Devil: Here is my first Fullmetal Alchemist and Naruto crossover, be nice to me!

Ed: If this story is boring, too embarrassing for me, or just plain annoys me, I'm going to make sure that you never write another story again.

Devil: AHH! *hides under a couch* DON'T KILL ME!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FMA OR NARUTO, IF I DID, THEY WOULD BOTH BE VERY SUCKISH AND NO ONE WOULD WANT TO READ OR WATCH THEM.


Fullmetal Jutstu

Chapter One: Fullmetal in the Land of Fire

"Grrrr!" a certain alchemist growled. "Why can't I find a city or some place that shows civilization!" the alchemist kicked a stone and continued to walk down the dark forest path.

Edward Elric wasn't in a very good mood, he had been sent on a trip to help out a village called Konoha. The Colonel had told Ed that Alphonse couldn't come and that he had to keep his alchemy a secret. He was only allowed to use it if he absolutely needed to, which meant that only if the village was being attacked or if someone was in danger. Ed didn't like the mission at all, he read in the job description that the village didn't know what alchemy was, they used something much different. They had something called 'chakra' instead, and just like alchemists had to use transmutation circles, they had to use hand-signs. Ed had read all he could on the strange new country, and since there wasn't much to read, he barely knew anything. All he knew what that they used something called 'jutstu' instead of alchemy and hand-signs instead of transmutation circles, and instead of alchemists, they had shinobi. Ed had sailed on a ship to get passed the sea that separated Ameistris from this new country, he didn't do so well considering his automail didn't do good around water. He just mostly stayed in the deck room that he was given, and when he did leave his room, he stayed well away from the edge of the ship.

When the ship boated into the docking area, Ed jumped off the boat before it was even tied down (quite literally) and got as far away from the water as he could without attracting attention. He got a map from a store in the town nearby and looked for a way to get to the Land of Fire. It turns out that the village he was suppose to get to had many names, Konoha, Leaf Village, The Village Hidden in The Leaves, Land of Fire. It was really confusing Ed on which name was the real one, he had managed to find his way into the Land of Fire area, but he could find out how to get to the village he was suppose to be at. And now it was making him angry, he had been surrounded by trees for at least three to four days, and Ed was starting to lose his patience.

"Where the hell am I suppose to find a village if I can't even find a path!" Ed yelled out loud, he was also annoyed that the Colonel wasn't here for him to bother.

As Ed continued through the trees, he suddenly came to a path, he jumped for glee and looked both ways to find out which way would lead him to a village. He shrugged and chose right, he figured that he would find someone on the road and ask them where a village is. As he walked down the path, he began to get hungry, he had eaten all of his food and he had barely any water left. He looked both ways, listened to the wind, and listened to the earth before walking to the side of the road and grabbing some leaves and transmuting them into something edible. (I'm not sure that's possible but I'm not having Ed walk onto a camp site!)

"Well, it's not much, but at least I got something to eat." Ed continued to walk and soon he spotted an old-fashioned wagon heading in the opposite direction. He smirked and walked towards them, there was a man and a woman, he could hear two squealing children inside the wagon. The woman spotted him and waved.

"Why hello, are you a traveler?" Ed didn't want to speak about his mission to strangers.

"Yep, but it seems that I've lost my way and can't find the village called Konoha, can you help me by pointing me in the right direction?" the man nodded.

"Sure thing, we just came from the Leaf Village, just stay on this path and you'll be at the Village gate." Ed thanked the family and continued to walk, but thanks to his brilliant hearing, he heard the family talking as he passed their wagon.

"Is he crazy? Who wears black clothing on a hot day?" the woman said.

"I don't know, kids are strange these days." the man said.

"Do you think he has a family back in the village? He looks to be about ten to twelve years old, he's too young to be traveling on his own." the woman said.

"Not to mention his size, he's too small to be on his own." Ed's eye twitched at the word 'small' but he kept his mouth shut.


After about ten to fifteen minutes, Ed could see something in the distance, it looked huge, it wall too tall to be a regular gate. Ed looked closer and saw a strange symbol that looked like a leaf above the gate, he finally made it to Konoha. Ed picked up his pace and as he got closer, he realized just how big the gate really was, it was probably at least a hundred feet tall, maybe more. Ed examined the gate before passing through, he noticed from the corner of his eye the two men watching him. They seemed to be looking somewhere else, but Ed knew that they were looking at him, he continued to walk and as he walked into the village, he gaped at how amazing the place was. Ed looked around and smirked at the strange clothes they wore, they way they built their houses, and that they had no sort of engineering transportation.

"I have to say, it's weird, but amazing at the same time." Ed murmured under his breath. Ed then shook his head as he remembered the reason he was in this village in the first place. "Now if I was the leader of this village, where would I live?"

He looked around until he noticed the huge building near the mountain, Ed noted that the mountain was probably the most strangest things in this village. There were four faces carved into the mountain side, they all appeared to me males. Ed guessed that they were the previous leaders before the one in charge now. He looked at the building again and a huge smirk spread across his face as he made his way towards the building.

"Now that looks like a place for a leader." Ed realized that as he made his way towards the building, people began staring at him. He guessed that it was either because of his clothes, he was alone, or because of his size.

"Great, looks like even here people judge people based on their size." Ed growled.

When he finally made it to the building, he began climbing the stairs up towards the top of the strange house. When Ed reached the top landing, he walked inside the building, only to run into a woman with dark brown hair, holding a clipboard. She collected herself and looked up to see who she had bumped into.

"Am I just imagining things?" she asks out loud. "I could of sworn that I bumped into someone." Ed gave a low growl.

"Try looking down lady." she looked down at a fuming Ed, he only came up to about her neck, how the hell could she have missed him.

"I'm sorry, are you lost honey?" she asked kindly. Like how a woman would speak to a scared child, but that just made Ed want to punch her.

"I'm seventeen lady!" Ed snapped. The woman jumped in surprise.

"But you're so-" she began. Ed began twitching and a dark aura began to float around him.

"If you say small, I'll give you nightmares that will last you weeks..." Ed said darkly. The woman closed her mouth and stepped back.

"Who are you? Why are you in the Hokage's building?" Ed snorted.

/So that's what they call their leader? Pretty weird if you ask me./ Ed thought.

"My name is Edw-" Ed paused, he remembered what Mustang had said.

-Flashback-

"Oh and Fullmetal," Roy held up his hand before Ed could leave. "I have to ask you not to tell anyone your real name until you find the right time to tell them. I don't want anyone knowing that you're in a strange land, especially the Homunculis." Ed looked at Mustang strangely.

"Then what am I suppose to call myself? Am I suppose to think up a cover name by myself? I'm find with just calling myself Edward Elric thank you!" Ed growled.

"No, your cover name will be Edmond Emic," Roy said. "It's close to your real name and you can still call yourself Ed." Ed glared at the Colonel.

"You've got to be kidding me, Emic, seriously! Is that the best you can come up with you damn bastard?!" when Roy shook his head, Ed growled and glared even harder at the Colonel.

"Glaring at me isn't going to change my mind about your cover name Fullmetal, now go pack, you leave first thing tomorrow morning." Ed cursed the bastard several times before he left for the hotel so he could pack.

-End of Flashback-

"Are you okay?" the woman asked. Ed snapped out of his day-flash and looked at the brown haired woman.

"Yeah, I just space out a lot, my name's Edmond Emic, I was assigned to come here by that bastard Colonel Roy Mustang." the woman's eyes widened.

"Are you from that new found country Ameistris?" the woman asked.

"Yeah, I'm searching for the leader of this village so I can get the full details of my assignment, the Military didn't have that much info on your country except that you use jutstus, hand-signs, and have a special energy called chakra. So I'm pretty much empty on info about your country." the woman smiled.

"Come with me, I'll show you to Lady Hokage's office." she turned around and walked off, Ed followed after her, not wanting to get lost in the building.

"So what's your name?" Ed asked after a minute.

"Shizune, I work for Lady Hokage, I make sure that she gets her paperwork done." Ed burst out laughing and Shizuna looked at him. "What's so funny?" Ed grabbed his stomach and looked at Shizune.

"Nothing, it's just that you and this Hokage person remind me of two others I know." Ed stood up and sighed. "The bastard who assigned me to this mission, Colonel Roy Mustang doesn't like doing his paperwork either, but Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye makes sure that he does it all." Shizune smiled and laughed a little.

"And how does she do that?" Ed smirked.

"By pointing a gun at him," Ed grinned at the thought. "She wouldn't really shoot him, but the bastard doesn't know that." Shizune looked a bit confused, but he didn't question it.

"Oh, here we are." she stopped in front of a door and knocked on it.

"Come in." Ed heard a female voice reply. Shizune opened the door and stuck her head in.

"Oh, am I interrupting anything?" she asked. Ed guessed that something important was going on in there, but he decided not to be nosy.

"No, not at all," the female voice replied. "What is it Shizune?" Shizune tensed.

"The person from that new found land Ameistris is here Lady Tsunade." there was silence, Ed almost thought that everyone was gone, but then...

"Let him in then, I would like to speak with him." the voice then turned stern. "Squad 7, Squad 8, Squad 10, and Squad 11, I think we should get to the point of your combined mission." Shizune stepped aside and gestured Ed inside.

When Ed stepped inside the room, the first thing he noted was the mass number amount of people, most were about kids around the age of thirteen or fourteen. There was a gray haired man with a mask on, he had a strange headband that covered his left eye, he was wearing a green vest and black pants, he looked like the type that annoys people but doesn't care. The three next to him were two boys and one girl, the first boy was a very blond kid, his hair was the exact color of a banana, he was wearing a orange and navy blue outfit and he was also wearing the same headband as the masked one. The girl creeped him out immediately, she had pink hair that reminded Ed of cherry blossoms, she was wearing a red and white dress and had green shorts underneath, she had a air of strength that reminded Ed of Winry when she has a wrench. The third boy had black hair and was wearing a dark blue shirt, arm covering, and white shorts, he reminded Ed of Wrath the Furious for some reason, when Ed looked into his eyes he saw only hatred and revenge. Ed could place nicknames on them immediately, the gray one was gloomy eyes, the blondie was nitwit, the girl was pink blob, and the hatred one was anger eyes.

The next four people were also three kids and one adult, but at least the adult looked decent for a leader. He had short black hair and was wearing the same headband on his head, he had a cigarette in his mouth and was also wearing the green vest and black pants as gloomy eyes. He seemed to be smirking at Ed, which begun to annoy him. The three kids next to him weren't any better, the tallest boy had brown hair which was held back in a spiky ponytail, he looked lazy to Ed, and when the kid yawned, he was right. The kid was basically wearing a fishnet jacket, and brown pants, the headband that his teacher was wearing was around his upper arm, he was slouching over and looked like he needed more sleep. The second boy had lighter brown hair and on his head was a stranger looking headband, for it had a second piece of cloth going right over the middle. He was wearing a green jacket and a white shirt with a red symbol on it and light brown shorts, and in his hands he was holding a bag of chips.

/Reminds me of Gluttony.../ Ed thought.

The girl had light blond hair that was lighter that nitwit's, it was up in a ponytail and came down to her back, she had a strange aura around her that reminded Ed of an annoying fan. She was wearing arm coverings and had a really dark purple shirt and short skirt on , but thank Truth that she was wearing shorts underneath it. Ed noticed the headband around her waist instead of on her forehead and shrugged it off. Ed thought up nicknames fast, the adult was smoker, the yawner was sleepy, the girl was ponytail, and the second boy was chubby, he figured that he would be mad if he called him fatso so he stuck with chubby.

The third group was the same number, but the adult was female, she had what looked like think white and black strips of cloth that wrapped around her body and had a red sleeve on her right shoulder. She had long black hair that went past her shoulders, and she had the trademark headband on her fore-head. The first boy was wearing a white coat that came down to just above his knees, he was wearing black glasses that covered his eyes and had dark brown hair and the trademark headband. Ed noted the way he held a bug on his finger and smirked. The second boy had dark brown hair, slits for eyes, and red marks on his cheeks, he was wearing a gray jacket that had fury armholes and hood and was also wearing dark capris. Ed noticed the white dog laying on top of the teen's head without being bothered by it, he also noted the canine teeth he had and chuckled. The girl had dark purple hair and light gray eyes, Ed almost thought that she was under a trance or something before he realized that's her true eye color. She was wearing a pale jacket and dark capris, she wore the headband around her neck instead of her head, Ed also noticed her posture. Her knees were buckled together slightly and her hands were together right below her chin, Ed noted that she kept looking at nitwit and blushing. Their names would be red sleeve, bug boy, puppy, and shy face, Ed looked at the last group.

The leader completely freaked Ed out, he was wearing the green vest, but was also wearing tights that covered his arms and legs. His hair was cut so it didn't go past his ears, he kept smiling, winking, and giving Ed the thumbs up which made Ed want to punch the guy. His eyebrows were what creeped Ed out the most, they were the bushiest eyebrows he had ever seen! His headband was tied around his waist and had a different cloth color. The first boy was almost the spitting image of the adult, same haircut, same tights, same eyebrows, headband in the same place. The eyes creeped Ed out just as much as the eyebrows, but even though the two of them seemed ugly, Ed could tell that they were really strong, he would have to watch his step around those two. The second boy looked more mature than the first two, he had long brown hair that came down to his mid back and was in a loose ponytail. He was wearing a shirt of the same color that shy face was wearing, and had brown shorts, his eyes were the same as shy face's too, Ed guessed they were related. His headband was tied firmly around his forehead, Ed could tell that he was strong too, maybe even a rival to his male teammate. The girl of the group had brown hair that was tied up in two buns, she was wearing a pink, sleeveless shirt and dark green pants. She was playing with a strange looking knife, Ed guessed she like weapons, so he decided to steer clear of her. Their names would be, tights, brows, stern face, and knife girl.

"Thank you for coming all this way to the Village Hidden in The Leaves," a light blond woman sitting in a desk in the middle of the room said. "I hope you didn't have too much trouble in getting here." Ed snorted.

"Oh no, no trouble at all," Ed said sarcastically. "That is if you call getting lost, getting attacked by losers in masks, weirdos in red, white and black cloaks and having to ask for directions no trouble at all." gloomy eyes, smoker, red sleeve, tights, and the blond woman at the desk looked at me with widened eyes when I said 'weirdos is red, white, and black cloaks'. But they recovered quickly.

"Well, I'm sorry we couldn't send a shinobi to show you the way, all of my squads were out on missions at the time." the woman apologized. Then she straightened up and folded her hands in front of her and rested her chin on them. "My name is Lady Tsunade, I'm the Hokage of the Leaf Village, in your terms, I'm the leader."

"My name is Edmond Emic," Ed said, gritting his teeth at the fake name. "I come from the military in Ameistris and I was assigned to come here-" Ed was cut off by nitwit.

"But there's no way someone as small as you could be in the military, you could be no older than us!" Ed twitched and grabbed his jacket and lifted him off his feet, everyone seemed to gasp at the strength he had.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE CAN ONLY BE SEEN WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!" Ed was pulled off nitwit by gloomy eyes and smoker. "LET ME AT EM' LET ME AT EM'!" nitwit jumped to his feet after Ed dropped him.

"What is your problem! All I said was that you're too small to be in the military!" Ed growled and wriggled out of the two adults grasps.

"FYI YOU NITWIT! I HAVE HAPPENED TO BE IN THE MILITARY FOR SIX YEARS! SO DON'T YOU START!" the boy seemed to gap in surprise.

"Naruto..." Tsunade stood up slowly with a raised fist. "What have I told you about insulting people before knowing them?!" she gave nitwit a big conk on the head, which left him with a big bump there. She sat down while rubbing her temples.

"But grama Tsunade!" nitwit said pointing at Ed. "He started it!" Ed growled.

"No one calls me that and gets away with it! Remember that for next time nitwit..." Ed said darkly. The blond growled back.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki! Believe it!" he pointed at Ed who just snorted.

"Sure, I'll believe it when you climb into a cage with a person who wants to kill you really badly." the room went quiet. "What?" Ed asked in a smug voice.

"Nothing..." Tsunade said taking out a scroll. "I asked the military in your land to send over one of their best men to help us with a matter." Ed walked over to the desk and looked at the scroll. "You see, every year we have our ally, the Village Hidden in the Sand, comes over for the festival that we throw every year, but recently strange things have begun to happen. People have gone missing, houses have been trashed, and the most strangest thing, blood smears appear on the door of the next house that end up with someone of that house missing.(1)" Ed thought about the mission and shrugged.

"I think I can help, but do you happen to have a library?" Tsunade looked at him. "My superiors weren't exactly well informed about your country, I would like to read about your ways, I don't like missing out on things that I should know." Tsunade nodded in understanding.

"Squad 7, Squad 8, Squad 10, and Squad 11, you may have one person from each of your team go with Edmond-"

"Ed," Edward interrupted. "I don't like being called by my full first name." Tsunade sighed and smiled.

"You can choose one person from your team go with Ed to the library." Ed smiled and glanced at the four groups. Nitwit, brows, puppy, and ponytail were picked, Ed growled as he glared at Naruto and looked away.

"Why the idiot?" Ed asked gloomy eyes.

"Because he needs to learn to respect others, going with you will help teach him that." Ed growled as ponytail smiled at him.

"Come on, I'll show you the way to the library." she grabbed Ed's arm and pulled him out of the room,

"Wait a minute!" Tsunade said abruptly, Ed poked his head back into the room. "When you've had your fill of knowledge, come back here, I'll want to show you a few things." Ed shrugged and was once again pulled out of the room by ponytail. Naruto, brows, and puppy followed.

"So for introduction," ponytail started. "I'm Ino Yamanaka, nice to meet you." Ed shrugged.

"Edmond Emic, but just call me Ed." Ed noticed the blush that creeped up over Ino's face and ignored it. Just then brows jumped in front of him and held out his hand.

"I am Rock Lee, it is very nice to meet you Edmond Emic." he said seriously.

"I said this already, call me Ed!" Ed said a little too loud.

"Oh don't mind bushy brows!" Naruto (nitwit) said stepping beside him. "He likes meeting new people and introducing himself!" Ed glared at him but noticed puppy looking at him.

"Do you want something 'puppy'?" Ed teased. Said puppy twitched.

"My name is Kiba Inuzuka! Not puppy!" Ed laughed.

"Then why do you have a puppy on your head?!" Ed asked.

"His name is Akamaru!" Kiba yelled.

"Yeah whatever, now where the hell is this library?!" Ed yelled. Ino pulled him towards the said library and put her finger to her lips.

"As you should know, you have to be quiet in here." Ed nodded and walked into the building, he walked over to the nearest shelf and started looking through the shelves to see if he could find a book that could teach him something useful. Ed had looked through five bookcases, each bookcase containing ten shelves, and both sides being occupied, before Ino and Kiba walked up to him, that means he had to of looked through more than three thousand books.

"Are you trying to find anything important?" Kiba asked.

"I'm trying to find something that will help me learn more about your country, your land, your neighboring countries, their lands, the ways of these villages, anything that can help me." Ed said without looking away from the bookcase.

"Well," Ino began. "Would you be interested in the history of the five great nations and the way of each nation?" Ed snapped his head towards Ino.

"Where would I find a book like that?" Ed asked. Ino held out a book to Ed, which he took willingly. Kiba handed him some more books and a few scrolls. "What are these on?" Ed growled under the weight.

"Chakra, Ninjutstu, Genjutsu, Tajutstu, shinobi," Kiba began listing. "S-class ninjas, criminals of every nation, the five Kages, important clans, forbidden techniques, hand-signs," Ed rolled his eyes at the long list. "What you need to know about ninjas, who's important in each village-oh and there's also the bingo book on some of the worst criminals ever." Ed laughed.

"You trying to occupy me so I don't go anywhere?" Kiba growled.

"No, I'm helping you learn about our land, our country, and our neighboring countries!" Kiba whispered loudly.

"Well, let me find a table so I can start reading." Ed walked over to an empty table. Naruto covered his mouth as Ed grabbed a book on chakra. "What's so funny?" Ed asked in a amused voice.

"I'm just laughing at how long it'll take you to read all of those books and scrolls." Ed smirked and opened the book, his eyes dashed back and forth over the pages. By the time one and a half minutes had passed, Ed had already read thirty pages, Naruto, Lee, Ino, and Kiba could only gap at his reading skills. Ed closed the book and set it down to start a 'have read' pile and smirked up at the four shocked teens.

"You were saying nitwit?" Naruto growled and turned away. Ed shrugged and grabbed the next book in the stack, which was on the three types of jutstu.

In about an hour, Ed had gone through more than half of the books and scrolls, Lee and Kiba kept looking through the library for more books that could help Ed, Lee was amazed at Ed's reading ability, Kiba was surprised at how fast he could read. Ed was starting to interest three of the four teens, Naruto was mad that Ed was well liked already, he wasn't really fond of Ed because of the greeting he got from Ed when he called him small. He knew that Ino would hit him because she was starting to fall for Ed, Lee wouldn't be on his side because he didn't think Ed was bad and deserved to be hit, he might have a shot with Kiba, but even he was a long shot. Ed was having fun reading the books, he was intrigued at the strange ways of these shinobi people, by the time it was four thirty, Ed had read more than half of the books in the library. Ino, Kiba, and Lee were exhausted after going up and down stairs carrying books to and from Ed, Ino and Lee took books back to the shelves, and Kiba and Lee as well took books to Ed. Naruto didn't help out at all but Ed didn't seem to notice, Ino wanted to hit him, but she always had her hands full of books, and she didn't want to disrespect the books or scrolls so she ignored him. Lee tried to get him to help but had no luck, Kiba didn't even try to get him to help, he wouldn't know what useful or not anyways. Finally, Ed closed the last book, and rolled up the last scroll that had been brought to him and stood up to stretch.

"Ahhh, what time is it?" Ed asked sleepily. Kiba looked at the clock.

"It is... four thirty-six in the afternoon." Ed sighed and then realized something.

"Oh shit, I didn't book a hotel." Naruto chuckled, but Lee walked up to Ed.

"Don't worry, there's a reservation at a hotel for you, Lady Hokage made sure to get you a place to sleep in case you never got to that." Ed yawned and stretched again.

"Well, where am I suppose to go?" Lee was about to lead him out of the library to take him to the hotel, but Ino stopped him.

"I think Naruto should show him to his hotel." Kiba grinned.

"Yeah, definitely him." Lee was confused but didn't ask.

"Why me?!" Naruto asked.

"Because you hardly did anything and besides," Kiba said. "Your sensei said to learn to respect strangers." Naruto groaned.

"Fine," he turned to Ed. "Come on, I'm planing on eating ramen tonight so don't slow up cause I have to get up early tomorrow to train." Ed shrugged as he followed nitwit.

There was complete silence as Ed followed Naruto, who tried to walk at a quick pace so Ed would have to try to keep up. But Ed could walk just as fast as he could, with all the training Ed got in the military, and from Teacher, he had no problem keeping up. When Naruto dropped him off at his hotel, he made sure that Ed was signed in before beginning to leave.

"Hold it!" Ed said. Naruto grumbled before turning around.

"What!" Ed smirked.

"Thanks for showing me the way, I probably would of gotten myself lost in this new town." Ed was trying to make himself sound friendly, cause honestly, he didn't want to be on uneven terms with nitwit. And yet, he didn't know why.

"You're welcome!" Naruto said, grinning.

When Ed walked into his room, for the first time he took the bag off his shoulder and tossed it onto the floor. He collapsed on the bed and thought about what happened that day, Ed got up to close the curtains when he noticed movement outside his window. He opened the window and looked around, there wasn't anyone there, but Ed wasn't going to risk it so he locked the window and closed the curtains. When he was sure that there wasn't any way anyone could peep into his room, he put his jacket on the bed post and pulled off his shirt, revealing his automail, he pulled on his nightshirt and then pulled off his pant. Which revealed boxers, and an automail leg, Ed pulled on pants and crawled into the bed, he was completely curious as to what have could have been outside his window.

However, Ed wasn't completely insane, there had been someone outside his window, Jiraya groaned as the light in the room turned off and heard soft snoring from inside the room. He rubbed the back of his head before sighing.

"Well, I guess I have to tell Tsunade that I couldn't get anything on him," he then rubbed his hands together and began drooling. "Well, as long as I can get some research tonight!" and then he was off without a trace.


Devil: Nice don't you think?

Ed: I hate you.

Devil: Nu-uh, you know you love me.

Ed: YOU SEPARATED ME FROM AL IN THIS STORY!

Devil: I couldn't think up a story that involved your brother! So I left him out! No offense Alphonse.

Al: None taken, I'm just enjoying Ed in this story.

Ed: AL!

EXPLANATIONS!

(1) - I couldn't think up a good enough plot line, I'm okay with hearing your ideas for a better plot line! My mind is just brain dead right now!

FYI: RATING MAY CHANGE AS I WRITE THE CHAPTERS.