Code Magi Lyrical Rider PuchiS 1
Our story begins in the city of Neo-Pendragon, the capital of the holy empire of Britannia, where His Majesty, Lelouch vi Britannia is returning from his trip out of the country.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"
Oh, it seems like the fun has already started.
"W-what the hell is this?" Lelouch repeats as he points to the group of little...things waddling up to him with their arms out to him.
"Oh, you're back, Lelouch vi Britannia?" the small white creature known as Kyubey the Incubator says as it looks up from its royal cushion.
"Kyubey!" Lelouch shouts as he goes up and grabs the alien by the back of its neck. "Did you do this...this...what the hell is this?"
"I have no idea," Kyubey replies. "They appeared a few hours ago and your sister has taken a liking to them and wanted to keep them."
"But...what are they?" he demands. "And why the hell do they look like the Puella?"
"Who knows..." Kyubey shrugs as it looks downward. "But it seems they like you."
Lelouch looks down at his feet as well and spots that the things had surrounded him and were looking up at him with wide eyes.
Now that they are closer to our hero, this writer can now describe them to you all.
As was said, they looked similar to the Magical Girls created by Kyubey in the Parallel World.
They were all dressed in their Magical Girl outfits with miniture versions of their weapons attached to their backs (in the case of the ones that looked like Kyouko, Mami and Madoka), on their arm (in the case of Homura) and to their waist (in the case of Sayaka.)
Their heads were about as large as their entire bodies which seemed to have stubby little hands and feet with no indications for fingers and toes. Or rather, their feet seemed to be completely fat as if they were hooves or something.
"What kind of idiot brought creatures like this into the world?" Lelouch screams at the top of his lungs.
What kind indeed...?
"Ti...Ro!" the Mami lookalike coos as it tugs on his pants and starts jumping up and down trying to get his attention.
"Hmm?" he grunts as he drops Kyubey back on its cushion and picks up the thing with both of his hands. "What do you want?"
The thing starts to squeal in happiness in his hands before wriggling out of them and diving onto his face, hugging it with its entire body.
Lelouch proceeds to stumble around, shouting in muffled rage and indignation as he attempts to wrench the offending creature off of his face.
"Oh, there you are, Lelouch," comes a familiar voice somewhere in front of him. "I see you found the palace's new arrivals."
"Bwah!" Lelouch grunts as he finally pulls the thing off of his face. "Gino? Where the hell did they come from?"
"Dunno," the Knight of Three, Gino Weinberg,replies. "As Mr. Alien said over there, they just appeared outta nowhere a little while ago. But they sure our funny little guys aren't they?"
"There's nothing funny about being smothered by a little...whatever the hell these things are!" Lelouch counters as he waves the giggling Mami Look-a-like in front of Gino.
"Well, Kallen's taken to calling them 'Chibi' or something," Gino explained as he patted the thing on the head. "But Princess Nunnally's been calling them 'Puchi' instead."
"I see..." Lelouch nods as he looks around. "Hey Gino. Can I ask you something?"
"Where did the others go?"
Indeed, the other four Chibi/Puchi have disappeared during the course of the conversation between the emperor and his knight.
"So I noticed," Lelouch nods as he turns back to Gino. "When did they leave?"
"About the time that Mami...hell let's call them Puchi...that Mami Puchi started hugging your face," Gino replied.
"I see..." Lelouch sighs as he plants his palm against his face. It seems as though he's gone past the incredulous mode and has decided to accept his fate. "I suppose we have to look for them now..."
"I guess so," Gino nods in agreement.
"You...you're enjoying this aren't you?"
"Oh, you can tell?"
"Whatever...let's see...let's start with the Kyouko look-a-like since it's obvious where that thing will end up going..." Lelouch sighs as he walks along with the Mami Puchi (guess that's what we'll be calling them then) under his arm.
"Umm...is it okay to be holding it like that?" Gino asks as he points to the Puchi.
"What's wrong about it?" Lelouch asks as he turns to Gino.
"Well...from back here, I can see its underwear."
"TIROOOO?" the Mami Puchi screeches as it tries to wriggle out of Lelouch's arms.
"Gah! Calm the hell down!"
"Hahahaha, you're sure having fun, Boss."
"Get over here and help me, damn it! Holy-"
It seems Puchi Mami has begun firing her musket in embarrassment.
"It's supposed to be a one shot musket!" Lelouch shouts as he desperately tries to avoid the shots. "What the hell!"
And so after a few short minutes that the writer can't really be bothered to explain to you right now, they managed to make their way out to the kitchens.
"Oh, it really was here after all," Gino says as the two men plus one Puchi poked their heads into the kitchens to see the Kyouko Puchi waddling around. "Or rather...they...are..."
"How in the world did they multiply?" Lelouch groans as he palms his face again.
Sure enough there about ten of the little buggers scrambling around the kitchen looking in every nook and cranny for a properly prepared meal.
"Come to think of it...didn't the real one do something like this too?" Gino asks. "When she was a Witch anyway."
"Yeah, I suppose she did..." Lelouch nods.
"Your Majesty? Gino? What are you two doing?"
The two of them turned around to see Monica Kruszewski standing there with some reports in her arms looking at them in confusion.
"Shh...be very very quiet," Gino replies as he pointed at the Mami Puchi. "We're hunting these things."
"As much as I feel nostalgic about that old cartoon...why?" Monica asks.
"Because they are unnatural and they disturb me," Lelouch replies with a blank face. "Now...do you have any idea how to get those Kyouko ones back out here?"
As if it wanted to help Lelouch, the Mami Puchi poked him in the side and when he turned down to look at it, it raised a dish with a cake on it towards his face.
"Ahahaha, this is so awesome!"
The emperor, the female knight and the male knight all say at the same time.
"Somehow I have a bad feeling about this..." Lelouch mutters as he take the dish and hands it to Monica. "Can you hold this for a moment?"
"Hmm?" Monica asks as she takes it. "Sure but...why?"
Lelouch, the sneaky bastard, doesn't answer and instead pulls open the door and hides behind it.
Seconds later a shrill scream occurs beyond the door, causing the Mami Puchi to jolt in shock slightly as Lelouch has an evil smirk on his face before quickly applying a mask of concern over it and peer around the door.
Monica was on the ground covered by all ten of the Kyouko Puchi who were fighting over the cake in her hands.
"Well that worked out well," Lelouch says with a smile on his face.
"You're evil," Gino mutters. "Genius. But evil."
"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME?" Monica screams as she slides the dish away from her and the Puchi chase after it like rabid dogs. "Thanks a lot!"
"You're welcome!" Gino replies with a salute, earning himself a sweeping kick to the legs. "Ow! Why did you hit me? I didn't open the door!"
"Because I can't very well hit His Majesty!" came the reply.
"I'll leave you two alone then," Lelouch says as he strolls on over to the Kyouko Puchi group and stared at them.
They return his stare with their own while slowly stuffing their faces with the cake.
"Disappear," he says in the tone that only a true demon king would ever use.
Instantly, nine of the Puchi disappeared, leaving only one Kyouko one behind, which looked around with a face that seemed to say that it was betrayed by its copies.
"Anko...?" it asks as it looks at him with a hint of fear. Congratulations. You struck fear into a super deformed version of a fifteen year old girl.
"Why are you glaring at the ceiling?" Gino asks, ignoring the fact that Monica was currently attempting pull him into an arm lock.
"No reason," Lelouch replies as he abandons his useless attempt to glare at the ceiling and picks up the sobbing Puchi and tucks it under his arm as well.
"Tiro!" the blonde Puchi says in an attempt to comfort the red headed one.
"Next up should be..." Lelouch mumbles before looking up. "Oh, that one should be easy too."
He places both Puchi on the ground and steps on their skirts to keep them from waddling away as he pulls out his cellphone.
"Suzaku? Where are you?"
"Umm...in the Lancelot's hanger..." came the reply.
"You have one of those...things hanging on you don't you?"
"If by hanging on you mean clinging onto my leg and then my arm whenever I attempt to pull her off...yeah, I have one hanging on me."
"Right...stay there. I'm going to bring two more over and after that we'll go find the other two."
And so we have our esteemed emperor walking through his own palace carrying two little Puchi under his arms. You could imagine the stares and whispers he got from his servants and guards.
"You two are so much trouble!" he shouts as he holds them both in front of his face.
The Mami Puchi actually looks ashamed as it averts its eyes and looks toward the ground while the Kyouko Puchi has somehow fallen asleep. The Mami Puchi looks from her fellow Puchi to Lelouch and then suddenly squeals in shock at the demonic expression he has on her face.
"I can't believe I'd rather deal with the real Kyouko then you," Lelouch sighs as he continues his trek to the Knightmare Hangers.
Sure enough, once he got there, the Sayaka Puchi was hanging on Suzaku's back with a very satisfied smile on its face while the knight was trying desperately to gently pull her off without hurting her as the technicians watched with amused smiles on their faces.
"Having fun?" Lelouch asks sarcastically even though he could tell that neither of them were having fun at all. "Why isn't anyone helping you?"
"Because when Miss Cecile tried it she waved her sword at her," Suzaku replied as the Puchi started snarling at Lelouch as if angry that he dared pull Suzaku's attention away from her.
"Saaaa! Saya!" the Puchi growls at Lelouch who simply returns it with a deadpan stare.
"I have an idea," Lelouch said as he raised the arm with the Kyouko Puchi in it and shook her awake.
"Anko?" it asks as it slowly opened its eyes.
"Suzaku turn to the side for a moment."
"Like this?" Suzaku asks as he turns.
Lelouch had thrown the Puchi like a football, causing it to soar through the air, smacking right into the Sayaka Puchi, knocking it off Suzaku and sending both Puchi sprawling across the ground
The Puchi sat up for a moment and looked around. Then, both of them started bawling at the same time, causing all the technicians plus Suzaku to turn toward Lelouch with accusation in their eyes.
"Get back to work!" he barks and the technicians quickly scramble away back to their stations.
The Mami Puchi wriggles out of Lelouch's grasp and trots on over to the crying Puchi. They stop long enough to turn toward her and give her their attention as it seems to calm them down.
"Looks like she's also the 'big sister' of the group," Suzaku chuckles as he scratches his cheek.
"I swear these things will be the death of me," Lelouch groans as he rubs his eyes again. "Now we only have to find the Madoka one."
"What about Homura?"
"If it's anything like the real Homura, she'll be around the Madoka one."
"Ah, that makes sense."
"The problem with that is..." Lelouch mumbles as the Mami Puchi drags the other two back to the two men. "The place where the Madoka one will be isn't as obvious as the others."
"Maybe a place with a lot of pink?" Suzaku suggests as he picks up the Sayaka Puchi, earning himself a big hug from the tiny thing.
Lelouch simply stares at his friend before turning around and heading toward the room with the most pink in the entire palace.
"Nunnally? Are you in there?" he asks as he knocks on her door.
"Ah, yes I am, Brother," Nunnally replies as he opens the door.
"Have you seen the last..." Lelouch begins before stopping.
Nunnally is currently sitting at a table with tea and cake in front of her. Sitting directly opposite of her on top of a stack of books was the Madoka Puchi, gnawing on the cake in front of it.
"Huh, I was right," Suzaku said as he poked his head in. "So where's the Homura one?"
"Oh, she's over there," Nunnally says, pointing to her dresser where the Homura Puchi was peeking out from behind it. "She doesn't seem to want to join us though."
"Homu..." the Puchi growls as she looks at the two men and the other Puchi.
"Well...at least that's all of them," Lelouch sighs as he places the other Puchi on the table where they quickly make themselves at home. "Can I ask you to look after them while I figure out what to do with them...or rather how to get rid of them?"
"That's not a nice thing to say, Bro-" Nunnally begins only to cut off by the sound of a firecracker.
"Ow!" Lelouch shouts as he slaps a hand on his cheek. "What the heck was that? Ow!"
Several more cracks sound in the air as Lelouch starts jumping back.
"Homu! Homu homu!"
The Homura Puchi was shooting at Lelouch with a tiny little gun.
Suzaku quickly walks over to the Homura Puchi and picks it up by the back of her collar and plucks the gun out of her hand. Instead, the Puchi growls at him and pulls out a tiny flash bang from the shield and tosses it at Suzaku's face.
The Knight manages to close his eyes before it exploded so the miniature flash bang didn't even faze him as he walked over and plopped the Puchi on the table after removing its shield from her wrist.
"That stupid little..." Lelouch growls as he stares down the Homura Puchi which promptly ignores him as it walks over and sits down beside the Madoka Puchi.
"It's your fault for being so mean, Brother," Nunnally said. "Have you thought of names for them?"
"Why would I bother with names for something that won't be hanging around for long?"
"Brother...then would you mind if I do it?"
Nunnally smiles at her brother as the Puchi turned to her, as if eager to receive names.
"Then...how about we call them by the first two syllables in their names, just to keep it simple?" Nunnally asks. "So, Madomado, Homuhomu, Sayasaya, Kyoukyou and...ah..."
The Mami Puchi looks up at Nunnally, as she was the only one that had a two syllable name.
"Tomotomo!" Nunnally says quickly as Tomotomo freezes in shocks and starts sobbing quietly.
"I bet no one else has to deal with this..." Lelouch signs unknowingly. "Just what the hell do you mean by 'unknowingly?'"
What do I mean indeed...
"Tomoe Mami...what in the world is this...?"
Homura looks apprehensively at the three tiny things in front of her.
A Lelouch Puchi that was flicking through some cards in front of him. A C.C. Puchi that was hugging a Cheese-kun plushy with one hand while her other hand was holding the back of the Lelouch Puchi's shirt. And a Suzaku Pushi that was standing guard next to the Lelouch Puchi.
"I think we're being invaded by Rider plush toys," Kyouko says as she pokes the Lelouch Puchi which doesn't react at all and continues going through the cards.
"They're cute so it's fine right?" Mami asks as she picks the Lelouch Puchi and hugs him against her chest. "Kyaaaah! Lelouch-san!"
"What have we gotten ourselves into now?" Homura sighs as she covers her eyes in frustration.
Chapter's End Corner
Harouki: I would LOVE to say that I wrote this while drunk or on some kind of drug. But alas, I wrote this because I felt the need to write something cracky and/or adorable. So you guys get tiny little Super Deformed version of the Puella and Code Geass characters waddling around. If you guys want, I think I'll use this to post up what I got for my other "didn't quite make it" projects like the rewritten Koihime Rider chapters and Fate/Magica. But for now, I'll be working on Persona Magi Madoka Magica. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up before the end of the month.
Still no ETA on Code Magi Lyrical Rider StrikerS btw. I've been trying to start with some light hearted slice of life bits but it feels like I might need to scrap it all.