Author's note: I should be finishing my multi-chapter, I know. But I couldn't focus on it the other day, so I tried to write something more lighthearted, and this is the result. I hope you enjoy it. I certainly enjoyed writing it!
This one is dedicated to my friend, Bia, who asked me to write a fic when Lisbon eavesdropped on Jane interrogating Lorelei. That's not exactly what this is, but it certainly is related to it!
And it's also dedicated to Kah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! This is your present. I really hope you enjoy it! Love you!
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for Season 5. This only concerns one of the spoilers, though, and it was the first one to be released. Also, it was plastered all over Twitter, so I really doubt you haven't seen it by now.
Disclaimer: Don't own The Mentalist, obviously. The title is from Linkin Park's song, Castle of Glass. It describes Jane perfectly, seriously- go listen to it!
Castle of Glass
"Bring me home in a blinding dream,
Through the secrets that I have seen
Wash the sorrow from off my skin
And show me how to be whole again"
Lorelei Martins was dead.
It had taken longer than usual. Judging from their poor results in the past, everyone- Jane included- hadn't expected the Red John accomplice to last very long. But, surprisingly, she had.
Well. Not long, exactly- but Lisbon thought that a couple of months was pretty good. Five months, to be exact.
During which time Jane had relentlessly tried to break her, to get any information on the elusive serial killer- anything at all. And he had been successful, to an extent. They now had a couple of names to work with- none of them were Red John, obviously, but they were better than nothing.
Lisbon sighed. He was going to be impossible now. Spending all of his time in his attic- he had reverted to that terrible habit, much to her increasing worry- and never sleeping, never talking to the team. To her.
She shuddered. He had absolutely prohibited her from listening to his interviews with Lorelei. She hadn't listened, of course. She was the lead agent in the case, dammit! Who did he think he was, bossing her around and expecting her to follow his unreasonable demands?
He had said he was trying to protect her. Lisbon snorted. How was he protecting her if he was keeping valuable information away from her? Deniability. That was probably how the lunatic justified it in his head. Bastard.
But she hadn't listened, of course. Like hell.
Lisbon shook her head to clear it when another driver honked, quickly moving away from her slow car. She sighed. Patrick Jane had even affected her driving skills, for God's sake. She couldn't concentrate, she couldn't- sigh.
She couldn't live without him. She knew it was the truth, and it was about time to admit it- since she couldn't tell him, she might as well admit it to herself.
He dominated her thoughts. All the time. His face was the first thing she saw when she woke up and it haunted her when she tried to fall asleep.
And that was the real reason she hadn't accepted his demands, had lied to his face when she promised that she would stay away from Lorelei.
She'd missed him. She'd missed her Jane.
Her eyes filled with tears. He had said terrible things in that interrogation room- awful, terrifying things. Patrick Jane had threatened, had bribed, had become as dark and frightening as necessary- as dark as Red John.
Her heart filled with even more love for him then. She didn't think it was possible.
The only reason he had said and done those things was because he has a heart. He had thought it was necessary- necessary to avenge his beloved family and, if she chose to believe him, to protect her and the team. As much as he tried to remain cool and aloof, Teresa Lisbon knew that Patrick Jane had a beautiful, loving heart. He feels. He cries, he rejoices, he loves.
That was the Jane she had fallen in love with. Her wonderful, wonderful Jane.
He had his faults and his problems, of course he did. But who didn't?
He was perfect just the way he was. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't she make him see it?
She had tried. So hard.
For a decade, Lisbon had tried to make Patrick Jane see that revenge wasn't healthy, wasn't right. That it wouldn't bring Angela and Charlotte back. That it wouldn't make him happy.
She had wanted Jane to continue with the CBI, if he wished, but to catch Red John the right way.
Lisbon had wanted Patrick Jane to move on.
But now he was back to the dark, horrible place he had started from. All her care, her love- it had been for nothing.
She could do nothing if her best friend and partner didn't want to be saved. Tears fell down her cheeks, while the rational part of her silently thanked God that she had been able to reach her apartment safely- she wasn't thinking straight.
But Teresa Lisbon knew she wouldn't stop trying to save Patrick Jane. Ever.
Her love for him was too overwhelming to allow for anything else. He was her family, her Jane. She would fight for him, always. Lisbon only hoped he would let her.
The CBI Agent had promptly taken a shower as soon as she had walked inside her home. She had felt dirty, poisoned by Lorelei's presence somehow and had scrubbed at her skin ferociously, trying to get rid of the horrible feeling.
Now utterly exhausted and sporting a comfortable jeans and green V-neck shirt- she wished she could've put on her comfortable jersey instead, but she knew she might get called in at any second- Lisbon collapsed on the couch.
Her thoughts, unsurprisingly, flitted back to her utterly unruly, chaotic consultant- and she closed her eyes in despair.
A knock on the door startled Lisbon and she opened her eyes wide, groaning. Now? Did he really have to decide to leave his godforsaken attic now, of all times?
How was she supposed to face him like this?
The usually unflappable woman thought of pretending she wasn't home. Another groan. Well, that certainly wouldn't work. Jane had undoubtedly seen her car in the lot, and he would pester her until she let him in, Lisbon was sure.
Standing up and taking careful steps toward the door, she looked in the peephole and was greeted by a disarray of golden curls.
Another groan and the door was flung open.
"What do you want, Jane?"
Her brain didn't have time to register how different he looked- desperate, but it was a different desperation this time. The cold, calculating glimmer wasn't present in his eyes, either. Instead, he looked- determined?
Jane quickly closed the gap between them, closing the door and pulling her to him. He wrapped his arms around her fiercely, cradling her head to his chest. His breathing was erratic.
Lisbon didn't react for a couple of seconds. When she did, she surprised herself by pulling away, instead of burrowing into his warm, delightful embrace- one she had craved for months.
"Wha- what are you doing?" She gestured helplessly, moving backwards quickly, leaning back against her couch.
He looked hurt for a second, before his mask fell back into place. "We need to talk. Please, Lisbon? I know you're still mad at me, but…" He stopped talking, looking at her pleadingly.
She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Had he figured her out? Of course he had, you idiot. He had probably known she had been listening to the interrogations the whole time.
"Well then, let's talk. What about?"
Jane gave her that look he always did when he knew she was playing dumb. That stare, that managed to be both incredulous and affectionate at the same time. The affection was much more pronounced now, though, and it scared her.
What was going on here?
She exhaled in defeat. "Fine. You knew all along, didn't you?"
He smiled softly and moved closer, but she raised her hand gently to stop him. If he wanted to talk, he couldn't be too close to her. Not now. She wouldn't be able to concentrate.
"Haven't I always told you that you're a bad liar, dear? You're too good, too honest." He paused, looked down. Was he nervous? "So yes, I knew. I never thought you'd actually listen to me. But I had to try."
Her mouth was open in shock, her entire body tense. "Then why didn't you try to stop me? Not that you would have succeeded, mind you. I would've kicked your ass." She was the one who stepped closer then, waving her arms in the air for emphasis. "I listened to every interrogation. Every one. I heard everything you said in there, Jane. Doesn't that bother you?"
He moved closer, the fire she knew so well back in his eyes. This was the Patrick Jane she knew. The good, caring man who had promised he'd always be there for her- no matter what.
"You did!" He grabbed her hand. "You did, and yet, you're still here. You listened to the horrible, despicable things I told her- every single threat, every single lie. But you never left."
Lisbon was searching his eyes for any indication of where he was going with this. Did he really think, after all these years, that she'd leave him for that? She had been scared and worried, sure- but never of him. No, she'd been scared for him.
She yanked her hand away, angry now. "You idiot! Do you really still doubt me so much after all these years, that you thought you couldn't trust me with a couple of interrogations? Screw you, Jane!" Lisbon turned her back on him, tears filling her eyes once again. Dammit. Why couldn't she stop crying? "I wouldn't leave you! Not for that, not for anything! I can't believe you. You have the nerve to come here and….and-"
She couldn't control her voice anymore, so she stopped talking. Jane, catching her by surprise, managed to envelop her in his arms once more. Tired of fighting, Lisbon buried her head in his vest and cried.
He ran his hand through her curls, waiting for her to calm down.
"I never doubted you, my dear. How could I? I knew that you would want to listen to the interrogations if I had let you- and I didn't want you to see me like that. I should've known, though, that it wouldn't drive you away…that you would fight, that you would stay by my side. My dear, dear Teresa…" He pulled away gently, only enough to be able to look down at her tear-stained face. "What I did to deserve you in my life I'll never know."
Lisbon touched his cheek gently and he closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation of her gentle, tiny fingertips against his skin.
"You are a good man, Patrick. You are. Please don't ever think otherwise. It hurts me to see you like this."
He opened his eyes slowly and Lisbon gasped when she saw the emotions swirling in his gentle gaze. Affection was all she saw. And was that….oh.
So slowly it made her heart ache even more, Jane lowered his head and gently joined their lips.
It was barely a caress- so, so gentle and perfect. She gasped, overwhelmed, and almost collapsed when her knees buckled.
He caught her; of course he did, resting his forehead on hers.
Teresa's eyes were closed and he took the time to observe her silently. She looked so vulnerable, so tiny- his heart swelled with even more love for her.
He loved her so much. His beautiful, wonderful guardian angel.
She opened her eyes, then, and it was his turn to gasp. The love he saw in her teary gaze brought moisture to his own eyes, and he leaned down to brush his lips against hers once more.
This kiss was more heated than the last one, but was still so innocent. Pure.
"Patrick." She sighed softly, and her sweet breath fanned over his face, leaving him slightly dizzy.
He brushed his lips against her face- anywhere and everywhere he was able to reach. Her eyelids, her adorable nose, each individual freckle. He had always loved those.
"I love you, Teresa. So, so much."
She opened her eyes, smiling the most brilliant and breathtaking smile he had ever seen.
"I love you too."
She pressed another kiss to his lips, much to his delight. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to work with her now. Kissing Teresa Lisbon was addictive.
She chuckled, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.
"But, of course, you probably already knew that."
He smiled gently, leading her towards the couch and indicating that she should sit next to him. She did, sighing again, and rested her head on his chest.
"I, uh…had a hunch, yes." He ran his hands through her hair again, while she laid her hand on his chest and looked up at him.
She was still smiling, but he could see some of the joy in her face being replaced by seriousness.
"Are you sure about this, Jane?" He was about to answer her, but she gently covered his mouth with her own, effectively stopping whatever he had been about to say. She broke away a few seconds later and he remained in silence. "I love you. Of course I do. But I just want you to be happy. If this isn't really what you want…"
"Teresa. Look at me." He put his hand under her chin, forcing her to gaze into his eyes. He hoped she could see how serious he was. "There is no one who I'd rather be with. No one, do you hear me?" She nodded slowly, but he could see that there was still some doubt lingering in her gaze. "You were the only one who stayed by my side- even when I tried to push you away. You are always there for me and I could never thank you enough. This won't be easy- I'm not healed and I'm not whole, but I am certain we can make it work. We will, if you take this chance. Because I love you. I do, and nothing you say will ever change that."
Tears had once again started spilling down her cheeks and Patrick moved closer, kissing them away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, anchoring him to her. She would never let him go, now. She hoped he knew that.
"You're never leaving again. I don't care what I have to do- I will chain you to my desk if I have to. Do you understand?"
He laughed- a full laugh that she had never heard before. His relief was so great, it was almost palpable. She could feel his happiness by the way he clutched her to his chest, pressing impossibly closer. She hoped her smile against his neck showed him she felt the same.
She had never been so happy.
Jane was still chuckling and his voice sounded a little breathless- he sounded so much younger, so much lighter.
"That sounds absolutely fair to me, love. Not that it will be necessary- but it's fair, nonetheless." He sobered up after speaking, seemingly realizing that there were still things that needed to be said. "I'm never leaving again, Teresa. Please believe me. I wouldn't be able to give you up. I never will."
She nodded against his neck, kissing the skin there gently.
"I know." And she did, with a certainty that startled her. She knew he loved her, and that meant that he wouldn't leave. Not again.
They stayed in that position for a long time- neither would be able to say exactly how long. Lisbon suddenly yawned softly. She was so tired.
"You're tired, love. You should go to bed."
He made no move to stand up and leave, though, and she smiled again.
"Will you stay?" She looked up, saw that he looked uncertain. Her smile widened. He probably thought that it was her sleepy, confused self talking- and that she would regret it in the morning. "Please, Patrick?"
He smiled. "Of course."
Standing up and taking his hand, she led him to the bedroom and left him there while she went to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. When she returned, Jane had taken off his shoes and vest and was seated on a side of the bed, looking at the pictures on her bedside table.
She blushed instinctively, but found that she wasn't embarrassed. Why should she be? The picture of them together at the CBI benefit dinner was beautiful, and she loved it. Besides, she also had the team picture and one of her brothers, so it wasn't that embarrassing.
He noticed her discomfort and quickly held out his hand, which she took gratefully. He turned off the bedside lamp and lay back, pulling her with him.
"It's a very nice picture, Teresa." At her new blush, he kissed her forehead and whispered theatrically, "I have one just like it."
She smiled softly and laid her head on his chest, moving closer and pulling the covers over them. She didn't think she would need them- he was so warm- but it was a chilly night, and she didn't want to catch a cold.
Lisbon kissed him again. She couldn't stop. After they broke apart, she closed her eyes and sighed. "Goodnight, Patrick."
He kissed the bridge of her nose, tangling his hand in her hair.
"Goodnight, my love."
Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading! Please tell me what you thought, if you have the time!