Rewritten 6/5/13 because it was bothering me. :P
Wassap newbies? Luayn (banana102283) here writing Deal With It, a series of oneshots where I tortu- sorry, portray the fantastic and vibrant adventures my wizards have and how they, er, interact with one another! Yeah, that sounds legit! Alright! Let's go!
(Note: Most of these, unless said otherwise, take place after the Malistaire plot line, because it's not like the adventure's done after that, right? Characters mentioned below appear in later oneshots.)
I sighed, resting my elbows on the table before resuming my argument with the girl-wizard sitting across from me. "Well, I don't think-"
Ceren Nightchant slid next to me on the wooden bench, bumping hips with me, and across from me, Ellie stifled a laugh. The traitor. Ignoring her, I took a bite out of my sandwich and tried to savor the taste before my appetite was spoiled.
Ceren Nightchant: Moolinda Wu suck up, egocentric idiot, and general pervert. Ever since day one of wizard-saving-the-spiral-ness and helping save the corrupted fairies, he's been trying to get me to date him. (Like some sort of... I'd compare him to something disgusting, but he's going to be worse, so I'm not even going to try.)
So he goes after anything remotely female in the area anyway. That doesn't mean I can't sock him in the gut, right?
"Awwww," he whined, putting his elbow onto the table and leaning in closer. "Don't want to talk to me, Ryan?"
No. And probably not for as long as I live. Reaching for the glass of water on the table, I took a sip.
"What happened to our date?"
I spit took and Ellie burst out laughing.
"Excuse me?" I asked, after wiping my face with a napkin. Ellie, you're going to die, I telepathed to her.
"Yeah, you know," Ceren waggled his eyebrows, "the date you've wanted since who knows when." Sure, tell me that after your romantic evening with you-know-who, Ellie retorted. Out loud, she muffled a laugh into the green sleeve of her cloak.
"Hypocrite," I said, edging away from him. "You're the one butting into our conversation with, 'Hey Ryan, let's go out!' every time we meet." Although I was the greatest at keeping up with double conversations, I chose not to reply to Ellie's remark and instead just glared at her.
"But that's only because you're the only girl for me!" he said, switching tactics. "You know I only have eyes for you!"
"Says the skirt-chaser," I muttered underneath my breath.
Ignoring my remark, he put his elbows on the table and leaned, causing the whole table to pitch back and forth. Drinks wobbled inside of their glasses, threatening to fall over. "I still remember the little girl who came here to save the fairies!" he said, punching his fist in the air. I resisted the urge to punch my fist in his face. Although, it would probably improve his looks. "And now you're all grown up..."
"I'm pretty sure you're only a year older than us...?" Ellie interrupted curiously.
Then, he shook his head, oblivious to the damage he was doing. My sandwich fell off of its plate onto the grass. Lunch ruined? Check. "Look baby," he said, ignoring my excuse as well as my sandwich, "I know you want to hang out with me, and I'm sorry, but I've got to do my work! Moolinda Wu depends on me!" He smiled. "You understand, right?"
"...You try to hit on me, then say you're 'busy'," quote-quote, "for Moolinda Wu."
"Oh no, I'm not cheating on you with her!" he cried, clasping my hands. "I only love you!"
"..." Words were failing me. Slowly, I pulled my hands away from his. Ellie had turned away now, shaking.
Seeing that I was speechless, he amended, raising both of his hands, "Sure, I do everything she asks, but it's more for my reputation, you know? Good grades, good job, good future? Teacher-student relationship only, I swear. Nothing else! No, uh, girlfriend-boyfriend stuff, like, inviting her into my room-" He paused. "Well, I do give her some plants sometimes- But," Ceren blurted, "but that's because she's the gardening teacher too, right, so she needs to check up on our plants, it's not like I'm giving her an anniversary present or anything-"
"...Please, go away, and never come back." I thought I had faced enough, saving Wizard City, Krokotopia, Marleybone, Grizzleheim, Moo-Shu, and Dragonspyre. Now, I realized I was wrong. Life really loved to torture me.
"You don't believe me?" he cried. "Ellie, do you see this? She thinks I'm cheating on her!"
Ellie had to breathe in and out a couple times before answering. Lips quirking up, she said with a raised eyebrow, "You're denying it a lot."
As Ceren began to vehemently deny her implied accusation, I telepathed, Oh sure Ellie. Don't defend me, oh no no, of course not. Especially when I'm the one who packed our lunches.
Oh, but I couldn't help myself. And your sandwiches are always the best, she replied, munching on a ham and cheese one I had painstakingly made earlier this morning.
Yeah, well you can starve tomorrow! Ceren didn't listen to me, and Ellie didn't even try to help me out. Although, Ceren was expected. I put my head on the table and groaned. Where was everyone else when I needed them?
"-and I swear I have better taste in presents, I won't give you any plants! Look, I'll get you, uh, earrings and..." He looked at me. "Necklaces? Makeup? Bracelets?" He leaned closer. "...Socks?"
Suddenly he grinned devilishly. "Oh, I know what you want now. Maybe if we go somewhere else more private, you can have an early birthday with me, free of charge." He winked. "I wouldn't miss Moolinda to be with you for a day, doll."
Doll? I looked up with half-lidded eyes, obviously needing to clarify this. "Ceren, if you're getting me anything for a birthday present," he leaned in eagerly, waiting for my response, "get me as far away as possible from you."
Instead of leaning back like I had been desperately hoping for, he leaned in close enough for me to feel his breath on my face. I choked on my sandwich. "But wouldn't you just come crawling back for me?"
I punched him in the gut, and breath rushing out of him, he fell off of the bench and onto the wood of the pavilion. Ellie looked amused and I grinned, taking another bite of my sandwich. Score!
Ceren coughed. "Feisty, huh...?" he wheezed. Finally, after me ignoring him for a bit, he dragged himself over and collapsed the entire front part of his body onto the bench."Don't deny your love for me, come oooon," he huffed. "Can't you see I'm right here, waitin' for ya babe?"
Pushing his hood off, he flicked his brown hair back and gave me a bright smile. "What could you possibly have to lose?"
Virtually. Everything. I just found his flirting techniques creepy, and even Ellie seemed alarmed.
If I could just... Taking a deep breath, I summoned every single fiber of charm I had. In what was probably a bizarre change in personality and fluttering my eyelashes, I said sweetly, "Hey, maybe... could you tell me about that time you rescued that fairy from, um, what's-his-name-"
Ceren didn't even look surprised I asked, which I figured."Oh, you want to hear about that?" He shrugged, leaning back, probably thinking that he had me hooked (eww), and gave me another one of his smiles. "It wasn't a big deal, really, but I know it's such an interesting tale, and I just know you wouldn't be able to resist-"
As he continued to talk about whatever stupid thing he had done, I glared at Ellie as clearly as I could, making sure she got the message. Save. Me.
She laughed. Oh no. I'm having fun watching this.
"-and then the fairy was like, 'Someone, help me!', so I sprinted over, jumped over some trees and stuff-" Ceren was saying.
I made an exasperated face. Come on! Please?
Mmm... no thanks.
What happened to friendship? Trust? Stick up for your peers? Report sightings to an adult?
Isn't that what the teachers said about bullying?
Oh, no. They were talking about harassment - for example, now...!
"-and suddenly, me and the skeleton were locked in an epic battle to the death, and there was blood trailing down my arm but I didn't notice as I hoisted my sword in the air-"
You always tease me about stuff Ryan - so just let me enjoy this for a little longer!
I'm sure we could have lots of fun somewhere else - like maybe the Commons? Can't we move there? There are a lot of witnesses there-
But it's nice over here!
-oh, you know, Ceren can even come! We can just, tie him up, put him on the carousel in the Fairegrounds, get a videorb-
Haha. Tempting, but no thanks.
Or, maybe, burn him at the stake - let me just call Kieran, he'd be willing-
"-'Who's there?' I cried, waving my torch around. I carried the limp, unconscious fairy in my arms, begging desperately for her to stay alive while I found my way through the misty cave-"
A cave? How did we even get here? Smiling at Ceren, I kicked her leg underneath the table, and she narrowed her eyes at me.
What was that for?
I can't deal with him! Please! I'll make it up to you!
"Come on, ladies!" Ceren said, interrupting our mental conversation. It seemed like he was done with his dramatic story, his eyes flitting back and forth between me and her trying to figure out what we were saying.
"Although," he added with a roguish smile, "if you're trying to choose which one of you gets me, I can always share!"
You know what, forget this!
I stood up rigidly, my fists balled. "I'm leaving." Swiping my sword up from the bench, I headed towards the Commons tunnel. I felt bad, but I could always see her later, right?
"Aw, but honey, you can't leave me hangin'~!" he cried, jumping up too. He caught up with me and twisted me around to face him.
I smiled as warmly as I could. "Aw, but honey-" But instead of finishing my sentence, I stepped on his foot, yanking my arm out of his grasp as he yelped in pain. "-I am."
He tried to follow me as I made my way down the road. "Don't you want to hang out with me some more?" Ceren spun his staff like a baton, then leaned against it, tilting his hand back. "I've saved more fairies then you can count!" he claimed, as if that was a good enough reason.
I snorted. "Right, like I haven't saved the entire freakin' Spiral with my friends from Malistaire. Sure, pretend that didn't happen!" My silver eyes flashed, and he looked nervous. "Pretend I actually care about you saving those fairies - if the number's even more than five - and that I haven't done at least a hundred times what you have done. Pretend you have a chance of dating me too, and see how that works out."
"So you're dumping me, babe, before I have a chance to-" Ceren grinned, "-work my magic?"
Work my magic, my butt. Gritting my teeth, I drew the ice sign with my sword, channeling the water and cold in the air. He realized what I was about to do and sprinted forward too late, only to recieve a large ice wall in his face as the water molecules came together and froze. I twirled my sword and slipped it into its sheath on my belt. Tinted a sparkling clear blue, it broke through the paved stone road; harsh, jagged crystals of ice slicing through the air and up to the height of the trees from one side of the street to another that prevented Ceren from following me anymore.
I grinned. "You mean like this?" I shouted through the ice. I could see his blurry dark form from the other side. Versatile! Not only used for slicing right through monsters, but also a good shield! Shaking my head, I turned around. At this point, I was too ticked off to worry about messing up Unicorn Way, but no one but Ellie was there to witness the damage. Besides, it'd melt later.
(Uh, probably. Most of the time when I used this, I was busy destroying stuff or people, so I never bothered to come back and check whether it had melted.)
Behind the wall, Ceren shouted something, but I was already too far down the tunnel to hear it. I whistled.
"So," Ceren said, plucking an icicle off his cloak, "Babe, not like I had any eyes for her-" Ellie raised her eyebrows, "-but now that she's gone, you won't have any more competition. I know, I know," he said suddenly, raising both of his hands, "friendship and all that, but she'll never know! You won't be betraying her - we could just, what you could say, have some fun while she's gone. I'll never tell!"
"Come on, want to be a doll for me and go on a date with me while we're both stuck here?" He waggled his eyebrows and lifted his elbow, obviously hoping she'd slip hers in. "An early birthday present for the special birthday girl!"
Ellie leaned forward from her position to slap him on the face.