Plot, new characters, new magical terms and abilities etc. are my intellectual property. If you want to borrow then please kindly ask. JK Rowling's characters and Wizarding Universe are all uniquely hers.

Summary: AU It was a typical day at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or so I thought.

Authors Notes:

Resurrected from the Archives.

I had an assignment for my French course (in 2005) to write one or two paragraphs using vocabulary words from the theme of "The Dining Room". Of course me being me I ended up writing a three-page one shot HP Fan Fic.

It's very different from what you have seen from me…

The Enchanted Dining Room by NativeMoon

It was a typical day at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or so I thought. I walked into the Great Hall at eight o'clock as usual for breakfast. Hundreds of candles floated in the air. I had a quick look in the mirror near the entrance.

'Not bad,' I thought to myself.

I did not look like I had only had three hours of sleep the night before. The reason for that was at the front of the room: Professor Severus Snape, our feared and hated Potions Master. I walked calmly over to the long table that belonged to my House – Ravenclaw. There was something to be said for being in the House known for intelligence and logic. The fact that I had captured the affections of the Potions Master and no one knew about us was definite proof of that.

I took my seat and ignored the boring gossip of my housemates. I pulled my 'History of Magic' textbook out and began to read. I was so engrossed in reading that I did not notice when Professor Dumbledore, our Headmaster, held up his hands to signal that we could begin. In less than a minute, a table cloth appeared on each of the House tables and the Professor's table. At each place there was a gold plate, goblet, water glass, knife, fork and spoon along with a linen napkin in a gold napkin ring. There were plates of sausages, bacon and eggs; tall stacks of French Toast and Buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup; porridge and cold cereals to choose from. Each table also had a dozen large fruitbowls that most people ignored no matter how hungry they were.

Thank God for the House-Elves; I do not envy all the cooking and cleaning they must endure with their life of servitude.

I had just reached for the jug of orange juice when something very odd happened. Professor Binns, the 'History of Magic' Professor, walked in and took a seat at the Professor's table.

"What's so odd about that?" you might ask yourself.

Professor Binns is a ghost; but not just any ghost. He used to be a real flesh-and-blood human being – a legitimate teacher. One day, he fell asleep while grading what was probably another dull stack of essays from his students and simply left his body. Apparently he could not be bothered to go back into it. It was too late anyway.

His body simply gave up.

But imagine everyone's surprise when the spirit of the Professor returned to teach. And he has been teaching in his ghostly form for as long as anyone has been able to remember. The really strange thing is: Professor Binns does not realise that he is dead.

And until now he had never been able to leave his classroom.

Can you imagine?

It makes no sense – A ghostly Professor who thinks he is alive and yet doesn't have to go the bathroom! A perverse thought – but what else would you expect from such an innocent young thing like myself who just happens to be having an affair with her Potions Master?

Ignore that –

So – Binns had walked in to the Great Hall and took a seat with the Professors. It was a shock to us all; even Severus, who usually did not care about anyone or anything (except me), could not hide his surprise.

Everyone was staring.

Every student at the four House tables of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin (of which Severus is the Head of House) stopped their boring conversations and stared.

You can imagine – a ghost of a man that does not realise he is dead and who has never been able to leave the classroom in which he died has walked into the Great Hall and is attempting to eat breakfast! Professor Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up into his gold and red wizard's hat. Professor McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress, normally very cool and collected, hid her face in her hands. The other professors were still holding forks, spoons and knives in mid-air.

Even the great Harry Potter managed to replace his usual look of stupidity with one of incredulity.

Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse – Professor Binns decided to give a speech. He put the Headmaster's podium back into place and then started a recitation of the Goblin Rebellion of 1683. On and on he droned – no different to being in a class of his.

One by one, the professors and students started to nod off. People were collapsing into their plates piled high with food. I could barely contain my glee at seeing Hermione Granger fall face down into her Corn Flakes. If only Cho Chang would crash into her toast with marmalade my day would be perfect.


Chang falls over!

I pull out my wizard camera and take a picture of the moment of glory. Severus looks at me surreptitiously – his house is known for its cunning and deviousness and I just did something that was more Slytherin than Ravenclaw.

'Go on – give me detention,' I think, licking my lips lasciviously at the thought of it.

Severus realises what I am thinking and gives me a trademark smirk.

Luckily for him no one else saw it.

But leave it up to the Weasley Twins to liven things up a bit. They lit some Filibuster Fireworks and threw them straight through Professor Binns! I have never seen a ghost blow up before – considering Hogwarts has hundreds of them and each House has its own special ghost (like the one with blood stains down his front and the one that only barely has his head connected to his body) – this was quite a shock!

Ghostly bits of ectoplasm flew everywhere! In the tumblers of water, the jugs of orange and apple juice, the cups of tea, the marmalade, the egg cups – breakfast is ruined. I see one massive bit of ectoplasm hit Chang right in the face just as she lifted her saintly head up from her toast.

Just when it couldn't get any worse, some dim-witted fool in Hufflepuff decides to start a food-fight. All hell breaks loose as all the Houses open fire on each other and then turn on the staff whom are now running for their lives.

I give Severus a look and duck under my table. I start crawling towards the secret door near the teacher's table at the front of the room. I am almost there when I see the bottom of familiar black robes. The door is opened and I quickly rush through.

This typical Saturday morning has only just begun to get interesting.