Title: Twitter the Torchwood Way

Author: iantojjackh

Rating: PG for mild adult themes

Characters: The whole team

Summary: The rift is quiet and the teams takes to Twitter to alleviate the boredom and Ianto is not amused by the first topic of conversation

Spoilers: None

Warnings: None. Just typical team dynamic stuff

Notes: This started as a comment-fic fill (Jack's first tweet) and then expanded it to a full out banter with some encouragement when the other twitter length fics were posted. Yes, all responses fit the 140 character limit. Also, my therapist (for PT) thinks I'm insane since he saw me writing the end of this at my appointment tonight. I know the at sign is missing before the handles but that is issue. Sorry


Twitter the Torchwood Way

Jack Harkness- CaptnSexy

coffeejones Ianto where's my coffee? What's taking you so long? How does this thing work? I want to spank you. Wait! Can everyone see this?

Owen Harper- TheBigO

CaptnSexy Yes, we can all see it. Thanks for vision of coffeejones bent over your desk with his arse in the air.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

I work with a bunch of children. Yes, I'm looking at you, CaptnSexy and TheBigO. We all know what a nice arse CoffeeJones has.

Jack Harkness- CaptnSexy

Finally someone has an appreciation for what a fine piece of art it is. Thank you SweetG

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

CaptnSexy You should encourage him to wear tight jeans more often. Best arse of the universe. CaptnSexy you are so lucky to own that arse.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

That last comment wasn't me. Jack? What did you do? CaptnSexy. Toshie, did you teach Jack to tweet from my account?

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

SweetG wasn't me. I think CoffeeJones set him up with admin control over our accounts in case of emergencies.

Ianto Jones- CoffeeJones

CaptnSexy is no longer available to tweet. He knows the consequences should he send one more message.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

CoffeeJones what did you do to him? I've never seen Jack sulk so much before.

Ianto Jones- CoffeeJones

SweetG that is between me and him. I put it in terms only CaptnSexy could understand.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

CaptnSexy should change his name to IantosBitch? He looks like a sad puppy who had his bone taken away. He needs a scratch behind the ear.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

CaptnSexy looks so sad. I just want to give him a hug.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

CoffeeJones Are you in the archives? If you are Jack is headed your way. Be nice to him.

Ianto Jones- CoffeeJones

SweetG I hear him coming. Be nice? After what he said? He's luckkjkjkhihjhjhjbjbjbjbjbhb hbvhbhbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbjbj bjbjbjbjbjbhjjhuuuhhyhh

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

CoffeeJones Ianto? Ianto, is everything okay?

Owen Harper- TheBigO

The minute I hear any screaming I'm out of here.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

Maybe someone should check on them.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

Are you daft, SweetG? You know what the two of them are like when they get in these moods.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

Owen's right. I kind of miss The old Ianto. The way he was before he and Jack got serious.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

You know it's bloody unfair. I get in trouble for shagging during working hours. Those two do it and it's a normal day.

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

But they are both happy. Better that they are happy than miserable.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

Happy suits both of them.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

Yes, because they are both bastards when they are miserable.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

Is that a bit of jealously, I hear TheBigO?

Owen Harper- TheBigO

Yes, because it's been my life's dream to climb the Torchwood ladder by climbing the boss' ladder.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

You know it's not like that with them TheBigO. Not for the last two years at least.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

True love and all that bullocks. How could I forget?

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

I think it's kind of sweet.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

You would. It's such a woman thing. SweetG & Toshie

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

You are such a prat TheBigO

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

You are such a prat TheBigO

JonHar- IantoJack

We agree. You are a prat TheBigO

Owen Harper- TheBigO

We finished that conversation two hours ago. Joint account, really?

JonHar- IantoJack

TheBigO Your point? Two hours isn't a long time.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

IantoJack I don't want to fathom what you two were doing for two hours. I was talking about the joint account. (1/2)

Owen Harper- TheBigO

Tea-boy must be in a really good mood for him to let you tweet again. Spare the details since you both are still in the archives. (2/2)

JonHar- IantoJack

TheBigO he promised to behave. Jack just got a nice taste of what he will be missing if he says the wrong thing.

Owen Harper- TheBigO

Still stand by the idea that Jack's new name should be IantosBitch. You are the only one who knows how to control him.

JonHar- IantoJack

TheBigO Just one of my many many skills. We've got some more filing to do.

Toshiko Sato- Toshie

*groan*

Gwen Cooper- SweetG

*double groan*

Owen Harper- TheBigO

*triple groan*