'Poetic Irony'

Omake #1; Ukyo-basting sauce

1 pint dashi (fish) stock
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon cold water mixed with 2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon vegetable or seasame seed oil (pref. to taste)
half teaspoon pepper
half teaspoon garlic powder
2 tablespoons mirin sake
1 tablespoon oyster sauce

Combine all but the corn starch mixture into small saucepan, and bring to near boil. Set to simmer for a few moments, then slowly mix in cornstarch mixture. Stir every so often over low heat until thickened. Serves one full Ukyo (or you could use it on non-red meat okonomiyaki, it works pretty good as a chicken baste, too!)

Extra tip: If out of corn starch, flour makes a decent substitute.

Omake #2;

Ranma stared forward, unblinking, unmoving. Suddenly, for the first time in months, he began to show life, as the corner of his mouth began to twitch. The ones who put him in this state have been taken care of, bringing vengence to his angered soul...

Ranma's lips began to bow, before his eyes blinked, and his mouth stretched into an irritated grimace

"HEY! THAT WASN'T FUNNY, YOU JERKS... huh?" Ranma looked around to find himself in a white padded cell, with his arms held firm in a straight jacket.

"WHAT THE...?" Ranma struggled with his jacket, causing himself to fall over onto his side; he couldn't gain leverage from his legs, as he couldn't feel them from being in lotus position for so long.

"HEY! LEMME OUTTA HERE!" Ranma shouted, wondering what he had done to deserve this predicerment.

Omake #3;

"THAT WASN'T FUNNY, AKANE!" Nabiki screamed, as she threw her bed pillow at her sister.

Akane rolled around on the ground, laughing her ass off, "Oh man, you shoulda SEEN your face!"


"Mousse?" Akane blinked, before opening her mouth in comprehension, "OH! That? He's not dead, Sasuke's been expirementing with Kodachi's voodoo drugs again. The Kunos offered to dig him up and fix him, good as new!"

"But... but Kasumi..."

Akane gave her sister a puzzled glare, "Uh, Kasumi always gets lobotomized every Wednesday. It's an addiction that she really needs to get help for."

Nabiki stared at her sister.

"Well, I'm bushed!" Akane stated, before hopping over to her sister's bed, and kissing her on the cheek, "Night night!"

"B... bu... bu..." Nabiki stuttered, before regaining herself, "KODACHI! UKYO! SHAMPOO! WHAT THE HELL WAS WITH NODOKA?!?"

Akane seemed to think about this, and held up her fingers to mark them off, "Kodachi's been studying contortionism, and got a bit carried away with the mallet exercise. Ukyo's just gotten into some REALLY kinky shit lately and went a bit too far, from the looks of it. Auntie Nodoka just doesn't seem to like you for some reason." Akane shrugged at the last one, and turned to walk out the room.

"Wha, what about Shampoo?" Nabiki asked, feeling a migrane headache building.

"Ah... heh..." Akane rocked on the balls of her feet, looking away innocently.

"Nevermind, forget it, I just want to forget about it all," Nabiki said, tiredly, before glaring at her sister, "But you *will* answer for this."

"Oh lighten up, Nabiki, it was only for fun!" Akane chided, before taking a deep breath, and starting to walk out the room.

"Gee, looks like this whole twisted episode is all wrapped up, huh?" Nabiki said more to herself, but out loud.

"Uh huh?" Akane replied, with her back turned, and then stated in a whisper, "But now I have to kill you."

Nabiki looked up to her sister with a puzzled expression, "Huh?"

"Nothing," Akane replied, before whispering, "Kill you dead."

"What was that?"

"Sorry, a bit of flem," Akane replied, sheepishly, before barking loudly, "DEAD!"


"What? I have allergies!"

Omake #4;

"Nobody knowwwwwwwsu de turubu Ivu seen. Nobody knowwwwwwwsu de soruru. Nobody-"

"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" One of the women in the cell next to her's screamed. Nodoka bristled, and put her harmonica away.

"My word, the people here are just so rude!"

Omake #5

"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Ryoga shouted, before shrugging, and going back to playing Tekken 4.

Hey, he had to be in the story somewhere... I guess