A/N: Omg, what's happening? Am I back?! Oh hell yeah I am back! :D
Wow, so yeah I know it's been FOREVER, but my injury is never going to heal, it's permanent and I just have to live with it for the rest of my life. Now that's stated, I can only say; I don't care! I'm chipper and happy to finally having finished another chapter! I hope you guys enjoy!
To every review I have received, thank you SO MUCH! I adress all of you when I say I absolutely adore you! Your love has been so comforting to me! Love you all!
Chapter 19: Aversion.
Time was at a stand-still as both men could only stare at one other in silence. Laws words still hung in the air like an echo, a foreboading shadow of a not so bright future. Eustass felt heavy in his body, like tons of weight were trying to pull him down, his breath so soft and shallow it almost was not even there. Law was the first to avert his gaze, the obvious insecurity winning over the stoic determination he had tried to convey. It promptly shook Eustass from his stupor as well and the man felt anger swell and rise in his chest.
"Break up?" He grit out through his teeth, not missing the slight flinch and the square of Laws tense shoulders. It was the last thing he had expected and although he knew - deep down he knew - Law did not truly mean this, it still pissed Kid off beyond words. So this was what Law planned. To push him away the minute things started to look grim. Regardless of their prior promises and Kids assurance of loyalty? Well, he be damned if he just sat by and let Law be so ridiculous. Despite his anger, Kid tried to remain somewhat calm and took a deep breath ere he snapped.
"You have to be out of your mind," He still hissed, his fingers clenching and nails digging into the skin of his palms.
"We live together and I am not leaving your side. End of discussion!" He rose with a huff, sliding off the bed, grabbed his chair and pulled it back to the table where it originally stood. Then he went to the window, his back to Law and just stared up into the night sky. It did jack shit to calm his temper, but he did settle it somewhat in his stomach; it would stay there, until he could let out his frustrations later.
On the bed, Law who was still gazing aimlessly down at his white sheets, felt incredible relieved. As soon as he had spoken the words, regret had smacked him in the back of his neck, but he was nothing if not stubborn. There was this rational part of him - who had made him speak thus in the first place; I will suffer less if those I love don't have to see me like this, when I know they are moving on. Especially Kid. There was nothing he would't give Kid, the one man who had made him want to live to the ends of time. Yet there was so much he couldn't give him. So Law thought, if Kid would just leave him behind he could move on and maybe he would eventually fall in love again with someone else... It hurt just to think it, like a stab in his heart, but initially it was desperation caused by this impossible situation.
Law felt absolutely stupid now and he knew Kid would propably stay mad at him for quite a while, yet he knew he deserved no less. So when the tears returned again, burning a trail down his cheeks and he silently sobbed, he knew Eustass would not hold him this time.
Eustass... I'm sorry.
The night passed with Law falling in and out of sleep rapidly. Earlier he had received a check-up examination and a blood transfusion. The feeling in his lower abdomen and legs were slowly returning, but with it also the sheer agonizing pain from his left side, where his bones were fractured. He also felt the swell of his liver and spleen, understanding now that the dull aches he had experienced on and off turned out to have been much more serious than he had initially believed. He was such a fool for ignoring it, but there was little he could do now.
Law woke with a gasp for the fourth time, sweat beading on his brow and his heart erupting in his chest. He recalled no dreams, just pain and this horrible feeling of not going to survive this. He had been shot with morphine, the analgesic having been transfered through the liquid of his Ivy bag. Yet it did little to help him now as he gasped and tried to regain his breath and calm himself. The room was dark and unwelcome, even though Law could hear Eustass steady breathing from the couch in the far end of the room. The man had argued back and forth with the Doctrine about whether he could stay and sleep or not. Eventually she had caved and he had settled down on the patients couch, too small for his size, but better than nothing at all.
Law shook as he ran a hand over his face, his shallow breathing slightly calming. He hadn't spoken one word with Eustass since he had allowed his insecurity to take the better of him. Law was certain Kids ignorance had a lot to do with him being so restless now, but at least the man was still here with him. Law took a deep breath and closed his eyes against the darkness. It had been a rough day, not only had he been injured, but the toll it had taken on his mentality was almost worse. He struggled to sit up not bothering with the remote to elevate this time. Even as pain shot through his abdomen he merely grit his teeth and bore it. Law was stronger than this, than all of this and the idea of giving up - though it had previously crossed his mind - he now could see how ridiculous even the mere notion of such truly was.
He had spoken a bit with Kuleha about his entire situation again, once as she had finished arguing with Eustass and he was sent off with a nurse to require bed linnen and a pillow. She had sat down on the right side of his bed, careful with not touching him. It had been wierd, the concern she had radiated, and especially because he knew it meant she cared. Law recalled their conversation, though as brief as it had been it had struck a nerve.
"There is no reason for you to look so grim, your mug is ugly enough as it is," She started, obviously trying to pull forth some immediate reaction, but Law remained neutral, the pain from his confrontation with Eustass still lingering. Kuleha sighed, looking quite annoyed.
"Fine, fine," She muttered. "It's not like this will kill you, you mongrel, not on my watch, you know that," She crossed her arms over her chest and actually managed to pull a small smile from Law, who resisted to turn his eyes heaven ward from her arrogance. His miene remained somewhat light, but soon changed when Kuleha placed her hand over his.
"You know the drill Law and I would like to start this operation as soon as a donor is available. We are running the system to find a match and I will allow no slack," Law heaved a sigh, but did not argue with her. As much as her concern disturbed him, it actually sparked an ember of joy in him to life, the tiny flame of hope starting to grow. Initially such a hepatic transplatation could take in between four to fifteen hours, in which he would be fully sedated, but what had Law unnerved to the marrow of his bones was what came after. The hot versus graft disease would be one of the main risks, that his body would not accept the new organ. It was also one of the main reasons he had always pushed away the notion of receiving bone marrow transplantation.
Just in this case he couldn't decline. If he did, he would die.
When Kuleha realised she would not get much of a conversation, she rose again with another sigh and shook her head. As she headed for the door, Law stopped her with a question.
"I understand," He murmured at first. "-but why do you care so much?" She audibly grunted and grabbed the door handle. With a smirk and a wink, she spoke as she exited the room.
"Can't lose my best inturn, now can I?" Law actually felt like laughing once the door closed behind her, but he settled for a low chuckle.
Tears came unwanted to him again, welling up in his eyes. Though this time Law could not explain to himself why he cried. Aside from the numbing pain, he felt nothing at all. Mayhap this emptiness inside, this feeling of absolute abandon, staring in the face of a fate he could not prevent, had him cringing out his every and last emotion. As the tears burned down a trail on each of his cheek, Law let out a silent sob. He was glad Eustass was asleep, he did not wish for the red-head to see him like this.
The bristling from the kettle, as it went about boiling the water within it's iron confines, was a distant humm to the blonde man seated by the round table in the small kitchen. He sat with his arms crossed in front of him, resting on the table top. His shoulders were tense and his expression stoic. His eyes were fixed on the small cell before him. As if on cue it began to vibrate and with an elated sigh he relaxed his posture, snatching the object and pressed 'take call'.
"Killer here," The introduction was unnecessary, but he did it anyway, wanting to be the first to speak.
"Hi," The reply from the other end was slow, exhausted, and Killer could imagine his brute friend rubbing his hand tiredly over his face. His brows drew together as he waited a few more beats, allowing the other man time to settle the worst of whatever bothered him. But of course, Killer already knew.
"How is he?" There was no immediate reply, but a sigh; or more a heavy exhalation.
"...Not good," Killer could not help but notice the way the hesitation indicated the hidden frustration of the words, even as simple of a reply as it was. It had been more than a few hours since he last heard from Kid. A hurried phone call, with little to no real description of the actual cause, just that Trafalgar Law had been in an accident.
Whereas Killer felt no real love towards the man; not even the one born of friendship, the blonde had come to realise Law was less than a bother than what he initially had believed. A relationship based solely on the foundation of a few phone calls were beyond ridiculous, and he would not be convinced otherwise. Yet the relationship and the love between Eustass and Trafalgar was real, even Killer had to admit that. So as it contradicted itself, it was also pure and a one of it's kind.
For a man like Killer, who had never really believed in the concept of love to begin with, it was a realisation of it's own. Basically, Killer knew that he had to thank Law for quite a few changes; Eustass being the major one; never had the blonde seen him as fullfilled and balanced as after Trafalgar entered his life. In Killers opinion they still progressed too fast, but when it came down to it, time was not really on their side.
As the silence lingered on, neither man complaining and just allowing it, Killer heard the soft footfalls behind him just before he felt anothers presence. He was sagged a bit in his chair, shoulders a bit tense as he waited for Kids explanation; whenever the man was ready. A pair of arms encircled his shoulders and drew him a bit back, and Killer released a sigh and felt himself relax. He felt a nose nuzzle softly against his hair and he tilted his head a bit, silently allowing the gesture. Finally Eustass begun talking again.
"They say he needs a new liver... I.. fuck, Killer. He told me he wanted to break up, I.." Eustass couldn't even finish his sentence, but it wasn't needed for Killer to understand. He tilted his head a bit, before he sat up straighter and touched the hand closest to his own.
"Relax, Eustass and take a deep breath. It is a good thing it was discovered,"
"Yeah," Eustass sighed with some resistance and smothered a hand over his face. Killer was right, he had to calm down a bit. "I am just worried sick here and I have no fucking idea what to do... I can't even start to think what Law might be feeling,"
"You said he wanted to server your ties?" Killer was met with a slightly disgruntled sound.
"What?" The blonde sighed and pinched the brinch of his nose.
"He wanted to break up with you..."
"Ah, yeah. Of course I didn't let him,"
"And does that not tell you all you need to know regarding Trafalgar emotions? Clearly he thinks he might not make it, so he wants to make sure he is no longer a burden to you," At this Kid nearly growled, though Killer knew very well the red head directed no anger towards him.
"He is no burden to me! Nor will he ever be seen a such! If he really thinks...!"
"Calm yourself," Killer sighed and leaned further back in the chair. The arms encirling him entangled themselves and moved away, only for his companion to step beside him and take a vacant seat. Violet eyes met blue and Killer remembered what Law had done for him, without really having done much.
"Have a donor been found yet, or is the search still on?" Killer knew such trifles could take a while, yet not as long as the recovery to follow.
"...Not yet. Hell, I'd donate my own liver if I knew I was a match,"
"Don't be silly. You think Law could go on without you?" Instead of the answer he expected, Killer was met with silence, followed by a quering sound of wonder. He was about to ask when Eustass interrupted.
"You called him Law..."
"Ah, that..." Killer shook his head and closed his eyes. "Don't worry about it. You should see yourself to some rest Eustass, you sound like you need it," After he had made sure Kid was convinced to get a bit rest, he hung up and placed the phone on the desk.
"What is up?" His companion from across the table asked in a soft voice, currently laying a deck of cards he'd apparantly brought along from the bedroom. He held up the knight of hearts and placed down a card back up.
"Eustass boyfriend was admitted to the hospital, he needs a transplantation of his liver," He cast his eyes down and drew a deep breath.
"That is rather.. worrysome." Black eyebrows drew together and an else handsome face was distorted in concern.
"Yeah and Eustass easily panics when it concerns those he cares about. He holds Trafalgar especially dear,"
"You did say they were a couple, I find it rather understanding. If anything were to happen to you, I would drive myself crazy," Those words elicited a small smile from Killer and he plucked up the card placed face down on the table.
"Queen of clubs," Killer rose a brow, especially because his companion could tell the image on the card without seeing it.
"You're getting good at this,"
"Of course!" The card was nimbly snatched from his grasp and he received a big toothy grin.
"Cavendish the Card master would sound rather dimwitted if I weren't one step ahead every time,"
"Card master," Killer snorted and rose from his perch on the chair. Leaning over the table he took the other mans chin in his hand and kissed his nose.
"You are adorable. I will make us something to eat,"
Even though he had promised Killer he would get some rest, Kid could only toss and turn and rub his eyes. They felt oddly dry and scratchy. He was laying on the couch, his feet sticking out over the edge, the pillow too hard for him and the duvet wasn't long enough. His makeshift bed was more than uncomfortable and he couldn't help but long for his own spacious and delectable bed. From his spot he could easily hear all sounds in the room. The slight buzz from the lamps, the heat coming off from the radiator and the soft breathing from Law. The only malplaced sound Kid found utterly disturbing was the beeping from the monitor connected to Laws heart beat.
He knew Law wasn't sleeping, something he probably wouldn't have been able to tell had it not been for the fact he could actually - somehow - hear his heart beating. Law probably also knew that Kid was awake. Yet no one of them aknowlegded the other. In fact it had been over a day since they last spoke, and honestly Eustass was starting to feel sick of it. Had it not been in the dead of the night, the red head would have done something about it. Right now the most he could do was hope for Law to finding rest soon and himself following after. Trafalgar seemed to be of a different mind however. Kid heard the bed rustling and the stopping of the monitor before he reacted, sitting up and trying to find the switch for the light.
"Kid?" He stopped in track when he felt a hand cover his, soft fingers against his cheek.
"You should be in bed, Law," He surprised himself with a raspy voice, unused and a little rough. "They will notice the monitor," A few fingers against his lips silenced him.
"I know. It's okay, they are low on staff," He made it sound like it made everything okay and Eustass furrowed a brow.
"Shh, there is something I need to tell you," The couch dipped a bit and Kid felt Law sitting down by his side. There was hardly enough room for himself, so he had to scoote a bit over to make space. Laws fingers found his and he tangled them together, leaning his head against a broad shoulder.
"What I said about breaking up... I am sorry,"
"Don't apologise," It was the last Kid wanted to hear and he found himself squeezing Laws hand.
"I have to. I didn't mean what I said. Any of it,"
"I know," Kid felt compelled to comfort Law, something he would have done regardless of the situation, but in this particular one he was afraid of what might happen if he squeezed him to hard, even in what might only be a hug. Instead he wrapped an arm around Laws shoulders and drew him near, placing a kiss against his forehead.
No matter what, they would get through this. Law would have to take an operation now to survive, so how could another, to secure he could live a long, long time, be a problem? Of course, Eustass knew little of any risks involved.
"I love you, Law. The way I see this, it's all that matters," He felt the kiss against his neck like a slow burn that made him tingle, but the smile that followed lit a fire inside of him.
Yeah. They would get through this.
A/N: That's it for now folks! Thank you so much for your patience. I love you all! Please leave me some love too ;)