Diiiiiiiisclaimer: The characters, events, and storyline of Metal Gear Solid 2 do not belong to me, sadly enough. I only wish I were as twisted as Hideo Kojima.
Author's Note: This was written with the great help of my younger brother. Send the pocky and money on to him.
This was inspired by T.H.E.M. Reduced Anime and the various ultra-condensed books out there, and while not nearly as fun, made me giggle for a minute or two with the thought.
The tanker SINKS; the events leading up are unimportant.
The Colonel TALKS and TALKS and TALKS and TALKS and then...
Raiden: I found a gun.
'Pliskin' recounts the MILITARY HISTORY of the weapon.
Raiden: There's a bomb.
Stillman: Defuse it.
Everyone and their grandmother GROPES Raiden.
Rosemary: I'm a lying skank.
Fortune: I can't die.
Ocelot: Yes, you can. Pawn!
Solidus: I am your father.
Patriot #1: We bad?
Patriot #2: We bad.
Raiden kills Solidus.
Snake MORALIZES for several minutes.
Raiden: *angst and major head trauma*
Mysterious hook into the next METAL GEAR.