Deep down she knew she shouldn't be feeling the way she did...
It was stupid and irrational of her, she was well aware of it. Heck, she made an effort to remind herself of the fact at least half a dozen times a day.
The problem was that her frantic heartbeats used to do a fantastic job at muffling the sound of reason inside her head, every time she would lay eyes on him.
And what bothered her most about the whole situation was that she couldn't even blame the thing on her age anymore. She was 18 already! A senior in high school, with her graduation day just a week away. Scratch that! She was an adult...at least by law. Shouldn't she be gaining some common sense around this time? Mature her way of thinking a little bit?
Then why was she still holding on to a teenage crush? And not just any teenage crush!... One that anyone would have deemed pointless from the very start.
She smiled bitterly, thinking yet again how delusional she must had been to ever phantom the possibility of having the slightest chance of a future with him.
He was a full grown man after all... although she didn't even know for sure his age. Twenty-six? Twenty-eight? Forget his age; she didn't even know his real name!
She'd tried her best to find out more about him, about his life, where he'd come from, but although she'd dig into every tidbit of information she could gather about him, he still remained much of a mystery to her.
And if that wasn't a stopper, she still had to fight with the fact that he was incredibly popular. And if his fan base at Yuran High was any sort of indication of the type of attention he got outside the school grounds, she was sure that the parade of women (of any age!) waiting to throw themselves at his feet was out of this world. No, there was absolutely no chance that he was lacking any action in his love life!
Of course all this wouldn't matter to her in the slightest, if she didn't find him the handsomest man that ever lived.
But there was more to it than just his looks, she now knew. When her "crush" started to run a little longer than usual, she'd tried to convince herself that the only thing that she felt towards him was a strong physical attraction and nothing more.
...Her lie ended up working for a while.
But while his other fan girls at Yuran High remained sighing over his lean body, his perfect facial features and unearthly grey eyes, she slowly started noticing the other side of him: his quiet yet resilient nature, his unshaken sense of duty, that slight hint of sorrow that he used to give off at times as if he was carrying some secret burden, and slowly but surely, her "crush" started to develop into something deeper and more meaningful to her.
Which was why she felt like a complete idiot. He was way, WAY out of her league!
Why would a guy like him ever pay attention to a girl like her after all? To him, she was just one more among dozens of other girls that seemed to have nothing better to do with their time than to giggle like idiots every time he walked past them.
It was wrong, wrong, all wrong. A doomed feeling that was only going to get her heartbroken in the end.
And yet… she couldn't stop herself from searching for him with her eyes during recess or even through the classroom windows, hoping to catch the tiniest of glimpses of him.
She couldn't help wondering why his eyes seemed so sad at times, wishing she could somehow find a way to ease his hidden pain.
And she couldn't avoid her cheeks from blushing every time they spoke to each other or crossed paths. She was even convinced that she now blushed every time anyone pronounced his name near her. God, she hoped no one had picked up on that yet!
She had always been pretty careful to keep her feelings to herself; hadn't even dared to share her secret with her best friend Suyi. After all, if word ever got out that she harbored any sort of feelings for him, to say she would end up feeling "awkward" would be an understatement, given that she was a frequent guest at his home. Forget about ever paying another visit to that place again!
Although, she was convinced that the worse part of it all would be the nagging from the others. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that knowing her secret would make Ikhan's day. She could just imagine the jokes he'd come up with just to tease her about it... And what would he think of her if he ever found out...
She shook her head to dispel the thought. No way was she ever going to let anyone know!
And she would have kept brooding over dark thoughts, unaware of her surroundings, if she hadn't been brought back to the present by a sudden squeak, courtesy of the classmate sitting right behind her.
"Look, look. He's over there!" She heard Mi Sun whisper to her desk mate.
"Where? Where?" Hana was heard asking back in anticipation, followed by a long sigh. "Oh, just look at those eyes…He's just sooo incredibly handsome!" The girl added with a dreamy voice.
Unable to stop herself, Yuna turned her face to the side, looking out the classroom window in the same direction as the other two, only to feel her heart skip a bit for the thousandth time.
He and Tao-Hyung were standing on the courtyard just below the window, apparently checking the security system around the nearby school fence.
Ikhan's computer mentor seemed to be avidly discussing some improvements to the system; his eyes beaming with enthusiasm, which were mirrored by his hands that wouldn't stop moving around as he spoke to the other man.
Then all of a sudden, with no advanced warning that could spare her faint heart, the most magical thing happened…He laughed.
Not in an exuberant way of course. She doubted she'd ever see such a thing from him. But he did laugh, a tiny bit, at whatever Tao had said. His lips parting in a rare smile that managed to carry all the way up to his eyes; releasing a flurry of butterflies inside her stomach along the way.
He must have felt himself being watched then though. Because he slowly turned his face towards the window, his grey eyes locking instantly with Yuna's; a hint of surprise clearly visible in them.
Feeling her heart start to race out of control and her cheeks burning, she quickly looked away from him, her eyes darting to the blackboard in front of her where her Math teacher was finishing writing down the day's homework, much to her fellow classmates' audible disapproval.
Discreetly, she held a palm to her heart, hoping her heartbeats would soon stabilize.
God help her, if she didn't do something about her feelings soon, she was sure she'd go insane.
His eyes stayed fixed on the window, long after she'd averted her gaze from him.
He'd been so surprised to catch her looking his way that he was sure it had somehow ended up showing on his face.
Maybe that was why she turned her eyes away so quickly. She must have felt creeped out by him somehow.
He sighed quietly at the thought. He creeped her out, huh?... Perhaps it was better that way though.
If he became convinced that she was actually scared of him, then he would have a reason to fight back those pathetic feelings eating up at his heart. What point would there be to harbor any hope for them after all?
"Hey, M-21? !" Tao called, putting an end to his dark musings. "Did you even listen to what I said just now?" The computer genius asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
M-21 smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry... I got distracted for a minute. Mind repeating the last part?"
As Tao resumed his plan for the new school's security system, M-21 discreetly raised a hand to his chest, trying to rub away the ache he felt in his heart.
God help him, if he didn't do something about his feelings soon, he was damn sure he was going to go insane.
A/N: This can sort of act as a prequel to my other two Noblesse fics Struggle and The Reunion. I just wanted to write something from Yuna's POV for a change and this is what my M-21/Yuna pairing obsessed mind came up with lolol Hope you liked it!