Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors. If I did, I wouldn't be writing weird parodies of my own novels.
Prologue: 3rd Time's The Charm
It was a dark and stormy night, and lightning forked it's way across the sky as thunder boomed in the distance. Deep in the center of a forest in the center of an island lived four Clans of wild cats: SparkleClan, SpecialClan, SuperClan and SecretClan. On this night, a beautiful SpecialClan she-cat was giving birth to her first litter of kits.
Her name was Beautybreeze, and she was the most beautiful cat anyone had ever seen. Her violet eyes shone like diamonds, and her shiny, sleek fur glowed brighter than stars. She was also one of the kindest cats anyone had ever known. She always cared for other cats and hunted for the clan, never wasting time to sleep or hunt for herself.
Her mate and the father of her unborn kits was Deathtalon. He was very much the opposite of Beautybreeze; Deathtalon was ugly and scarred all over his big brown body. Both of his ears were ripped, and his tail had been ripped off in a fight many moons ago. His eyes were pure black and lifeless, and they scared most other cats away. He was a solemn cat who did not care about any anyone else - except Beautybreeze of course - and he never helped others.
These differences did not make a difference in how much they loved each other. Beautybreeze would give her life to be with Deathtalon, and Deathtalon would kill another cat just to be with her (actually, he would kill a cat for a lot of reasons).
On this dark and stormy night, Beautybreeze lay down in the nursery and began her kitting. The SpecialClan medicine cat, Wondermoon, sat by her side. Deathtalon stood in the corner watching. Wondermoon whispered words of encouragement to Beautybreeze, who was still looking as beautiful as ever.
"You can do it, Beautybreeze," she said. "These kits will be beautiful."
Before long, one tiny kit popped out. Wondermoon began to lick furiously, but something was wrong. No noise escaped her tiny jaws.
The medicine cat let out a great yowl of sorrow. "I'm sorry, Beautybreeze. This kit is dead," she muttered as a single tear slid down her face. The kit looked just like Beautybreeze, she even had the same violet eyes. It was a shame that she would not grow up and have more beautiful kits of her own.
Beautybreeze did not hear the medicine cat. She was too busy continuing with her kitting. In a heartbeat, a second kit popped out. This kit looked just like Deathtalon - it even had battle scars and pure black eyes.
Wondermoon jumped when she first saw the kit. It scared her, and she was reluctant to lick this one. It was horrendously ugly, but she licked it's fur anyway.
This kit also remained lifeless, but no yowl of sorrow escaped Wondermoon's jaws. Oh well, she thought, it was ugly anyways.
Wondermoon looked at Beautybreeze. Her kitting appeared to be over. "I'm sorry. Both of your kits are stillborn," Wondermoon whispered.
"No!" Beautybreeze exclaimed. "I-I feel something! There's another kit!"
Wondermoon's eyes widened in shock. Another kit! All hope was not lost; Beautybreeze might still pass her beautiful traits on to this last kitten.
"You can do it!" Wondermoon meowed. "You're doing great!"
A great ripple passed over Beautybreeze's body. She began coughing. "I don't.. I can't..." She tried to speak, but her voice was fading away. Wondermoon's heart raced, and she leaned in closer to hear what the dying queen was saying.
"I'm dying," she gasped.
Wondermoon let out a second yowl of sorrow. "No! You're the most beautiful cat in the forest! You can't die, Beautybreeze!"
But she died anyway. Beautybreeze set her head on the floor of the nursery and her breathing slowed. Her eyelids began to fall, and as soon as they closed completely, her last kit popped out and gave a tiny squeal.
Wondermoon stared at the pitiful little thing. It was smaller than the last two, but it's eyes were a pretty blue color. She wasn't beautiful like her mother, and she wasn't hideous like her father. In fact, she was very average. Wondermoon bent down and licked the kit's black fur to warm her up.
She looked to the corner of the nursery where Deathtalon had been watching. His dark, expressionless eyes stared at her from the shadows.
"Deathtalon," Wondermoon said. "This is your only kit. You should name her now."
"No," rumbled the solemn tomcat. "I will not name something that killed my mate. She will be known as Kit. When she is an apprentice, she will be called Paw."
"What about when she is a warrior?"
"She will have no name."
A silence filled the air, and Wondermoon thought for a moment. "No," she decided. "That won't do. This kit is too special to have no name. She will be called Specialkit."
As soon as she said the name, Specialkit gave a loud mewl, as if it was meant to be.
Deathtalon growled, "Alright, fine. But how will she eat?"
"She does not need mother's milk; StarClan will feed her power, and she will stay alive."
Deathtalon suddenly looked very angry, and he flattened his ears to his head. "How do you know this? How can you tell she is special?"
Wondermoon gave him a mysterious smile. "I'm a medicine cat, Deathtalon. I just know these things. It's in my blood."
Specialkit gave one more loud squeal, and a flash of lightning danced across the sky.
Leader: Starstar - Yellow tabby she-cat with eyes like stars.
Deputy: Deathtalon - Scary looking brown tabby tom. He has pure black eyes and many scars.
Medicine Cat: Wondermoon - Mysterious white she-cat with one blue and one green eye. She glows like the moon.
Rumblebelly - Very fat brown tomcat who has amber eyes. He is always hungry.
Rainstorm - Gray tom with gray eyes. (He suffers from depression)
Beautybreeze - The forest's most beautiful cat. Ever. She has shiny fur and violet eyes.
Watermelonpelt - A very round green tabby she-cat. Pink eyes. She bleeds watermelon juice.
Birdwing - Pure black she-cat with feathery wings emerging from her back. She has amber eyes and she can fly.
Silentsong - A white tomcat with amber eyes. He's mute, so he never talks.
Smallevil - A small, annoying tomcat. He follows Deathtalon around.
Dirtstripe - A smelly tomcat.
Grasshopper - A long-legged brown tomcat.
Honeymoon - A she-cat who falls in love easily. Honey-colored fur.
Thunderbolt - A heroic yellow tomcat who likes to save the day.
Specialpaw - Black she-cat with blue eyes. She is special.
Butterpaw - A butter-colored tomcat with amber eyes. He's slippery like butter.
Rainbowpaw - A calico she-cat with rainbow eyes. She loves colors.
Cyclopspaw - An orange tomcat with one green eye in the middle of his face.
Gentlepaw - A very gentle tortoiseshell she-cat. She has soft green eyes, and she is gentle and kind.
Oldface - An incredibly old, smelly cat. No one is sure what gender it is. It's too old to tell. No one knows it's eye color because there are too many wrinkles covering it's eyes.
Sourheart - A mean spirited gray she-cat with green eyes. She is cranky from old age and soreness.
AN: This is the first thing I've ever tried to post on this website. Usually I just read stories on here, but I was getting really annoyed with the quality of Warriors fanfics. They've all become so...bad.
So, I wrote this in frustration. I was also just really bored.
But if you did like it (or even if you didn't), please leave me a review and tell me your opinions. Or not. It's up to you.