for long enough."
Severus watched almost amused as Potter grabbed his wrist, attempting to pull him towards the brat, and to apparate. It seemed, however, that Potter's luck had finally run out.
"Finding that you cannot drag me back to Hogwarts, Mr. Potter?"
"What did you do Severus?"
"I did nothing Potter, the church did that for me."
"Well, enough of the games. I want to get home and I know you do."
"The only place I am going is to Mass."
"Stop joking around, Severus, it isn't funny."
"Do you see me laughing Mr. Potter?"
"Drop whatever wards you have erected to continue your fantasy."
"There is nothing for me to drop, Potter."
Potter gritted his teeth at Severus' comment and attempted to drag Severus to the door. The spawn of the devil found out moments later that he could not get Severus anywhere.
"Severus, I am serious. End whatever spells you have on this Merlin forsaken church, we can't risk being caught here when the service starts."
"It is not a service Mr. Potter, it is a mass. I would state that your observational skills are non-existent still, but you have already proven this fact multiple times within a ten minute period."
"Stop this Severus. I don't know why you are acting like this. You never complained about our love making before! Look if it is about topping, I'm sure I can bear being the bottom once or twice a week."
This time Severus dragged Harry to the door and threw him out of it forcefully. "I will tell you this one more time Potter, so listen carefully. I am not in love with you. I never enjoyed having sex with you. I am straight and am not even bi-curious, as people call it these days. I was forced to be your bottom by Albus Dumbledore, the Order, and all the drugs they pumped into me. For some reason they seemed to believe that dominating a similarly magically inclined person would help bolster your defenses and strengths again Tom. I do not know where you got the idea that I was ever interested in anything you could give me, but I am warning you now. Stay. Away. From. Me."
Potter just shook his head and Severus knew that the idiot had not heard a word he said. "Severus, Severus, Severus…. What am I going to do with you? I guess I can indulge your little fantasy for a while longer. I'll meet you at your home after your service."
The boy turned and walked away down the street before turning into an alley way.
"No Potter, you won't."
SS vs. HP/HP vs. SS/SS vs. HP
Six years later…
"Aidan Franklin, how have you been my friend?"*VI Father Anthony asked as Aidan entered the church.
"I am fine Tony. I am excited that I am going to be starting my employment in the States."
Tony smiled, "Well I'm sorry I'll be losing you as a parishioner Aidan, I am happy to hear that you are moving forwards with your life."
"I am as well." Came a female voice. Aidan turned and saw his friend Kass Samara "Sam" Deja.*vII "It will be nice to have my husband more frequently living in the same country as I am."
"How many times have I told you to call me Sam, Father?"
"Probably as many times as I have told you to call me Tony."
"My wife is deeply shy. She often believes she is overstepping boundaries when she uses a 'superior's' first name." Aidan said with an indulgent smile as his, now, best friend glared at him.
"It's not that Aidan and you know it! You are as worried as I am about that troubled young boy who insists that your 'his Severus!'" Sam stated plainly, but Aidan could see the fear in her eyes. "I am not sure whether I should be more afraid for us or for him."
"A boy, Sam?"
"Yeah. Lately there has been this young gay boy coming around our neighborhood looking for his supposed partner. From the sounds of it the boy was broken when the supposed partner, his teacher, and him were forced to have sex in order to save each other's lives. Now he believes that his teacher was his lover."
"Sounds like a mental health case you'd be interested in Sam if you weren't leaving."
"Nah Tony. I don't believe I'd be able to help the boy. He needs long term inpatient treatment and psychiatric. My specialty is in outpatient therapy."
"What's the difference?" Aidan watched as Tony looked interested, but confused.
"Psychology doesn't handle medicine."
"Yes. Anyhow, we will let you get back to preparing for mass. We just wanted to stop in to tell you our news." Aidan said with a small smile.
"As long as you promise to email me occasionally."
"Of course Tony."
"Right then. I'll see you at mass later tonight?"
"Perhaps. Sam and I have an engagement we have to attend. If we make it to mass tonight, it will be if the horrid thing ends early."
The other man chuckled. "Right than Aidan. Take care until I see you…. You as well Sam."
"Will do!" Said the overenthusiastic forty-two year old replied.
"Also Aidan… I'll keep an eye out for the boy." The priest said with a solemnity. "It seems that many branches of public services outside of our own have been affected by this abuse of power over others."
"Thank you. It would alleviate some of my fears. The child reminds me of my old friend's son and my patient. He'd have been twenty-seven if he had lived."
The two walked out and past a frazzled looking young man with hair that seemed to be growing every which way on his head. He bumped into them and only stopped for a second to mutter an apology before continuing in to the building.
Aidan and Sam walked down Henley Street to their apartment. Once they were at the door and entered, Sam's husband turned on the white noise machine.
"That was close Severus. I'm glad we got there in time to 'warn' Tony about the vagrant." Sam said as she turned on the music player as well.
"Indeed. Luckily Potter remains unobservant." Severus stated as he walked down the hall.
"I'm glad you got the job in my hometown Sev, I think it will help having the Snake mounds disguising your magic." Sam rustled some pots as she made Severus and herself some instant coffee.
"One can only hope. The boy has gotten too close this time."
"I cannot believe that he still thinks that you were in love with him."
Severus sighed. "The boy was never that insightful into relationships. Too much like his father in that regard."
SD/SS vs HP/SD/SS vs HP
Sam stayed quiet as she watched her friend walk out the front door. The man had experienced so much and survived it was amazing.
As Severus looked in the direction of the church, he found himself saddened. He watched as a small young man emerged from the church and Severus clung to the shadows of his flat. As he watched as the child moved with an air of despair, before he vanished.
"Damn you Albus," Severus thought bitterly. "Damn you to hell for what you did to him and to me."
HP vs. SS/SS vs. HP/HP vs. SS
Down the street, Harry Potter wept as he realized that Severus had never been in Oxford, England before he apparated back to Hogwarts.
*VI Cambell, M. (2012). Aodh. Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Behind the Name: Etmology and History of First Names: name/aodh
*v Cambell, M. (2012). Franklin. Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Behind the Name: The Etmology and History of First Names: name/franklin
*Education System In England. (n.d.). Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Intense Education Ltd.: . ?system,england
**Educational State. (2012, July 17). Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Wikipedia: wiki/Grade_levels#England_and_Wales
***McConnell, D. (2012, July 15). Home. Retrieved July 22, 2012, from St. Mary's Church Coatbridge: .
*VIIPearson Education. (2012). Name Lab- Deja. Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Family Education: surname-origin/deja
****Pictures of St. Mary s Catholic Church in Coatbridge, Scotland. (2012, July 22). Retrieved July 22, 2012, from Yahoo Search: . /search/images;_ylt=A0oG7hserQxQb0UAzHVXNyoA?p=Pictures+of+St.+Mary+s+Catholic+Church+in+Coatbridge%2C+Scotland&fr=chr-tyc8&fr2=piv-web
*VIII This idea comes from a childhood sexual abuse training I received by the name of Stewards of Children. The DVD if anyone is interested is by the "From Darkness to Light" group, I believe.
Again, dear readers, no flames. As I stated in the beginning A/N, this story is based off of the two different accounts of similar real life stories. I warned you about prior to you reading.
This issue of sexual abuse and rape is one that we as a community still like to keep in the shadows. Lots of people push it under the rug, hide behind a façade of bliss, but it exists and it happens. As much as we don't like to hear about it, there are places where children are groomed to be abusers or be sexually abused themselves. Sexual abuse, any abuse, is not about love, sex, pain, or pleasure. It is about power and the power one can exert over others.
I want to thank all of you that managed to make it through this story. If you need any more information about sexual abuse and/or ideas on how to help to prevent it, please feel free to either leave a review or a PM. I will do my best to direct you to places where you can obtain more information to understand how to prevent it, stop it, and heal from it.
PS- No flaming me for having Severus as a Catholic either!