A/N: I dedicate this bout of sleep deprived insanity to the wonderfully talented Wholockian over on youtube (or wholockian-221b on tumblr) whose incredible video (seriously, check it out!) inspired this monstrosity :) Hopefully you'll enjoy the madness though. This fic is set in an au!verse but has strong references to both series of Sherlock and of course to Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog so warning? ALL THE SPOILERS ;) (Well not all of them, but it's better to be safe than sorry). With no further ado, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog... and as you'll find out while reading this, that's probably a good thing.
Dr Watson's Sing Along Blog- Act 1
Entry Date 31st January: Just a quick update on my life. My evil laugh is coming along, I've been working with Ella, my vocal coach, to strengthen the 'ahhaa'... An evil laugh is important okay? I mean, if you're going to get into the evil criminal web of evil you have to have something memorable about you. Think of Moriarty with his pips...
Haven't got a response from the web yet... but my application is a lot stronger this year than most. I've got a 'letter of condemnation' from the deputy at the yard... that's got to mean something so, fingers crossed.
And before I forget, the trans-matter ray is 75% functional and, more importantly, the Freeze-Ray is almost finished... This is the one, I just know it, this is the one that will show him the way, show him that I'm a true villain... anyway, it stops time, let's see the Colonel deal with that one.
2sly4you: hey genius. Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it's not functional or it would be in the papers.
Dr.W: They're not going to say anything in the press, they don't want to people to panic. And the ray is functional because I do have the gold bars here... well they aren't exactly bars anymore but they were transported in bar form... it's not about making money, it's about taking money. I managed to get the bars... that has to count for something right?
andersonisawesome: Dr. Watson. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited outside Bart's hospital for 45 minutes and you still didn't show.
Dr. W: Ok, Anderson for the last time you're not my nemesis. My nemesis is Colonel Moran... who dislocated my shoulder last week... again... that's not important, what's important is that I'm going to change the world, OK? I don't have time for a grudge match with a forensic scientist with an obsession for dinosaurs. Besides, there's civilians in that hospital, so…
andersonisawesome: One of these days you shall face you nemesis, until then Dr. Watson.
Dr.W: I'm NOT your nemesis!
deadnotsleeping: I've followed you for a while now and I've finally plucked up the courage to leave you a comment :) I have to say I'm a huge fan of your work- the aluminium crutch switching ray was definitely one of the most promising you've made and this freeze ray also sounds amazing! Now I have to ask because I've been wondering for a while now about this... you always say on your blog that you will 'show him the way, show him you are a true villain'. Who is 'he' and does he even know that you're a villain?
Dr.W: Thanks. Um... do I really always say that?
Dr.W: Just checked and it seems that I do say that a lot. Well he is my brilliant and insane neighbour... and no, I'm not even sure he's aware I exist.
John stared at the words he'd just typed, frowning at the reality of them as his mind wandered to the curly haired man who lived across the hall from him...
See your door
Next to mine
"hey, I'm John"
Pass me by
With my Freeze-Ray I will STOP the world
With my Freeze-Ray I will find the time to find the words
Tell you how
How you make
Make me feel
What's the phrase?
Like a fool
With my Freeze-Ray I will STOP the pain
It's not a death-ray or an aluminium switching ray
I just think I need time to say
That I'm the guy to make it real
The feelings you don't dare to feel
I'll bend the world to our will
And we'll make time stand still
That's the plan
Rule the world
You and me
"Hey I'm John." Sherlock runs straight past him, phone at his ear as he yells instructions to a team of police officers who are protesting angrily at the other end of the phone. "Anyway."
With my Freeze-ray I will stop…
"Hey John." John blinked, startled from his daydream as his friend and partner in crime Lestrade entered with a couple of beers and his mail. "Hey Lestrade, my evil detective buddy. What's going on?"
Lestrade offered him a grin, "Oh you know, chasing criminals, living a life of crime." It was something that endlessly amused both of them that Lestrade managed to get away with being a criminal among the people trained to capture them... the police force really need to up their game or before they know it Moriarty will have crushed them... "Got your mail." He tossed the letters into John's lap, stealing his laptop to take a look at the comments on his blog. "I see Anderson still wants you to 'confront your nemesis then'?"
John rolled his eyes, "The man's an idiot Lestrade, not worth my time."
"At least you don't have to work with him." Lestrade pointed out, "He's a lot more annoying in person."
John offers Lestrade a sympathetic look before beginning to flick through his mail, "I saw Sherlock today."
"You talk to him?"
"I tried; he sort of... rushed past me. Didn't really have time to have a proper chat..." He frowned, trying not to read too much into Sherlock's dismissal. He probably just had somewhere that he'd really needed to be and... "Oh my god!" He held the letter with two dots and the letters JM stamped on the back of it up so that Lestrade could see it, his hands shaking slightly as he did.
Lestrade's eyes widened as he took in the letters marked on the envelope, "Is that from the web?"
"It's from HIM! That's his signature isn't it? JM and two pips." John ran the envelope between his hands experimentally, checking that he wasn't just imagining the letter and that it really was real.
"That's amazing John! Moriarty is the king of all criminals, the consulting criminal." He paused, eyeing the letter with concern. "Are you sure you want to…?"
"I'm sure." John replied with more confidence than he was feeling in that moment. "This is the letter I've been waiting for ever since I decided to put the ideas of joining the army behind me in order to heal a greater problem, the..."
"...sickness that plagues this world. Really John, you need to come up with a new catchphrase." John ignored him in favour of opening the letter and reading it.
Hi Johnny boy,
I got your application and I must say I'm very impressed. A letter of condemnation from the yard? You've certainly gotten more interesting since your last application... Of course, I can't just offer you a position in my web, you still have to prove yourself so... let the games begin Johnny boy ;) Impress me- commit a crime, show me what you're capable of (if you could, a murder would be lovely. They're always the most interesting). And don't forget Johnny boy that now the Evil criminal web of Evil is watching your every move... so don't disappoint me –JM
Lestrade moved to peer over John's shoulder as he read the letter, wincing at the implied threat in the letter. I mean it wasMoriarty so he hadn't really expected anything different but... he cared about John. The man was more brilliant than he realised (because really, who else would think of building all of these crazy super-rays anyway?) and more importantly he was Lestrade's best friend. "Well it's not a no…" He offered in the hope of reassuring John who seemed to have retreated into his own thoughts.
"Are you kidding? This is great! I'm about to pull off a major heist." His eyes lit up as he moved over to the freeze ray sitting on his desk, "I'm getting the Wonderflonium that I need for this tomorrow."
"One of Mycroft's armoured cars?"
"Police car. Shouldn't be too challenging..." They shared a grin.
"Want a hand with anything?"
"Thanks, but… Moriarty's watching, I should probably do this on my own." The words in case I fail and he kills me for it went unsaid between them but Lestrade could hear them all the same.
"Take care John." He smiled at the man sadly before walking out of the flat and heading for the police station. No doubt by now Sherlock would have driven the team half-insane and while working as a DI was only a cover, he quite enjoyed the job and the people he worked with (well most of them anyway) so it was probably about time to go and do damage control for whatever insults Sherlock had managed to concoct in his absence this time.
John was in a rush, he'd just set up the controller link to the police car and now he needed to find to a concealed spot, ready to activate the device once the Wonderflonium had been loaded into the car. He'd just spotted a promising looking alleyway when he felt someone crash into him from the opposite direction. "Sorry I..." His eyes widened as he looked at the face of the man he'd just crashed into, only to realise that he was staring into Sherlock's eyes...
"John Watson, once aspired to be an army doctor, reconsidered for several reasons, one of them to monitor your brother's drinking the other to pursue another career that a past flame got you interested in. You live in the flat opposite me." He offered his hand, "Sherlock Holmes."
"Hello. You know me?" He tried to hide his smile at that and knew he was probably failing, "That's... amazing, how did you know all of that?"
"The way you checked for injuries immediately after we collided made me aware of your medical training, as for the army part guess, good one though, based on the way you posture yourself. The phone in your hand, not yours it's addressed 'To Harry, Love Clara'. Phone given to you as a present says you and him are close, not going to war in order to look after them says very close so he's your brother. The drinking is evident due to the scratch marks made around the charger slot. Never see a drunk man's phone without them and you hardly seem like the type to drink too much yourself so the drinking habit was your brother's. The career change would have been introduced by someone important to you, not your brother because of his state, not your friends since you had been trying to detach yourself from them to make your enlistment easier on them so, romantic partner. You live alone now so ex-partner..." Sherlock's lips quirk into a slight smile, "And I would assume how I know your name and location would be evident."
John stared at the man, silently musing that he was even more incredible than he'd already thought, "Amazing." He wanted to say more but his phone beeped, drawing his attention away from the man in front of him for a moment as he checked the status of the police car.
Sherlock frowned slightly in confusion at the man's sudden distraction. He'd seemed genuinely interested in what the consulting detective had been saying and now... he was stood there, reading something on his phone and completely ignoring Sherlock's presence. He mused that given the expression on John's face, it wasn't a text that the man was reading but something of considerably greater significance... interesting he mused as he realised that there must have been something that he missed about the man in front of him. Now what was it? Slightly nervous shuffle said something to hide but open personality said not a killer, he didn't seem like the type to be involved in a complex criminal organisation either so... a petty criminal perhaps? Something about the deduction seemed inadequate but Sherlock's phone beeping to life distracted him from his train of thought as it displayed a new call from one of the idiots from the yard. John was still ignoring him so he moved away to take the call, offering John a hurried goodbye (he felt an unexplained need to show courtesy to the man... strange) before he answered the call.
John looked up from his phone at the sound of Sherlock's voice, realising that the man had walked away to take a call and that his behaviour had probably seemed pretty rude to the consulting detective and yet... "He talked to me." He smiled for a moment, allowing the fact to register within his mind... "Why did he talk to me now? Maybe I should…" His phone beeped again, reminding him of what was at stake here... he needed this heist to be a success if he ever wanted to join the evil criminal web of evil... A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.He sighed and moved into the alley way, activating the device and driving the wonderflonium towards where he now hid.
Colonel Moran (or Sebastian, but no one called him that anymore) leant back in his convertible, allowing the wind to ruffle his hair in a way that he knew would have his fan girls swooning. Yes, sometimes it was great to be the hero. Getting discharged from the army (no one ever needed to know the real reason for that did they?) was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He'd returned to nods of respect and pretty girls and boys batting their eyelashes and falling into his bed with little more effort than a seductive look in their direction... of course the fact that he'd saved the mayor's son's life while he'd been posted in Afghanistan had probably helped him gain that 'hero' status and then, just when he'd been losing the steam that his original 'act of bravery' had provided him with, along came Dr. Watson. Moran smirked as he pictured the doctor, working away at whatever ray he'd decided to try his luck with this time. No doubt the ray would be just as unsuccessful as all of the other rays he'd attempted to build... sometimes; Moran's job was just too easy.
And with that thought he reached down to punch the whirring device that had been added to the top of the car, smirking at the satisfying crunching noise that it made under his fist. He leapt from the vehicle, taking in his surroundings and the incredibly attractive man who was busy yelling into his phone, seemingly completely unaware of the car speeding towards him. He moved in front of the man, pushing him aside as he prepared to stop the car and grinning in satisfaction when it stopped in front of him without any effort of his own.
"You idiot!" He smirked as the familiar sound of his nemesis' angry voice filled the air.
"Dr. Watson. I should have known you were behind this."
"You almost killed him!" Watson's face was so angry that Moran couldn't help but chuckle, how precious, it seems that Doctor Watson has a little crush.
"I remember it differently." He smirked, gripping Watson's neck tightly as he cut off his airways, just enough to choke him... he'd didn't exactly want to kill the man who ensured his continued 'hero' status.
Sherlock pulled himself up from where he'd been unceremoniously tossed into the rubbish piled at the edge of the street. He was slightly frustrated by the treatment but considerably more fascinated by the man who, it seemed, had been capable of stopping a police car at full speed. There was clearly something that Sherlock was failing to observe about the man because the deductions that his mind was providing at the simple observation of his 'saviour' didn't seem to match the profile of a person capable of achieving such a feat. "Thank you Colonel for preventing that car from colliding with me, I'd imagine the end result of such a collision would have been rather unpleasant."
Moran offered the attractive looking man a grin, "Don't worry about it sweetheart, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." A part of Sherlock's mind supplied that this was an incredibly cliqued statement and said much about the man's lack of intellect and yet, a part of him still remained fascinated by this so-called hero (to confirm whether or not he deserved that title required further study of the subject of this 'heroism', he decided) who, it seemed, was capable stopping that van.
John frowned as he watched Moran offer Sherlock a grin that was far too friendly for his liking... "Stop looking at him like that." He found himself saying before he could stop himself, but he was completely ignored by the two men who seemed to be locked in some kind of silent conversation with one another. Did you notice that he threw you into a pile of rubbish? You notice everything? Surely you've noticed that he's a tool that puts even Anderson to shame? But Sherlock didn't react to John's silent protests as he continued to observe the man in front of him with a look of fascination that made something incredibly unpleasant stir within John's chest. "I stopped the van! The remote control was in my hand." He waved the remote in the air for emphasis but it was no use as the pair in front of him still remained ignorant to his presence. He frowned, but decided to cut his losses and grab the wonderflonium while he still could. At least then some of this mission would be successful. As he left, he couldn't help but notice the way Sherlock seemed to lean closer to Colonel Moran as he talked to the hero and was he... smiling?...shit.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the madness, there's a good two acts worth left to go yet ;) Let me know what you all think!