Drake was selfish, she knew that. She has always known that, even when she first met him, back when she was wide-eyed and innocent. After spending months holed up as his dirty little secret, she has gotten to…understand him, in a way. They'll just be lying there, staring at the ceiling in silence, when he releases a little piece of himself.
'I hate Caine,' he'd say, turning onto his side and looking her in the eyes, which was such a rare occurrence it shocked her speechless, 'And one day, I'm going to get rid of him for good and rule the FAYZ.'
She didn't know much about the world he – they, she supposed – lived in. She didn't even see the infamous 'poof' that started it all. Drake had found her a month or so after it happened; a princess stuck in her tower, and decided to keep her there. He barely talked about it, the FAYZ, but he mentioned people. Sam, Caine, Astrid, Diana. Those were the ones she was the most familiar with. He despised all of them, but Caine particularly. Some days he was so angry with him, he'd enter the two-bedroom apartment that was her home and smash a lamp against the wall. If she did anything wrong on those days, he'd take that terrible whip arm of his and smash her against the wall, too.
But no matter how much he hurt her, she kept forgiving him. Because even if he never said it aloud, he needed her. She felt it in the way he gripped her hand, the way protected her ('No one's allowed to hurt you, 'cept me, okay?'), the way he buried his face in her hair in the middle of the night after he had a nightmare, chanting her name over and over.
He had a special name for her. 'Lux'. It wasn't the name her long-gone mother called her, or even the name that was written on her birth certificate. But when he came into her life, everything changed…so why shouldn't something as insignificant as her name change, too?
Looking back on it now, she sees that their relationship was broken from the start. Drake pushed the limits, it was what he did. But he pushed her too far. She wasn't meant to bend this way; she was meant to marry a nice man and live in a nice house with three kids and a white picket fence. Happily ever after. But even if she wasn't supposed to see the dark side of life, she stood strong. She became accustomed to Drake's ways: she knew when talking would get a punch to the face, she knew when he needed her to latch onto him and swear that she was his, she though she knew him.
And now she's here, a shattered mess of a girl, lying in a pool of her own blood, looking into the emotionless eyes of the man who 'needed' her.
-"I don't know how"-
She's sees it now; she was stupid. Because behind all the bravado and threats, she honestly thought Drake Merwin loved her.