A cold wind blew as Fraser stood by Ray's car and watched Beth Botrelle's house. The yellow light that shown out through the windows made the house look almost inviting, but Fraser knew better. Ray might come out of that house broken and Fraser hoped he could repair Ray.
The front door opened and Ray walked out. His normally light footsteps were a shuffle and his head was down. He walked over to his car and got in the driver's seat. Fraser sat in the passengers seat, looked at Ray and waited for something to happen.
Ray reached into his jean pocket and pulled out his keys. With shaking hands he tried to put them in the ignition, but they fell. Metal clinked against metal and Ray looked over at Fraser.
Fraser was shocked when he stared into Ray's eyes. Ray's eyes were always bright, but now his eyes were full of pain and he reminded Fraser of a wounded caribou. Ray held his face in his hand, lost his composure and started to cry. His shoulders shook and deep sobs escaped.
Fraser wished he knew what to do, he couldn't remember his father ever crying, so he did the only thing he could. He reached over and put his arm around Ray's shoulders. He wondered what the real Ray Vicchio would have done and hoped he was proud. Both Rays were such good friends to Fraser that Fraser wanted to return the affection. When it came to Ray Kowalski Fraser hoped for more than friendship, but he was content nevertheless.
Fraser turned his head and stared out the car window to give Ray some privacy.
Ray sobbed for what felt like hours, but Fraser knew logically it was probably only a few minutes and then as quickly as Ray had started he stopped.
Fraser turned his head in time to see Ray wipe his face with his hand.
Fraser removed his arm from around Ray shoulder. 'You're very welcome.'
'Want me to drive you to the Consulate?'
Dief barked from the backseat. He was determined to not leave Ray's side and he wanted Fraser to do the same.
Fraser thought about it. Politeness dictated to leave Ray alone with his emotions, but on the other hand Ray might want company and was just asking out of obligation. Fraser decided to take a chance.
'I was hoping I could return to your apartment with you.'
Ray's eyes went wide. 'Really?'
'Of course. Dief is very insistent that he stay with you and I would be remiss if I didn't stay with you as well. Can I stay with you?'
I small smile crossed Ray's lips. 'Yeah, sure. Thanks... for everything.'
'You're very welcome.'
As they drove through the city Fraser watched buildings pass by. Some were dark but many were lit, their light blocked only the brightest stars. Fraser missed the sky full of stars, but he missed Canada most of all. He might technically live in Canada by living in the Consulate but it wasn't the same.
Once they arrived at Ray's apartment Ray and Fraser walked over and sat on Ray's couch. Dief jumped on Ray's lap and Ray ran his fingers through Dief's fur. As Fraser watched Ray buried his face in Dief's neck. Fraser smiled as Ray smiled and Dief made happy noises. He had thought he would have to cheer up Ray, but Dief seemed to be doing a commendable job. Ray looked at Fraser and while there was still sadness in his eyes, Ray didn't look nearly as despondent as he had been.
'Thanks, Dief-Buddy,' Ray said as he continued to pet Dief. 'Hey, Fraser? You want a drink?'
Fraser had been so enamoured with staring at Ray that the sound of Ray's voice came as a shock.
'Of course. I would prefer a glass of water.'
Dief jumped off the couch and went over to his favorite chair and laid down. Ray walked to the kitchen and came back holding a glass of water and a bottle of beer. Sitting down of the couch, Ray handed Fraser his glass of water.
He sipped his water and let the metallic tasting liquid slide down his throat. Fraser watched Ray and he was staring down at his bottle of beer. Suddenly Ray spoke.
'She said thank you.'
Fraser wasn't sure if Ray was talking to him or to himself. 'Who did? Beth?'
'Yep. Can you believe it. After all the stuff she had been through because of me she said thank you.'
'I can believe it. You saved an innocent woman. What you did was very commendable.'
'Nah. Anybody would have done that.'
Fraser thought back to the Frank Zuko case and how all his fellow police officers were determined to see Frank punished for a crime he didn't commit. Not everyone wanted to see the right person brought to justice, being flawed was to be human after all and while Fraser knew he was flawed that particular flaw eluded him.
'Hey, I've been thinking about something.'
Fraser waited for Ray to say more but he didn't. 'What is it?'
'I... I'm... Oh screw it,' Ray stammered as he leaned across the couch and brushed his lips against Fraser's.
Fraser could not move no matter how much he wanted it to. He knew he should push Ray away, but a traitorous part of him wanted to pull Ray closer.
After several moments Ray backed up. 'Oh, jeeze. I didn't mean... I mean I didn't mean... Damn it.'
For the second time tonight Ray was upset, but this time Fraser knew what to do. He placed his hand on Ray knee and rubbed his fingers against denim.
'There is no need to worry. Your affections were not unwanted, I just don't want to take advantage of you while you are upset.'
Ray put his hand on top of Fraser's. 'Really?'
'Will you sleep with me tonight?'
Fraser was confused. According to Ray Vecchio 'sleeping together' sometimes meant sex and while he wasn't against the idea it seemed much to soon. His confusion must have shown because Ray grinned and said, 'You think I mean sex, don't ya?'
Now Fraser was even more confused. 'Don't you?'
'Nah. No sex just sleep.'
Now it was Fraser's turn to grin. 'In that case I would be more than happy to sleep with you.'
'Greatness! You want to sleep now?'
'Of course. If you want to that is.'
'Okay. Let's get at her.'
Ray grabbed Fraser's hand and pulled him up from the couch. After Fraser stood up, instead of letting go Fraser held Ray's hand. He reveled in the feeling of warm skin.
'Don't try to eat my turtle,' Ray said to Dief.
Dief lifted his head, grumbled and went back to sleep.
Fraser and Ray walked down the hallway until the came to Ray's bedroom. Ray turned on a light and Fraser stood in the doorway looking around the room. The walls were a pale blue, there were clothes strewn around the room, but what Fraser noticed the most was a large, unmade bed that was pushed against the far wall.
Fraser and Ray walked into room.
'You want to borrow something to wear to bed?'
'No thank you. I would prefer to use your closet.'
'Sure, knock yourself out.'
Fraser walked into Ray's closet and shut the door. It usually took him five seconds to change into his long johns, but he was so distracted by thoughts of Ray that it took him all of ten seconds to change.
Fraser walked out of the closet and walked over to Ray's bed. Ray was laying under the blankets. Fraser lifted up the blanket and laid down next to Ray. Without a word Ray curled up next to Fraser and Fraser held him. The smell of Ray's shampoo and aftershave surrounded Fraser like a blanket.
Fraser didn't want to sleep, Ray was so warm in his arms, but sometime during the night sleep overtook him.
He woke up in the morning to an empty bed and for one horrible moment he thought the last night had been a dream. Then he realized he wasn't on his cot, but in a bed that smelled like Ray. Fraser buried his face in a Ray scented pillow and closed his eyes.
'What are you doing?' Bob Fraser said.
Fraser sat up and look at his father. Once again Bob Fraser had shown up at a very inopportune time.
'Enjoying the morning.'
'That's all well and good, but your going to be late for work.'
As much as Bob was irritating, when he was right he was right. The last time he had missed work he had ended up with a bullet in his back and while he knew Ray wouldn't shoot him he didn't want to do anything to bring about bad luck.
'I can't believe you have feelings for the yank. You could have at least fallen in love with someone who likes curling.'
Fraser was about to respond, but Bob disappeared.
Fraser got out of bed and put on his clothes. As he pulled his sweater over his head he thought about Ray. Fraser didn't know what he would do if Ray said last night was a mistake. He would of course accept Ray's decision, even if Fraser would not want it that way. One night with Ray seemed much worse than no Ray at all, but then he had had only night with Victoria as well.
Fraser walked into Ray's living. Rock music was on a radio and Ray was dancing around his apartment.
Ray grinned when he saw Fraser. 'Hey. You going to work today.'
'Of course. Do you regret last night?'
'Nope. Do you?'
'Of course not.'
'Cool. Cool. Can I kiss you? I promise I'm not upset anymore so you won't be taking advantage of my afflictions.'
Ray brushed his lips against Fraser and Fraser grabbed Ray shoulders, his cotton t-shirt was soft.
As Fraser kissed Ray back, Ray deepened the kiss. After several long moments Ray broke the kiss.
'I've been thinking. Did you and Vecchio ever do stuff,' Ray said while making a hand gesture.
Fraser felt his cheek heat as he watched Ray hand gesture. 'Not as such. I love Ray, but it's a platonic love.'
'Oh. I guess we can't do anything until I'm done being Vecchio, huh?'
'It would seem to complicate your undercover work if we did anything amorous.'
'Okay. Okay. Can we have one more kiss?'
Fraser didn't say anything, but kissed Ray. As they kissed Fraser thought about how lucky he was. He felt like he had won a lifetime supply of pemican.