Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam.

This is what popped into my head after seeing the ridiculous human called Full Frontal. U.C. 96, with allusions to other U.C. series. Enjoy!

Full Frontal sat at his pretty desk, calming appraising the report he'd just received on the Federation's Mobile Suit capabilities. He ran a hand through his luscious hair, smirking as it bounced back into place.

He tapped at his mask, content with his life of fighting. Neo-Zeon was worth it. He was about to set the report down when he felt a gloved hand rip his mask off his face. Startled, he turned around, reaching for his gun.

He had the gun pulled out and was halfway to pulling the trigger when he saw who it was that was twirling his mask over his finger, whistling, a pair a black sunglasses on his tanned face.

"Hello," said the man pleasantly. "I don't believe we've met before. You call yourself Full Frontal?"

Full Frontal felt the life drain out of him. He lowered his gun slowly. "It's you...you're supposed to be dead!"

The man shrugged, sunlight glaring through the window gleaming off his teeth. "I'm supposed to be a lot of things. The more important thing here is, do you really believe you're Char Aznable?"

Full Frontal cleared his throat. "Whether or not I believe it, the people need a Char, and-"

The man grinned as he pointed a gun at Full Frontal. "-and they already have one. He's standing right in front of you."

Full Frontal whimpered. "H-How do I know you're not just an imposter?"

Char laughed, loud and clear. "I'm sorry, excuse me? That's like asking a Newtype if he's heard of Amuro Ray. Speaking of Amuro Ray, I've got to remember to call him after I'm done with you. He'll be wondering where I am."

"D-did you say...Amuro...Ray?"

Char's smile was extremely malicious. "I know what you're thinking. He's dead too! Not so much. Did you think a puny asteroid could kill badasses as badass as us? We've been hanging out on the beach, snagging some Feddy ass."

Full Frontal hesitated. "Previously...yes?"

Char bared his teeth. "Hah! Dumbass. I'm Char Aznable!" He pushed the gun into Full Frontal's mouth. "Wouldn't it be funny if Full Frontal was found dead? Or, even better, if he wasn't? I mean, we practically look the same! Let's say I decided to, hmm, kill you and put your clothes on and say I cut my hair because, frankly, it's stupid when it's long."

This was too much for Full Frontal. "Hey! I like my hair long!"

Char tsked. "You have no taste. Honestly, that mask? So One Year War. Didn't you see pictures of me in the Gryps Conflict? I was smoking then."

Full Frontal wasn't sure if this was really happening. "This can't be happening..."

"This is Gundam, Mr. Naked. Tomino will kill anyone and do anything for a good rating. If the audience wants Char it's Char they'll get, even if they have to bring him back from the dead, or, Zabi forbid, clone him."

"Or both," said Full Frontal tonelessly. "The original would make the clone useless..."

"Exactly!" Char slapped Full Frontal on the back playfully and pulled the trigger. "Whoops! My finger slipped."

"Char, hurry up! Standing here in nothing but an apron is making my butt cold!"

"Be right there, Garma, darling!" called Char, stripping Full Frontal naked, flushing him down a large toilet, and putting his clothes on.

"Char Aznable is back, baby!"

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