Title: This Is Your Badness Level 1/4
Pairings: None.
Warning: Ridiculously fluffy. May cause toothache.
Summary: A fill for a prompt on Norsekink. Loki finds himself as the rather reluctant imaginary friend of a 6 year old girl, and even though he's a bit busy letting the frost giants into the weapons vault, and trying to take over Midgard, he keeps getting dragged back into her world. Inspired by the films Lilo & Stitch and Drop Dead Fred.

*~* This Is Your Badness Level *~*

Chapter 1 of 4

The first time it happened was after an argument with Thor.

It was just a silly spat, but an all too common occurrence lately for Loki's liking, and as usual it was Sif who started it.

"I don't wish to wear a dress to the feast," she had complained, when they had been informed that the visit of an ambassador was to be an extremely formal affair. "Perhaps you should wear it, Loki. It would undoubtedly suit you far more than I."

"Yes, Loki," Fandral pronounced, "Maybe after the mead and the dancing some handsome warrior will sweep you off your feet."

Loki was about to reply, when Thor began to laugh loudly, and instead he snapped, "Why are you laughing? You're my brother and yet you join in this mockery?"

"It is merely a jest. Do you not see the humour in it?"

"No, I see my own brother hurting me yet again," Loki fumed.

"Loki… you are far too sensitive." Thor laughed. "If you are going to weep like a maiden at such a sleight then perhaps Sif is correct."

Loki balled his hands into fists, turned on his heels and stormed away, with the sound of laughter echoing down the hall after him.


Loki ripped open the door to his private quarters, and slammed it viciously behind him. He was torn between absolute rage and breaking down in tears, but instead he threw himself onto his bed, buried his face into the black fur throw, and let out a scream of utter frustration.

He was trying to calm himself, plotting the various methods of revenge he would take against Thor and his friends, when he heard a voice in his head, so small and quiet that for a second he didn't know if he had imagined it or not.

When Loki had opened his eyes, instead of lying on soft black fur his fingers were tightly gripping a pink satin quilt, embroidered with delicate flowers, which smelled faintly of lavender.

He heard a sound, a whimpering so soft it could only have been made by a child, and as he lifted his head he saw a canopy of pink sparkling gauze that draped from the wall to the sides of the bed, and a soft doll lay discarded next to his hand. This was definitely not his room.

"Hello?" Loki asked, as he turned over, but no reply came, so he swung his legs off the edge of the bed, and stood up.

'Midgard' he thought as he looked around the room. It made sense. When people prayed to the gods for help, sometimes Loki would be called and he would find himself in a strange house, but the room he had appeared in this time was no peasants hovel.

It was small and bright, with a single window covered in shimmering sheer cloth that rippled in the breeze, and pastel pink painted walls. Loki couldn't imagine that a place like this would be host to giants or trolls.

The noise came again, and he turned to see a small figure clinging onto a soft furry animal, huddled besides a blue wooden box, which was painted with bright stars of many different colours.

"Are you all right?" Loki asked.

"Yes, thank you," a small female voice replied, her breath hitching with sobs.

"You don't sound all right," Loki said, peering over the box to get a better view of the child. "Has someone hurt you?"

"No," she replied. "I'm just sad."

"There is no need for tears, little one," Loki said, as he knelt next to her. "Why don't you tell me what has you so upset?"

"No one likes me," the girl whimpered, turning her face slightly to peep at Loki over the fuzzy head of her bear.

"But you seem like a fine upstanding young maiden to me. I can't imagine why no one would like you."

"They think I'm strange," she whispered, pulling the bear down further so Loki could finally see her face. "They call me names."


"The boys and girls at school. They don't want to be my friend, and they laugh at me because I like to read and stuff."

"I like to read," Loki told her, beginning to realise why out of all the gods that he might have been sent. "Do you think that makes me strange?"

The girl pulled her bear down completely, pushed her mousy brown hair off her face, and looked Loki up and down. She cast her eyes over his Asgardian tunic, leather boots, and gold trimmed trousers and said, "You do look a bit funny."

Loki looked down at himself, and said, "Well, yes I suppose I do, a little."

The girl smiled at him brightly, and Loki couldn't help but smile back at her, and she asked, "What's your name?"

"My name is Loki, I am a prince of Asgard, and I am very pleased to meet you," he said, as he stood and gave a flourishing bow. "How may I address you, fair maiden. I assume that you are a princess?"

She giggled. "I'm not a princess. I just like them."

"How extraordinary, I would have thought a girl who likes to read, and who is as pretty as you, would indeed be a princess. What is your name?"

"Amelia," she replied with a blossoming smile.

"That is a fine name, and tell me Amelia, how old are you?"

"I'm six. I'm a big girl now."

"So Amelia, I believe you invited me here. Is there any way I can help you?"

"I don't think so…" Amelia said with a frown, as she straightened out her battered princess dress. "Would you like some tea?"

"Why, I would love some tea," Loki replied.

Amelia stood up, moving out of her hiding spot behind the toy box, and began to clear the top of a small white plastic table. From another box she pulled a small pink plastic teapot, two saucers, and two teacups.

"Sit down, please," Amelia said, pointing to a tiny white plastic chair.

"It's a little small," Loki said, as he tried to ease himself down onto the child-sized chair, hoping it would bear his weight without the legs snapping off. When Loki finally settled he was practically bent double, with his knees tucked into his chest. It was uncomfortable, impractical, and he could barely breathe in his armour, but at least it hadn't broken and sent him sprawling backwards across the floor.

Amelia sat opposite him, picked up the teapot and poured nothing but fresh air into the cups. "Would you like milk?"

"Yes, please."

She picked up a small plastic jug and poured invisible milk into the empty cup, and passed Loki a spoon, which he used to stir his non-existent tea. He raised the cup to his lips, and took a long drink of nothing. "You make an excellent cup of tea, Amelia. I would venture to say that this is one of the best I have ever tasted."

Amelia smiled as she put down her spoon and picked up her cup, sticking her little finger out in a ladylike manner.

"So tell me, apart from the boys and girls at school, does everyone treat you well?" Loki asked, taking a delicate sip from his cup again.

"My daddy is nice to me."

"And your mother?"

"My mummy isn't here any more. She went to live with grandma and granddad in the sky with god."

"Oh, that's sad," Loki sympathised. "You must miss her very much, but I'm sure she thinks of you every day."

"Do you live with your mummy and daddy?"

"I do, and with my brother too," Loki replied with a frown. "I had a disagreement with my brother just before I came here. It wasn't very nice."

"What's his name?"

"He is called Thor."

The girl started to giggle and said, "That's a silly name. It sounds like 'sore'."

"Yes, I suppose it is a bit of a silly name," then Loki snickered and said, "It sounds like 'boar' too which is particularly apt."

"What?" the girl asked, her face creasing in confusion.

"A boar is a pig and he eats like one, just like this," Loki said, then he made oinking sounds, and pretended to sloppily fill his mouth with food. The girl shrieked with laughter, and Loki couldn't help but chuckle too.

"He made you sad?" she asked.

"Yes, he did."

"I don't like him then," Amelia replied curtly.

"He is all right much of the time," Loki sighed, "but yes, lately I don't like him very much, sometimes."

"Would you like to read a book with me?"

"I'd love to," he replied, and they sat on the floor together and read a book about a girl named Matilda, which Loki found fascinating, and as Amelia grew sleepy and closed her eyes, he blinked and found himself back in his own room back on Asgard.

He felt slightly disappointed to be home.


The second time it happened was slightly more inconvenient.

Thor's coronation was a week away, and Loki had plans. It had been relatively easy to convince the Jotuns to attack Asgard, and he had shown them how to traverse the secret paths so they could enter the weapons vault and steal the casket. Of course, he hadn't told them that they would no doubt perish in their attempt to take it, but he could never allow such a powerful and ancient relic to fall into the hands of those monsters.

All he had to do was get back home before Heimdall cast his gaze towards him and realised he was concealed, and his plan would be complete, but as he exited the secret pathway instead of being in his golden quarters, with it's elaborate bed and black fur pelt, he found himself stepping out into a small pink room with princess wallpaper.

"'Ello Loki!" Amelia shouted. "Why are you wearing that funny hat?"

"What... What am I doing here?" Loki asked, confused. "I did not hear you call for me."

"Have you come to play with me?" Amelia said, taking his hand, and leading him to the tiny white table. "We can have tea. Sit down."

"I don't have time for tea," Loki said. "I need to go home. It's very important."

"I want you to have tea with me," Amelia said, scowling and folding her arms in a very cross manner.

"I don't want to have-" Loki felt his body start to shift involuntarily, his legs moving, crouching, and he found himself sat on the chair against his will. "What is happening?"

"It's time for tea!"

"I don't want it!"

Amelia started to pour out the tea that didn't exist, and Loki found his hand reaching across to take hold of the cup.

"I can't stop it," Loki complained, as he grabbed his arm and tried to pull it back. "Are you a sorcerer?"

"Like Harry Potter? I don't think so," Amelia puzzled. "I just wanted you to have tea with me."

"Well, apparently I have little choice in the matter," Loki fumed, finally letting go of his arm, and watching his fingers snake around the small pink plastic cup.

"Are you supposed to be home for dinner?" Amelia asked.

"There is a feast… a party, tonight for my brother. If I am not present people will look for me, and it will be hard to explain where I have been."

"Is it your brother's birthday?"

"No, he is going to be crowned king in seven days. It is to celebrate that"

"Aren't you going to be king?"

"No, he is older than me, I have always known that he would be king, but my brother is silly. He will be a very bad king, and I want my father to see that."

"Are you going to tell your daddy?" Amelia asked. "It's not very nice to tell tales."

"No, I'm going to show him by letting the frost giants into the palace. Thor will over react, and my father will see once and for all that Thor is not ready to rule."

"What's a frost giant?"

"They are monsters," Loki replied. "They are very bad, and you are a lucky young girl because you will never have to meet one."

"You're a naughty boy!" Amelia said, as she stood. She walked to her bedroom door, opened it, and shouted, "Daddy!"

"No-no-no no! What are you doing?" Loki stammered, and he stood as he heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

A man entered the room, and said, "What is it, darling?"

"Loki has been a very bad boy," Amelia replied, with folded arms.

"What's he done now?"

"I haven't done anything," Loki said, nervously. "She's lying! Whatever she tells you, it's all lies!"

"Be quiet, Loki," Amelia said, then she turned to her father again. "He's letting strangers into his house!"

"That is a very naughty thing to do, and I'm glad you've told me about it," he said, then he picked up a teddy bear from the bed, shook it lightly, and said, "You've been a very naughty boy!"

Loki stood, stunned for a second that the man couldn't see him. This had never happened before, and when he was called to help a family in the past he could be seen by all.

"That's not Loki, daddy!" Amelia laughed, then she raised her arm and pointed. "He's stood here."

"Well, what shall we do with him, should we give him a smacked bottom?"

"No!" Loki shouted.

"Yes!" Amelia shouted.

"Well, why don't you lay him on my knee, and I'll spank his bum," the man said, as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Amelia turned to Loki, and said, "Lay on my daddy's knee."

"How dare you! I am a prince of Asgard and I will not submit to-" Loki stopped his snarling as he felt his body begin to move involuntarily, walking jerkily across the room, then kneeling so he could lay across the man's knee. "No! No! Amelia, stop your sorcery!"

"There you go, daddy."

"I am a son of Odin. How dare you attempt to strike me?" Loki exclaimed, and then he shrieked loudly as the man smacked his bottom.

"You've been a very naughty boy Loki," the man said, as he brought his hand down another 4 times, then he looked at Amelia and asked, "Has he learnt his lesson?"

Amelia looked at Loki, and noticed his cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, and said, "Yes, I think so. You can get up now."

Loki jumped off the man's knee, rubbing his backside vigorously.

"Thank you, daddy," Amelia said, as he bent down to give her a hug.

"Now, don't forget to tell me if he's naughty again, OK?"

"I will, daddy."

As her father left the room, Loki turned to Amelia and said, "Why would you do that?"

"It's wrong to talk to strangers, so it must be even wronger to let them into your house."

"I'm an adult," Loki seethed. "I can do what I want, and I don't want to be here any more."

"But… don't you want to be my friend any more?" Amelia stammered.

"No I don't," Loki hissed, then he saw Amelia's face crumple in sadness, and immediately regretted his words. He wanted to say sorry, say he didn't mean it, but he had a strange feeling that he was watching her cry through a small tunnel, and he was slowly travelling further and further away.

"No," Loki gasped, reaching out his hand as he saw her crying in the distance. "I didn't mean it." He blinked and found himself in his quarters on Asgard.

"Send me back!" Loki shouted at whatever power controlled when he was sent to answer prayers. "I demand to be sent back!"

He considered heading back to Midgard through the secret paths, but then realised that he had no idea where Amelia lived.

Loki knew he'd hurt the only person who had been nice to him in a long time.