A/N: Hi there. Erm...this fic bears some explaining. This is a REALLY old one, probably nine or ten years old by now. I posted it back when I was in high school, and some of you may recognize this one, but considering it's been ten years...well. XD
So, I was 15 when I wrote this. Yes, it's random. YES, it's stupid. YES, I still get a kick out of it. YES, it probably would have been better off left on my hard drive where I could enjoy it privately, but I'm posting it on the offchance that someone else (and I know ONE person who will :P) might enjoy it too. Keep my age at the time (15) in mind when reading and flaming. :P
There are 22 chapters that I'm willing to post (there were 23, but the last chapter is so ergh that I'm omitting it). I'll be posting them one at a time, whenever I remember to do so. I'll (try to) be keeping edits to a minimum, only changing unintentional spelling errors and fixing the names of things I didn't know back then. This fic, God willing, will NOT be continued once I finish posting the originals. With that said, let's hop right on this trainwreck and VAMANOS. :D
[Original] A/N (That is not taking up the whole page so shut up): Here's my first SoM /SD2 fic ever. Be prepared for total randomness, OOCness, insanity, and things that have nothing to do with SoM whatsoever. Most of these take place in no particular period during the game, but it's definitely during the game, and the main characters will be mentioned. I named them all after Norse gods:
Some people prefer the Japanese names. I hate them. I'm SUCH an American o.0
Emperor Vandole stood before the Mana Heroes, laughing triumphantly.
"Hahaha! I've tricked the resistance AND the Mana knight at the same time!" He laughed some more. "I rock! I am the BEST Emperor ever!" He laughed some more. And some more.
"Uh, sir," said one of the soldiers, "Don't you think you ought to imprison them now?"
"Shut it, you, can't a man enjoy his victory?!" He growled. "Ha ha ha!" He sighed. "Capture them!" He pointed at them. The soldiers grabbed them.
"Get off me!" cried Eir.
Loki tried to run away, but they had lifted him off the floor and he was kicking at the air.
Suddenly, the two guards holding Baldur were run over by an armored Geshtar on his Mech Rider.
"Whee!" Cried Geshtar. He turned around and flew back across the room, waving his arms in the air. "Look, Emperor! No hands! Wheeeeee!"
The emperor rolled his eyes and yelled at the guards, who were still laying on the ground. "Continue capturing them!"
They carried the Mana knights out of the room. Vandole resumed laughing.
"Ha ha ha! Hohohoho! Heehee! Hahahahahahaaaa! HAHAHA! HA HA HA! HOHOHO! HA! HA! HA!" He stands before the long meeting table triumphantly. "Hoo." He points at the table. "Don't look at me like that! I'm enjoying victory!"
The table rudely ignored him.
"I SAID STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"
The table didn't reply. Thanatos walked into the room, and stared at the fuming emperor.
"I DEMAND THAT YOU CEASE GAZING UPON ME!"
Thanatos stared some more.
"THAT'S IT! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" He turned to Thanatos. "You there! Decapitate this table!"
"Uh, the table doesn't have a head, sir."
"Don't give me that! This table was ridiculing me, Tarantulas-"
"My name is Thanatos."
"The table is an inanimate object, sir."
"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S AN INTIMATE OBJECT-"
"JUST KILL IT!"
Thanatos stared at the raving Vandole. If anything, he just wanted to shut him up.
"Sir, don't you think it would be foolish to execute the meeting table?"
"NO! IT'S MAKING FUN OF ME!" He screeched. He turned back to the table. "I DO NOT HAVE MACBETH SYNDROME!"
"But sir, if we kill the meeting table, where will we meet? We'll have to stand, and people will get crampy legs, and they won't pay any attention to you. Then nothing will get done," Thanatos explained, hoping the Emperor didn't realize that people sat on chairs and not tables.
Emperor Vandole stared at Thanatos, obviously surprised he had overlooked this important detail. "Uh...well, then, just take it to the torture chamber! It MUST be punished!"
"You're a lost cause," muttered Thanatos, storming out of the room. He slammed the door shut.
Vandole stared at the door, pouting. "I am NOT a cause. I'm an emperor." He pouted more. "And I know where I am." He glared at the table. "I have disobedient furniture AND disobedient bodyguards." He glared at the table some more. "FINE! If you won't stop staring at me, I'll just stare you down!"
And so, Vandole sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at the long mahogany meeting table with an unblinking gaze.
Three days later, Sheex, Geshtar, Fanha, and Thanatos sat at the meeting table, waiting for Vandole to conclude his staring tournament with the table.
"This is ridiculous," muttered Sheex.
Geshtar threw a screwdriver at the emperor. It hit him in the shoulder, but he didn't flinch.
"Let's just start the meeting without him," said Geshtar.
"We can't," replied Thanatos, "he's the one who said he had a new plan. That's what this is about."
"How can he have a plan when he's been staring at the table for three days now?" asked Fanha.
"He scheduled the meeting four days ago."
Geshtar threw a wrench at Vandole. It bounced off his head with a hollow Clonggggg.
"All empty," said Sheex.
Vandole stood up suddenly, crying. "I GIVE UP! YOU WIN, OKAY?! DON'T EAT MEEEEE!" He ran out of the room, sobbing hysterically.
Thanatos growled. "This meeting is as good as over."