A/N: I really tried to keep Gru true to his character in the movie while still trying to keep him as a realistic villain. Also, I think I single-handedly destroyed the Russian language when it came to Gru's middle name. Russia uses patronymic middle names, which means the child's middle name is a derivative of the father's first name. Depending on the sex of the child, the ending of the middle name will either end with 'evich' or 'ovich' for a boy. 'ovna' or 'evna' for a girl. As for Tess, I see her Elizabeth Banks (specifically her appearance in Man on a Ledge) (cough Team Hayffie cough) far as appearance goes. As for Michael, think Justin Bartha.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Illumination Entertainment characters.

"We have a new case." The file was slid forward, to her grasp.

APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION, CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS

Name: Felonious Robertevich Gru

Age: 51

D/O/B: September 28, 1960

Race: Caucasian

Height 6'4

Weight: 210 lbs.

Eyes: Blue

Birthplace: Yekaterinburg, Russia

Accomplices: Eugene Russell Nefario (See file)

He has an army of genetically engineered creatures. The creatures are yellow; either have one or two eyes, three fingers, one to three feet tall. These creatures are capable of using weapons and speak a mixture of Russian, Spanish, English, French and gibberish. They are volatile but childish and irresponsible and fiercely loyal to Gru.

Gru has a large, criminally active family.

Weapons: Bombs of various strengths, plasma gun (see file) Freeze ray (see file), capable of weapon creation, (I.e. freeze ray, etc. ), self-made tank (used as primary mode of transportation) self-made plane capable of flying long distances in short periods of time, two self-made rockets (both decommissioned, one was built by Gru when he was eight year old) capable of space travel. A single knife and gun (Beretta 93R) (both usually used as a last resort)

Attacks and Skills: Variety of martial arts, weapons expert, pole vaulting, fencing, hand to hand combat, skilled in hard sciences and aviation.

Known Languages: Gru can speak Russian (by birth), English, and is capable of learning a new language if needed.

Notable Relatives: Natasha Romanoff (Blood; Distant)

Wanted for: Numerous accounts Manslaughter, murder, theft, burglary, arson, conspiracy, forgery, impersonation, destruction of commercial and private property.

Appearance: Bald, large nose, dresses in monotone colors.

Potential Victims: Three young orphaned girls being held hostage; Margo Paterson: 10 y.o., Edith Smith: 8 y.o., Agnes Whitlock 5 y.o.

Tess Sutterfield, lead criminologist for the Federal Bureau of Investigations stared at the file her partner, Michael Fisher, had slid to her. "No. We're not going near this guy; he's armed to the teeth. The man carries so many weapons on himself at one time; it puts Dale Gribble to shame. I told you, we'll need National Guard backup." Tess didn't bother to read the file; she just saw the name and knew it was foolish.

Fisher had always wanted to bring Gru to justice. She didn't know if it was endearing or annoying.

"We have evidence he has stolen three little girls and has them hostage," Fisher said in a serious tone. "He also has created something else, besides those yellow creatures, reconnaissance believes it's some kind of dog," He searched for the right word with a grimace, "thing."

"Where did he get the girls and why does he have them?"

"Your guess is good as mine."

Sutterfield was silent for a few moments, weighing her options. "Fine, but we're not bringing him in just yet. Our main objective is those girls' safety. We'll watch them for a few days, distinguish their routine and go from there. And I'm going with you."

Felonious Gru knew the second he stepped out on his doorstep he was being watched. Usually the fact didn't bother him; he had a legal team that made The Joker's look like a tea party gathering, which meant all of his encounters with the law only entailed a slap on the wrist. However, now he had his daughters to think about and he now feared the consequences his career came with. Gru couldn't think about this now, he didn't want to alarm the girls and had to get them to school.

When he returned home, he didn't hesitate to walk up to the black sedan with blacked out windows parked at the end of the street.

Tess rolled down the window as Gru walked up to the car with his hands behind his back and an annoyed expression. She was thankful she had on sunglasses to obscure her eyes. Eyes always gave away more than intended.

Gru recognized her. The tall, athletic, lean body, wavy blonde hair and calculating and intelligent hazel eyes, every time he saw her, she always carried herself with grace, excellent posture and head held high. He could see the outline of holster hidden under her black blazer and her FBI badge partially obscured by the blazer, clipped to her belt. She was Tess Sutterfield. He hacked into the police records long ago and knew every dirty secret (along was any weakness) about each officer there was to know. He recognized the boyish faced, rustled brown haired young man in the passenger seat, but not from the records. It must have been from somewhere else, which reminded Gru that he needed to update his police database.

Without any pretense or missing a beat, Gru said in a dark tone, matching his expression, "I know what you're doing. I defy you to try to take me away from my daughters and send them back to Miss Hattie when they finally thought their pain was over. I will put up a fight and there will be death and destruction. I can promise that."

Tess grinned, undeterred by him. He wasn't lying, no, but if one had been in the criminology game as long as Tess had, one quickly learns to not show the true emotions. Was Tess afraid of Gru? Not necessarily. Could he do everything he just promised? Absolutely.

"Guilty conscience? Who said we're watching you?" She asked cheekily.

"It is painfully obvious. You still have the police tags on your car." Gru drawled in boredom. Tess glared at Fisher. That was his responsibility. She turned back to Gru.

"So you admit you are a criminal?" Tess countered with a raised eyebrow.

"I think what I do is a form of protest." Without another word, Gru turned on his heel and vanished into his house.

"So the girls are his adoptive daughters, or so he says." Tess thought aloud. She turned to Fisher, "Get directions to that orphanage he talked about. We need to know the information he used to procure those girls, like an alias" Fisher obediently typed away on the laptop on the console and punched the directions in the GPS.