Welcome to "The Jeyna/Jasper Debate"! I am going to try to be objective here. Which will be hard, considering I'm a Jeyna fan myself.
Note: this story contains quite a lot of "breaking the fourth wall". Basically, that means the PJO characters will be mentioning things in our world. No, it's not AU, but just pretend that they also have Young Justice and various musical artists in their universe. :P
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this odd one-shot.
THE JEYNA/JASPER DEBATE
A group of demigods, Greek and Roman alike, stand arguing in the middle of New Rome.
"I VOTE JEYNA!" yells a certain curly-haired son of Hephaestus over the hubbub.
"Leo! Why in Hades would you want Jason with that stuck-up menace? Isn't he your best friend?" rebukes the blond daughter of Athena.
"Yeah, but Reyna's pretty dang hot."
"And Piper isn't?" Annabeth returns.
Leo snorts. "She's the freaking daughter of Aphrodite, Owl Head. It's not all that special to be pretty when the goddess of beauty is your mother."
"He's got a point there," interrupts the lieutenant of Artemis.
"Thalia… he's your brother. Don't you want what's best for him?"
Thalia Grace grins and shrugs. "He can make his own decision. The last thing I need is to get involved in some weirdo love triangle."
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "So you don't care if he ends up with some stab-happy, knife-wielding monster?"
"You're stab-happy and knife-wielding," points out Percy Jackson, who has been so quiet for the past moments that they've almost forgotten he's there too.
The daughter of Athena glares at him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Those aren't really insults," Percy says. "Not if they apply to the person who deals them."
Thalia laughs. "Since when did you get smart, Seaweed Brain?"
"Same time you did, Pinecone Face."
Leo grins and holds up his hand. Percy high-fives him. "Nice one, Jackson!"
"Hey, I try."
"Boys are such morons," Thalia mutters.
Frank Zhang clears his throat. "Back to the main topic. Um, I vote Jasper."
"Finally, someone who understands me," Annabeth says exasperatedly.
"I mean… Piper seems nice. And she's a good fighter. So she's a good match for Jason, right?"
Hazel nudges him. "Reyna's a good fighter."
"But she's kinda mean."
"Not that mean, once you get to know her," Percy interjects.
"Says her fellow praetor," Frank half-jokes.
"Yes. Didn't Jason once mention that praetors often became romantically involved with each other?" Annabeth asks.
"Maybe some," Percy says, flushing at the insinuation. "Not me. I've got you, Wise Girl."
"And Reyna has nobody," Annabeth says. "So there we go. She's desperate and will take anyone she can get. So let's match her up with some other nice maniac and bingo! We have Jasper in the home clear."
The daughter of Pluto narrows her golden eyes at her. "That's kind of harsh."
"She's kind of harsh."
"I vote Jeyna," Hazel declares. "I wasn't sure before, but hearing the things you guys are saying about Reyna… none of you know her that well." She shoots a look around the group. "And none of you ever saw her and Jason before he disappeared."
"Were they an actual item?" Thalia asks with genuine curiosity.
"It seemed like they would be… if they'd had more time."
"How many years did they have?"
Thalia looks at Annabeth, tilting her head sideways. "Measuring by you and Percy, they had at least another year to go."
Annabeth blushes. "That's different. If it took them so long… who's to say they were really meant to be? Look how quickly Piper and Jason got along."
"You didn't like me at all at first," Percy says. "You thought I was annoying."
"You are annoying."
"My point exactly. So if six years later, we're still like this, does that mean we're not meant to be?"
"Nah, I think it's fine," Frank says. "You sound like an old married couple."
Annabeth stares at him.
"That's a good thing! It's a good thing!" He squeaks out something else unintelligible that sounds a lot like, "Don't hurt me!"
"Old married couple. Thanks. You're the best great-great-great-great-great times a thousand grand nephew anyone could ever ask for," Percy says dryly.
Frank's face is now beet-red.
"Based on the direction they were going-" Hazel begins, but is cut off.
Travis Stoll, son of Hermes, has broken into the group with his brother. "DID SOMEBODY SAY THE WORD 'DIRECTION'? 'CAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE DIRECTION TO GO, AND THAT'S ONEDIRECTION!"
"SO GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUTTA MY MIND, AND COME ON, COME INTO MY LIFE! I DON'T, I DON'T, DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I NEED THAT ONE THING! AND YOU'VE GOT THAT ONE THING!" Connor scream-sings at the top of his lungs.
"Oh, that makes so much more sense!" Thalia exclaims. "I always thought the lyrics were 'Get out, get out, get outta my life'!"
"That makes no sense whatsoever," Annabeth says. She crosses her arms defensively, although no one notices. She's secretly a Directioner, although she'll never admit it.
"PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" hollers Leo, clamping his hands over his ears.
"YOU DON'T KNOW, OH-OH, YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!"
Hazel frowns. "That song makes no sense. So not knowing you're beautiful makes you beautiful? I remember in the song, it also says 'To prove I'm right, I put it in a song.' So if not knowing she's beautiful makes the girl beautiful, why does the guy want to tell her she's beautiful so that she knows she's beautiful and therefore becomes not beautiful?"
"Um…" Thalia says, trying to process her words. "I think you said 'beautiful' too many times."
"YES! Thank the gods, it stopped!" Leo gasped, removing his hands from his ears.
Annabeth comments, "Connor, you sang lyrics from two different songs."
"Really? I always thought they were the same one when they came on the radio."
"No. They aren't. You just sang 'One Thing,' and 'What Makes You Beautiful'."
"Oh. What about the one that goes all, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? YOU DON'T REALLY WANT MY HEART, YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW YOU CAN—'"
"NOOOOOO! NO MORE!" Leo screams, clamping his hands back on his ears again.
Percy has his teeth gritted against the painful sound of Connor's singing. "Dude! Quit it! You're killing my ears!"
Connor stops abruptly, hurt. "What? My singing isn't that bad, is it?"
"It's pretty bad, bro," Travis says.
Leo yells, "OF COURSE IT'S BAD! WHY ELSE WOULD I BE COVERING MY EARS AND SCREAMING IN AGONY? YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID AGONY, NOT PAIN! AGONY, AS IN FAR WORSE THAN PAIN!"
"That's harsh," Connor pouts.
Thalia brings up the main topic again. "So, you guys: Jasper or Jeyna?"
"Wait. Jasper as in Jasper from the Twilight series? As in, Edward Cullen's adoptive brother?" Travis asks. He frowns. "If we're talking Twilight, then where does the name Jeyna fit in?"
"That sounds like the names Jason and Reyna combined," Connor observes.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Percy rolls his eyes.
"That's 'cause it is," Thalia explains patiently. "It's a pairing name. 'Jeyna' is the name for 'Jason and Reyna'. So Jasper—"
"Is Jason and Piper?" Travis interrupts. He looks thoroughly baffled. "I though that the name for Jason and Piper was Jiper."
"Well, we chose to use Jasper because Jiper sounds kind of odd," Annabeth says. "So. Jasper or Jeyna, you two?"
Connor says, "Jasper, of course!" the same time that Travis exclaims, "Jeyna, for sure!"
Thalia says, "So we have Frank, Annabeth, and Connor for Jasper… and Hazel, Percy, Leo, and Travis for Jeyna."
"HA! YES! JEYNA FTW!" Leo pumps a fist in the air.
"Not so fast," Thalia interrupts. "I didn't vote yet."
"I though you said you didn't want to get, and I quote, 'involved in some weirdo love triangle'," Percy reminds the daughter of Zeus.
"I changed my mind," she snaps, giving Percy a death glare. She jabs him in the chest, and there's a cracking sound as a spark of static leaps from her finger to him.
"Ow…" he mutters.
"And I vote Jasper," she continues as though there was no interruption.
"What? But why?" Travis asks, bewildered.
"I said I liked her. She's tough for an Aphrodite girl, after all," Thalia answers.
"And Reyna isn't tough?" Leo challenges.
"Like you said how it's not special for Piper to be pretty. Not when her mother's the goddess of beauty. Well, it's not special for Reyna to be tough if her mother's the war goddess."
Percy looks at Thalia. "She's not tough because her mother's the war goddess."
"And how would you know that?" she retorts.
Percy answers slowly, this time looking at Annabeth. "Because when we first met her, she was a spa attendant who liked nothing more than flouncing around in dresses and giving people makeovers."
Annabeth scowls. "So?"
"It's our fault she's tough," the praetor says. "We released pirates and ruined her life."
"Not our problem! Circe turned you into a guinea pig!"
"But did Reyna herself do that? No. We messed up the life of a girl younger than we were."
"My life was messed up when I was younger than that," Annabeth snarls, her voice hard as flint.
"And that's why you're tough," Percy returns. "So therefore, I stand by my point: she's not tough because of her parentage."
"So maybe Piper isn't pretty because of her parentage," Annabeth counters. "Her dad IS a movie star, after all."
Travis breaks in. "Excuse me—would you listen to yourself? Look at all the freaking Aphrodite kids. They're all freaking gorgeous. It's the parentage for that, Wise Girl."
"Shut your trap, Stoll," Annabeth hisses.
"Hey, just saying."
"So that's why you like Piper?" Hazel inquires to Thalia. "'Cause she's tough for an Venus girl?"
"Aphrodite," Thalia corrects. "And no. Also because of the personality mixes. She never fights with Jason. The two of them get along in perfect harmony. I want Jason to have a nice, harmonious life."
"Uh, haven't you heard of Spitfire?" says Travis.
"Spitfire?" All the demigods' eyes are on the son of Hermes.
"Spitfire. It's another name for Waltermis."
"Waltermis?" Percy echoes.
"Yeah. Haven't you—never mind. It's from Young Justice. Wally and Artemis. Kid Flash and Artemis."
"I've heard of Kid Flash, but not Artemis," Frank comments to nobody in particular.
"Artemis is Green Arrow's protégé," Travis continues patiently, as though he's lecturing a classroom of college students.
"Oh, not the DC nerd talk again," Connor sighs dramatically. "Gods take help me!"
"ANYWAY," Travis says loudly, "The two of them make up Spitfire. It comes from the quote from Kent Nelson, AKA Doctor Fate. 'Find yourself a spitfire.' Kent Nelson told Kid Flash that if he had himself a spitfire, he would lead a happy life."
"So… Reyna would be a spitfire?" Frank wonders.
"Have you heard the things that come out of her mouth when she's talking to Jason?" Percy retorts.
"We should use that name for Jeyna. Spitfire." Leo grins.
"Uh, no, 'cause DC would sue us," Travis points out. He sighs. "I wish that weren't the case."
"And who likes peace and harmony, anyway?" Percy asks. "Annabeth and I don't have peace and harmony. Well, maybe peace, but no harmony."
Thalia taps her chin. "Good point. Okay, I rescind my vote. I choose to abstain from the vote."
"Thalia!" complains Annabeth.
"Sorry, Wise Girl. I'm going back to stand with what I said before. Jason can make his own choice."
"HAH! JEYNA WINS!" crows Leo.
Hazel allows herself a triumphant smile.
"Ugh. That's not fair," mumbles Frank. "Hazel! I can't believe you sided with them!"
She laughs. "Sorry, Frank."
Connor is yelling, "JASPER! JASPER! JASPER!" at Leo, as the son of Hephaestus yells back, "JEYNA! JEYNA! JEYNA!"
A new voice interrupts them. All eyes turn to the newcomer.
Jason Grace looks vaguely perplexed as he regards them. "What's all this noise about? Reyna sent me to go see why you guys were yelling in the middle of the street."
"Nothing!" they chorus.
Well, hope you enjoyed it. :) Reviews would be great.