AN/ Hello all, in order to celebrate my return from a brief break from writing, i've decided to try out a new fandom. This is just a short chapter in order to see how people like it, any future chapters will be longer and more detailed.
My sudden decision to write this story was inspired through a conversation with Loki Firefox, and I strongly recommend checking out their story 'Something New' which so far is an excellent read. I also want recommendations for fics to read from this fandom, as I haven't had much of a chance to do so yet.
My other works will still be continued.
Disclaimer: I don't own glee or Harry Potter. Although even if I did, i'd probably still write some fanfiction about them.
What cannot be outright destroyed must be dominated, preferably through the use of cunning and manipulation. This was something that one Sue Sylvester had learned whilst fighting for the Viet Cong. Well, that and how to create a successful pit trap using only a spork, some sharpened shin bones and a bottle of listerine. Never underestimate the use of dental supplies when practising the deadly arts.
Recently, in yet another change of her somewhat mercurial moods, Sue had decided to vent her building frustrations by destroying the glee club. Again. However, whilst contemplating whether the amount of olive oil coating William Shuester's head could cause a national shortage, she had been struck once again with malevolent inspiration.
Her previous attempts at annihilating that band of misbegotten sideshow freaks, had all ended in vomit inducing failure. So perhaps it was time to consider the problem from a different angle. After all, why crush what you can conquer?
It had reached her supernaturally acute ears, that Porcelain 'Lady face' Hummel had just transferred to homosexual Hogwarts. And unless that was a euphemism for something, she chose to assume it meant that he'd abandoned the halls of the hormone addled cesspit which was McKinley high, for gayer pastures. This presented her with a golden opportunity, which she planned to seize and abuse for her own sinister machinations.
With their sectionals performance date fast approaching, Shuester's assortment of jabbering mental patients were one member short of a crazy house. This left them ineligible to compete. Which, whilst being fairly titillating, went completely against her plans.
In the past, she had attempted to stop grease head and his band of oddly proportioned men, by getting the club shut down or disqualified. But in order to subvert control of the glee club for her own uses, she would need an operative. Someone talented, attractive and manipulative enough, to join that collective train wreck and take control of them from the inside. She would have considered Jugzilla Lopez as an option, but she suspected that the girl was too loyal to the enemy's cause to be trusted with this, not to mention her mammoth sized melons would no doubt hinder any progress.
Fortunately she knew just the person to undermine William, and knock Gigantor and his hobbit bride off of their top spots as glee clubs golden couple. And she had no doubts, that they'd easily manage to charm the other losers into doing their bidding. It was time to put a viper in that hen house, then sit back and watch the venom laced carnage.
Her new mission had brought the illustrious Ms Sylvester to the local airport, where she planned to collect her new agent from his transatlantic flight and take him for an emergency briefing. And so she was stood, with the Cheerio she was using as a chauffeur, in this germ infested hell hole. Sue Sylvester detested waiting for anything, that didn't end in a time triggered explosion, so it was fortunate for the surrounding populace that she caught sight of her quarry almost immediately. A flash of messy dark hair, had her quickly navigating the crowd and closing in on her target.
As she came up behind the young man she was seeking, Sue paused to eavesdrop on the conversation he was having with a number of security personnel. Hearing her favourite cousin's only child verbally destroying authority figures, never failed to amuse her.
''So...your passport says that your name is Harry James Potter, is that correct?''
''A security guard that can decipher the written word? Will wonders never cease?'' Harry drawled.
''Don't get smart with me kid!'' The security guard in question growled.
Harry sighed gustily. As if it wasn't enough that he'd suffered through a long and tedious flight, he now had to endure the ignoramuses that inhabited the ass crack of Ohio. Or was that ignorami? He was reasonably certain that both were acceptable word choices for the plural of ignoramus. Note to self, consult google immediately.
As Harry disembarked from the aircraft, he'd immediately been set upon by Dumb and Dumber. Which was what he'd named the charming gentlemen that had dared to waylay him. Though what he'd done to warrant them detaining him, he wasn't entirely sure. He should of known that anything his aunt Sue would ask of him, was going to involve shenanigans.
''Rest assured sir, you'd know if I was being smart with you, as your head would no doubt spontaneously combust due to your lack of comprehension.'' Harry mocked. At least he could vent his annoyance on them.
To his credit, the large man questioning him actually looked like he understood that sentence. Although his younger partner seemed to be somewhat lacking in the brains department, luckily for him he was pretty.
''Um...huh?'' Dumber questioned, blinking cluelessly.
''Enough! Stop back chatting us and confusing my partner.'' Dumb snapped in irritation. ''Now, Virgin Airways has lodged several complaints from employees, that have reported you for misconduct during your flight. These instances include the bullying and harassment of a child-''
''He was morbidly obese and wouldn't stop whining! And I was only kicking the back of his seat for around forty five minutes before I got tired, so in my opinion he got off easy.'' Harry interjected.
''You physically assaulted a seventy four year old woman.'' The man continued, completely ignoring Harry's interruption.
''I was performing a citizens arrest! She was smuggling an illegal nail file onto the plane, so excuse me for helping to combat terrorists.'' He protested adamantly.
''You then verbally abused an airline attendant, reducing her to hysterics and attempted suicide with a plastic eating utensil.'' The officer finished.
''That was hardly my fault. If she didn't want to be spoken to like a dirty whore, then she shouldn't look and smell like one.'' Harry sneered, casually dismissing the allegations.
The officer bristled in anger, at the attitude the teenager was displaying. Eyeing the boys clothing, he quickly deduced that the kid was well off. He was a very good looking lad. By appearances he could of just stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue, or something of the sort. Clearly he was one of those arrogant little shits that believed that because they were intelligent, wealthy and good looking, that they could treat people however they pleased. Well this brat was in for a rude awakening!
''Can we please just hurry this up? I need to get someone that works for the airport to sign my form, and my aunt is waiting for me.'' Harry complained.
''What form?'' Dumb queried curiously. The boy blinked, looking at him in sudden realisation.
''Oh yeah, you work for the airport! That'll save me some time. I have this form that I need to get signed, which my psychiatrist needs to prove that I arrived when the airline said I would.'' He quickly explained.
The kid was seeing a shrink? Well that was unsurprising, given what he'd been accused of doing. The teen then swiftly reached into his carry on bag and whipped out a piece of paper, that he promptly shoved into the officers face.
''Just print your name and signature at the bottom. Then I promise to calmly explain the allegations against me.'' Harry vowed.
Dumb eyed him dubiously, unsure whether or not the boy was being sincere, but he signed the paper none the less. If it was for the kids shrink and he didn't sign it, then it might create issues with helping the airline press any charges against the boy. As soon as the page was signed, the teenager snatched it from his hands with a beaming smile.
''Well, thank you for your time officer, but I really must be going. It was a pleasure meeting you.'' Harry thanked him, as he turned to walk away. Officer Dumber quickly reached out to stop him, by grabbing a hold of his arm.
''Not so fast, we aren't done with you yet.'' He informed him sternly. Harry eyed him with disdain and smacked his hand away.
''Of course you are. After all, you just signed me your power of attorney, which will make it even easier to screw you over if I choose to sue you and this airport for sexual harassment.'' He informed them.
Dumb and Dumber gaped at him stupidly, living up to their new nicknames.
''Power of attorney?'' Officer Dumb repeated, eyeing the signed paper that the boy was now slipping back into his bag.
''Yep! Which when added to the fact that you touched me inappropriately, makes it a pretty simple case of me having you by the balls.'' Harry told him.
''What inappropriate touching?'' He demanded.
In lieu of a verbal response, Harry grabbed the man by the hand and quickly placed the appendage against his backside. The security guard was so stunned at having his hand shamelessly pressed against the boy's ass, that he took a few moments before yanking it away. Which was more than enough time for a certain eavesdropper to take a picture on her phone.
''Outstanding.'' Sue enthused, butting her way into the conversation. The officers turned at the interruption, before staring at her in surprise and recognition.
''Hey, your that woman off of the T.V!'' Dumber exclaimed.
''I certainly am. And as you can no doubt tell, that urban legend about the camera adding ten pounds is just a vile lie to make fatties feel better about themselves.'' She sneered at him. ''And now, if you gentlemen don't mind, I'll be taking my cousin and pretending that I don't have photographic evidence of your little molestation attempt.''
''What?'' Dumb squawked in complete outrage.
''That's...that's insane! We didn't even do anything!'' Dumber feebly protested.
''Irrelevant.'' Harry snapped, waving a hand dismissively. ''After all, who's a judge going to believe? You two? Or this?'' Harry's face abruptly fell, his bottom lip quivering and tears filling his eyes.
''They t-touched me in m-my special area!'' The teen wailed in distress, attracting the concerned stares of passersby who looked at them all curiously. The officers eyes widened in mortification.
''Okay, we get it! Now please stop doing that.'' Officer Dumb pleaded desperately. At his order Harry immediately ceased his hysterical sobbing, and unceremoniously shoved his bags into the two men's arms.
''Good to see that we understand one another.'' Harry chirped happily. ''Now carry these bags to our car, if anyone happens to obstruct our passage I give you permission to taser them in the groin.'' He ordered imperiously.
Seeing that they had little choice in the matter, the two security guards merely exchanged a worried glance before following after the boy, who was storming his way towards the exit. Sue brought up the rear with a maniacal grin lighting up her face, which had people swiftly scurrying out of her path. The lone Cheerio that was her coach's acting chauffeur, trailed behind them with a look of abject horror. General Sylvester had relatives? And apparently whatever malignant forces fuelled her, were a genetic trait. Her cousin, nephew? Whatever that smoking hot guy was, he definitely had Coach Sylvester's...uniqueness. Whatever her reason for having the boy brought here was, it definitely wouldn't end well for the students of William McKinley High School.
Once Harry's new minions had loaded his luggage into the trunk of the car, Sue had her Cheerio shaped slave immediately drive them to Harry's new place of residence. When Sue had made the call to her cousin/pseudo nephew, they had both agreed that it would be more efficient for Harry to purchase his own apartment. If he was to successfully infiltrate the glee club then he couldn't be connected too closely with her, lest that gum haired pansy Will Shuester become suspicious.
''So you want me to join a show choir and manipulate them into making me their captain, so that you can use me as a medium to control them?'' Harry wondered sceptically.
''Precisely scar head.'' Sue confirmed.
To most people, moving across an ocean on the whims of a mad woman without a reasonable explanation, would be out of the question. Harry however had known his mother's cousin since he was six years old, when she and his aunt Jean had come to the Dursley's for Christmas. Up until that point in his life, Harry had been treated with neglect and verbal abuse. Suffice to say, that Sue had been extremely displeased by their treatment of Harry, and had made sure to impress upon them exactly how they should correct their behaviour. From the moment Harry had seen the tracksuit clad woman lift Vernon Dursley by the throat with one hand, he knew he'd found the perfect role model.
Because of aunt Sue, as she'd allowed Harry to call her, the Dursley's had been far more tolerant of his presence among them. They hadn't been friendly by any stretch of the imagination, but they had at least become civil. Harry often suspected that it was his fondness for his aunt Jean that lead to Sue Sylvester's tolerance of his existence, despite her dislike of children.
When Harry had turned eleven, he had started at Hogwarts Academy for the gifted, the prestigious school that his parents had attended. Members of his father's family, had been educated there for generations. It was also at this time that Harry had gained access to his rather sizeable trust fund, which had drastically improved his lifestyle.
Upon arriving at Hogwarts, Harry had been sorted into the house of Gryffindor. Which was surprising given that he believed himself far more suited to Slytherin, but he hadn't really cared all that much. He excelled in most of his classes, but found himself drawn to the performing arts and extracurricular self defence programs. In these areas he shone, receiving constant praise for his talents. He'd won numerous awards and commendations for his singing and dancing, with even more in gymnastics and martial arts. He was a favourite for competition in the Olympics next year, which he fully intended to qualify for. Nothing less than an Olympic gold medal in his sports of choice would satisfy him.
Since starting at Hogwarts, Harry had taken to spending his summers with aunt Sue and Jean, in various strange and fascinating locations. Last year they'd visited a Mayan temple, because Sue had it on good authority that it contained an artefact of unspeakable power. Needless to say the trip was a bust, but the historical aspect had been interesting.
''I think I'll have you join the Cheerios as well. You can help me whip those lopsided Jezebels into shape.'' Sue abruptly decided. Harry chose not to point out that doing so would be counterproductive to disassociating himself with her. With how quickly she changed her mind about things, it was often best to just go with the flow.
''Cheerleading? You do realise that i'm hoping to compete against the worlds finest gymnasts next year?'' Harry asked her. She nodded.
''Just tell the Olympic committee, that it was an act of charity towards those of lesser athletic ability.'' Sue ordered.
It'd be just like the time he'd informed the girls lacrosse team, that he'd previously assumed they had two male lacrosse teams. They all started dressing far more femininely after that. He was always willing to offer advice to beings of lesser calibre than himself.
''Very well, but at least wait until after I've joined the gay club.'' Harry reluctantly agreed.
''Glee club.'' Sue corrected absently, although it didn't sound as if she particularly cared.
''Whatever.'' Harry shrugged it off. He was too busy imagining peoples reactions to him wearing a cheerleading outfit. He wasn't sure whether Hermione would praise him for doing a sport that was considered a predominantly female pastime, or scold him for joining a group of vapid airheads that made women look bad. With her it really could go either way.
Thinking of his best friend, had him making a mental note to contact her soon. One never knew when he might need a genius computer programmer to illegally hack something for him. One good thing about attending Hogwarts was rubbing shoulders with the best and brightest, the school boasted some world famous former alumni that made excellent contacts. There were also some rising stars, who had attended school with him, that were on the fast track to success. Hermione Granger was one of them. The bushy haired, frighteningly intelligent girl, had been his best friend since he was eleven, when he'd rescued her from an older student that was acting improperly towards her. The student in question was currently inhabiting a mental institution in Poland.
''So where should I start? I was thinking of endearing myself to some of the individual members of the club, before officially seeking to join. If possible I'd rather that they ask me to join them of their own volition. Perhaps I could stage an impromptu performance?'' He theorized.
''Do whatever you feel necessary, just try not to screw up.'' Sue warned him. ''I have a reputation of terror and dominance to maintain.''
Harry paused, suddenly remembering something that she'd told him.
''Didn't you say that members of the club are victims of bullying?'' He questioned. Sue nodded sharply, which meant that only some of the bullying was done by her.
''Yep, one of my former Cheerios just transferred because of it.'' She claimed, sounding vaguely annoyed. For someone who loved to intimidate and victimise others, it would probably surprise people that Sue Sylvester hated bullies. The difference with her, was that she didn't discriminate. No one was safe from her wrath, because everyone was equally inferior and distasteful in her eyes.
''Can we go visit aunt Jean before you drop me off? I promised I'd go and see her as soon as I got here.'' Harry asked, already knowing what the answer would be.
''Sure thing green eyes.'' Sue agreed, before banging harshly on the glass that separated them from the front of the vehicle. ''Take us to white acres care home post haste, you mindless drone.'' She snapped, causing the girl driving the car to jump at the command.
''Yes Coach Sylvester!'' She swiftly complied. Harry eyed the girl curiously.
''Hmm, it looks like your squad members retain enough emotion to feel fear.'' He shrewdly observed.
''The spineless morons on the school board, pointed out that striking them with a bull whip was physical abuse.'' Sue explained disdainfully. She deeply regretted giving up her position as principal, she'd have to ponder some other way to gain power. Luckily with Harry handling things with the geek club, she had plenty of time to devote to other projects.
Harry spent the remainder of the journey, Facebook stalking various students that attended William McKinley High. He found a treasure trove of information, that would prove extremely useful in bending people to his will. One student had been kind enough to post a number of videos, featuring interviews with numerous classmates, including the glee club. They were very enlightening, although they were also bordering on several harassment laws. Harry made a note to blackmail Jacob Ben Israel and hire someone to sheer off his hideous jewfro, as the boy could prove to be a useful pawn.
After spending the afternoon with aunt Jean, watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Sue had dumped Harry at his new apartment with a demand that he maintain contact over a secure phone line. His aunt expected regular progress updates, but other than that she was going to leave him to his own devices. He would seize control of the glee club, and turn them into national champions in the process. After all if he had to join them, then he'd accept nothing less than absolute victory.
His new place of residence managed to meet his usual standards. The penthouse that he'd purchased was spacious, and already fully furnished. The furniture and décor were sufficiently modern and suited his tastes, so he didn't feel the need to do any unnecessary redecorating. The hardwood floors and mahogany tables, went nicely with the crème coloured upholstery on the sofas. It had all of the most important features, including a state of the art entertainment system and full sized pool table for when he chose to entertain company. The hot tub was a nice touch as well, which he intended to try out as soon as he'd unpacked. But the most vital thing was ofcourse the enormous water bed, that took up half of his master bedroom, and again was for when he chose to entertain company.
As he later stood at the window, enjoying a glass of whiskey and looking out at his spectacular view of the town, Harry found himself actually looking forward to the following day. Let the mass brain warping begin.
How was my first foray into a new fandom? Good? Bad? Please review and tell me your thoughts. I'd also like to hear pairing ideas both het and slash. I'm very fond of Puck, Blaine, Sam, Mike, Santana, Brittany and Tina.