Summary: Izaya has always loved Shizuo. But he doesn't want anyone to hurt his love so he acts like he hates his beloved monster of Ikebukuro. But now Izaya is dying inside from his secret. Day by day, Izaya is slowly slipping away from this world. Can Shizuo realize the flea's feelings in time or is Izaya doomed to live forever dead inside?

So the voice began...

Chapter Rating: M

A/N: So this is my first Shizaya fic. I'm really excited and hope I don't screw this up. Please enjoy! This is the first chapter of "Is This the End?"

This is Celty typing

"This is Izaya's inner demon"

Chapter 1

Izaya sat in a booth at Russian Sushi. He had a plate of his beloved fatty tuna on the table but he had barely eaten any of it. His mind was elsewhere; where it almost always was actually. It was on Shizu-chan. The only time he ever felt alive was when Shizu-chan was chasing him. Otherwise he felt like he was dead or dying. Izaya stood and left Russian Sushi. It looked like it was going to rain. He was almost out of Ikebukuro when he heard the heart pounding sound

"IIIIZZZZAAAAYYYYYAAAAA!" It was Shizu-chan. Izaya turned to look at the man who was always dressed as a bartender. Izaya would never admit it to any living being but he loved the bartender outfit that Shizu-chan wore. Izaya ducked and dodged the vending machine that Shizu-chan threw.

"Hello Shizu-chan! Nice day isn't it?" Izaya asked. It wasn't a nice day actually, the sky was heavy with rainclouds and it looked like it could start raining any second.

"You damn flea. Haven't I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro?" Shizuo shouted grabbing a stop sign and running towards Izaya. The sky chose that moment to start pouring.

"Ah, it's raining. Well see you Shizu-chan!" Izaya called before turning and running down an alley. Shizuo gave chase, of course. Izaya was running around a corner when his foot slipped on the wet concrete and he when crashing into a wall where he fell to the ground stunned. Shizuo, who had been right behind him came to a halt and lifted Izaya off the ground by his neck. Izaya's feet could barely touch the ground and Shizuo's hand was nearly crushing his windpipe.

"Looks like you caught me Shizuo." Izaya choked out.

"Yeah, looks like I did Flea. Wait, did you just call me by my real name?" Shizuo said shocked. Izaya cursed himself. He had slipped up now.

"Maybe I did Shizu-chan. Maybe I didn't. What does it matter? You're gonna kill me now anyway." Izaya wheezed as Shizu-chan's grip tightened slightly.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I can think of many things to do with you that are worse than death." Shizu-chan said smirking evilly.

"So the caveman can think! I'm shocked." Izaya said. He wanted it to be over. He wanted the pain to end. He wanted to die because he was already almost there. Inside at least.

"Hey there's the informant!" Came a call. Both Izaya and Shizuo looked to see a group of men stalking down the alley.

'Shit.' Izaya thought. This day couldn't get any worse.

"If you could be so kind as to let me down Shizuo." Izaya said using Shizuo's real name.

"Nah, I think you're about to get what you deserve." Shizuo said grinning. Izaya paled, he was in deep shit now.


Izaya felt like shit. He ached all over. Especially in his ass. The protozoan had left him at the hands of the gang who had happened on them in the alley. Now he lay in said alley barely conscious and completely naked. A heavy rain poured down on his body that was slowly going cold. He was barely aware of the footsteps approaching him or the gasp of said protozoan at the sight of the informant. Izaya felt himself be wrapped in something and lifted from his spot on the ground. He wasn't aware of anything else because at that moment he passed out.


Shizuo felt sick. He had found the Flea in the alley where he had left him with those punks laying in a puddle of semen and blood. The Flea had definitely been raped; a mixture of blood and semen had been trickling out of his ass. Shizuo had wrapped him up in an old tarp that had been in the alley. Izaya had moaned when Shizuo had lifted him up but hadn't made a sound since. Now Shizuo sat in Shinra's living room with Celty beside him. Shinra was in the other room with Izaya. He had been in there for a while now and it was making Shizuo worry.

'Why did I save the Flea? I should have left him in that alley. But it was pouring and he would have died. But I want him dead. Do I?" Shizuo thought. The door to the other room opened and Shinra came out before closing it again behind him.

"Good news. He's awake. Bad news is that he's not talking coherently. It's like he's stuck in the past. You should go home Shizuo. You've got work in the morning and it's already one o'clock in the morning." Shinra said. Shizuo nodded

"Keep me updated on his condition." He said

Why do you care? I thought you hated him. Celty typed and showed it to Shizuo. Shizuo looked down at his feet.

"Because I'm the reason they were able to do this to him." Shizuo said before leaving the two of them.


*A few days later*

Izaya felt cold even though he was wrapped up in several layers of blankets. His mind kept replaying Shizaya leaving him with those men and the events that had happened after that.

"Oh Izaya, did you expect anything less. He hates you and you should hate him too. Look what he did to you. He's the reason this happened to you." A voice said in Izaya's head. Izaya shook his head violently

"No, no, no. I love him. I won't listen to you." He muttered.

"Who do you love Izaya?" Asked Shizuo. At the sound of his voice Izaya went stone still. He turned to look at Shizu-chan.

"Hm? Who do you love?" Shizuo asked again.

"No one." Izaya said, "I hate everyone; even my precious humans now."

"Oh…" Shizu-chan said but Izaya could tell that Shizuo didn't believe him.

"What do you want? To brag; have you told everyone? That the great Izaya Orihara was raped?" Izaya snapped.

"I came to make sure you were okay. I feel bad about what happened." Shizuo said, "But I can tell you're just fine." He added angrily. Izaya felt his heart do a funny fluttery thing before sinking. Shizuo had cared.

"He's lying! He doesn't care. He's the reason you're like this. He's the monster. He's a protozoan. He doesn't like you and you shouldn't love him. He doesn't deserve you. He's a…" The voice said

"SHUT UP!" Izaya yelled cutting the voice off and clutching his head.

"Izaya?!" Shinra exclaimed bursting into the room. Izaya was still clutching his head but he was now muttering so softly that no one could hear him.

"I didn't say anything. He just yelled it out of nowhere." Shizuo said worried.

"I think you'd better go Shizuo." Shinra said

"Yeah. I need a smoke." Shizuo replied leaving the room.

'Don't go!' Izaya screamed in his mind as he watched helplessly as Shizuo left. He felt another piece of his heart break off and die; it was almost completely dead. Soon he'd have no feelings left to feel and the demons would have won. Then it would be too late. The demonic voice in his head just laughed.


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