Fleeing The Void


Klaus Schilling


Abstract:

The Rating of the story is PG-13.

The story is a derivative work from several third-party owned Nickelodeon Productions such as Drake & Josh and other works of art as described in the footnotes.

Genres include fluff, family, adventure, mystery, spiritual, horror, drama, friendship, science fiction et alii.

The story occurs in the identified universe of a huge variety of current or past live action shows produced for Nickelodeon channel, including, but not restricted to, Drake & Josh, Supah Ninjas, The iCarly Show, Unfabulous, Victorious, Zoey 101, How To Rock, Big Time Rush, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, True Jackson VP, House Of Anubis, and makes heavy use of a variety of members of their casts.

The timeline of the story postdates the canonical end of Drake & Josh, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and Unfabulous. It falls into third season of Zoey 101, assuming every episode up to Paige At PCA according to production numbers as found on the wikipedia list of Zoey 101 episodes to have already happened. The iCarly Show is the content of the nightmares of Megan Parker. There seems to be no consistent canonical time map for those seasons of Zoey 101, Schneider has screwed it up big times, so it is the holy duty of fanfiction writers to twist and bend everything to make sense.

Victorious is the content of the nightmares of Lola Martinez.

Season three of Zoey 101 is supposed to cover sophomore and junior year of Zoey Brooks, the cut being before the episode Wrestling. Good-Bye, Zoey and Season four covers her senior year.

Using the fake name Paige Howard (from Zoey 101: Paige At PCA), Megan Parker helps Melinda Crenshaw to wreak havoc on the students of Pacific Coast Academy, but she regrets it. Thereupon, she is plagued by nightmares — the canon of The iCarly Show — of a life as a nice girl in Seattle with Crazy Steve as her weird yet caring custodian. But what will she decide to do after waking up? What is she trying to flee from, and whereto?

Her decisions change the course of all the subsequent canons severely.

Couples include


Drake Parker / Lola Martinez alias Victoria Vega alias Shelby Marx (from The iCarly Show: iFight Shelby Marx)
Joshuah Nichols / Stacey Dillsen
Megan Parker alias Carly Shay alias Paige Howard (from Zoey 101: Paige At PCA) / Dustin Brooks
Eric Blonowitz / Quinn Pensky
Audrey Parker / Gavin Mitchell
Walter Nichols / Coco Wexler
Melinda Crenshaw / Wayne "Fire Wire" Gilbert
"Crazy" Steve Shay / Fawn Leibowitz (from Victorious: Crazy Ponnie) alias Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby (from Zoey 101:Bad Girl
Helen Baxter / Malcolm Reese (from Zoey 101: Spring Breakup)

Acknowledgements

The story is written for LiveJournal-Community Tamingthemuse, prompt Subterfuge.

The story is inspired by third-party owned song Fuggo Dal Nulla by Eros Ramazzotti.


Contents


Chapter 1 Prologue
1.1 Mindy's Revenge
1.2 Action At PCA
1.3 Blackout
Chapter 2 The Nightmare
2.1 Waking Up
2.2 Talking About The Dreams
2.3 Meaning Of The Dream
Chapter 3 The Way Back To PCA
3.1 Breaking Marriage
3.2 Telling Drake
3.3 Adelaide Singer
3.4 The Shrink Of Malibu
3.5 Visitors' Day
3.6 101 Brenner Hall
3.7 Enrolling
Chapter 4 One Year At PCA
4.1 My Dormitory Room
4.2 Mr. Combover
4.3 To Good Old England
4.4 Jealousy Drama
4.5 Semester Break
4.6 Abandoned By The Parents
4.7 New Term — New Students
4.8 Quinn goes astray.
4.9 The Return Of Vincent Blake
4.10 Wendy likes Michael.
Chapter 5 Epilogue

Chapter 1 Prologue


1.1 Mindy's Revenge

Hello, my name is Parker … Megan Parker.

I was a girl that had spent most of my life in the fairly big city of San Diego at the Californian border facing Mexico, although the vicinity was not realy sensible here in my quarter videlicet Belleview. Nachos, tacos, and burritos were popular here, but so they were even in Maine.

My parents divorced pretty soon, and I was pretty much the reason for that, but nobody had ever told me, neither mom Audrey nor my elder brother Drake, well, I had never been expecting much good from that annoying jerk, anyways. And then Audrey married some other man named Walter Nichols who had got a really disgusting dork of a son named Joshuah.

Drake and Josh were a totally abominable couple, and I called them thence "boobs" — wonder why — and had to defend myself by means of pranking those useless guys over and over again. There are so many stories to tell about this topic, but time urges tp skip most of them, maybe making it necessary to recapitualate one epiode or the other later on upon some appropriate opportunity.

Josh had got a girlfriend, well at least on and off, named Mindy Crenshaw who was very geeky and savy, something Josh was as well, at least tosome extent, but his habit of clinging to Drake too much made it — on the one hand — harder for him to concentrate on his true destination as a scientific researcher and — on the other hand — was a huge obstacle in his relationship with Mindy.

I had got my troubles with Melinda Crenshaw as well, especially in the very beginning, but I was occasionally also working for her without any discernible qualms, which made us particularly dangerous especially for the boys.

Nevertheless, this time there was a very different mission for which Mindy needed my help, and this had not much top do with Drake or Josh, well, indirectly it did, but that's a different story to be wrought in later on.

Mindy had recently won the national science fair with one of her invention, a universal power converter, but she had used a fake name for her adventure: Paige Howard. The reason for that is that Mindy had once upon a time blown up the Californian science fair with a photon cannon[1:1] and was thus not qualified for participating ever again, but — ironically — her new invention was even potentially a whole lot more dangerous, as we will see later on.

The particularly fake identity, Paige Howard, had also been more or less my idea, as there was really such a girl living in Colorado, a class mate of Jessica,[1:2] one of my friends of my good old times at Seal Beach in Orange County.[1:3]

Upon having been awarded, "Paige Howard" was invited by some educational institutions for a presentation of her fantabulous inventuion, and one of those schools was Pacific Coast Academy, an absolutely illustrious and elitarian boarding school located down by the dreamy beach of alinu just outside the Gates of Los Angeles. Mindy wanted to make it there, but there was one severe problem, and that involved the fact that Mindy was already well know at that school, but most definitely not in a good way.[1:4]

Years ago, Melinda Crenshaw had fumbled with the car of unpopular teacher Linda Hayfer, and she had tried to get Drake framed for it. But I had been able to untarnish that fraudulent strategy in time, getting Melinda Crenshaw expelled from our school in Belleview.[1:5] During that suspension, Mindy had found some temporary subterfuge by enrolling at Pacific Coast Academy, using yet another fake name and wreaking quite some havoc that got her expelled again. More precisely, she had plagiarised the bakpack design of popular blond "Mary Sue" Zoey Brooks and tried to sell it to other students on the campus. Her business got busted, leading to Mindy's fast expulsion from the elitarian prep school. Alaso, and only few pupils know about this, Mindy had secretly messed with the invention of Quinn Pensky, the most gifted nerd girl at Pacific Coast Academy who had been developing new fruits by means of genetic engineering, for Mindy was envious because Quinn was younger by two years, but still demonstrating about the same amount of genius. By the way, the business with the counterfeited backpacks had never been abandoned, Mindy was still maintaining it using a network of frenchise vendors at a huge varieties of schools in southern California.

Now Mindy saw this invitation as a way to get back at Zoey Brooks and her friends, including Quinn Pensky whom she was up to humiliating beyond any hitherto beknownst measure. I was going to go to the campus of that school, feigning to be Paige Howard and functioning as a sort of marionetta for Mindy. We would be communicating by means of some micro chips, a very efficient technology. Otherwise I would not have been able to feign being thoroughly knowledgeable in science and in technology, you know, all that geek stuff.


1.2 Action At PCA

Zoey Brooks was also known to me from some other source videlicet Drake. This jerk was one poprock idol, and he had started his career a few years before when he substituted Devin Malone, the lead guitarist of poprock group Zero Gravity.[1:6] Soon thereafter he had been hired by Zoey Brooks for a spring fling at Pacific Coast Academy, and instead of paying with money she had taylored him the new outfit for the band.[1:7] Drake was still on and off talking about her in a really horny manner, wondering how hot she must have become during the last two years, and this made me particularly curious. By the way, Zoey was my assigned guide across the campus, making the whole affair a bit more of a critical challenge. My first impression was not that of a typical irresponsible fangirl hankering crazily after guys like Drake, but she was definitely much more responsive and careful. She had got a little brother of my age whose name was Dustin and whome she cared about very much.

With the little voice in my ear, I had got no problems sounding like a geek girl, and much smarter than Quinn who started pretty soon turning nervous and envious because I was the younger of us. She even flunked another invention, a zero gravity chamber, because she was horribly distracted by my vicinity, and she was already so totally close to giving up science for good.

And now I was demonstrating Mindy's hell machine, a universal power converter that was otherwise only found in some cheap science fiction and fantasy cartoons. Melinda's instructions were very precise, and the experiment went very well from the start, at least this was the case for a few minutes, but then everything seemed to have gone awry, for some reason. Mindy did not seem to care for real, as she would not have been unhappy in the case of the whole school blowing up, so her instructions were now no longer as good as before, and, gfiven my lack of knowledge about advanced technology and physics, I would have been lost without a lasty-minute, no, a last-second intervention of Quinn Pensky. Zoey had contributed a lot towards calming me and others down during thise minutes of excruciating peril, and I would have a hard time ever watching again into her eyes.

We were now havig a smoothie on the camous, and everything seemed nice and spice, but my remorses were growing from second to second. For the time being, I was able to hide everything, but this was like holding a pack of grim wolves by the ears, wolves getting more and more angry the longer I was trying to bear them, and who would sooner or later devour me on site. I just had to get away from everyone and everything, but where to go?


1.3 Blackout

A week had gone by, and I was still able to feign that everything was normal, fooling all of them, videlicet Drake, Josh, Audrey, and Walter. Now I was alone in the garden behind our residence, unnoticed by the boobs or anyone else for this matter, when I felt increasingly weird and dizzy, until finally my lights went out, and I collapsed and slumped to the floor …


Chapter 2 The Nightmare


2.1 Waking Up

Of course while I was uncunscious I had got no idea of how much time was passing in reality, but the dream seemed to span for several years.

And now it was all over, and the first thing I saw was annoying neighbourhood kid Robert Carmichael,[2:1] and I was stuck in a tree house … Robbie's tree house.

A year ago, Drake and Josh had ruined it while playing with toy rockets, and we had to rebuild it. My thoroughly evil mother had forced me too help them, making me miss out on the birthday of my best friend Janie.[2:2] She would — or so I had sworn ever since — so pay for this reckless perversity, one day, as would Drake and Josh, or — as I prefer to call them — "The Boobs". But the reconstruction had failed because the "boobs" were completely worthless and foul, so the Carmichaels had to hire some qualified carpenter in order to fix the floating habitat of their son. This craftsman was a woodshop teacher from Santa Clarita in Los Angeles County whose real name was not known and who was referred to as one "Dusty Chopsaw" because of his supreme skills with woodworking tools.

Often enough I had wished my mom and my goofball of a stepfather named Walter to have disappeared for good, and that I had got brothers different from those disgusting boobs, such as "Crazy" Steve Johnson,[2:3] some psychopath working at nearby cinema "Première Theater". But nobody had taken my wishes serious, except … this dream! But I will return to this very important subject later on.

Now I was awake, but I remembered that I had not fallen asleep or unconscious in here, and thus I expected how I had made it up the rickety ladder leading from the lawn up the mighty tree. "Am I a somnambule or what?"

Robert grinned and explained that he had found me lying lifeless in the lawn and then dragged up here, it had been a week or so. Then he had dragged me up the ladder in order to protect me from the weather. Well, at least the work of "Chopsaw" was — or so I hoped — stable and did not crush as Drake's and Josh's poor excuse of a tree house.

I wondered, "why have you not told the boobs or mom or my goofy step dad?" Well, I would not have wanted to be found by them, dead or alive, as they would have submitted me to further mental pains and terror, so his decision to hide me in this house had probably been a good one, who knew?

Robbie sighed deeply and explained that he was on vacations right now, and that Drake, Josh, mom, and Walter were gone to Colorado, because they had hoped to find me there with Jessica. The reason for this was that I had often enough expressed the wish to flee there, I had even written it down somewhere in my room, and the boobs had possibly found it when looking for me. In addition, they wanted to avoid having to give a Spring party for their friends here and thus welcomed an occasion to move away for the week. "But Doc Glazer[2:4] has been here in order to take care of you, every other day."

I sighed deeply when I heard the name of Glazer, whom I would rather qualify as a quack than a doc because he used to charge insane amounts of bucks for trivialities and obvious diagnoses, but it was better than being left to rot up here.

What I did not know was the fact that Glazer was the uncle of aforementioned Zoey Brooks from Pacific Coast Academy, and this would have made me worry if I had kniown about it.

Robbie was a student of said elitarian boarding school as well, and he would return there after the end of the current spring break. So he had wasted almost all of his break just for me, which was a bit strange. "By the way, Glazer's nephiew Dustin, my room pal at Pacific Coast Academy, is with me during this break."

I gasped, as I had already heard about Zoey Brooks's little brother Dustin, he was definitely not a boob. But the feeling of having been watched unconscious by some — according to my current informations — fairly unbeknownst boy was a bit worring. "What have you and Dustin done while watching me lifeless?"

Robbie started coughing and stammering without making much of a discernible sense,

I decided to refrain from insisting in getting to know the details, for boys were always a bit weird, at least most of the time.

A car was heard halting at the main street near the tree house, and Robbie recognised it as that of Glazer, and this meant that Dustin Brooks was coming to vist Robert as well.

A few minutes later, Glazer and his nephiew had found their way, and they were a bit surprised because of my unnaturally fast recovery. The medic praised his own efforts and required 500 bucks for the whole week, which sounded not too much cpompared to other bills he had already issued. I told him to call Helen Baxter, the owner of aforementioned "Première Theater", and command her to subtract that amount of bucks from the salary of Josh who had still got a job over there. I had done this a few times already, but not as much as Drake.

Doc Glazer liked the concept, so he picked up his cellular phone and started to type the nuber of the cinema where he had already been many times as a paramedic for several reasons, especially if "Crazy" Steve had run out of his medications, but also when elderly visitors had suffered heart attacks from watching certain horror movies at midnight.

There was of course one disadvantage, and this was the fact that Helen now knew about me being here in Belleview, but she would be able to keep ita secret until the scheduled return of mom from Colorado.

Dustin was really sweet, nice,and smart, making me blush pretty fast, although I was about one foot taller than Zoey's little brother.

Glazer checked my pulse, my reflexes, and similar stuff, and everything seemed OK, for the time being, but I would have to take certain pills for the next days, just in case.

So I seemed to have physically recovered from the loss of consciousness, but this did not fully explain why and what I had dreamed during my black out.


2.2 Talking About The Dreams

In the afternoon I was still sitting with Dustin and Robbie in the tree house, knowing that they would have to leave me behind the next day in order to return to the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

I started to summarise my dream.


I was … like … a 'nice girl next door' living in Seattle in the state of Washington, along with Steve as my elder brother. But our names were Carly and Spencer. Dad was of course away in a submarine, and mom just … was not there at all.

Basically, I had got two best friends named Samantha and Fredward. The latter lived next door, while Sam lived a few streets and a bus stop away.

Really, Freddie was no other than Toplin Wheeler,[2:5] the younger brother of Drake's former friend Thornton.

Toplin had hit on me last year for a few days, but Drake had told him clearly that I had not been interested, given that I had been heart-broken by some Corey[2:6] just a bit before. In the dream, however, nobody was able to keep Fredward from hitting on me over and over again in the most perverse manner, and sometimes I had even given in, that was after he had saved me from getting run over by a truck.[2:7]

Samantha was no other than Fawn Leibowitz, my former friend from a summer camp who is plain creepy and annoying, so Drake has told her to stay away from me. Now Sam was not just creepy, but plain criminal and evil, a blond demon par excellence. When I met Fawn for the first time, she had stolen my tuna sandwich. But Sam was even worse, she wanted to push my boyfriends down an elevator shaft,[2:8] and she had pushed a pageant girl down the stairs.[2:9] She was also repeeatedly mean to Fredwrad, I mean, he had deserved it and stuff, but the worsdt horror was when the two of them were dating.

Why — and so I even wondered in the dream — had I ever been sinking to the level of trusting Samantha, although she was always treating me and others like dirt?


Dustin Brooks interrupted me, remarking "Did you say Fawn Leibowitz?" His face went dark like shadowed by a thundercloud.

I nodded, wondering "do you know Fawn?" Was this a good or a bad sign?

Dustin sighed deeply and explained full of shame and disgust: "Two years ago, Fawn was a student at Pacific Coast Academy, but she used a fake name: Trisha Kirby. She seems to have made quite some habit using fake names."

I sighed deeply and full of mercilessly tormenting feelings of shame because I was still dismayed by the fact of having been at Pacific Coast Academy using a fake name.

Dustin continued, mentioning that he and Trisha or Fawn had even been a couple for a few days.

Fawn had been in his classes for chemistry, and she never stuck to the laboratory rules as she liked poisons and explosives in action, especially venomous explosives.

"Our teacher, Mr. Gangrel, had assigned me as her lab partner because I was so responsible, but then she seduced me recklessly, and I was too young and helpless," Dustin moaned.

That sounded so much like Fawn or Samantha, and I wondered, "so, how did your relationship come to an end?"

Dustin explained, " my sister Zoey was against the relationship from the beginning, and she sent her friend Chase up to the front in order to dissuade Trisha from dating me any longer. Chase was able to do so, but with the effect that he was now dating Fawn. And this made Zoey jealous of fawn, and me jealous of Chase. I challenged him to a duel which he lost. Trisha trashed Chase because he was such a loser, but I did not want Trisha back because she was such a mean cheater."

I nodded solemnly. "In my dream, Samantha denied that she had kissed boys before Freddie,[2:10], but she was a professional liar and cheater. But I stuck up for her, anyways, which of course I would not do in real life, no more." I shuddered for disgust. "Do you know where Fawn is now dlurking about?"

Diustin shook his head and explained that Zoey had got Fawn expelled from Pacific Coast Academy for her thoroughly inappropriate demeanour.

I sighed deeply, because as Carly I had often embarrassed myself by saving Sam from expulsion from our school, Ridgeway.

Robbie asked me what were were doing most of the time in our life in Seattle.

I replied that we were running a web show named iCarly which had apparently been totally popular and successful.

Robbie grinned because he would love to see such a web show, but the ones he knew were so infinitely lame.

I had got a web site with funny videos of my pranks pulled on Drake and Josh,[2:11] but this was still not a real show as it lacked live sessions. Maybe this was just not my style, or I was a bit too lazy. Carly had to work hard for her show, but it all came so easy to her, and Sam, inspite ofbeing usually busy with looting fridges, seemed to be up to accomplish her job as well. Freddie had been a real tech wiz and cared for the camera and the interweb connection.

Dustin told me about abn attempt by aforementioned Chase Bartholomew Matthews and his best friend Michael Barret to run a web show[2:12] on their own, even without a tech producer, who would have been — or so I supposed — Quinn Pensky. Chase's and Michael's show had been exorbitantly lame and got only spiced up by heated discussions between Zoey Brooks and Logan Reese.

Spoiled coxcomb Logan was the room pal of Chase and Michael, and he was also the son of multigazillionary Malcolm Reese, one of the hugest Hoillywood producers ever.

These disputes had increased the value of the show beyond any limit, but the students had not been able to keepthe discussions to themselves and continued them during the classes, forcing Dean Rivers to shut down the show, against the protests of Zoey Brooks who even mobilised the local population to protest violently against censorship. But Chase and Michael had been too tired to continue the whole mess, making the show die a fast but natural death. While the show was illegal at Pacific Coast Academy, Zoey and Logan had been hired by a regional broadcast corp to continue their disputes in one of their shows, but the blond Mary Sue had flunked it badly because she was still protesting against the Dean's actions, and she even abused the TV show for spreading her hatred against that unpopular decision.

Oh well, as Carly, I had also been promoted to a TV show host.[2:13] The producer was one Brad, but I really knew this creep as Principal Eichman, the headmaster of Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts. In the dream, this job for the TV had gone awfully awry, and we had to drop back to our good old web show.

I knew Hollywood School For The Professional Arts because Drake had been thinking recently about hiring as an adviser for their school rockband, and he had watched videos of their middle school performances. Some of thekids also appeared in my dream, such as Beck Oliver, a really gifted actor, then Jade West who was a gothgirl and Beck's completely unsuited girlfriend. In one segment of my dream I had been visiting one of their parties.[2:14] The host had been one André Harris who appeared in my dream both as himself and as one Harper,[2:15] a totally gifted guitarist and singer. The most annoying appearnace had been bimbo wench Caitlín Valentine. I was also scared by one Robert Shapiroo, a guy that was talking to his doll all the time.

The popularity of "my" web show had also attracted other enviars and plagiarisers, especially a certain Dingo Channel who stole each and every fearture from the show without a credit. But we had always struck back severely.

Dustin told me that his sister was a passionate fashion designer, and that she had also got many mean enviars and plagiarisers, such as a girl that had once stolen her backpack design. He had probably not been aware of the fact that I knew that plagiariser fairly well, and that I had been at Pacific Coast Academy in order to wreak some havoc on her behalf. He had not seen me at all when I presented Mindy's hellengine as his class had been on a field trip.

It was hard for me, but now I had to come out with the truth about my deal with Melinda Crenshaw, for Dustin and Robbie did not deserve getting left in the dark. It was not easy for me to admit to the whole crap, but it had to be done, and now I feared the worst. "I woould notm wonder if you don't want to have to do with me any longer, as I am such a mean girl." I sobbed deeply after having reveiled the whole ugly mess.

Dustin shook his head and remarked, "I can be pretty bad, too, remember when I stuck my hand into the vendor machine in order to impress Lola by fetching her a candy bar?"[2:16]

Robbie nodded solemnly. "Oh yeah, too bad you were stuck and …"

I gasped. "Cool! Those vendor machines suck big times!"

Lola, by the way, was one of Zoey's best friends, a fledgling Holywood diva of some sort, and she had appeared twice in my dream, once as a martial artist named Shelby Marx,[2:17] and once again as Victoria Vega, a student at Hollywood School For The Professional performance Arts.[2:18] She was very popular although she had hitherto only shot short movies and commercials, thus she was still awaiting the real start of her great carer, and she was up to earning her first Oscar at the age of nineteen or earlier … the earlier, the better, of course. I had met Lola when feigning to be Paige Howard, she used to be an occasional victim of Quinn's experiments. According to Los Angeles Actors' Catalogue, her middle name was Victoria, while Vega was her mother's maiden name … wow, my dreammust have remembered all this all though I had just overread those informations. But why I had dreamed about Lola's other rôle as a martial artist was hard to understand, maybe because Lola's dad had been a great athletin the nineties.[2:19]

Dustin remarked that I was one of the smartest and coolest girls in California, and he would not listen to the lies of all the evil creeps who foulmouthed me for my pranks on the boobs, and that was of course an ecxtremely good thing to know. I had already got other friends at Pacific Coast Academy, such as Wendy Gellar, a lass that had once got an insane crush on Drake, and Hollywood child diva Ashley Blake,[2:20] who had been away on the same field trip as Dustinand Robbie when I was there for a presentation. I would have loved to visit them there, and maybe, but this was not yet very likely, even go tho said illustrious educational institution for my high school time. And having to face the hostility of all those who had been hiurt already a lot by "Paige Howard" would have been a bad thing, right?

Robbie asked me how Crazy Steve … er … Spencer Shay was as a brother.

Oh well, usually, Spencer had been totally cool, a freelance artist who had abandoned a potential career as a lawyer, but he had not been very responsible, causing grandpa to come down and almost take me away from him.[2:21] Really, I had not seen my dad's father in quite a few years, but bear with it. Spencer had often set things randomly on fire and been the archnemesis of the fire brigades of Seattle. Alas, there had been a few things where Spencer had been perversely stricty. For example he had not allowed me to go to a mixed martial arts event or to date some guy named Griffin. Maybe this was the kind of guy who would have made "crazy" Steve jealous? Anyways,

Now time had been flying by too fast, so Dustin and Robbie had to leave again. I waved sadly at the little brother of Zoey Brooks, as I would not se him again for quite some time, if at all.


2.3 Meaning Of The Dream

OK, so I had always been complaining about Drake being such a foul excuse of a big brother, and that Steve would have been such an indefinitely much better choice.

While knocked out, I had come to live this alternative possibility as a dream. Yeah, Spencer was a cool big brother, so much different from Drake and Josh, but there were many things that made me unhappy, partly already while dreaming, but especially when recalling the vision after awakening and going through it with Robbie and Dustin.

The major problem was that Spencer lacked a lot of responsibility, and he allowed me to hang out with two people that were downright poisonous for my soul, and here I am talking about Samantha Puckett, or — in reall life — Fawn Leibowitz, and about Fredward Benson, better known – in my world — as Toplin Wheeler.

Drake, with or without Josh, would have been fore careful and would have been able to dissuade or discourage me from hanging out with the wrong kids, even though I had not understood why they were so bad. I still remember when he risked his head when defending me gainst Corey. I had been dating the creep for seven weeks when Drake found out that I had not been the only girlfriend of this ruthless bastard, he had been dating one Monica Chance at the same time.[2:22] Drake and Josh even risked their lives when they stuck up for me against that jock trained in martial arts.

Drake was probably not such a bad brother after all, and I certainly owed him an apology, didn't I?

But that was not the only persons I had to feel sad for, as I had treated some kids injustly in my dream that I knew from my life before Belleview and that I had neglected ever since.

One of them was Nevel Amadeus Papperman, well, this was his name in the dream, I only knew him as Amadeus in real life, and he had been with me at music school in Orange County when I had started learning to play the oboe. He had got great visions, both concerning musics and running a little business, and I had called them a bit out of the way. In my dream, he was very arrogant and tried to sabotage the web show, but our revenge was horrible. After all, nevel had just tried to get me away from the bad company of Fredward and Samantha, and to replace the embarrassing content of my show with something showing a lot more style.

The other one was Melissa Robinson,[2:23], one of my best friends from y two years at Seattle Beach. I must have neglected her badly. In my dream, she had come back into my life and tried to poison Samantha, whence I had dropped Missy for goosd and made fun of her. Of course also Missy had just tried to save me from bad company.

Actually, I did not know where Amadeus or Melissa were living now, but I wished to find them again, no matter what.

So, my dream had been basically a subterfuge from Drake, and from my mistake of trusting Mindy, or neglecting a bunch of former friends. But maybe this was superficial, and I needed to find a way out of the misery.

The whole dream had only exhibited me as an excessive degenerated version of myself, as someone that I would never have been for real. Of course, a few times, the one and only Megan Parker was showing through, but there must have been more to the message of all of it.


Chapter 3 The Way Back To PCA


3.1 Breaking Marriage

Audrey and Walter looked pretty much surprised when they were returning from my friend Jessica Warner's home in Colorado without having found me, but saw me standing right in the door frame, whistling innocently. I told them about having been found unconscious by neighbours, but treated successfully by Doc Glazer who had restored my consciousness after those few days.

Jessica had, by the way., also been in my dream, but she was there already much older and worked as a reporter for some sensationalist news show named Backstage Hollywood.[3:1]

Audrey appeared to be glad about having me back, but I sensed strongly that this joy was superficial, if not downright hypocritical. Goofball Walter did not say anything reasonable at all, alias "business as usual". During the last months, their marriage had been suffering badly, although they had not admitted to this in any way, but I saw that there was something wrong, and it stank like the kitchen wastes from "Sushi Rox", the Japanese bar on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

I had always been of the opinion that the two of them were never meant to be a couple, for Audrey was very serious, while Walter was a complete mess. This impression had increased over the course of years.

One year earlier, Gavin Mitchell, one of the severely underpayed elderly employees of "Première", had had a crush on Audrey and even admitted to it during a party at our house.[3:2] Maybe there was more to it than had hotherto met our inert eye and our mistuned ears?


3.2 Telling Drake

Drake and Josh had not been with mom and dad in Colorado in order to look for me, but they had got other kinds of business to do. Indeed he had been on tour at the traditional Spring Concert in Fresno, also known as a "burrito festival".[3:3], in other word, it was a mixture of a concert and a banquet. Drake was a complete nacho addict, by the way, and thus unable to resist the invitation, although it was not really his musical style.

As expected, the boob did not seem exactly pleased by seeing me again, so he rushed quickly into the opposite direction, and he also told us that Josh had gone straight to the cinema in order to talk to Helen about his schedule until the summer break.

I followed Drake to his room where he was about to unpack his guitar, little pleased when noticing that I had been following him there. I told him that we needed to talk urgently, and this time, it was not a prank.

He was still looking suspicious and smelled a big hitch somewhere underneath, although I had not yet started talking for real.

I was sighing deeply and panting like a rusty steam engine before starting to talk about my dream.

Drake feigned listening, but he seemed bored and urged me to come to a fast end, although this turned out to bevery hard, given that the dream had lasted several days.

So I simply jumpred to the conclusion, declaring "I am sorry for having called you a miserable brother and that I wanted to be with Steve instead." I lowered my head for feeling thoroughly ashamed.

Drake suspired, as he was really shocked by my revelations, and he stammered, "and did I or my music appear in the dream?" He stood up and hugged me sounding, excusing himself as "sorry, I just felt like it, thanks for not seeing me any more as worse than Steve. I will buy you new clothes, should you have to burn your current ones because of my germs."

I shrugged and replied, "well, Samantha had got a life-sized poeter of you in her locker, but that's about all."

Drake's eyes bugged out, and he stuttered, "Samantha … that is really Fawn, right? She is a fan of me?"

I shrugged cluelessly because that had just been a dream, and I has not really come to know any news about Fawn since elementary school. "The real runners in my dream were Cuttle Fish,[3:4] David R. Couleda,[3:5] whom I … er … Carly … helped to win 'America Sings', Tom Hickinson,[3:6] and One Firection.[3:7] Really, neither of those are my taste, I still stick to my oboe and Mozart, Verdi, Beethoven …"

Drake nodded. "I know you will necver be a rock groupie, but it's better you stay yourself, I would not want a mock Megan, even if it was my greatest fan."

I grinned mischievously. "I need your help with something else … you know Pacific Coast Academy, don't you? That wonderful boarding school near Los Angeles. Some of my friends are there , and …"

Drake guessed what I was going to talk about, and he nodded solemnly. "Finally, mom is the one who has to say, but if you really want to go there, we jjust have to convince her that it is the best place for you to go. It certainly gets you a better place in college and so on … not that I would care any less about that …"

I grinned sweetly and wondered about how to persuade mom.

Josh finally returned from Helen's theatre, and he looked quite upset, yelling, "Miss Baxter has deduced five hundred bucks from my salary, why? Drake, Megan, have you got something to tell me?"


3.3 Adelaide Singer

The dream suffered during my phase of unconsciousness or comatosity had been so tricky that I had decided to inform not only my good old friend Wendy Gellar from Pacific Coast Academy about it, but also her cousin Adelaide from the east coast whom I had not seen in over two years, but with whome I had hung out whenever she was had been visiting her relatives here in San Diego.[3:8]

Adelaide was almost three years older than us, but she had always been a great friend to have around. She had of course heard about Wendy's life at the elitarian boarding school, but she had never felt fabulous enough to be worthy of Pacific Coast Academy.

Well, you had to be fabulous for such a school? OK, maybe … but she was a great pot in the tradition of Edgar Allan Poe,[3:9] the front runner of American dark romantics, following the British example of Horace Walpole.

Nevertheless, even Addie deemed my dream very weird, inspite of knowing a lot about dreams from the works of Poe and his followers.


3.4 The Shrink Of Malibu

Drake had suggested that I needed to go to a shrink with my perversely weird dream, but he was probably just kidding, right?

In my dream, I had had a house nighbour names Mr. Klemish whom I knew as a soul plumber in real life,[3:10] and he was especially responsible for anger management of students at Pacific Coast Academy, or so had my aforementioned friend Ashley Blake told me.

Maybe this was one more argument in order to get my mother to send me to Pacific Coast Academy, as our school shrinks here were utterly worthless?

Another alternative would have been one Mr. Lowe[3:11] from Santa Clarita, not too far from Los Angeles. But he was also selling foam fingers at a souvenir shop and riding school buses, not really signs for a great shrink.


3.5 Visitors' Day

Once each year there was a day when Pacific Coast Academy opened its gates for potential future students, a day about which Wendy Gellar had told me always an awful lot. Besides the usual guide across the campus and the halls, we were also offered to interview established students.[3:12] At the same time, the parents and guardians of the canditates were at a similar event, interviewing the teachers and other members of the staff of this most elitarian prep school of California.

It would not be easy for me to get any pardon for my misdeed comitted om Melinda Crenshaw's behalf, so I had to be extremely careful, but it was probably my last chance. Of course I had never been officially expelled from Pacific Coast Academy as I had just been a one day guest when presenting the hell machine, but a deed like that one would certainly have triggered an expulsion, had I been a student.

And the school admin was very strict with its rules, as seen in the case of Ashley's brother vincent who had been the quarterback of the football team until he had been caught redhanded cheating for a test and denounced unto Dean Rivers by aforementioned Chase Bartholomew Matthews. This alone had effected a suspension for two weeks, inclusing the day of the hitherto greatest match in the history of Pacific Coast Academy, a playpoff for the Californian state championship. And this had upset Vince Blake too much, he had been unable to avoid beating up Chase, a deed that had lead to an expulsion.

Ashley was even more upset than Vince about this sentence, and she was still swearing to teach Vince to act like a nice guy in order to get readmitted to the school, giving him the chance to wreak havoc, but in a more subtle way. For that opurpose, Vince would have to convince the aforementioned school shrink, known to me as Klemish, of having turned normal and losty his bully aggressivity.

So, here I was once again on the campus, and I was bound for the "question and answer" section. I was drawn for a group assigned for three juniors ready to get interviewed by us visitors, and those were Zoey Brooks, Chase Bartholomew Matthews, and Stacey Dillsen. I had seen them all here on the campus when visiting the school in order to present Mindy's hell machine, using that fake name of "Paige Howard".

Stacey Dillsen was who shocked me most, for it was a person who had appeared in my nightmare, even though only briefly. In that segment of my dream, there had been a convention of the fans of my show, with me, Fredward, and Samantha answering their questions.[3:13]

The fans of the show had been largely split in two camps: "Creddiers" and "Seddiers". The former group were promoting a relationship between me (Carly) and Fredwward, the latter favoured one between Samantha and Fredward. The "Creddiers" had been one exorbitantly evil and violent bunch,. At the end of the con, they had probably — at least this made sense — murdered Adam, my current boyfriend of that time, because he had stood between me and Fredward. And the ringleader of the "Crediers" had been no other than Stacey Dillsen, a girl from Swampscott in Massachusetts that used to talk with a strong lisp and was obsessed with cotton swab sculptures.

Of course this had been just a dream, and in reality there was no Fredward and no Samantha, and there were no "Creddiers" or "Seddiers", and no Adam to stand between me and Fredward. But why had my inner voice been able to accuse Stacey of such a thing? There must have been a deeper reason for this.

Adelaide Singer had actually made it here, too, and we were sitting side by side when awaiting the start of the interviews.

The first kids asked really lame questions, such as about dressing codes at Pacific Coast Academy and problems between boys and girls.

Strangely, nobody asked Stacey Dillsen any question, as those all went to Chase Bartholomew Matthews and to Zoey Brooks.

Some kid asked about the dormitory advisers, and Zoey answered only about Coco Wexler, the one responsible for the girls, but "responsible" was too great a word to be used in association with the messy and obese wench who reminded me rather of Walter's gross misdemeanours than of someone up to such a job. This would indeed be a problem for convincing my mom. Drake had liked to apply for the job of a girls' dormitory adviser as well, for the obvious reasons though.

Another kid appeared to be interested in physics and chemistry which appeared to be his hobbies, and this question was of course getting closer to being critical for me, given that my first presence here on the campus had involved feigning to have won the national science fair. Josh would have been delighted to hear aboutsuch an tenthusiastic middle school guy, as I and my class mates at belleview middle school were too lame for his taste.[3:14]

Answering the question, Chase Matthews referred mainly to Quinn Pensky, for the obvious reasons, but this made Zoey Brooks gasp because … the blond Mary Sue had spotted me in the audiene, and she grabbed her secret crusher's microphone. "OK, let us welcome one of the greatest scientists, next to Quinn Pensky, in our audience … Paige Howard, winner of last year's national science fair! So you don' have to ask science hater Chase, ask Paige!" She smiled into my direction.

The boy who asked the question stood up and cheered fanatically, as he had already read about Paige iun some fan zine for young scientists. "Paihe, you are my hero!"

My heart was standing still, and if I had not already collapsed a few weeks ago, I would have done right now. So I just felt dizzy and ready to vomit.

Addie Singer jumped in for my rescue and declared that I was not feeling well. "So, how is the medical provision here on the campus, in case someone needs any?"

Zoey sighed. "Sorry, OK, well, we have got an infirmary, of course, but nurse Krafader[3:15] is currently not around." She started sweating like the falls of Niagara, something unusual for the Mary Sue, as opposed to what I was accustomed from my evil step boob Joshuah.[3:16] "But Quinn also knows a lot about medicine, so better bring her to our dormitory room … 101 Brenner Hall … let us go!" Zoey grabbed me and started carrying me across the campus.

At the same time — or so would I be told by the end of the same day — Adelaide started changing the topic in order to distract the sadistical onlookers, and she had got a questuion for Chase. "Hi, I am Addie, and Ilike writing poems and make little songs from them. Is there a club at this schools that may appreciate my efforts?"

Chase gasped, replying, "you do? Really? Well, I sometimes do the same,[3:17] or at least try to, but my attempts are unfabulous because I can't write tunes. So I prefer to write dramas,[3:18] as we have got that drama club.

So Chase and Adelaide appeared to have got a lot to talk about in my absence, neglecting the other visitors completely.


3.6 101 Brenner Hall

Here I was once again in the dormitory room of Zoey Brooks, Lola Martinez,and Quinn Pensky.

The Latin diva wondered why the interviews were already over, given that according to the schedule they had not been, "So we may already go to the pedicure and then to Sushi Rox?" At the same time, she went through her wardrobe in order to fing the optimal outfit and makeup for this evening. "Do you think that the guy in the back row in my geography classes will notice me in this dress? I have heard rumours claiming that he is a ereally good kisser."

Quinn recognised me, well, she recognised whom she believed me to be, and offered to treat me against my sickness on site, without even Zoey asking for it. "OK, Paige, so you really want to come to Pacific Coast Academy instead of going straight to college?" She fuumbled with test tubes contyaining liquidsof varying colour and consistency, expecting me apparently to comment on her experiments, which, of course, was not possible as I was not the one whom she bielieved me to be. Then she started fixing me tio a bed and treatin my feet with something that tickled mercilessly, but it did not have the potential of making me giggle or anything like that.

Well, I was not able to lie any longer, and so I broke into tears and fessed up to my actual identity and the circumstances of my first vist here at Pacific Coast Academy, talking especially about Melinda Crenshaw, her scientific projects, and her plagiarism of the backpacks.

Zoey Brooks was totally consternated, and she turned really naughty.

Lola did not seem to know what we were talking about, well, she was not a great listener, anyways, only someone trying to be in the centre of the public attention. But she understood very well whose little sister I was, and I hated being known as such. "Oh, really, Drake Parker, the great teenage rock idol? I have heard that he is one of the best kissers. I would love to test this on my opwn. When and where may I find him?"

Quinn tried to calm her roomie down, explaining that she had recovered alredy from the humiliation, and that she was busily inventing new things, and that it was now her main motivation to beat Mindy Crenshaw to the nobel prizes in physics, chemistry, biology, and medicine. "I am now working on a new means for eye lasering, seven times more relaiable than the commonly used one.[3:19] With this, I will certainly be on the best way to Nobel's in medicine."

I remembered that Samantha's excessively disgusting mom, in my dream, had gone through eye surgery, nit that this mattered here … but it was so strange.

Although I expressed feeling ashamed for having furthered Mindy's interests, Zoey was still annoyed by my past and did not want me to come to Pacific Coast Academy.

Dustin brooks stumbled in after having finally found me here. He had already been looking all over the campus and — in the end— been informed by Adelaide. He did not hesitate defending me against stubborn Zoey. "If you can't accept Megan, I will go and look for another big sister! I have already hired a lawyer, Claire Sawyer, in order to take care of the legal stuff necessary for the adoption." He was applauded by Wendy who had been following him and was happy to finally run into me.

Now even Lola chimed in and admoinished the blond Mary Sue: "Zoey! How dare you to not want the little sister of Drake Parker, the very great Drake, at our school? I thought you have been a fan of Drake for three years already. Who do you think will be better able to provide us with backstage tickets than one of his closest relatives?"

Zoey had to understand that everyone was against her, and she was probably still a great Drake fangirl, more or less convinced by Lola's more or less briklliant argument.


3.7 Enrolling

So I was finally accepted by the students at Pacific Coast Academy, although it was neitehr pleased by Dustin's wish of looking for a new elder sister, which was apaprently quite xsimilar to my wish for a new elder brother that had made me flee into that nightmare, nor by the fact of being just accepted as Drake's little sister.

Also the problem with the dorm advisers got solved. Drake was of course not acceptableas a replacement for Coco, so he had suggested our mom, Audrey, for this job, and Dean Rivers had actually considered it, and mom had accepted the whole thing, although we would now have to move here to Malibu. Coco was now just some sort of an auxiliary dormitory adviserm, whatever that what was exctly supposed to mean.

Rivers had forgiven my evil deed of the last year, because I had already expressed mty regrets, or, as I should have said with the words of Nevel Papperman from my dream, I had rued the day, until the times of dystopia. He was even more impressed by my oboe skills than he had been by Paige's technological and scientific knowledge, as he thought that a good orchestra would be a great label for Pacific Coast Academy, and he was looking for building a really strong philharmonic club based on that.

I sighed, because "Nevel Amadeus Papperman", bith the real one and the villain of my dream, woulkd have fit perfectly into such a club, but I first had tio find him in order to make this come true. And I was still looking for Missy Robinson, wondering what had become of her.

So, I had wished to go to a baoarding school for several years already, basically in order to escape from my insane family, but all I had achieved was being even more tied to it, with mom as my dormitory adviser and Drake being the reason for many students here to accept me. This was the exact contrary of the subterfuge that I had always been looking for.

Adelaide Singer was accepted as well into Pacific Coast Academy, so I was at least looking forward to seeing her on a daily base, and of course there was Dustin Brooks, one of the sweetest and smartest boys on the campus.


Chapter 4 One Year At PCA


4.1 My Dormitory Room

My mom was working on the campus, too, but I was not forceed to live with her and instead allowed to get a dormitory room like all the other girls.

And this room was precisely 101 Butler Hall, formerly the dormitory room of Zoey Brooks when she had been in eighth grade.

My room pals were, as I had wished, Wendy Gellar and Ashley Blake, and both of them had been my friends for some years already.

Adelaide Singer Was older than us by three year, so she was in a differnt dormitory hall, but I would come and help her with her stuff later on.

For the moment, I was totally busy with my own belongings, and mom had told me to be careful when chosing what to take with me to my dormitory room, because space was very limited at a boarding school, it was definitely not like our big house in San Diego.

Unfortunately, sharing a room with Wendy and Ashley, night after night, would not exactly turn out as the fun that I had it always supposed to be when I had been a few years younger.


4.2 Mr. Combover

As aforementioned, the dean was about to build a school orchestra around me , and the adviser of this club, and most likely conductor of our performances, was a certain Mr. Combover from Santa Clarita,[4:1] hitherto an underpaid teacher for musics at James K. Polk Middle School. He looiked like some of those oldfashioned musicians, such as Mozart, Beethoven, or similar.

Combover had dragged a long a choir singer from from his former middle school who was no already a high school junior, and he had not even got a given name, at least none known unto us, but was generally referred to as "Coconut Head" because of his idiotic haircut which made even Josh in his worst day look cool.

Combover was not only responsible for the choir and the orchestra, but he had also come in order to substitute Mr. Fletcher, hitherto adviser of our drama club, who had just returned to the Broadway in New York City. For that avail, Adelaide would have had to work with him as well if she wanted to get her lyrics involved in a school project, which would necessarily have been a lot of fun.

Ashley had been a very influential member of the drama club since she had made it to Pacific Coast Academy like two years ago, along with her brother Vince. On the one hand, this would have been an advantage for Addie, but Ashley had noy forgiven Chase Bartholomew Matthews his "treason", as she called it when he had denounced Vince to Dean Rivers and got him first suspended and then expelled. I was still trying hard to talk any sense into the diva, but she was apparently deaf on that ear. During the last year, Ashley Blake had subtly undermined Chase's efforts and deliberately misinterpreted her rôle in some play he had written for the drama club.

This was about as bad as the way Samantha Puckett had often treated Fredward Benson in my long nightmare, and I — or rather Carly — had always been forced to intervene. But how would that be in this case?

Ashley had gained a lot on confidence in her plot aimed towards bringing V9incent back to Pacific Coast Academy from the fact that I had been easiily forgiven by Dean Rivers inspite of my activity that had almot made the whole boarding school blow up into radioactive smithereens.

The problem for Adelaide was that she was now getting along very well with Chase and thus also moving more and more into the fire line of Ashley.


4.3 To Good Old England

A few days later, my sweetie Dustin had been called out of his classes in the middle of the running period.

I wondered whether he had committed one more bad deed, such as grabbing a candy bar from a vendor machine that had swallowed some innocent pupil's money without returning anything. The school admin had still not done anything about the problem, so this would have made Dustin a hero in my book, such as good old Robin Hood from the ages of valiant knights and virtuous maids, but also corrupt princes, England of Richard The Lionheart.

Maybe I had thought too much about ood old England, because the reason for Dustin being called away had actually got to do with the royal island.

Dustin's father had been offered a job in the same companuy's freshly founded European branch, with headquarters in London. He would have to stay there for several years.

The question for Dustin and Zoey was now that of whether to follow their parents to England or whether to stay here at Pacific Coast Academy.

For Dustin it was no question, he stayed here, maybe because of me, but essentially because he hated English weather and English kitchen — which sane Californian didn't?

But Zoey saw both advantages and disadvantages of going to Covington's, the noble boarding school near London that her dad, a twin brother of Glazer, had checked out for his kids. Her clique seemed to be reluctant to , let her go, but did not really see to try to keep her back. Chase was the lst one for her to ask, and if Chase had finally had the guts to admit to what he had been feeling for Zoey during the last four years, he would tell her sto stay here with him until the times of dystopia.

But what would really happen?


4.4 Jealousy Drama

Dustin told me a lot about the long story of Chase's huge little crush on Zoey Brooks during the last four years. "I would have understood it if Chase had refrained from other girlfriends. But as it is … There was Trisha, then there was Lola, and then Rebecca."[4:2]

I asked, you mean Rebecca, the sister of Lola? That one busty Latina who works as a teenage model?" I had seen this information about Lola's family on the interweb data repository about Hollywood actors and actresses, and both of them had appeared in my nightmare, using the maid name of their mother and their respective middle names, Victoria and Trinidad. I had oalso got a cameo impression of Rebecca in my dream where she was a girl from Olympia in Seattle.

Dustin looked aghast and replied, "they are sisters? Rebecca and Lola, that is …wait … both of them are hot Latinas, so I do believe it does make sense … but …" He gasped because it was hard to believe for him for another reason. "Lola did not seem to know her when …"

I reminded Dustin of the fact that Gloria Victoria Vega y Martinez was an actress, and a dern good one at that, or at leasted she wanted to be, and that Rebecca, well, at least she was mentioned in the repository, and that was certainly supposed to mean something.

Dustin concluded appropriately, "so … Lola, and Rebecca, had been feigning perfect comedies, or horror dramas?"

I nodded solemnly, explaining that no hot Latina would date a busht dweeb like Chase Bartholomew Matthews if there was not some second thought involved, a hidden motivation.

It did not take us much to come to a preliminary conclusion: Chase Bartholomew Matthews had already used several girls in order to make Zoey jealous.

Well, Fawn was just a complete no brainer tomboy, but maybe not as naïve as she seemed … maybe …

Now we were all just expecting that Chase fessed up to Zoey in order to force her to stay here. He was just caught in a tennis match against Jeff Norgin,[4:3] a very interesting person because he had once hit on Zoey Brooks before she had nmoved to Pacific Coast Academy, and he had also been Fawn's boyfriend until she pushed him off her tree, a strange parallel to Chase Bartholomew Matthews …

I asked Dustion whether he would miss his sister, given that, a few months ago, he had been feigning great fears after watching some fhorror movies in order to be allowed to stay in Zoey's dormitory room for several nights.[4:4]

Dustin nodded sadly, and the same was true for mom and dad who had hitherto been just a cheap phone call or a trip of three hours in car away. But his fear of the weather, food, and customs of the Brits was worse than anything else. But really he had hoped that Chase would be able to flip Zoey's mind around and make her stay here in Los Angeles and be there for him.

Finally, Zoey had encountered Chase, and reported that he had been so weird and abrasive, their was no other choice left for her than going to London. "He doesn't care about me at ll, so why would I have to, so why would I have to stay here just for him?"

Dustin had tried to stay silent, but now he was unable to withstand the violent urge to tell Zoey about our observations, expressing that Chase had so desterately and madly in love with her that he had talked several girls to play his girlfriend and make you jealous." He hoped that this appeal was going to do the trick.

Zoey did in deed react, but not as Dustin had hoped her to: She was really upset by the possibility of Chase having made out with girls he did not love just in order to provoke her jealousy, and even paying the girls in some way, as he was definitely too unattractive for getting them to tolerate his flirting attempts voluntarily and without a second thought.

She would ask Chase and squeeze thruth out of him, confirming and refining our assumptions, and this was the final feather to break the mastodon's back, sending her straight across the ocean.

The relationship between Chase and Fawn had been the result of the bushy dweeb's unfortunate phraseology, but it made him see that Zoey was vulnerable to jealousy. Lola Martinez, on the other hand, had been prsctising kissing uncomely boys, and so it would have been a win-win if they had actually been able to pull off the perfect farce, but both of them had remorses because Lola and Zoey had been good friends. So Lola had concluded that getting a girlubeknownst to Zoey to get to flirt with Chase in front of her eyes would have been perfect, and this was especially valid for her sister Rebecca Trinidad Vega y Martinez, a particularly hot teenage model. Unfortunately, they had gone a bit far and let Rebecca act really mean towards Zoey in order to feign that she relaly meant business. "Don't even dare to get too close to Chase for he is now mine!" Lola and even Quinn had supported the multi stage farce of Chase and Rebecca in a really credible manner.

As a consequence, Zoey was now totally mad at Lola and Quinn, and she wanted to never hear of those backstabbin g creeps again. Even worse, she would go and persuade her parents to withdraw Dustin from Pacific Coast Academy because of the excruciatingly bad influence his former room mates had on him.

Now it was a race for us against the time, for we would have to convince Mr. and Mrs. Brooks to leave Dustin at Pacific Coast Academy. They would not be able to take him off before the end of the term, or even the academic year, but until then …

Note that I would have waited for Dustin until dystopia even if he would have moved across the sevn seas, but there were still so many other things for him at stake.

For Chase Bartholomew Matthews, a world was now about breaking down, four years of hopes had ended in one big catastrophe.

Zoey was fleeing from England, just as I had fled into comatosity, but what was she really fleeing from?


4.5 Semester Break

The first weeks without his sister were really hard for Dustin, and I tried to be as much of a help as possible, but it was most plausibly because of my yopung age, just half a year older than Dustin, that I had to fail here, he needed elder kids as reference points.

Unfortunately, he was not unlikely to choose the wrong ones, such as Logan Reese, the coxcomb of the county, even though this had long since stopped being Dustin's example to live up to. Three years ago, the dandy had tried to teach Dustin womanising, tshowing him that girls needed to be treated — in his own not so humble opinion — like dirt.[4:5] My former poor excuse of a boyfriend, videlicet Corey, had followed the same philosophy. Dustin has understood how wrong Logan was, and this, combined with his unearthly cleverness, made him so infinitely sweet and my ideal boyfriend. Unfortunately, Dustin needed to earn money by working for Logan Reese, as he wanted to buy an "easy to use" web cam for his mom and for Zoey in order to chat more. The yime shift of eifght ours was nevertheless an obstacle no amount of money would have eliminated. I needed to work for Ashley Blake, in turn, because I needed money for Japanese candy from Kazu, the owner of Sushi Rox, and other expenses, so I understood Duston's problems. As Logan treated Dustin poorly, I was occasionally urged to come to his rescue by pulling terrible pranks on the excessively disgusting creep.

The semester break had now come, and we would spend it in San Diego, as Dustin's uncle had invited him once more, while we had still got our house.

Mom had thought about renting the residence to some other family, but for thatm, she would have needed the consent of her former husband, the dad in blood of Drake and me, but he was about travelling the seven seas in his little submarine. Drake had even written a song about it: Up Periscope![4:6]

The seniors around Chase, Michael, Logan, Lola, and Quinn would go on a camping trip with Coco to Yoshemite Park. Well, that was what they had been up to, but Coco had got other problems with her on and off boyfriend Carl Bubba[4:7] and his mother, preventing her from going, so Josh, as a passionate camper and pathfinder,[4:8] took over, upon mom's proposal, making me pity Logan Reese for the very first time. Josh was teaching the teenagers how to protect your supplies from the wild animals, especially bears.

Mom's real reason for going to San Diego over the spring break was her lover Gavin Mitchell, though.


4.6 Abandoned By The Parents

Returning to the campus, I saw a wretched Stacey Dillsen sobbing in some corner because her parents had not appeared at Pacific Coast Academy at the beginning of the vacation in order to take her on a skiing tour to Colorado, they had not shown up without any excuse, and this made it clear that she was basically abandoned by them, given to a boarding school in order to avoid as much contact with her daughter as only possible, maybe because she was speaking with a lisp and thus an embarrassment for the family. She was certainly not the monster that, in my dream, had killed my, or Carly's boyfriend, Adam, but a victim of the circumstances.

Josh was now back with his friends from the camping trip, and I had got an idea. He had got a lot of things in common with Stacey Dillsen and would understand her better than anything else. His mother had abandoned him in a similar way and left behind with a dad, videlicet Walter, who was just to naïve to defend himself against effectively his ex-wife. Josh was reluctant at the first glance as he had always tried to be the cool one, but then he came to see that Stacey was much more of a soulmate for him than any of the preppy girls he had known due to hanging out with Drake.


4.7 New Term — New Students

So, this was the start into my second semester at Pacific Coast Academy, and there were a few new kids to welcome, more or less, at least.

A very strange one was a tall blond rake named James Garrett, nephiew of Hollywood star Jeff Garrett.[4:9] He was a total girl eater, and he would even have impressed me, had I not already found a decent boy in Dustin, and had I not been warned in mty dream, because James was no other than Jake Crendell,[4:10] my first crush in the dream. But I had already seen him once in real life while waiting at a rollercoaster known as "The Demonator". Dustin knew him, too, for the reckless rake had once seduced Stacey Dillsen. Fortunately, Josh was caring extremely well for her by now.

And my eyes bugged out when I noticed Nevel Amadeus Papperman, which would turn out as his real name. My dream had remembered it better than I. Nevel had followed an invitation by Mr. Combover who needed a piano backup for my solo oboe.

I was totally flabbergasted, as I had been trying to look for him, and now I had found him without having done anything for it, at least not deliberately.

Another newbie was Brooke Margoline[4:11], a girl who would soon take over Quin n Pensky's long-term boyfriend Mark del Figgalo, the epitome of the word "dweeb", even more than Josh.

Another girl was new, but not really. Dana Cruz, a former room pal of Zoey Brooks, had used the occasion to make it back to this school, She had been at a nearby French-speaking boarding school run by one Monique Chaumont from Paris.[4:12] She had left Pacific Coast Academy because she had been unable to stand the |Mary-Sue-ishness" of Zoey Brooks, and the departure of Dustin's sister had made her return. Dana was your typical mixture of a model figure and a passsionate athlete, without much of a brain.

The same was valid for Nicole Bristow, another former room pal for Zoey Brooks. She was your typical bimbo wench, comparable to aforementioned Caitlín Valentine from nearby Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, and she had been fleeing from Pacific Coast Academy because of Zoey Brooks, too, because she had no longer been able top bear her extreme perfections and had started feeling inferior. Typically, Nicole was obsessed with cute boys, and the official reason for having had to leave Pacific Coast Academy was that she had been distracted by them so much that their parents and their shrink had preferred to send her to an all-girls school, but that was only one part of the truth. Nicole had found an exile from Pacific Coast Academy at nearby Eastridge, also known as Northridge for some obscure reasons.[4:13] But she was treated against her obsession with the male gender stuff by aforementioned shrink whom I knew as Marty Klemish from my movie, and with whom I had already started talking about my nightmare, alas, not without much of a success.

And Nicole was not here alone, she had been accompanied by some sort of a friend, a girl that made me startle: Missy Robinson. My pre-school friend had been the room-mate of Nicole Bristow at Eastridge, and now she had followed her to Pacific Coast Academy they were a typical combination of the intrigant vixen and a naïve bimbo, similar to Jade West and Caitlín Valentine at Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts.

So, with Nevel and Missy I was now about to face two kids that I had done great injustice in my dream as Carly Shay.


4.8 Quinn goes astray.

As aforementioned, Mark del Figgalo had trashed Quinn in favour of hot half-Latina Brooke, and thus sent hewr into some sort of depression because she thought to be not hot enough, but this was not the reason for the breakup. Brook was a gigfted knitter, just like Mark, and this had done the trick.

Now Quinn went really crazy and even threw herself into the arms of Logan Reese, but they tried to keep it secret.

As Paige Howard I had hurt Quinn's feelings a lot, but she had still had the confidence in her skills. But with a coxcomb like Logan Reese, she would inevitable sink into a quagmire of mediocricity and decadence, so itr was my moral duty to help her back on her feet, which would be easiest with a decent boyfriend of her league, a nerdy wallflower type guy whose intellygence could, as much as even possible for a boy, hold a candle with hers.

Drake and Josh had got two — falsely so-called — friends named Craig and Eric. In my dream, they had been "Creddiers" attending the aforementioned webicon in Olympia and misbehave badly, forcing me, or Carly, to call the security team to get them expelled. That was rude, I know, but there was so much I had committed in that nightmare that I was disgusted by, and this was just one of them. Eric loved botanics and cosmology, two members of Quinn's broad spectrum of scientific interests, and so I decided to give it a shot and make some moves in order to pry Quinn loose from a guy who was so obviously going to be her demise on the long term, with no possible escape left.

So I tricked Eric to come to Pacific Coast Academy in order to let him negotiate with Dean Rivers about a possible employement as an adviser for a new club for astronomy and one for the school garden.

At the same time, Michael Barret was hunted by a horse that had escaped from its ranch, a horse I remembered as Winchester and belonging to Faye Dunnawaye[4:14] who also hosted my zebra.[4:15]

I tricked Quinn into following Faye and Michael to the ranch, and there she met Eric. Quinn had got a llama named Otis which she had been forced to leave behind in Seattle as it was too big to be hidden on the campus,[4:16] but this ranch was ideal for one. And I had sent Eric to the ranch as well, tricking them into starting to talk about the possibility of raising new races of animals. They could not stay off this — in the eye of two passionate researchers of the secrets of nature — fascinating topic, and Quinn was cured from her pernicious disease of hankering after obnoxious coxcomb Logan Reese.

The dandy would have to settle with a more suited girl for him, such as aforementioned Dana Cruz who had been his destrined girlfriend, although neither of them would never have admitted to it, until Dana's subterfuge fromPacific Coast Academy because of being fed up to the skull cap with Zoey's perfection.

Chase had come with us as well, and he spotted my zebra, Zeebooh. He admitted to always having wished for such an animal, even with this name,[4:17] and so I decided to just leave it to him, leave it all to him, sort of an engagemnent gift for him and Addie — an open secret.


4.9 The Return Of Vincent Blake

Ashley had worked hard on teaching Vince enough acting to fool the responsible shrink, which was the same as Nicole's and my therapist, and she had been as succesful as can be, and now the big bully was back in order to get back at Chase Bartholomew Matthews and his friends who had — for evident reasons — protested against his return in the office of Dean Rivers, but in vain. This revenge — so announced Ashley — would be so subtle that there was no rule at Pacific Coast Academy against it, and thus one gazillion times more efficient.

I had never been sure what she had meant, although she had talked about it for several months already. But now it was evident that Ashley was going to insulate Chase from his remaining friends by making Vince date one of the girls: Lola Martinez!

Ashley would have preferred Vince to sneak Zoey from Chase, but this was now nolonger an issue because of the blond Mary Sue's departure to London. On the other hand, the arrangement with Lola would also help her to keep her greatest rival for Hollywood's casts in her vicinity.

I was dismayed by this, but I was not able to tell Ashley directly and needed to find arguments why it was a bad thing to do what she did.

So the only way to avoud this was to serve Lola a boyfriend much better suited for her, on a silver platter with diamond ornations, a guy whom she had apparently appreciated long since as a great kisser, my dear brother Drake.

This would inevitably burden my friendship with Ashley, but sometimnes a girl had to do what a girl had to do.

I tricked Drake to come to Pacific Coast Academy in order to negotiate about a possible performance of his band at the impending prom.


4.10 Wendy likes Michael.

Michael Barret was a bit of a little maniac on occasions. He had got a girlfriend named Lisa Perkins, one of the greatest pop talents of her generation, able to hold a candle to David R. Couleda. But she was most certainly out of his league, and she was definitely not a good influence for him.

Two years ago, Michael had started hankering after her and tried to impress her at an Open Mike Night with one of his self composed songs, but he had failed miserably and puked on Lisa's shoes when seeing her in the front row. But a few days later, he had saved her from being run over by some race cart, and thus become his girlfriend.[4:18]

I understood thi very poor reason for being together with a guy, as I had learned from my dream where I had once been almost run over by a truck and saved by Fredward Benson who had thence been badly injured. I had become his girlfriend for nothing more than stubborn gratefulness. Fortunately, Samantha had talked us apart because she had once had a boyfriend who had bribed her with ham (she had been totally obsessed with all sorts of meats, especially ham), until Sam had realised that this reason for being boyfriend and girlfriend does most definitely not cut it.[4:19] I needed to tell Michael before it was too late.

Ever since, Lisa Perkins had been a poor excuse of a girlfriend for him, unable to accept him with all his manias and phobias, such as his fear of bears[4:20] and rollercoasters. Even worse, she made permanently fun of his phobias and tried to force him to give up on them, although those were definitely part and parcel of what made up Michael Barret, taking it away fro him would have degenerated hin to worthless goo over time.

The top of the iceberg was reached when Michael had failed in driving an old-fashioned stick switched car, a gift from his dad, something with which he tried to impress Lisa. A few ddays later, he was able to do so, but he claimed to have learned it from some Mr. Takato, an elderly Japanese guy who was unveknownst in Los Angeles, not even familiar to Kazu.

On the other hand, Wendy Gellar had recognised a lot of parallels of her former obsession with Drake and Michael's craziness for Lisa Perkins that was threatening the very core of his own personality. Wendy would never have made fun of Michael's phobias or manias, unlike Lisa.

In addition, they shared the hobbies of composing tunes of a variety of musical styles.

For me it was so obvious that Wendy, and not Lisa, was the ideal girlfriend for Michael.

Wendy was scheduled as an auxiliary task force for the service team in charge with the prom, and so were I and Dustin. This would allow me to manipulate quite a bit in favour of this perfect couple.


Chapter 5 Epilogue

The prom night had worked miracles, altgough the outfit of the participants was totally rushed. Usually, Zoey Brooks would have been responsible for those, but she was gone. But Stacey Dillsen and Josh Nichols had jumped in and produced wonderful gowns and tuxedo suits from cotton swabs and wool.

When Wendy served Michael some hand-made tapenade, she whispered to him that she believed his story about Mr. Takato, regardless of what all the ignorants claimed. This was enough to pry Michael Barret finally loose from Lisa. Wendsy and Michael would start their own record label just a few years later. And, honestly, did it matter whether Takato existed or not? He may have been just a dream withing Michael's dream, but he had finally made Michael flee the nothingness that was his life, a life wasted on Lisa Perkins. Now Michael swept Wendy across the dancing floor, and this way, they would be able to turn their lives into another direction, away from the miserable wretches and the fools that they had become by hankering gracily after Drake and Lisa, respectively.[5:1]

Drake's performance at the prom made Lola flip like a coin and jump into my brother's arms after testing that he was really an evil better kisser than Vince. She told us about some abominable nightmare she had had, a dream in which she had been a student at Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Art instead of Pacific Coast Academy, along with her sister Rebecca and all the Hollywood Art kids she had already come to know from shootings for clips and dramas, such as Robert Shapiro, Jade West, Beck Oliver, André Harris, Caitlín Valentine, and her former acting teacher named Sikowitz. She had learned from this dream that just going to a school for Hollywood star, as she had been up to like four years ago, would have been much worsse than Pacific Coast Academy, inspite of all the trouble she had gone through on this campus.

Ashley would have been terribly upset, had she not discovered that Chase did not care about his old friends any longer as he had now goy Adelaide, for always and ever. He would soon make up with Michael, though, as arranged by Wendy and Addie. In addition, Vince had switched quickly to Lola's sturdy sister Rebecca Martinez who was much more in his league due to her martial athletic skills, unlike brittle Lola. And, in all honesty, Ashley would have rather wished for Rebecca than for Lola as a sister in law.

Logan and Dana were dancing like nobody's business which involved stomping on each other's feet on purpose, just as they ahd done during their middle school dance,[5:2] but that was just their unique expression of extreme affection. Dana had long since seen that fleeing from blond Mary Sue Zoey had caused her to also to leave behind too many things she had come to miss badly, especially Logan Reese and his abrasive snobbishness which had been her ultimate kryptonite, but also her true addiction she was not able to get rid off.

Chase and Addie were lingering dreamily on the dancing floor, quoting their favourit poetry unto each other, especially the collected works of Edgar Allan Poe. All they saw and seemed was apparently nothing more than a dream inside whatever they had dreamed.

Nicole Bristow had found again her former middle school dance partner Nicholas Webber. Back then, they had been scared by each other's bimbo character, but now they had learned that this had been a serious mistake, and they were now together again and would never have to part. This allowed them to flee from a world of rationality and thinking before talking which was definitely not theirs, had never been, and would never be.

Quinn and Eric had started talking about crossing different kinds of plants and animals in order to create new species and accelerate the natural evolution which was already taking much too long. In particular they wanted to pair Quinn's snake[5:3] with Eric's lizard[5:4] in order to create the new super reptile that would have dominated planet earth if there had not been some meteorite that had extinguished the dinosaurs gazillions of years ago, a dream they had pursued since childhood, fleeing the irreliability of natural evolution based on blind Darwinian chaos and corruption. and reshaping the kingdom of plants and animals according to their perfect plans in their mind.

Ashley started dancing with Jake Crendell alias James Garrett, although it was obvious that shewas just interested in his uncle Jeff who was the predestined star in a movie in which she wanted to be in, so this would not last for long, and she would switch to aforementioned Beck Oliver, her partner in a movie based on a play written by Chase Bartholomew Matthews, Alien Girl Zorka.[5:5]

My mom was finally about to divorce from Walter who had always been an embarrassing burden for her, no matter what, as she had caught him cheating on her with Coco Wexler — the two of them had been sniffing dirty lingerie in the laundry room. But mom had been cheating on him for over two years with Gavin Mitchell, so did this really matter? Gavin would become the new boys' sormitory adviser, as he had been dismissed by Helen Baxter who had sold Première Theatre in order to go on a honeymoon trip with Logan's dad Malcolm Reese. The two of them had already been together in an old movie where Helen had starred back in the eighties.

For over a year, I had not heard much from Mindy Crenshaw, but now she was back, here on the campus, although she had been banned from it after plagiarising Zoey's backpack and was not readmitted afterit had become obvious that she had abused me in order to wreak havoc at Pacific Coast Academy. But she had made it past security guards with ease, as Dean Rivers needed most of them in order to guard his oiffice while he was cheating on his wife with Linda Hayfer, aforementioned evil teacher from my former school.

I already imagined that this would be the end, but then Wayne Gilbert alias "Fire Wire", a resident nerd on the campus, showed up and recognised the mad scientist and publlic enemy number one at Pacific Coast Academy. By the way, back in San Diego, I had ordered many technological devices from the interweb needed for pranking the boobs, and also the aforementioned microchip. For long time, he had not been able to believe that girls were any good for science, so he mistook Mindy for a robot or an alien mutant like those people in his beloved fantasy cartoons of the Marvel or DC series, such as a certain Wondergirl. His favourite cartoon hero was a cartain Doctor who wanted to rule over the world with a cyber army or something like that. "Maybe we should gang up and subdue the world together?"

Mindy grinned, replying "hey, there's an idea, we should discuss it in some silent corner, not among this vulgar mobs." She grabbed him, and they disappeared into some unbeknownst angle of our campus, up to something unbeknownst to all of us left behind in the swamp of cluelessness.

Finally, Missy had invited Nevel as her prom partner, and she was sweeping him mercilessly across the dancing floor. I had tried to apologise to both of them for having neglected them during the last years, but they had almost ignored me and just started dating, the age difference notwithstanding. This had made my task a lot easier, oh well.

So, what was left for me? I walked up to Dustin and smiled. He was still a bit sad since Zoey's departure, but he would be allowed to stay at Pacific Coast Academy, anyways. The two of us ignored all the high school kids, which we would be during the years to come, and we started to dream a dream of our own, together alone, a dream of acquiring blue wings and starting to fly all the way up to the clouds, fleeing the insane masses down here and reaching the end of the rainbow as birds of a feather. Our love has provided us with spiritual wings.[5:6]

So, you wondere what had become of Fawn Leibowitz and of Toplin Wheeler, my false friends Fredward and Samantha from my nightmare. Well, Fawn and Crazy Steve had finally eloped to Mexico, I had always sensed something disgusting going on behind my back between Sam and Spencer during my nightmare, so this had come true, but it was no longer anything to bother me. Toplin Wheeler had turned out to have been abducted as a baby, and he was really the heir of some European kingdom.[5:7]

Dustin and I had finally overcome the world of nothingness whose vanity I had learned about in my nightmare of a degenerate life in Seattle, and we had found a new life full of fullness.

THE END


1:1:


The photon cannon is featured in Drake & Josh: Mindy Loves Josh.

1:2:


Jessica from Colorado is mentioned in Drake & Josh: Drake and Josh go Hollywood.

1:3:


In The iCarly Show: iReunite With Missy, Seal Beach is mentioned as Carly Shay's former residence.

1:4:


This identifies Mindy Crenshaw with the same actress's guest rôle in Zoey 101: Backpack.

1:5:


This happens in Drake & Josh: Honor Council.

1:6:


This happened in Drake & Josh: The Guitar.

1:7:


This identifies Drake Parker with the actor's self insert in Zoey 101: Spring Fling.

2:1:


Robbie Caemichael is a cameo character from Drake & Josh: The Tree House.

He is here identified with the same actor's rõle "Scooter" in Zoey 101: Favor Chain.

2:2:


Janie is mentioned a few times in season four of Drake & Josh.

2:3:


The family name is borrowed from the same actor's rôle in Best Player.

2:4:


Glazer is a cameo in Drake & Josh: Little Diva et alibi.

2:5:


This is Nathan Kress's anonymous cameo from Drake & Josh: The Battle Of Pantathar.

The credits give him the first name "Toplin".

The surname is suggested by Megan's statement that the younger brother of character Thornton Wheeler had invited her to his brother's birthday party there Toplin appeared as the youngest boy.

2:6:


Corey is a guest character from Drake & Josh: Megan's first kiss.

2:7:


This refers to The iCarly Show: iSaved Your Life.

2:8:


This happens in The iCarly Show: iLike Jake.

2:9:


This is mentioned in The iCarly Show: iWas A Pageant Girl.

2:10:


This refers to The iCarly Show: iKiss.

2:11:


This site is featured in Drake & Josh: Honor Council.

2:12:


This occurs in Zoey 101: Broadcast Views.

2:13:


This refers to The iCarly Show: iCarly Saves TV.

2:14:


This occurs in The iCarly Show: iParty With Victorious.

2:15:


Harper is from The iCarly Show: iCarly Saves TV.

2:16:


This happens in Zoey 101: Chase's Grandma.

2:17:


This refers to The iCarly Show: iFight Shelby Marx.

2:18:


This occurs in iParty With Victorious.

2:19:


According to Zoey 101: Wrestling, Lola's father is an athlete.

2:20:


Ashley Blake is a guest character fron Drake & Josh: Little Diva.

2:21:


This happens in The iCarly Show: iWant To Stay With Spencer.

2:22:


Monica is from Drake & Josh: Megan's First Kiss, but the surname is borrowed from a flashback cameo of the same actress in some third-party owned movie.

2:23:


Missy Robinson is a guest character in The iCarly Show: iReunite With Missy.

3:1:


Jessica Warner is a multiple cameo from 'ic: iFix A Pop Star et alibi.

3:2:


This crush is featured in Drake & Josh: The Storm.

3:3:


Such an event is mentioned in Zoey 101: Zoey's Ribs.

3:4:


This band is mentioned multiple times in The iCarly Show.

3:5:


DavidR. Couleda is a guest character from Drake & Josh: iRocked The Votes.

3:6:


Tom Higginson is a guest character from Drake & Josh: iRue The Day.

3:7:


One Direction are a group of guest characters from Drake & Josh: iGo One Direction.

3:8:


This identifies Addie Singer from Unfabulous with the anonymous cameo of the same actress in Drake & Josh: Honor Council .

3:9:


Addie expresses her admiration for Poe's works in Unfabulous: The Toot.

3:10:


This identified Klemish from The iCarly Show: iBeat The Heat with an anonymous rôle of the same actor in Zoey 101: Anger Management.

3:11:


Lowe appears a few times in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

He is here identified with the same actor's cameo in Drake & Josh: Foam Finger.

3:12:


This event is featured in Zoey 101: PCA Confidential

3:13:


This refers to The iCarly Show: iStartA Fanwar.

3:14:


This is derived from Drake & Josh: Megan's New Teacher.

3:15:


Nurse Krafader is a cameo in Zoey 101: Dance Contest.

3:16:


Josh's sweating problems are featured in Drake & Josh: Blues Brothers.

3:17:


CF. Zoey 101: Time Capsule where Chase writes lyrics for a song with Michael!

3:18:


This is evident from Zoey 101: The Play.

3:19:


Quinn practises eye lasering in Zoey 101: Trading Places.

4:1:


Combover has got multiple cameos throughout Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

4:2:


Rebedcca is a guest character on Zoey 101: Chase's Girlfriend, identified with Trina Vega from Victorious and with the anonymous cameo of the same actress in The iCarly Show: iPsycho.

4:3:


Jeff Norgin is mentioned in Zoey 101: Good-Bye, Zoey!, Zoey 101: Vince is back, and The iCarly Show: iHate Sam's Boyfriend.

4:4:


This occurs in Zoey 101: Drippin' Episode.

4:5:


These lessons occur in Zoey 101: Lola likes Chase.

4:6:


This is a third-party owned song by Drake Bell.

4:7:


This identified cameo Carl from Zoey 101: Hot Dean with multiple cameo Body Slam Bubba from the last season of Unfabulous.

4:8:


This is suggested by Drake & Josh: Number One Fan.

4:9:


Jeff Garrett is a guest character from Zoey 101: Jet-X.

But Schneider had probably not intented any connection between the two of them.

4:10:


Jake Crendell is a guuest character in The iCarly Show: iLike Jake.

He is also identified with several cameos of te same actor in various Nickelodeon shows.

4:11:


Brooke Margoline is a came from Zoey 101: Quinn misses the Mark.

4:12:


Monique Chaumont is a guest character from Zoey 101: Haunted House.

4:13:


Eastridge is from Bigtime Rush: Big Time Break, while Northridge is mentioned several times in Victorious.

4:14:


Faye Dunnaway is a cameo from Zoey 101: Quinn misses the Mark.

4:15:


Megan's zebra is seen in Drake & Josh: Sheep Thrills.

4:16:


Otis is from Zoey 101: Quinn's Alpaca.

4:17:


Chase states this in Zoey 101: The Great Vince Blake.

4:18:


This occurs in Zoey 101: Michael loves Lisa.

4:19:


This is seen in The iCarly Show: iSaved Your Life.

4:20:


This fear is reveiled in Zoey 101: Alone At PCA.

5:1:


This passage is inspired by third party owned song Dancing Floor by Runrig.

5:2:


This happenes in Zoey 101: School Dance.

5:3:


This snake appears in Zoey 101: Girls will be boys.

5:4:


The lizard is mentioned in Drake & Josh: Eric punches Drake.

5:5:


This drama is featured in Zoey 101: The Play.

5:6:


This passage is inspired by Dean Martin's third opart owned song Volare, Cantare.

5:7:


This is inspired by the same actor's guest rôle as Prince Gabriel in True Jackson VP: True Royalty.