Double Tap!

More bunnies are reduced to the consistency of chunky salsa.

Granted, that usually applies to zombies, but I'm pretty sure these rodents are just as eager to feast upon my brain.

Yep, two one-shots for the price of one. The bunnies are breeding faster than I can take them out. Anyone got a Gatling gun I can borrow? Or maybe a tank?

This is dedicated to Gabriel Blessing, the genius behind "In Flight" and "Hill of Swords", the latter of which is the basis for this.


Emiya Shirou blinked as he took in his surroundings. He was reclined on a makeshift throne of what seemed to be smashed furniture. What hadn't been destroyed by his entrance appeared to be fairly high quality.

He was also getting the biggest case of déjà vu he'd ever had.

"Oh, my aching pommel…What the hell was that?"

And that was a voice he hadn't heard in an eternity.

"Derflinger?"

"Partner?"

Shirou dug through the smashed wood and upholstery and extracted a sheathed sword.

"Well I'll be damned. Long time no see, Partner," the talking sword greeted him. "Where are we?"

Shirou shrugged. The room did look very familiar. He might have been able to more easily recognize it if it wasn't half destroyed.

"Got me. Last thing I remember, Gilgamesh was picking another fight with me while I was trying to get ready for an evening with Saber." Granted, the adult King of Heroes on the Throne was far easier to get along with than the teenage version Shirou had battled during his youth (apparently that youth potion of his affected his maturity level as much as his physical age), but the guy was still an arrogant prick that didn't like to accept that a "faker" could fight him on even footing.

Derflinger chuckled. "So you finally found that girl of yours, huh? Good for you, Partner."

Shirou smiled. "How's Louise?"

"Lively as ever, last I saw. And nearly as famous as you were. Wouldn't surprise me if you run into her on the Throne of Heroes eventually."

Shirou smiled. It was good to hear that the adorable little mage that had summoned him so long ago had grown so much.

Wait…Summoned?

Shirou looked around again, the nagging sense of familiarity starting to make much more sense. Things started to click into place.

"Derflinger…I think I might know where we are…"

And then a door slammed open, admitting a petite, black-haired young woman wearing a red sweater, short skirt, and thigh-length stockings.

"Scratch that. I know exactly where we are…"

It looked like Shirou would be able to make good on that declaration he had made years ago after all. And Louise and Siesta weren't around to stop him this time.

Tohsaka Rin gulped as her Servant started chuckling maliciously.

-After much adventure, comedy, sexy times, and epic displays of GAR-

Emiya Shirou, the Servant Archer, the King of Swords, the Elf Bane, the Endless Armory, and a half dozen other titles that he never really cared about or wanted, held the now purified Grail aloft as his Master, sentient Noble Phantasm, parallel dimension younger self, and parallel dimension alternate of his lover watched on.

The Holy Grail accepted his wish and emitted a blinding light as it granted it.

A male figure appeared before him, looking around in confusion. Its eyes fell on Archer and a look of pure fear crossed its face.

Shirou took a moment to savor that terrified expression.

Then he kicked the Root of the World square in the balls.


It had to be done. I couldn't help it. This particular plot bunny has been chewing away since the first time I read "Hill of Swords".

I'm sure that even in this short one-shot, I've made half a dozen mistakes that the TYPE-Lunatics will tear me apart over… But I had fun writing it, so I don't give a damn.

I wonder if Gabriel Blessing would be willing to take this and expand it into a full story? I'd definitely read it.