LbN: Sequel to And I Don't Want the World to See Me.
When everything's meant to be broken...
I Just Want You to Know Who I Am
"Hey baby girl!" Santana said, lifting Rachel off the ground as she hugged her. "What do you want to do tonight?"
"I thought we'd just watch movies and cuddle."
"Sounds epic to me. I brought snacks."
"Come on; we'll stay in the living room."
"Where are your dads tonight?" Santana asked as they set the snacks out on the coffee table.
"Conference in Chicago. Where's our blonde tonight?"
"She's letting me have you all to myself," Santana said with a grin. "She did say that she's calling Rachel-time for next week, though."
Rachel laughed. "And…she's just cool with this?" she asked a second later, serious again. She was new to the relationship with the two girls, and she didn't want to step on toes.
Santana nodded as she looked through Rachel's DVD collection. "This relationship works because, at the end of the day, we know we love each other," she explained, looking up at the other brunette. "There are going to be days when I need Rachel snuggles, or Quinn needs Santana time, or you need Quinn time. Or any other combo you can think up. But Quinn and I both wanted you with us…so there's no jealousy when one of us needs another one to themselves."
"Oh…." Rachel said, thinking hard about that. "Makes sense I guess."
Santana put A Knight's Tale into the DVD player and went back to the couch to cuddle Rachel. "I know this is new and different and weird for you, but it's new for us too. We'll figure it out together."
"Together sounds good."
They watched the movie in silence for a while. When knights started getting their asses handed to them by Heath Ledger, Rachel turned to face Santana again.
"What's up?" the older girl asked.
"Why did you need Rachel time?"
"You said there's no jealousy if one of us needs one or the other instead of both. Was there a particular reason you needed me tonight, or does my milkshake just bring all the girls to the yard?" she asked, smirking.
Santana laughed for at least three minutes before she could answer. "I…I did have something I wanted to talk to you about."
Santana nodded and took a few deep breaths. She moved them so that they were sitting up, and Rachel was on her lap. "I thought about telling you before…Quinn thinks I should've. But I was afraid you'd freak out and wouldn't want to be with us. Or, at least, wouldn't want to be with me," she said quietly.
Rachel ran her hands up and down Santana's arms. "You two have given me so much these past two years. You've defended me. You've protected me. And you've never been afraid to call me out when I'm being crazy. And then, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, you both tell me you love me and want to be with me—when that's what I've felt for you the entire time."
"Quinn longer. Not more. The point is, Miss Lopez, unless you tell me you have bodies buried under your house, there's nothing you can say to frighten me off."
Santana smiled slightly and held her tighter. "When I was born…the doctors noticed something…different. I um…I had a different looking package than other babies." She paused and looked at Rachel, but the other brunette just nodded for her to continue. "They did some tests and scans and hospitally stuff and determined that I was a girl. I just…look kind of like a boy…down there. Normally I'd be using my big girl words, but I'm honestly amazed that I've gotten this far without bolting."
"Take your time," Rachel said softly. She kissed her cheek. "I'm right here."
"Not much else, really. They made sure I was healthy. My parents wanted the surgery to be my choice, so they let me stay that way once the doctors said it wouldn't cause health problems. I go see a therapist twice a month to make sure this isn't giving me identity problems," she added, smiling slightly.
"Do they know how this happens?"
"Something to do with my genes? I want to look into it more. It's just every time I do, I kind of feel like a mutant."
Rachel kissed her again. "Well you're not. You're perfect. And since that conversation didn't include any dead bodies buried anywhere, I'm going to snuggle back down with you and finish the movie."
Santana beamed at her. "Do you mind if we call Quinn now? I kind of want both my girls…."
"She's probably still at BINGO with her mom, but let's leave a silly message."
She looked away from the frost covered window and smiled at her girlfriends. "What are you two doing up so early?"
"Looking for our third Musketeer, is what," Quinn said, yawning. "Come back to bed and get some rest…. We don't want to be late for our first day at our new school."
Santana put an arm around each of them as they walked back to their bedroom.
"What were you doing in there, anyway?" Rachel asked.
"Remembering the night everything was officially perfect."