Why Everyone Should Listen To Maureen

By: Rinny

Alright, Maureen, time to work your magic. Inspiration time!

Pen tapping. No…

Loudly belting show tunes. No…

Blasting alternative pop music. No…

Damnit! Stupid fat guy from downstairs knocking on my floor.

"Hey! What do ya think you're doing!?! I'm trying to get inspired here! Do you know anything about show biz, huh? Of course not! Cuz you're not in it. So maybe you should just stop bein' such an ass and let me get through with what I'm doing! I've got a protest to plan here!" Ha! That shut him up. Maureen Johnston triumphs again. I grin to myself and return to my blank paper.

"Now, think think. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about mainstreaming the population…" I pout, resting my chin on my hand and tapping my pen again. "Oooh!" I feel my face break into a wide grin as I start scribbling on the paper.


Wow, there are so many places I can go with that! I am a genius! Now, I want a cool costume for this protest… What haven't I dressed up as yet? A tree! I'm musing about where I can go with jello, bingo, Benny and a tree, when I hear the door open.

"Pookie? You're home early! Actually, that's great, you can help me come up with the concept for my next costume… I was thinking "Tree". Doesn't that just scream mainstreaming? So, I was thinking, maybe we could go out for dinner tonight… How 'bout Chinese? I've had this big craving for fried rice lately. And, you know, by the time dinner's over, we'll have my protest all planned, so I was thinking that we could celebrate from you winning your last case. Maybe we could play that game from last time, you know, the one where you—"

"Maureen, that's enough…" I blink as I'm cut off by a nasal, but distinctly male voice. Distinct voice, period. "I really don't need to be hearing about you and Joanne's sex life, I've got enough to think about with my lack of one. I don't need those mental images." I turn around and grin finding a person I've been looking forward to seeing for a bit.

"Maaaaaarky!" I squeal, launching myself onto him and wrapping my legs around his waist. "God, I have been so looking forward to seeing you. Ya see, I've got this new protest planned and Pookie hasn't really been wanting to stage manage again, so I—"

"Maureen. Good to hear about your protest, I'd be glad to help, but for once this isn't about you." Mark lets go of me and I sit down at the table again, getting all blink-y. Mark has something to say to me that isn't about me? Or about him trying to get into my pants?

This is unusual.

I should work it into my protest.

Mark seems to take my non-talking as an agreement to listen, so he sits down at the table across from me. "Well… Mo… You know, you are still one of my friends and… Since today seems to be Mark's big truth-bringing day, I thought I'd…" Oooh, he's blushing. Maybe he actually got laid!

"I'm gay."


"I'm gay."

"No… I'm gay. You're Mark."

"I know I'm Mark. But I'm gay too." He sighs a little and pushes his hand through his hair, making it stick up even more. "I… I guess I've known for awhile. Just never really wanted admit it, I guess. Wasn't ready too. But, yeah, I'm gay." He smiles and I can see just a tiny bit of pride in his face. This coming-out-ness must be a big deal for him… Guess I can see that. Mark's never been the greatest at expressing… anything in the actual Mark-verse.

"Wow, that's great!" I exclaim, surprise immediately crossing his features. "Cuz… You know, you can be… all with the dating-Rogerness. I should have seen this coming!"


"Yeah… You know, Roger? Big, blonde… really hot Neanderthal?" Not that I'm into that. "Been living with you for the past 5 years? Openly bisexual?" Although he seems to be leaning towards chicks in the past few years… I can totally understand that.

Wait a second… he's laughing! Mark's laughing at me! That's not what's supposed to happen. I feel myself turning red so I just glare at him. "What are you doing?"

He's laughing so hard he's practically crying now… Oh, come on, that's not right. Mark does not laugh at me. He wipes his eyes and just stares at me for a minute. "Sorry, Maureen, I just…" He bursts out laughing again and I absolutely glower. Hate him right now. He finally calms himself down and stares at me. "Roger?"

"Yes, Roger! I can't believe I didn't see it… You guys are so totally in love with each other! It's the most perfect match! I mean… You can be his little sex toy and he can throw you around the bedroom and feel like he can protect you, but you can take care of him! I mean… You totally compliment each other!" I absolutely beam at him, it's so nice to see Mark happy.

"I… what? I don't love Roger. I mean… Ew!" Wow, he is gay… that just sounded so fruity. "I mean, I see him every morning, with the morning breath and hangover and… Maureen, there's nothing I could want in him. I mean, I want a challenge, I wanna be able to find out new things about the guy I'm with every day, and I already know everything about Roger. I grew up with the guy. Besides, he's really gross. Trust me." Mark shakes his head and leans over, kissing my forehead.

"I'm glad to know you're happy for me, but… I'm not gonna fall in love with Roger. He's happy with Mimi, and I'm looking forward to being single. So… have a good protest planning and call me when you need a stage manager." With that, he gets up and shakes his head, leaving the apartment and still laughing about what I said.


Maureen is not happy right now. How dare Mark laugh at me like that? He's wrong, so wrong.

And two years from now, when Mimi's dead and he and Roger realize they're in love he's going to be so mad that he hadn't listened to me in the first place.

Both of them are gonna be. They're gonna damn sorry, because they're going to have wasted two years of their lives that they could have been happy and Mimi's going to have to be dead, but if they had just listened to me in the first place, none of that would have happened.

"There's more to life than jello and bingo!"

I scowl, throwing my pen on the floor. Everyone should listen to Maureen! When is the world going to realize that?


Author's Note: I don't know, I thought it would be cute… And I thought it'd be fun to write for Maureen for once… Besides! It's someone else's opinion on Mark and Roger. ;) So, I'd love to hear everyone's opinions!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the genius that is Jonathan Larson.