Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Jess, mentions of (very) brief Balthazar/Castiel and Crowley/Dean.
Characters: Adam Milligan, John Winchester, Anna Milton, Gabriel
Warnings: Relationship between underaged characters, relationship between a 16 year old and a 19 year old. Un-beta'd, English isn't my first language.
Notes: IDK where this came from. I just started writing and then holy shit 13 pages. This is pure fluff and has absolutely no plot. Happy feels are everywhere. Enjoy!
Ages at the beginning of the story;
Adam – 1 year old
Sam & Cas - 8 years old
Dean – 12 years old
Gabriel - 13 years old (for high school, he repeats a year)
The first time Castiel met the Winchesters, he was eight years old and peering through his window as he spied on the new neighbors moving in opposite the street. A boy his age was sitting outside playing with what must be his baby brother (he looked to be no more than a year old) as his dad and an older boy, another brother?, finished moving things from their moving van into the small house. Fascinated, Castiel had been glued to the spot for over an hour before Gabriel joined him. No doubt his curiosity over the new neighbors had won over his sulking about the old ones moving out.
"Looks like you're finally gonna get some friends," Gabriel noted, eying the kids playing. With a smirk, he added, "That is, if you had the balls to actually make them."
Their father didn't approve of such language, but Gabriel didn't care about such things, Castiel knew. He'd just point out their father wasn't here to hear him, which Castiel couldn't argue with, but still.
Puffing his cheeks in annoyance, he sent his older brother a glare. "I do too!", he denied, balling his fists at Gabriel's taunting laughter and patronizing hand on his shoulder. "I bet you don't dare to go over and ask if you can join, do you? Not even to just say hi," Gabriel continued, still smirking. Castiel bristled and shook the hand off of him, pushing his way past and making his way to the door, not stopping to think or else his shyness would overcome him and he'd never be able to do it. He didn't want to give Gabriel the satisfaction, and the boy had looked like he was nice, and Castiel didn't actually have any friends right now.
He was on a roll until he had stepped outside and was making his way towards the pair of playing boys, slowing down as he neared the moving van until he came to a stop. Peering around the front of it, he watched anxiously as the boy his age played with a plastic airplane in his hand and made noises, flying it through the air and making the toddler giggle and wave his hands at it. He was in the process of gathering non-existent courage when the older boy he'd spotted came into his line of vision. Startled, Castiel stumbled a step back and gasped; staring wide-eyed as the boy grinned and titled his head, reaching out to steady him.
"Hey there," he said, gently. "You okay?"
Castiel nodded numbly, too mortified to speak just yet. The boy looked Gabriel's age, maybe a little younger, and had startling green eyes in a pleasant, open face. It made him want to simultaneously relax and go stiff; he'd never been good with people, Gabriel said he wasn't a people-person, and he especially didn't know how to deal with these people-persons.
"All right, good," the boy said after sweeping his gaze over him to make sure he hadn't lied. "You're one of our neighbors, aren't you?" He nodded again. "Cool. You wanted to say hi, right? I'm Dean Winchester."
Castiel shook his hand and managed a weak, "Pleased to meet you. I'm Castiel Milton," while blushing hot red. Dean kept smiling, letting go of his hand and gesturing towards his little brothers. "Why don't you go over there and introduce yourself to Sammy and Adam? Sammy'll love having someone new to play with too."
Nodding, which seemed to be the only thing Castiel could do nowadays (why couldn't he be normal? Dean must think he's such a freak), he followed as Dean steered him around the van and pushed him gently towards his brothers. The one his age looked up and brightened at the new company, distracting Castiel for a moment, and when he'd recovered he noticed Dean had disappeared back into the house. He heard the deep voice of a man say, "There you are Dean," before he was distracted again.
"Hi! I'm Sammy!" the boy his age exclaimed, having stood up to take his hand. With a grimace he gestured to the toddling now clinging to his leg and added, "And this is my little brother Adam. Only half though, we didn't have the same mom. I never knew mine and Adam spends every other week with his. Dean usually takes care of him 'cause Adam's such a baby, he'd boring, but sometimes he's all right. Wanna play?"
Castiel blinked at this onslaught of babble, uncertain as to what would be the correct response with so many different bits to reply to. "I'm Castiel," he began, uncertain. "I've only got one brother, Gabriel. Don't play with him because he likes to prank you."
It seemed to satisfy Sammy, who'd returned to his sitting positing on the ground and was waiting for Castiel to join him. "Castiel is a strange name," he'd said, before they'd started playing with the different toys strewn around them. Adam didn't seem to need much attention as long as it got it when he wanted it, and Castiel felt a warm feeling in his chest as Sammy prattled on about things Castiel couldn't really understand sometimes but which he knew from observation was things friends talked about. It got even better when Dean came back out and asked Sammy how he was getting along with his new friend, and Sammy replied with enthusiasm. Castiel had officially made his first friend out of school.
Sammy and Castiel grew closer quickly, despite being a bit different, and it became a regular thing to walk between each other's houses and play almost every day. Sometimes Sammy had to bring Adam with him, because their dad needed Dean to help with something, but that was all right, Castiel liked Adam. He was sweet and fascinating, though Sammy complained a lot about him and didn't seem to know how to handle him at times, so he usually brought something for the toddler to occupy himself with. It became easier as they got older, and Castiel found he was even getting to know Dean, which was surprising since Gabriel hated being around younger kids.
Dean seemed used to it, however, and often made them snacks or took them out on trips. Sammy would sometimes complain about this too, about Dean being annoying and stealing his friends, but Castiel was the worst liar ever and so never backed him up on these occasions. He never found Dean annoying. He was awed and intimidated, but liked him very much. Especially when he made him lunchboxes for school along with Sammy's, because his father never home in the mornings when he got up and his mom couldn't cook very well, and gladly agreed to splitting the duties up.
It wasn't until Castiel was twelve that things started to become a bit complicated.
"Hi Cas," Dean greeted, the nickname he'd given Castiel almost immediately in the beginning having now stuck with him through the years. "Sammy overslept a bit but he should be down any minute."
Castiel smiled nervously, having never really gotten over his shyness around the older boy but by now both of them were used to it, though Dean still teased him about it sometimes. Not like Gabriel did, however. Gabriel was mean, and Dean was never mean to him.
"Hi Dean," he replied, sitting down by the kitchen table and grabbing his lunchbox, pushing it down into his backpack. "Are you taking us to school today?" John Winchester wasn't around yet and Dean had just gotten his license a while back.
Dean nodded around a piece of toast, settling a glass in from of Castiel and pouring him some milk. "Yeah," he said once his mouth was free. "Late night again, old man needs his beauty sleep." He said the last with a wink, which caused Castiel to flush and squirm uncomfortably in his seat. This kind of thing felt different now, for some reason. Dean was still somewhat bigger than life, in Castiel's eyes, but there was something more to it now. He had no idea what; he could barely sort out the basics of human interaction as it was. Gabriel said he was the most awkward freak in the world, but mom would always slap the back of his head when he said so and pull Castiel into one of her warm, soft hugs that were the best. Sammy loved them too, though they'd always made Dean uncomfortable for some reason.
Taking a sip from his glass, Castiel nodded for lack of a better reply, settling for a quiet, "Thank you, Dean," regarding the milk instead. Dean ruffled his hair, an act that was beginning to be as annoying as it had always been welcomed, which was another recent development. "No problem, feather-boy, you need it to grow. You're even tinier than Sammy, almost as small as Adam. Gotta eat and drink right so you don't get stuck like this," Dean teased, grinning. Castiel bristled, cheeks hot, and took another gulp of milk, glaring at the wall. He didn't care for the nickname Dean had used, something the older boy had come up with after hearing his mom call him angel. He'd protested for a long time, because she called Gabriel her angel too, but Dean had laughed it off and said Gabriel was more like a heinous fiend than an angel.
He didn't need to comment on his size, because it was true, even if it rubbed him the wrong way for some reason. It had never bothered him before, but Dean was growing taller by the day and he wasn't comfortable with being so small next to him. Not that Dean would ever use his bigger size against him, unless it was to bully him into eating properly or going home before curfew or something like that, but there it was. So he mostly just let his silence voice his complaints at this treatment, and tried not to be so obvious with how eagerly he finished off his milk and vegetables in a vain hope they'd somehow fast-forward the growth spurt everyone was promising him lied in the near future.
"Ready!" came Sammy's yell from upstairs, followed by the thunderous stomping of him running down the stairs. Dean made a noise of annoyance, heading out the kitchen to catch his brother's wild dash towards to door. Castiel grabbed Sammy's lunch as he followed suit, observing the brothers with a slight unease. Dean didn't look happy.
"Damnit Sammy," Dean snapped, frowning and holding onto his brother's arm. "Dad's asleep. Can't you try to be quiet for once? No, shut up, you're riding alone in the back today. Cas'll sit in the front. Now c'mon."
Sammy glared but didn't protest, shoving his arms into his jacket and hauling his schoolbag over his shoulder. Castiel silently handed him his lunchbox on their way to the car, noting the guilty look Sammy threw his way. "Sorry man," he said. Castiel shrugged, thinking he wasn't really the one to apologize to, but he knew Sammy knew it so let it be. Sammy and Dean were nothing like him and Gabriel together, but sometimes, he could relate. His mom said it was probably because Dean was stuck somewhere between brother and caretaker, whatever that meant. She got a soft look on her face when she'd said it though, but it was complicated. Castiel tried not to think about it.
The ride to school wasn't silent, because Dean always had music on, but there wasn't any talking until a few minutes in when Sammy finally cracked. "I'm sorry, Dean," he mumbled loud enough to be heard over the soft tones of the music. Dean rolled his shoulders, still frowning.
"I know Sammy," he said, no longer sounding angry but still a bit tense, "But you gotta think a bit, okay? Dad's working hard and he needs to sleep. Just try to keep it down next time, okay squirt?"
Dean eyed Sammy in the mirror, watching him nod and duck his head down to hide his flush. Dean continued. "Good. I'm not angry with you anymore Sammy, I'm just worked up. You know?"
They did know. Back when Dean was a bit older then they are now he'd explained he was going to be a bit more easily irritated than before, after he'd lost his temper on them and John had taken him aside for a talk. Castiel knew what it was now, of course. Teenager, puberty. He'd devoured many books on the subject after having been told about it and Gabriel had suddenly made much more sense. Dean was still better at reining himself in, but when he lost it, Gabriel's retaliation-pranks were almost preferred. Only Castiel's mom and John made Castiel and Sammy feel as if they'd been a disappointment as much as Dean did.
"Okay," Sammy said after a moment, seemingly relieved. Castiel let out a breath. He didn't like it when Sammy was in trouble, and hated it when Dean was angry. He preferred his Winchesters safe and in good moods.
"Mom's picking us up after school," Castiel blurted, suddenly remembering what his mom had asked him to pass on. She did this sometimes, guilty she couldn't do it more often but now that Dean had a license it didn't make any sense, since Dean went to their school anyway and mom's work was in the complete opposite direction of town. Sammy made a whooping sound in the backseat. He liked Castiel's mom very much.
"Okay," Dean said. "Sure Anna's cool with it? She knows it's no problem, right?"
Hi mom had known he would say that, as had Castiel. "She said to tell you she's rolling her eyes at you, if you said that." Dean spared him an incredulous look at that. "Your mom's crazy, but don't tell her I said that." He's pointing a warning finger at him, eyes still on the road. Castiel grins as Sammy sniggers.
"I can't promise anything," he says innocently. Dean snorted, reaching out to ruffle his hair again. Castiel frowned, ignoring Sammy's laughter at his expense. He knew Sammy disliked it even more than he did, and hoped Dean would subject him to the same treatment once they arrived.
He wasn't disappointed.
It took him a while before he realized this new thing he felt around Dean was a crush. Castiel didn't know crushes, hadn't had one before to his knowledge (despite Gabriel mocking him about Han Solo), but he trusted his mom. Even if she'd laughed fondly when she'd told him what it was he had been trying to describe to her, once he'd finally had enough of the confusing mix of feelings. Knowing what it was didn't help, however, because Castiel was just barely shy of thirteen and he was tiny. He and Sammy were like brothers, and Dean was Sammy's brother. Dean was seventeen and had a leather jacket and all the girls giggled about him. It wasn't like Castiel had a chance, even if he hadn't been so close to Sammy – who wanted to go by Sam now – and practically grew up under Dean's roof.
It didn't make it go away, because apparently logic only goes so far despite his grades in maths, but he became used to the warm feeling inside when he thought about Dean. It sort of became part of him and so he didn't dwell on it, because it was so normal now to miss Dean and seek him out whenever he could. Sam had figured it out almost immediately and teased him relentlessly, but he wasn't as mean about it as Gabriel, who'd only refrain from telling Dean because the two of them could barely stand to be in the same room together long enough to get past an insulting greeting.
It doesn't occur to Castiel to think there would be anything weird with crushing on a boy, though. Neither his parents (he's quite sure his mom spoke with his father about it), Gabriel or Sam makes it a point in their teasing, and so he can't be faulted for reeling back in shock when he's thrust into the world of High School and it's special brand of bullies. So two weeks in, when at fourteen Castiel kisses his first boy (he'd been ten when Meg Masters had planted an uncomfortably slobbery peck on his mouth), he's not expecting the resulting fall-out.
Balthazar's two years older and he likes him, but after word gets out of what happened behind the bleachers, he survives by his reputation. Castiel does not.
Sam's there for him, through the sudden rainfall of insults. It's not like Castiel has ever been popular; he's always been weird, and different. Has never quite known how to fit in, and most of the time, he hasn't understood why he should feel a need to. But he's never been outright bullied before, because he's always faded into the background and had been so easy to ignore. Harmless, nothing special. He's unused to the openly hostile attention from some, and he doesn't know how he would've fared had he not been plastered to Sammy's side through the whole day. It doesn't take long until Sam's dragged down with him, however. It was inevitable, but it's just another hurt, no matter how grateful he is for the fierce support of his best friend. They weather it together, but both know it doesn't stop there, and it's possibly the worst way to start off high school Castiel could have ever imagined.
It's surprisingly Gabriel that sits them both down and deals with it first. Though, maybe not so surprising since he's the one driving them home that day and Castiel's cheeks are hot of shame and his eyes are red-rimmed from crying. He hadn't known strangers could hurt him like that. Sam's a silent presence by his side. Neither of them are equipped to deal with this, neither are sure what has exactly happened, but Sam tells Gabriel the moment he's pulled the car over by the road far enough away from the school to have a surprisingly comforting distance between Castiel and the hell that just happened.
"It's okay, bro," he says, twisted around to face him in the backseat. He reached out to rest his hand on his head and Castiel breathes in, shakily. "Probably should've had this talk earlier, but guess we didn't expect it to go like this."
Castiel sniffs, uncomfortable to be so wrecked in his brother's presence despite somehow knowing this wouldn't be put on the never-ending list of blackmail and mockery Gabriel has on him. His brother's eyes are gentle for a moment before he scrunches hi nose up. "Be glad it was me who caught you like this. Dean-o is gonna rage hellfire when he finds out, even without the added incentive of your crying baby-face, not to mention little Sammy over there."
Both of them bristles, Sam at the nickname ("I'm not a kid!") and Castiel at the comment about his face ("I do not have a baby-face! You're a baby-face!"). Essentially though, they agree. They only know Dean as a high school student through rumors and reputation; their relationship to him has made people talk about him directly to them or behind their backs for years. He's as admired as he's feared and although he's not known by everyone, he's infamous among those who do know of him. He's been known to not pull his punches, and Sam and Castiel had seen him bruised a lot over the years much to Castiel's mom's grief.
"Whatever," Gabriel waves their protests off with an impatient hand and fixes them with a stern, serious look that is as rare as polar bears on the South Pole. Pointing a finger at them, his voice is as steady and serious as he looks. "Whatever happens, Dean-o and I will have your backs, got it? Bullies suck but you're gonna have to do a crash-course in how to deal with them, but don't ever hesitate to ask for help, got it? That goes for both of you." Castiel can only nod, forever grateful that if this had to happen, at least he wasn't on his own. Seemingly satisfied at Sam's following nod of agreement as well, Gabriel turns back around and pulls out on the street again, taking them home.
Almost as an afterthought, he adds, "And there's nothing wrong with being gay. Dicks are awesome things."
Castiel blushes and the mortification is back as if on cue, only it's more familiar and less knife-stabbing-ly painful.
When Dean finds out, there's hell to pay and Castiel is even more horrified than Sam as he promptly teams up with Gabriel and tears down the school in a year that shall go down in history. There are still insults, still some shuffling in corridors, but Castiel survives his freshman year and can almost look forward to his second year once the summer comes to an end if it weren't for the fact that both Dean and Gabriel had graduated.
When they're fifteen, Sam finally asks Jessica Moore out for a date and Castiel watches with a sort of fascinated longing as his best friend is swept up in a wave of hormones and kissing and hand-holding. Gabriel has left for college but Dean has stayed, working even more now that he doesn't have school to worry about. On the many days Castiel finds himself at a loss of what to do, because Sam's at the movies with Jess or has been dragged off (with a blissful face) to go shopping with her, he often finds himself over at the Winchester's house anyway. Only when Dean is home, because that's the only reason he'd be there, and it's nice even if he's got to entertain Adam more often than not. He's eight years old now and Dean had gotten him and Sam (and by extension, Castiel) a Nintendo last Christmas and Adam can't stop playing Mariokart.
Castiel doesn't mind much, because Dean joins them, even with dark shadows under his eyes. However he likes it best when Adam is at his mother's, even if it makes him feel ashamed and guilty, because he likes the youngest Winchester but he's always been closer to Sam and Sam's always been closer to Dean. The kid has a way of demanding Dean's attention that makes both Sam and Castiel bristle just a bit – then eye each other in shared guilt – but Dean can only spread himself so thin and they're not kids anymore. Castiel doesn't want to be a kid, not to Dean, and the more he can do to prevent that the better.
Dean's nineteen and he still ruffles Castiel's hair like he does Sam's and it's come to the point where it is nothing but annoying. In addition to being a teenager there's puberty with its horrors and his temper frays so easily he wonders how Dean handled it in the beginning. They fight where they haven't before, and it's not the same way Sam fight with Dean, not to Castiel in any case. Sam doesn't stay out too long with Jess to make him jealous, not like how Castiel starts seeing Balthazar again. It doesn't work beyond Dean lecturing him on smarmy Brits with bad intentions (he brings up Crowley, which makes Castiel want to hit something, because he remember that summer and it had been awful; jealousy had been dripping like acid in his stomach). It's better than nothing but Castiel's skin itches whenever he's around Dean now, and that feeling he remember from when he was twelve, almost thirteen, is so much more now. Amplified.
He dreams dirty dreams that make him unable to look Dean in the eye without blushing, but that's nothing terribly new. It's become second nature to hide his untimely erections as he watches Dean wash his car, or make them dinner, or hell, even just existing at some times. It's driving him mad but there's nothing he can do about it yet, not until he figures out how to make Dean see and make him understand.
After the novelty of Jess has worn off somewhat, Sam catches on, as he always does in the end. If he's surprised Castiel haven't grown out of his crush on his older brother, he doesn't show it, simply dives head-first into his mission of Castiel's and Dean's Happiness. According to Sam there would be nothing better than to have his best friend be Dean's boyfriend, because Dean has never had a decent boyfriend or girlfriend, ever. Castiel is horrified when Sam drags Jess into it though, tried to put his foot down, but Jess is an enamored with the idea of Dean and Castiel as Sam, if not more.
"You should kiss him!", she says one day, when the three of them are hanging out in Sam's room. She's sitting on the floor next to Castiel with Sam's head in her lap, twirling a curl around her finger and popping a pink gum. Castiel's cheeks heat at the thought, because he knows proper kissing now (thank you, Balthazar, you have served your purpose; let's be friends) and imagining doing it with Dean does all kinds of stupid things to his body and mind. Sam makes a disgusted noise before agreeing. "Yeah man, that does state your intentions pretty clearly," he says, titling his head to look up at Castiel's doubting expression. "That and he'd sort of have to accept you're not a kid anymore. With me he just threw a box of condoms at me and told me he'd kill me if I got anyone pregnant."
He seems to suddenly remember Jess is there and makes a strangled noise of horror, snapping around to watch her red face with wide eyes. Castiel can't help it, he bursts out laughing so hard he has to double over and feels tears in the corner of his eyes at the sight of the two of them trying to pretend that never happened. After a while, they join him but a few minutes in there's a knock on the door. Sam gasps out a "Come in!" and Dean's poking his head inside.
"Just checking to see you guys are alive," he says, bemused. He's still in his work-clothes, covered in grease and sweat, and it makes Castiel's mouth go dry. He's not laughing anymore, only trying to catch his breath and stop staring at Dean's crotch. Jess' giggling beside him but Sam doesn't seem to have noticed anything. "Dad's gonna be home for dinner. I'm just gonna clean up and get started on food. You staying, Cas, Jess?"
Jess pulls her hair behind her ear and smiles in apology, cheeks a bit red because she isn't immune to Dean in greasy t-shirts and torn jeans either, much to Sam's annoyance. "Sorry, no, I'm gonna eat at home; promised mom." Dean nodded and looked over to Castiel expectantly.
"I'm staying," he says, smiling shyly and enjoying the flutter in his stomach when Dean returns it with his own brand of broad grin. "Okay you guys, keep it down or someone will call the police," he says before leaving, shutting the door with a silent click. Castiel eyes it wistfully, unable to stop the sigh. Sam snorts but Jess is smiling at him fondly.
"You should offer to help him with dinner," she suggests. "Tell him Sam kicked you out so he could selfishly say good bye to me."
"Hey!", Sam sounds indigent. "Why am I always the bad guy, huh?" Jess smiles down at him innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Castiel grins, but takes a moment to consider it. There's the sound of the bathroom door opening a closing and he's momentarily distracted by Dean undressing and getting in the shower naked, recalling the many wars with water-guns they'd had over the summers together with Sam and Gabriel and sometimes a somewhat unwilling John. Dean in swimming trunks, bare-chested and glistering wet in the sun, just did things to Castiel and his higher brain functions. Jess cleared her throat. "Well?"
Glancing at his friends Castiel took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, yes I'll do that."
"Good! You gotta start somewhere," Jess says, grinning. "Gotta work your way up to that kiss! Showing responsibility and doing stuff with him is good, definitely gonna win you some plus points."
Castiel smiled, unsure but hopeful. "Really?" Sam snorts but agrees, and suddenly Castiel can't wait for Dean to be done with the shower (he's distracted again because – wet Dean) and go down to the kitchen.
Forty minutes later (because Dean likes to take long, hot showers after work; Castiel is not creepy for knowing this, he's just observant. Very observant. When it comes to Dean), Dean's dressed and ready, making his way down the stairs and Castiel almost flies through Sam's bedroom door, causing Dean to look up in startled surprise as the door bangs close behind him. Jess and Sam giggles behind it, and Castiel flushed.
"Um," he begins, fidgeting, "Can I help you with dinner?"
Dean rolled his eyes. "They kick you out?" Castiel nodded. In response, Dean raises his voice to shout at his brother to be heard, "SAM! No funny business!", before gesturing for Castiel to join him on his way down. Castiel fumbles to follow, feeling awkward and clumsy, but he's taller now and not as small and Dean's smiling at him in gratitude.
"Sorry he kicked you out but it's great with some help," he explains, opening the fridge and directing Castiel to the cupboards. "I think we have enough to make some pizza, what do you say?"
Castiel grins, face still slightly hot but his nerves settling at the easy company Dean always offers. "It's ok, and yes. One can only say yes to pizza." It gets him the wished nod of approval and they start putting together dough, slicing toppings, and mixing sauce. It's easy and Dean strikes up a conversation about school which gets Castiel talking, something he has trouble with around Dean at times but which feels easy like this, and Dean's praising his grades and asking about his friends (there aren't that many beyond Sam and Jess; just Balthazar, Jo and Ash). It's only as they sit by the table waiting for the pizza to cook in the oven – Dean with a beer in his hand and Castiel with a coke – that he realizes Dean always does this. He's always steering the conversations, prodding, much like mom and sometimes father.
He doesn't like that he does it with Castiel. Determined, despite his innate shyness and how generally awkward he is with all things social, Castiel pushes him with questions of his own. About his work and his colleagues and boss, what he's gonna do later, what his weekend plans are, and Dean thankfully rolls with it, slightly bemused but Castiel likes to think he was pleased as well.
John comes home just as they're taking the pizzas out of the oven, and Dean calls Sam and Jess down. Jess bids them all good bye, winking at Castiel, and they settle down. John's exhausted, and lets Sam dominate the conversation as is his wont, but Castiel manages to catch Dean's attention all for himself in between and it's immensely satisfying. He leaves that night feeling light and happy, falling asleep with thoughts of Dean and his laugh, his mouth and wet chest and tight jeans.
The first time Castiel kisses Dean, he's almost sixteen and Dean's almost twenty. He's drunk and Sam's passed out in the Impala's backseat; they'd nicked one John's many bottles of whiskey and taken their bikes to the woods to settle down and get drunk for the first time. Castiel had wanted it because Gabriel had ended his latest phone call with ominous promises for his next visit, and Sam had eagerly joined him. They'd ended up staying out too late, and for a while Sam had hardly been able to move and Castiel had panicked and called Dean. He doesn't remember how that conversation had went, but by the time Dean arrived, he'd managed to shake some life into Sam and they'd dragged him into the car together.
Standing swaying on his feet outside, he'd been leaning against Dean who'd been trying to push him into the front seat, tense with anger. Castiel didn't like it when Dean was angry, he said so, and asked him how he could make him un-angry? Dean had snorted and called him an idiot, voice sharp through Castiel's haze and he'd frowned; narrowing his eyes and looking up at Dean's face which had been so close and he'd smelled so good and his lips were moving, he was saying something about cooperating and getting into the damned car, you're heavy man, but Castiel was too distracted.
He'd just stood on his tip-toes and pressed his lips against Dean's, sighing in content at the contact – at last – and for a moment he was in heaven with Dean all around him; arms wrapped around him to keep his steady and lips soft beneath his own. Suddenly he was being violently manhandled into the car and the door slammed forcefully enough to make Sam groan, and everything was spinning, and Castiel's lips tasted of Dean and his nose was full of his scent, and suddenly Dean was beside him. Tense, angry lines was all Castiel could see and somewhere, that hurt, but he was too far gone now. Dean drove them home, left Castiel to his mom's tender mercies, and dragged Sam home with him.
Castiel would wake up the next morning feeling a mix of horror, despair and mortification. He was glad to be grounded, glad to be away from Dean, because he couldn't stand the thought of looking at him and have it confirmed that he'd fucked up, he'd broken something. He just couldn't.
It was a week before he saw him again, because it was Castiel's mom that drove him and Sam to school during that time, but one day Dean's there to pick them up and the ride is silent and uncomfortable and Castiel wants to crawl into his own skin or just jump out of the car. Castiel doesn't know what to do, and Sam's an awkward presence who's unwanted by Dean at the moment but very much wanted by Castiel. Castiel doesn't want to talk, and Dean doesn't want to talk around Sam. So clinging to Sam, it is.
It's not until Sam drags Castiel to Dean's room and pushes him inside, closing the door with a loud bang, that he's forced to confront him.
Dean had been lying on his bed, reading, but is now sitting up and putting his book away. "Not hiding anymore, feather-boy?" he says with an unreadable expression. Castiel swallows; his mouth is dry and there's a lump in his throat, his stomach is rolling and he's fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. He doesn't know what to say, so simply stares in silence. A moment passes and Dean sighs, getting up to sit on the old chair and gesturing for Castiel to take his seat on the bed. He swallows but goes to follow, eying Dean warily.
"You're just fifteen, Cas," Dean begins and Castiel interrupts with an "Almost sixteen!" and blushes at the look he receives. "The fact remains that you're the same age as my little brother."
Castiel hears it for the rejection it is and lowers his head, blinking back tears. He shakes his head, angry. "So what? I'm not that much younger, and I'm not a kid anymore." He looks up and glares at Dean, who looks exasperated but amused, if a little surprised. Castiel takes a steadying breath; he's mad because he's got all these feelings that he doesn't know what to do with, and the last week has been hell, and now Dean is trying to let him down gently? No. He looks directly into Dean's (beautiful, amazing) green eyes. "I really like you."
There, he'd said it. It's like someone's letting out the air of a balloon and he deflates, blushing darker and looking away. There's a moment of silence before Dean groans and drags a hand over his face as Castiel glances up at him through his lashes. There's a hint of red over Dean's cheeks and nose and Castiel feel a spike of something. Arousal, hope, surprise.
"This is crazy," Dean says with defeated despair, mostly to himself. "I can't believe I'm going to say this. It's all your fault."
Castiel blinks, confused, before Dean sighs and continues. "Fine. We'll give this," he makes a vague gesture between them, "A try. But not until you're sixteen, okay?" Castile can only nod, too busy letting that sink in. After a few breaths he's smiling so hard his face might split, and Dean's blushing, and everything is perfect.
"Okay," he says, eager and breathless. "Okay, yes, oh my god, yes."
He doesn't realize he's almost vibrating where he's sitting until Dean is leaning over to rest his hands on his shoulders, steadying. He's smiling at him fondly, eying him. "Three months, yeah? Three months." Castiel is still smiling his stupid, wide smile and Dean shakes his head. He's leaning in to place a soft kiss on Castiel's lips and it's all Castiel can do not to melt or faint right there on the spot. Dean's releasing him too soon to turn to the door and shout. "I know you're listening Sammy! You're a little creep and I'm not making you garlic bread tonight! Now come and fetch Cas before he breaks!"
The door opens to reveal a sheepish looking Sam, who gives Castiel a thumbs up before turning to Dean. "Jerk! You totally owe me! Now c'mon Cas, we gotta call Jess, I promised!"
"Teenagers. Why did I agree to this?" Dean mutters, but sends Castiel a reassuring smile when that makes him snap to attention and had his eyes widen in fear. Sniggering, Sam dragged him outside and closed the door as Castiel just sort of waved good bye, smiling and sighing happily. It's enough to make Sam do gagging noises but it soon turns to giggles.
"Just wait until Gabe finds out!" Sam yells at the door, laughing hard at the crash and string of curses that follows. Castiel's still smiling, thinking that not even the Wrath of Gabriel can bring him down from the cloud he's chilling at right now.
It's a long fucking three months, and Castiel thinks he lost his mind somewhere along the first week of waiting. Dean's still around a lot, only now Castiel's allowed to touch. Well, touch more. There's been no more kisses though, but Dean lets him snuggle close when they're watching a movie or hug him hello and good bye. Sam's been walking around smug, not toning it down one bit, and Jess' right there with him; proud of her boyfriend's move and Castiel's guts. John doesn't comment, beyond a raised brow and a hard stare Dean's way that had him bristling on his behalf. As if Dean would hurt him.
His mom's delighted, she loves Dean and doesn't think there's anyone better for him and Castiel agrees, much to Dean's embarrassment. Not even Adam bats an eye and simply settles in Dean's lap and wraps his arms around Castiel's free one, declaring himself the best man of the wedding. Gabriel, however, is a looming cloud of overbearing big brother that Dean handles as only another overbearing big brother could. Castiel's father has no comment beyond an extremely mortifying "Use protection". All in all, it's gone over better than Castiel could have hoped. The only thing making him want to bang his head against the wall repeatedly is the enforced timeframe. Three fucking months.
He's going to die of sexual frustration. Death by UST is what his tombstone will say. Or, rather, Death by Dean, because Dean is an assbutt and doesn't seem as bothered by it at all. The jerk even seems content.
Three fucking months.
The third time they kiss Castiel is sixteen and it's six-thirty in the morning on a Thursday and Dean's standing in the door, taken completely by surprise on his way out to work. Castiel had gotten up extra early because he knew Dean had the early shift today, and today was his birthday, and he'd rushed over and waited for five minutes before the door opened and Castiel threw himself at Dean.
It's perfect. He's hanging onto Dean with his arms around his neck and Dean's hands are on his hips, steadying him. There's stubble and Dean's lips had been slack with surprise before they're soft and sure and wet and warm against Castiel's own. He swipes his tongue over them and groans when Dean lets him in, pulling himself closer. Dean's hands flex against his hips and it is bliss; he tastes like coffee and blueberry muffin. He's warm and solid and Castiel can't believe he made him wait three months for this, that was so utterly cruel and they had so much to make up for. He doesn't notice he's grinding against Dean, moaning and panting and making wet, sucking noises, unless Dean breaks away and stills him.
Chuckling, Dean presses a closed-lipped kiss against his mouth when he whines at the loss of contact. "I totally should have seen this coming. You're crazy, Castiel Milton. Fucking crazy,"
Flushed and still tingling all over, Castiel smiles. He can't think about being shy right now. "You like it."
Eying him like he wants to push him up against the nearest flat surface and continue what they were doing (yes please!), Dean sighs. "Yeah, but I'm an idiot." Castiel tried to object but Dean's kissing him again and that's much better. He's so good at this, his lips sucking and tongue caressing slow and deep. There's teeth and Castiel didn't know you could do that, didn't know it would make his cock jump against Dean's hip but it does, and he's moaning loud and unrestrained.
Dean pulls back and gently eases him away, ignoring Castiel's attempts to re-capture his mouth and sink into him completely. "Happy birthday Cas," he says instead, smiling. The hands on his hips move up to cup his face and rough thumbs are caressing his cheekbones. "I gotta go to work. Sam should be up in half an hour. Your mom's taking you today, right? Want me to pick you guys up?"
Castiel nods eagerly, though still mesmerized by Dean's lips. "Yes please," he says, imagining Dean sweeping him up into another scorching kiss before driving them off in the Impala to somewhere more private. He conveniently forgets about Sam and indulges in some well-earned daydreaming instead. Dean laughs, nudging him away to close and lock the door, steering him off the porch.
"Better go back and get your things ready. Sam'll bring your lunches when he comes over later. I made something special for today," Dean says, grinning as he's guiding Castiel along with a hand to his smaller back. Castiel feels warm all over from the kissing, and his cock is killing him, but everything softens just a bit at his words. As if this day couldn't get any better.
"This means we're dating, right?" Castiel blurts out because he's still got a hard time believing this is all happening. Dean startles and raises a brow.
"If you mean that I'll be ripping the heads off of anyone else trying to do what I just did to you, then yes," he says and Castiel is grinning, nudging him with his elbow. "Like anyone's going to compare." It's worth stroking Dean's ego in the long run, if only because Castiel knows it's more of a front than anything else, as is confirmed by the blush spreading across Dean's cheeks. But he's grinning too, so it's all good.
"Brat," he says fondly, combing a hand through his hair and tugging at the strands at the base of his neck. A quick peck and a determined shove, Dean is moving over to his car. "Now scram. See you later."
Castiel sighs happily and waves before making his way home across the street, blushing furiously at his mom's pointed stare when he greets her in the kitchen where she sits wrapped up in a fluffy robe, hands around a steaming cup of coffee.
"Good morning," she says with a knowing smile and Castiel can only agree.
"Yes, yes it is. The best."